Who Am I?

bynjoyjade©

Look at me, who am I?
my life has been one long lie.
Fooling myself and others too,
pretending to be what isn't true.

I am a clown with made up faces,
my painted on smile left no traces.
Outside I am happy, joyous and gleaming,
inside I am hurting, crying and pleading.

I never show true feelings at all,
going on with life; pretending to have a ball.
The whole world spins around in my head,
like a carousel's horses with their saddles of red.

This pain inside I cannot bear;
wondering "does anybody care?"
I was hoping, I would find;
just one person who liked to be kind.

Needed someone to cuddle and hold;
someone loving, protective and bold.
Maybe if, they could compose,
an answer to this question I've exposed.

"Who am I?" seems simple,
but is such a scare.
Where is the answer;
will it ever be there?

Many times I reached for a star,
who's beauty was so much;
It seemed to move too far away
stayed just out of touch.

I've waited so long;
counted every hour.
Now I know,
it's beyond my power.

Those who made it this way
do not worry.
They go on with life,
in such a hurry.

If ever they realize,
it will be too late.
I am already walking
through the open gate.

I hear the voices in the
language of death.
I look back and see
there is nothing left.

I stumble and fall at
the foot of the wall.
I see this person;
try to call.

They hear my question
and realize;
Their actions have caused
another's demise.

I look back,
as I descend.
Their new beginning,
has become my end.

!


Thank you PandoraGlitters for creating the October challenge.
My apology, again, for a rookie attempt at a ballad. I am, however, meeting one of your criteria's which was to submit for recommenders and feedback.

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