tagTranssexuals & Crossdressers01, 02: Good Morning

01, 02: Good Morning

byCallidora©

A dim awareness of hair in my mouth. A pillow squashed under my cheek. There is lamp-light but sleep makes even the light seem dark. An arm stretching across me, heavy, a hot face, too hot, at my chest. But the rest of me is cold and I want to move but I don't move. I know I need to talk something out with this person on top of me but now it is too late, we are sleeping. There is a sick fear in my belly because of what we have done. Naked to the air, my little patch of pubic hair tugs on sore, sensitive skin, glued there by dried... semen. It is scary and wrong wrong wrong and if I weren't on the pill I would maybe be at the clinic right now, trying to prevent disaster. But I am and anyway I can't move. I need to move though, to get out from this red sickness. I'll move in a minute. She is touching me way too much and I need to get her away. I'll roll aside and stand up. That is what I will do next. Anytime now, I'll do it. She's too heavy, too much. Anytime now.

...

I am tugging the blanket up to my neck. The room feels cool. I can hear a wind from outside, but it's warm under the blanket. My companion, my Geena, is next to me. She is warm and soft and my arms want to hug and hold her. I feel a twinge of wrongness about this, being here with her, but I know it's not wrong, that's just memory from some other time. I'm confused, yet relaxed. It doesn't seem to matter why my roommate and I are in bed together, although I think maybe it will later. I push my arm out across her, under the blanket, finding her upper back and following its contour. I see her dark hair, just a silhouette in the dark room, (who was it that shut the lamps off, I don't know, I don't care) and it's really nice--I'm in bed, but not alone, how lucky I am to be here. I'd like to cuddle into her. She's tall and she'll make me feel safe. I'm naked but somehow that is okay. The world seems warm and open and good as I slide into Geena. I feel a little kinky buzz of anxiety because she is a girl, or basically a girl anyway (I'll think about this later), and her nude legs are so smooth and soft against mine. I don't know what she is, but it is exciting not to know. This is an adventure and I am giving myself to it.

Geena's arm resists a little as I pull it over me; and now she is alive and moving, hugging me back as I meld myself to her, pushing out of me a little sound of comfort. I nestle my face into her shoulder, loving her warmth, her size, the exciting forbidden softness of her chest. I shift, squeezing her more tightly. Geena squeezes me back, wrapping one of her legs around mine. Her t-shirt rumples between us. There, there is her penis on my pelvis, soft but undeniable. I can actually feel it inching across my skin as it stiffens. The strangeness and excitement of this push me awake a little more, and I get the giddy roller-coaster feeling again. I deeply need to know what happens next, and already my body is asking, pressing harder into Geena, begging to be surrounded by her. She responds in kind. Her shoulder has become taut under my chin. I open my legs to let her lower thigh through; my hips press on hers. This is good.

I feel lovely in this embrace, suspended in magic. I could lie like this for many hours. But Geena is still moving so I let her rock up into me; I slide my hand down over her butt to feel her push, to take part in the coiled urgency of her shifting muscles. Her cock head just reaches my nervous belly, and I think she wants to rub it on me. I try to help, but I'm drifting somehow. When she pushes I can do no more than accept her. Time flutters by; hazy impressions of warmth and pleasure and thrusting penis fade in and out of my awareness. I wish she would stop so we could just cuddle but at the same time I like how she is using me, how she desires me. I can almost sleep like this; for isolated moments I do. At some point I half-awaken to the sensation of a liquid squirting onto my belly, and at first I fear we will have to get up because Geena has wet the bed. But then I remember that she was humping me and I'm glad for her because she must have gotten off. It is still very strange, to think of this beautiful woman needing to empty her balls on me, but I'm too tired and cozy to mind about mysteries or about futures right now. I kiss her neck and fall back asleep.

...

I hear a bird at the window. There is light, and it is cool and friendly on my eyelids. My arm is wedged under me and my support--it's half-asleep, and that bothers me. My eyes open. I see stark contrast: white wall above, sliced by a clean arc of black-clothed breast. The other breast of that pair is pressing past my chin, and I marvel at this new experience, of waking up a lesbian... or whatever I am now. My arm nags at me but now my brain is recognizing that this is my lover supporting me, and the glow of being with her rises anew, superseding other concerns. Now, though, I'm awake enough to worry a bit as I nuzzle my cheek into Geena's boob, as I worm my upper arm further up between her shirt and her warm, bare side. What will become of this? Will she and I go out together? Will I want to hold her hand, to kiss her like I would a boyfriend, with other people watching? Will she want people to know we are a couple? Are we a couple? And--oh god I actually forgot for a moment--why, why, why does she have a penis? Each question dispels another portion of my languor and soon enough I am wiggling to reclaim my arms, hitching myself upward.

"Geena," I whisper to my roommate. "Geena wake up." I really need to talk to her. She doesn't move though. I think about tickling her but that would be mean. "Geeena." I mean to be serious, to let out my anxiety, but her face is so cute that I smile, even though her expression is basically neutral. Oh boy I'm turning goofy--I'm acting the way I do when I have a crush on somebody. "Geeeeeeeeena," I sing. I lay my head next to hers and breathe it into her ear. "Geeeeeeeeeeee, naaaaaa." Ahh it's fun to have a lover. But behind that I'm antsy, I need to know what I've gotten myself into. Love can be dangerous too and I haven't done it enough not to be afraid right now.

Geena shifts a bit but she still doesn't wake. I reach up without thinking and touch her face, exploring with my fingers what I had thought to be familiar as I wonder about the possibilities. Did she used to be a boy? She is big but not masculine; she passes easily amongst the women of our floor. Or did she change into a boy! But could a man-made penis be so much like an ordinary one? I have no idea. Maybe she was just born this way... maybe she is a hermaphrodite! Oh god I haven't even thought of that, it makes my heart skip. I sit up and look. Yes there is her penis, soft and delicate in the morning light, shrunken back into its bizarre sleeve of skin. So much skin, is it some deformity? No, wait, that is what they look like uncircumcised. Or is it? Where is my high school sex education teacher now? I feel foolish in my ignorance--were my past boyfriends circumcised? I want to touch this thing. After a moment I do. I lift it, poking my finger into the wrinkled tip, peering beneath the scrotum. No, no vagina there. I fondle Geena's balls, rolling them gently around. They are a little bit bigger than I expected. I recall now that Geena stretched me when she entered me--she is actually rather well-hung, at least according to my limited knowledge. I giggle nervously at the idea. It's scary, but sexy. How in the world has she hidden this thing for so long?

Geena's pale hips tilt under my curious fingers. I glance up to see her gazing back at me, and blush hard, feeling my hands change from explorers to intruders. I settle them on her thighs, away from her private parts.

"Hi," I say shyly. I can't read her expression.

"Hi," she replies. I wait for more but she just lies there as if frozen. I glance at my hands, and at her again. I really don't know what to say. But nobody else is taking charge.

I look down again, but that penis isn't going to say anything. I sit back a bit; my blush is fading. There's an itch on my arm. Geena quietly clears her throat. I look at her, suddenly made anxious by her stare. My boobs feel very naked, but I don't cover them, shouldn't have to. What is she thinking?

"Did you have a nice night?" I ask. It sounds so lame, the way I say it, but we need to talk.

"Yeah," says Geena. Another pause.

Something occurs to me. "I guess I know why you would never go swimming with me, huh?"

Geena's mouth, always curved faintly upward at the corners, curves a little more. "Yeah," she says, her tone a little higher, girlish. She still just watches me--confident Geena, frozen in her bed. Suddenly I think she looks vulnerable, and I am not scared anymore.

"I had the best night," I tell her, lying down beside her. "That was so special Geena." She has turned to face me but still she makes no move. Oh my god she is trembling!

"Honey are you okay?"

Geena bites her lip, glances down at her hand, which is clutching at the bedspread. She opens her mouth but no sound comes for a moment. "I don't... know," she says, struggling, and the tension slipping around her words makes it clear that she is about to lose control, this girl who I have never seen cry.

I am drawn to her instantly. "Oh baby it's alright, it's alright," I tell her and the tears come at the same moment, spreading between Geena's face and my breast, for I have automatically hugged her to me. "Don't cry honey, we're friends, it's okay!" She is sobbing, sharply against my chest, and with each gasping breath she pierces my heart more deeply. I'm torn by her pain, I want very badly to care for her. I find myself telling her I love her, that I'll never ever hurt her. The words rush out of me. I forget myself as I comfort her, saying whatever I can, supported by the long arms that wrap around me. Soon she cries herself out, leaving us tangled and hot and and mostly silent again.

I cradle her dark head, relieved--yet a little frightened at how easily I let myself hurt for my crying lover. Why should I feel so alive now, when someone else is unhappy? But maybe she feels better after all. It is good to let things out.

"All done?" I ask her gently. She sniffs and pulls back, nodding. Her face is red, but open now, relaxed. I stroke some of her hair out of her face, and she smiles a little.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I don't know how to act in this situation."

I laugh. "I can't say I blame you."

"I loved what we did," she tells me earnestly. "I... maybe you should know that I was a virgin. I mean, I never even let anybody see... I didn't mean for you to ever know. But I couldn't stop myself, you were so beautiful, and you're so nice and I just had to touch you. I don't think I ever could have stopped myself."

"I'm glad you didn't," I smile, floating on her compliments. On impulse I lean in, pausing for just a moment before her frazzled face, and kiss her. She blushes cutely.

Ah it's such fun. But I remember myself. "G you have to tell me though. Why do you have... that? How did you... I mean, what are you? I mean I like it! But you have to tell me! As your girlfriend, I command you!" I made her smile. Oh boy I think this means I really am her girlfriend now. And oh thank god I'm finally going to find this out.

Geena's composure returns, now that she has a specific task to perform. "There's not much to tell," she replies, her graceful features just a few inches from mine. "I've had it for as long as I can remember." She shifts, and puts her hand casually to my face, fixing my hair as I have done for her. "My parents told me I used to be a regular girl, and then I got sick, when I was very young, and after that it just grew."

"It just... grew?" This is too unreal. But what else would it have done!

"Yeah," continues Geena, "and they took me to the doctor and he said I appeared to be a 'perfectly healthy boy'." Her voice becomes sardonic as she mimics the doctor. "But then I got older and my boobs came and when I started high school everybody treated me like a girl. My boobs were big even then. So I just hid it." Geena was homeschooled until her teens, I knew this already. The rest is news to me obviously.

"But... what was it? Didn't the doctor know?"

"No, he just called it a fluke. Pretty big fluke, huh?" She traces a line across the bedsheet, frowning. "And he only examined me the one time. After that we never talked much about it--my family I mean. I, um... I used to hide porn sometimes, on our computer. I never knew which sex to look at. But I only ever masturbated until last night."

I am too puzzled to digest her sexual history just now. "But... Geena!" I exclaim. "Shouldn't somebody know what has happened to you? People pay big money for sex changes, and you just did it by accident! And what if it happens again? Will I be a lesbian?"

She giggles, clearly heartened by my continued suggestions that we are a couple. "I think it is pretty permanent by now. But I'll tell you if it starts to shrink."

I roll onto my back, overwhelmed by this reality now that we are talking about it and I have to really think about it. Shouldn't somebody know about this? Why wouldn't the doctor have... I don't know... told other doctors? Geena is from a rural area; maybe he was some incompetent country doctor, or maybe he valued people, and their quirks and their privacy, over medical science. Or maybe those are just silly stereotypes. I resolve to help Geena find out about her body, someday.

But first. "Hey you are lucky I am on the pill! Or... are you? Can you get somebody pregnant?"

"I don't know," answers Geena. "I always assumed so but it never seemed necessary to find out right away."

"Well you are going to have to learn about condoms," I assert, taking control of at least this one thing. "Or I guess we could get you tested somewhere. But I don't want any accidents."

Geena has a strange little smile on. "Does this mean... we're going to do it again?"

I blush, and smile back. "Well... yeah... I mean, if you want to. I mean... I want to." I stare for a moment into her hypnotic almond eyes. "I mean... you're really hot." I'm not exactly smiling any more.

Neither is Geena. She moves in, ever so slowly, and I wait with lips parted until she kisses me. Oh yum. It is delicious to go this slowly. And why does everything make sense again, now that we are touching instead of talking? Geena is confident now, and I let her take charge. Her hand closes over my breast; her tongue slips into my mouth. I feel her body aligning with mine, and I know she must be hard again.

I pull back for a breath. "Let's not go all the way now baby," I tell her, even though I kind of want to go all the way. "I need to shower first, you wore out my poor pussy." It feels so sexy to talk about my pussy with her.

"'kay," she says softly. Then her lips close on mine again and I'm lost in our makeout session. I rub her back, squeeze her bare butt, that damned t-shirt is in the way again. It's coming off. I pull it upward, feasting on Geena's neck, getting in my own way. Once it is off we kiss again, reaching for one another's breasts at the same time, smiling into one another's lips. Geena fills my hands with her feminine flesh, even as her rigid cock periodically bonks on my thighs. I don't really know what to do with her boobs; it's revolutionary enough, for me, just to touch them. Maybe I will suck on them later. But right now we are kissing, kissing, kissing. Mmmm this girl deserves a favor. I bring my upper hand down and find her shaft, grasping it firmly. Geena's breath escapes into my mouth.

"Ahh you like that? How does it feel baby?" Her organ slides through its own skin-sleeve within my grip, stretching the presumably nerve-rich skin tight around her glans. Geena pants and groans.

"Tina yes, it feels so goood," she moans. She's lost her hold on my lips. I'm in charge now. I nibble at her pretty eyebrows, ringing her nipple with my thumb, but my fingers around her cock remain still.

"Do you want me to jerk you off? Tell me what you want baby," I tease.

"Yeesss, please yes, jerk me off Tina," she groans, her penis twitching. I oblige. My hand slides forward, then back, and forward, then back, now bunching her skin over the lollipop head of her dick, and now stretching it far again. When it stretches all the way she gasps. I kiss and lick her lips, making her work to breathe over me, wanting to overwhelm her. Her fingers clutch my breasts, kneading them irregularly.

"I'm gonna stroke you 'til you shoot your girljuice all over me," I tell her, liking the control I have over her. She merely moans and thrusts her hips. "Cum for me, G, cum for your girlfriend." It's so crazy to be able to talk like that. And so hot.

Geena's penis is rock-hard; her breath is shallow and fierce. "Unhhh, ohhh yes, yesss..." she moans. Her hips ratchet and twist as she rhythmically penetrates the hand-pussy I have made for her. Then she shakes and squeaks, disrupting our pattern. "Uhh... uhhh... I love you Tina, I love you so much, ohhh god yesss!" she cries. My boobs hurt pleasantly in her squeezing grip. Her penis telescopes in and out, thrusting and jerking, and gobs of white cum begin to burst from it. I hold her, helping her cum, fulfilled within the context of this one sexual act but disquieted by her declaration of love. I feel solemn somehow in my horniness, as if I have been given something rare, girlcum and girl love all at once, and I hope I can accommodate it. I hope I am worthy of it. My thigh is dripping and still she lobs her sticky stuff at me, making my heavy thoughts seem silly. My moistened hand slips all over her dick as it finishes its spasms. I'm glad I made her cum again. She slows in her movement, and I kiss her hard, twisting my neck to find her face where she has hunched it over in her ecstasy.

Geena's lips are delicious, but limp--ahh what a guy she is. I giggle and pet her hair. Her eyes are closed; she is a disheveled, smiling mess. We are both panting, both sweaty. I hug her.

"I guess we're gonna go through a lot of sheets from now on," I tell her, and she looks at me and laughs.

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