- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Tycho Brahe writes to his wife
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Click hereYou would grow in my eye with the distance and squared,
seven paces away you would fill up the sky,
a phantasma of lights, breathing cosmos as air.
Breathe me gently to sleep where I spin, passing by.
Seven seconds from here you'd be written in runes
on a wind weathered cliff, facing north for the shade.
An enigma for scholars and dreamers and loons,
spinning silk by your words, ancient song in a braid.
You would grow with the distance and squared in my eye,
you'd be fabric of saga before I lost sight.
Every heavenly shape, every sphere must comply,
as you anchor me here, facing stars, blessed by light.
- COMMENTS
PoetGuyabout 13 years agoThe use of anapests as the base meter gives the poem a very unusual sound. Poet Guy wonders whether anapestic tetrameter was chosen because it is twelve syllables in length, corresponding to the 12 signs of the Zodiac? Probably not, but that makes the line "Every heavenly shape, every sphere must comply" especially delicious.
Some of the phrasing seems a bot awkward, perhaps because of the meter--e.g., "with the distance and squared" seems a bit clumsy--but other instances, the phrasing is perfect ("seven paces away you would fill up the sky").
Overall, very well done and extremely interesting.
greenmountaineerabout 13 years agoI swore that I had previously left a comment. Perhaps a black hole in cyberspace swallowed it.
The pronunciation of Tycho Brahe mesmerized me from the very beginning. I also don't think I've ever seen the combination of mathematics and romantic love combined in a poem like this before. Quite a feat. It had such a wonderful flow to it, both in rhythm and narrative. A real high 5 to you.
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agorhymes galore and a mesmerizing read, perhaps that 12 thingy does it. I don't know but now want to try it.
twelveooneabout 13 years agoVery interesting experiment, good effect. 12 is a bitch isn't it?, I'm not quite gettiing a fix on it, some of it doesn't "look" quite right, which is why I like even more.
you know you're getting a 5
bogusagainabout 13 years agoshouldn't it be 'breathing the cosmos as air' or 'breathing cosmic air'?
I thought Tycho never married because his love was a commoner and not marrying, his children remained commoners and couldn't inherit his title. Not that I know why that effects the price of onions or your poem other than me being pedantic, though surely one can't mention Tycho without the fact he had his nose cut off in a sword fight.
I enjoyed the poem by the way. ;-)
buttersabout 13 years agoas his sunshine :)
another piece that had me googling, and found out his origins as Danish nobility, and his affinity with astronomy. perhaps i didn't look far enough to see if his wife was, indeed, made into the stuff of legends, but i love how you've employed the anapest here without making it overpower the message.
was he even married? was astronomy, or indeed the supernova that inspired his first publication, all what his life meant to him, enough for him to be seen as 'wedded' to it?
perspective, and love, they shine through. solid high 5's from me.
vrosej10about 13 years agoAnd incredible. I don't get the meaning but I suspect this is a poem for the sake of the feeling it evokes rather than the meaning. I actually love those. Getting a recommend and a *hug* for good work. :)
Angelineabout 13 years agobut it doesn't matter because your voice is so natural and lyrical. It has a great balance between intimate and cosmic and feels modern and timeless at once.
SweetOblivionabout 13 years agoAnd it comes across so very naturally, lacking all contrivance. Wonderful. S.O.
