- Erotic Poetry
- You Mean
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Click hereThe world to me.
With your eyes of green,
And your hair of coal.
Oh, what a fire you burn in my soul.
I long for your touch.
I long for your deep loving kiss.
Oh, the fire that it sets.
It sets my skin tingling,
As your fingers trail tickling.
Your soft, warm lips,
Oh, the places that you kiss.
You bring me such delight,
Morning, noon and night.
I love sleeping within your protective embrace.
I love gazing at your adorable face.
I feel so safe when I’m with you.
I love everything you do.
You are my Rock…. My Salvation.
To be without you would be starvation.
I crave your loving.
I am forever in longing for your special loving.
I love you…
- COMMENTS
LeBrozalmost 19 years agoIt's pretty good, you show potential; since you're a new contributor, let me tell you what I saw. Consider the 4th stanza. Three times you say, "I love..." but it's a statement not imparting feeling.
"I love sleeping within your protective embrace" tells what you claim to feel, but little else - the feeling isn't imparted to the reader.
As an off the cuff suggestion, consider how different this feels:
"Sleeping within your warm, comforting embrace,
all the world's hard-edged troubles held at bay" imparts a feeling of protection (from a hard world) and a desire (warm, comforting) to be within the embrace.
Best wishes & good luck on your further writing.
