Words Coming Out of Me *No Revision

(No revision of the typos, for a reason)

wavess and ewaves of sorrow,
I cry of desparity,
understand this,
I'm afarid,
of what?
I don't know.

Cry,
cry,
for love and for happiness.
a monk in pain
can there be ever such thing.
Must be,
for I am one.
Fis of fry,
I wish,
I had kicked myself
as the weapon I so much learnt to master
through my hchest to the heart,
let it stop beating for one moment
so I can consciencely do something bad.
Hurt others
as they have to me, not knowingly
Have sex and sex
for the nymph I am
I know and have the feeling
that I will never find my dream girl,
the sexiness,
smartly inteligent,
playful,
cuddler,
cheerful,beautiful,
and a pymphomaniac as me,
will I find her,
I don't know...
I can't even lure anyone to fall for me,
how will I find the right one.
Many search fromone heart to another,
I'm afraid that I will be determined
the first person falls for me
is the right one.
How would I now if I had never searched?
Just felt pain and pain.
Jase Jase Jase...
I'm crying with tears,
searching.

Mother father,
no one I respect
I hate them,
not really.
I love them
They grew me up
but I hate them for building me
atleast for my mother
I don't have a real father...
I do but not around.
Dispair of not having a normal childhood.
never balance to assure me that I have a future,
Always been pushed around,
Even being an adult, I'm being adult.
nineteen years old...
yt I feel I'm 100
Depress can do that to you, to me
I walk I walk...
with cold shoulder
and head down
eyes closed
blindly
I walk this world alone.
Alone