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Click hereWhat was one is done and undone,
a length of grosgrain unbowed
but still of a piece, a slick of silk
that holds back hair or wraps
around two wrists is hardly felt,
barely there until untied it falls.
Everything fails. Everything falls.
Leaves end their reign, expose
the craw of branches, clouds let
down their bounty. Rain undoes
dust, drools the earth to puddles.
Snow carpets the same space,
mimics death, and clocks tick
like metronomes, time edges
past this all but memories
pressed in the pages of other
seasons, brittle roses faded
if unforgotten. New blooms crowd
the passing of was. Omniscience
ruling cycles of change, of glances
that remain until heads turn, until
the yearning of some wish awakes
to day, and still more voices speak
of go or stay, but these no more
than words, strangled in cups
of morning coffee, swallowed sweetly
bitter, then empty. Done, undone,
carried, dropped, picked up again,
pieced together, runes and stanzas,
oracles and dreams, the quilt
of hopes and seems or schemes worn
ragged, warm and cold, grief buried
in the folds, lids shut, one toe
of truth exposed then shrinking
back into belief, the safety of retreat
from what is lost or won and done
or un, beginning of an ending,
slouching toward something else
unknown, embraced without guile,
even here, in the wreckage
of a poem, in the rise or fall
of heart or home. Anew. Begun.
So as you wouldn't feel left out here is my comment on one of yours :)
But....unfortunately for you I can't "tongue lash" it as it's something I can understand and get into...unlike some other poets who shall remain nameless ;)
Sorry to disappoint.
if I get the message right...how hell was slowly turned into belief and the slow blossom of this?
Definately an E with such intricate wording and portrayal.
....a poem hits you hard in slow motion,demanding several read-throughs and then one more almost as if you can't believe your eyes . This is one such poem. It will stay with me for a long time. Wonderful!
Thank you Ange.
(waiting for the red H)
And tilt its tender lips toward mine. What beautiful heartache, Ange.
Wow~!! Reaches in an grabbs ya.."one toe of truth..exposed" what a great line. Just loved this whole poem..
and clever wordplay.Are you being non-committal of your feelings here...I see you expressing observances but attaching no value to done/undone. Am I missing something...a lot....? Let me know....
seems perfect. Stanzas 1-3 and stanza 5 especially held my interest. The remaining 3 were almost too much. As I said, it seems to be a flawless and beautiful poem, and I'm sure every reader will be grateful for each word you offer them. So it must be only me who wants a little less of a perfect poem. You know how I am about brevity. ;)
Close call.
But the simplisity of neonurotic got the edge.