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Click hereI'm worried, she says
looking up at me as she fans the charcoal
under the blue enamel pot
we are making gunpowder tea
Mauritanian style
People keep telling me I'm fat
I have body image issues
I don't want to fall back into
I sigh.
Oh come on. Remember
here, it's a compliment
they mean you are beautiful
you haven't changed.
I would tell you
(of course I wouldn't, but that's not the point)
A month later she comes to visit
this time she peers at me from over a beer
So, the issue?
Your weight thing?
Oh, That's not a problem now.
I wake up in the morning
go to visit Mariama
and I say
ooooh I feel sick today
and she says
my God, it's true...you are so thin
you are all bones
and
The very next morning
I wake up
Go see Mariama
I stretch and flex my arms
walk with a swagger of the hips
Man, I feel strong today
and she says
My God, its true...you have a great fat ass
and you are beautiful
I can control what they say.
She smiles at me
Beautiful
and drinks down the beer
I read it, and I think I get it. No, she's not fat, and no, she's not thin.
Five.
and still do not "get it". So, are you fat or not? Is that the point? confusion?
Maybe this just isn't my style, vague and self deprecating. Keep writing, you will improve :)
Excellent! worth wading through the dross to find this nugget ... a well deserved 5
This is smart. It elicits a reaction and makes me examine why I come to believe the things I believe. The conversational tone of it is also very effective.
the best from you i've read, inasmuch as it's stripped of any excess, it engages from the off, it's clear clean imagery and intelligent point-making. i really like this one a lot.