Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereAnother wicked wave crashes
against a tower of
quiet determination
as the day’s sun
comes undone
Soft sighs and baby blues
watch crude castles crumble
in current’s blind eye.
Rainbow's Riven hands
pluck an olive branch
from submerged sand
Tomorrow peace may come
building another bastion
of wasted prayer
dreaming their castles
strung in illusion
following mournful coos
of now solo dove.
Lulling...rhythmic..The last verse, by far the best-- with a nice wrap up. A nit: period at the end of the first verse... the alliteration in the middle verses is good, but maybe too much of a good thing? I always feel with alliteration and rhyme (internal or end) puts a light song like feel to the poem, which can distract the reader from the deeper layers.
Very well done, Blue! Keep writing, the steps you are making are noticable and forward progressing. Thanks-
as
"Soft sighs and baby blues
watch crude castles crumble
in current’s blind eye."
This poem said so much more, but this is my kind poetry.
sand
Inspiring dreams, of heartstrings joy
... feeding through. Wanting to be
released from prisons ... imprisonment.
Joy to you my Friend. Love this
sad look at wasted Dreams on realities heart ...
I also have to say this. You have just painted,
one of the most sad/beautiful pictures
I have seen in a while. Just loved it.
~ Just Me ~
way that anything about your words were ever wasted,
as i can read clearly, and you hold the astonishing ability to create what mouths cannot say, and most cannot think... you take your reader beyond a point of knowing, into a thought that leaves behind an aspiration of visions with a grasp to get there... luv2theblue.......-sgp-