Voices

the feeling in my heart
the voices in my head
they will not stop
they never stop
they are there when i drive
they are there when i shower
they are there when i am working
they bombard me when i try to sleep
i see faces when i close my eyes
i see bodies in motion when i close my eyes
i hear voices crying out to me when i am alone
i hear these same voices, even when i am in a crowd
the voices cry in pain, laughter, rage, happiness, lust, love, wanting, passion
needs, wants, desires, lust
there is a battle raging within me
will my head be victoriously?
will my heart be the one victoriously?
will they meet in the middle so neither loses
i want to listen to my heart
i need to listen to my head
i am not in control of either of them now
i know what i need
i know what i want
i know what i have
can i have it all?
can i live without any part?
can i ever be in control again?
i know what i desire to feel
i know what i want to hear
i am scared
scared if my head wins
scared if my heart wins
scared if i get carried away
scared that if i do get carried away, that i will never be able to get back
scared i will lose a friend
scared i will lose a lover
scared that i will get another
scared i will be found out
scared to lie
scared to tell the truth
scared that not knowing will drive me crazy
scared in knowing, that my heart will break
scared in knowing, that my heart will sail
scared to take the nest step
scared not to take the next step
scared
i wish someone would show me the way
it is dark and i am scared