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Click hereIt used to be Myrna Loy with taped eyes
and a slit silk skirt,
her smoky look like opium
drawing the unwary male
into a close room brocaded with sin.
Now Fah Lo See has turned tiger
and her children eat our children,
snarling joyfully in Mandarin
the pure thoughts of geometry,
their slim, prim little fingers perfectly
typing Little White Donkey,
typing Little White Donkey,
typing Little White Donkey
over and over again.
Yeah, I am creative with my comment titles. Some really nice turns of phrase (brocaded in sin got its praise, but smokey look like opium gets a thumbs up from me).
As a side note.... the Little White Donkey girl's last name is Rubenstein so I'm not sure if that changes the calculations at all.
I actually read the explanation before the poem don't know if that's a good or bad thing but whichever way I love this line 'into a close room brocaded with sin' akin to the wallpaper in Chinese restaurants
but fail to see why we should fear the modern Fah Lo See's. You make too much of Rohmer's insidious imagination, perhaps? How lovely to see Miss Loy remembered though:)
so this all makes sense to me (though I didn't know about Myrna Loy's taped eyes). I think what you've done is very clever because you seem to use every trick available to challenge the stereotypes (on all sides) in this poem. Words like "brocade" suggest images that further the theme even though they're not--on the surface of meaning--intended that way. (If that makes sense--it does to me.) And the ending is wonderfully ironic.
...you're so obSCURE! I do like this though - I actually love this line
"into a close room brocaded with sin."
"close" gives the sense of an steamy airless quality and brocade is such an oriental fabric also slightly sinful in an opulent way....perfect in this contest. It's not a stretch for me to see swathes of heavy brocade on the walls.
There has recently been some hand wringing in my country about Asian students taking all the top positions in Universities but they've all worked to earn it - ethics?
Tess
liked the off rhyme, rhyme; Myrna Loy.
1,2,3 and 4!
A little over the top and mincey
the pure thoughts of geometry,
their slim, prim little fingers perfectly
what next a poem about "the greater asia co-prosperity sphere"?
hahr, hahr, hahr, White devir
well 100
This simile feels weak to me 'her smoky look like opium'. I'm not sure where to take it though, 'her smoky look an opiate' ?
This also feels weak to me 'into a close room brocaded with sin.' Why would a room be brocaded? I'm not sure how to strengthen it but brocaded gives the impression of the room being decorated with sin when surely it would be inhabited, housing, containing or caging, giving the impression sin was a living entity housed in the room?
Liked it though.
my second googling expedition today. After I figured out the identity of Fah Lo See, I love the typing reference in the three repeated lines.