you wannna look past my eyes?

i am just as i have always been.
here,
speaking,
writing,
silent,
painting,
playing,
bored; and when i find a time to entertain my voice my mouth can't seem to move fast enough for my mind and i find that i interrupt my own words,

my tongue juggles with itself, and my thoughts come at me faster than i know what to do.
but i find that i am unmoved by my own annoyance, unlike a normal nuisance i don't get lost, instead i find that i fight to have words, sentences,
thoughts,
spill out of my mouth.
whether to fall on ears, to the air, or to spill on the floor,
there is always this match in my head and i am never in control of who will win.

my own thoughts overlap themselves as if one thought is fighting and winning over the others and then the other thought sucker punches the sentence that is in the lead and runs to get past my teeth only to fall when another thought kicks him in the back.

this goes on everyday,
every single second and every minute of my waking life.

i'm sure that even in sleep my thoughts don't quit - the race to be the first one through my lips as soon as my brain proccess that i am awake.

in the rumble to get out what i am feeling,
i worry that i will never let it all out,
and that i will stand alone in the center divide, silent in this freeway,
this interstate,
this highway behind my eyes.