A Big Shiny Blue Marble Ch. 49

Jonas smiled at the horizon for a moment, "I don't suppose that you came to every show to see me fight."

"No sir," Elliott said, "I mean, I enjoyed seeing you fight and all, but ... well ... "

He looked down in silence for a moment. "Those goblin women, what do they do with them in between shows? I don't know how to say it so's I don't look any more of a fool that I must already look to you, but I'd really like to meet them if I could."

Jonas tried not to look like he was enjoying this anywhere near as much as he was. "You don't look like a fool to me at all, Elliott," he smiled, "I guess I'd like to know why you're so interested and if you'd want to meet all three, or if it's only one that you'd really like to meet in person. Seems to me that you're coming an awful long way if you only want an autograph."

Elliott struggled over it for the next few miles, but Jonas finally got the answer to his question, though it looked as though young Elliott was going to screw himself into the ground in embarrassment long before then.

"Well, there's one of them, not the mountain queen one. One of her handmaidens," the young man said with difficulty, "Not the one that carries on with Sarah," he said, "Well, they all carry on with her. But the one I mean does that the least. She looks like the youngest of them and, ... well I ..."

"She's the one that you'd like to meet so much?" Jonas smiled, showing that his amusement was more from Elliott's struggles than anything else.

"Yessir," Elliott said quietly, "I know that I ain't much to look at to somebody like her, and she's probably got herself somebody anyhow, but she's the reason that I'm going there to live. I've never seen anybody like her and I guess I'm hoping that ... maybe one day ..."

Jonas sighed as he looked ahead and Elliott looked over as the large man spoke then, "I'm hoping that I'll get to hear this all before I get old and die, Elliott. Promise me that you won't faint if I tell you something?"

"Yessir, I mean no sir," Elliott stammered and Jonas reached over and laid his hand on the young man's arm, "Calm down, boy. Now, you say you went to see all of the shows one weekend? You saw what they do to me there?"

"Yeah," Elliott said, looking down, "I saw it. I couldn't help but watch and I was wishin' it was me there, but I know they'da killed me. I wanted to be the man that one got to have."

Jonas Bull looked serious for a moment as he spoke, "Well 'that one' has a name, friend, and if you want to have any chance to get to know her for longer than a very short and polite introduction, you'd best commit her name to memory – though I'm sure that there's no chance that you'd forget it somehow. I know which of them you mean."

Elliott looked over, "Is it hard to say?" he asked, "Would you teach it to me so's I can say it right to her one time?"

"Sure, Elliott," Jonas grinned, "Do you think that you're ready to hear it so you can begin to practice saying it in your private moments and maybe even your sleep, if you're hit as bad as I think you must be."

"Yessir," the polite Elliott T. Hopkins said as he turned and tried to listen intently.

"Her name's Lizzie," Jonas smiled.

"Lizzie?" Elliott stared, "You mean like in – "

"Yup," Jonas chuckled, "Like in Elisabeth. With a little luck, I can maybe help you meet her."

But Elliot hadn't heard that that part. Jonas looked over and he saw Elliott looking down a little as he said it, "Lizzie."

"Oh Murphy," Jonas said softly, shaking his head a little, "You sure have got it bad, haven't you?"

"Can she speak to me, or, ... is there some way that you can teach me the language that they use?"

Jonas laughed then, "Elliott, she speaks good old-fashioned English better than I do, and hold onto your saddle there for a minute, but she's really very charming and sweet. Sorry if I'm bursting your bubble for you if you need to meet a savage goblin girl.

Lizzie is a sweetheart and I can maybe get you a chance to meet her. You've got a bit of time to kill anyway, since you need to find a place to live and all. There won't be any shows for another three weeks now – plenty of time to get to know her, if that's what you really want. You want to make a good impression, then if I can do this for you, you'll need to bring her a bunch of snowbells. They're here favorite flower, and no, she doesn't eat them or anything."

----------------------------

Billy was a little startled to see Randi standing in the open doorway of the forge, calling out to him holding a pair of steaming mugs with spoons sticking out of them and doing her level best not to spill a drop while trying to keep her fingers from getting burned at the same time. When he got to the door, he found her inside, setting the mugs onto the large anvil.

"I brought you something to warm you up a little, though I know that busting wood like that keeps the chill off pretty good all by itself. I thought that you might want a break," she smiled.

Billy said his thanks, but she seemed to have a bit of a funny look on her face as well.

"I'm not wearing more than my usual for when I'm running around inside and with the fire here gone out a long time ago now, there's not much warmth from it."

She looked at him, "So before we have the hot soup that I brought, I'd like to stand inside your wings, if I could. I'm not a Tarkroth, but I'm pretty sure that I'd like to have been one, and I am a female. From what I know, you have to give me your warmth and protection if I ask for it – and I'm asking for it."

Billy looked at her a little strangely, but she ignored it as he changed his shape and brought his wings forward with a smile to offer what she'd asked for, though he was rather surprised.

"Jesus, he's a lot bigger like that," Sully whispered to himself as they watched from the doorway. He felt Narreth's arms around him. She was wearing the look of a proud mother.

Randi bowed just a little first, the way that Narreth had coached her and her words were far from perfect in their pronunciation, but she did try and Billy understood them.

"Randi Farber sees the Ch'arnn lord, Ayt'han," she said with a hopeful smile as she reached for him and felt his wings against her.

Billy smiled as he closed the circle of his wings around her and he nodded back, "I am no lord, but Ayt'han sees his friend Randi," he said in English as her clothing disappeared so that she could feel his fur against her.

Her hands were around his waist and she lifted one hand to poke his ribs gently. Billy flinched right away and Randi laughed a little, "You let me have my little daydreams, Billy, and you'll find that we'll get along a whole lot better, just telling you now, alright?"

"Alright," he smiled as she kissed him once and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I know that all of that's gone," she said, "but it's a nice thought to me to imagine that I found myself there in a place like that and I met you. I guess it would be a big stretch to hope that I'd even rate a look by the young king, though."

"You'd have to downgrade me in that daydream," he said quietly, "My mother is standing over there with Sully now and I can see that she likes us together, but back there in the Quarn of the of the king, she'd be standing on tradition like crazy because she'd have to, whether she liked you or not. I think that's the trouble with fairytales.

So I'd have to be the young lord who found you lost in the mountain passes and fell for you. That way, I'd only have to brave the disappointment of a family that I wasn't bringing back a Tarkroth bride, and not the royal family."

"Well, what if I was a Rohn?" she asked, "That would work, right? See? I have been listening to you."

He sighed and held her tighter, "That would work. Then you'd just have to pick me out of all of the hopefuls who came for you, and you'd only have to get the queen to like you, but my mother was never a snot in any way, and I get the feeling that you're already in her heart."

Narreth looked up at Sully, "I think that she will try now."

Sully shook his head, "I don't think so," he said, "Not yet. Human girls uses their heads a lot, and from what I see, she's not ready just yet, though I can see it in her."

Narreth let go of Sully, "That is good," she said, "As much as she has for him, it is too soon if she is not sure. And that she is not sure tells me that she has wisdom." She stepped away and began to walk to them.

As the former queen neared the pair, Randi opened her eyes and noticed her. She didn't understand what Narreth said in her quiet smiling tone, and she wondered about it as Narreth's hands went to her own throat. Billy gasped quietly as he saw what her intent was.

"Move your wings, Ayt'han," she smiled, "This girl seeks to know of us and our ways before they are forgotten. For one like her, I would do a great deal."

Randi looked surprised as Billy stepped back and Narreth went to her knees, "Surely this is a first among us," she chuckled, "that an old queen kneels to one who is not one of us yet has a want to be a little like us."

"What's she doing?" Randi asked, her nakedness forgotten in her surprise as Narreth continued to speak.

"She says that we are not where we once belonged, and so we must seek to belong where we are," Billy said with a surprised smile himself, "She says that we must accept with grace the honor that is shown to us by one who seeks to know of us."

Narreth reached out and gently pulled against the inside of Randi's thigh until Randi moved her foot to allow it as she continued to speak and her son translated for her.

"Where we were, none wore this clothing that she sees all around her. She understands the need for it in humans, but she says that there is no shame for you to be as we were when it suits – as long as it does not cause you to be ill from it, but you are missing one thing which says that you are marriageable.

A Tarkroth girl wears her wedding band before she marries. My mother says that she doesn't need her band anymore, but she'd be honored if you'd wear it if you want to be like one of us. It doesn't mean anything but that you're single and of age."

Randi stood still as Narreth strapped her wedding band onto Randi's calf just below the knee before she drew back her hands and stood up.

"She says that she sees a fine Tarkroth girl before her now, and if you want, she'll teach you anything that you'd care to learn, but that right now, you should get back to where it's warm for you."

Randi looked down at Narreth and she hugged her. As she drew back, Narreth kissed her cheek, and walked away with a warm smile to Sully as they left to go back.

Randi shivered a little as she reached for Billy again, "What, um, ... what just happened there?"

"The impossible," Billy laughed a little quietly, "My mother gave you a Tarkroth wedding band. It was hers when she was a single girl."

Randi thought about it for a moment, "But she had it around her neck."

He nodded, "Single females wear it on their legs. When they marry, it goes around their throats. Most always wear it there, but it's not necessary unless there are other males around who might not know that she's married. It saves a lot of misunderstandings."

Randi began to smile very slowly, "So, am I wrong, or did your mother just give me her blessing? ... You know, in case I was foolish enough to want to think about taking my little fairytale daydream to the next level?"

"Well," he laughed, "she must want something, and I'd say that you're pretty high up in her books. No Tarkroth queen has ever knelt before anyone as far as I know, except maybe to her king in a private moment.

I do know a couple of things. That she called you a Tarkroth was a high honor coming from her, and our queens were known to be pretty crafty. My mother was famous for a lot of things, and brokering peace or taking care of the less fortunate were just a couple of them. I'll have to be careful now; you've got yourself a pretty powerful friend in her."

Randi smiled to herself and then at him, "Come on, Billy. I don't know all that much about this stuff, but I do know that Lord Ayt'han's friend Randi Farber is just as hungry as he is, and our soup's getting cold."

As they ate, she found Billy looking at her now and then. She mentioned it and asked if there was something bothering him and he shook his head, but Randi knew that there was something. "Come on," she coaxed, "there is something. I want to know if it's something that I can help with."

He drew a breath and then let it out as he tried to think of how to say it. "I see how much you like what I am, and I ought to be really happy that you do. I just ... you said that you might want to go further with me and, ..."

His shoulders sagged then, "Randi, I could love you – I already do."

Randi set her mug down on the anvil again, "I guess this is where I get the news, whatever it is. Is this because I'm human or whatever Rudy turned me into?"

He shook his head, "No. It's about my life. Everything – everyone always gets taken from me. I had my life taken away when I was dumped here with Hank. That old prick back then loved to give me something and then come up with a reason why I couldn't or shouldn't have it and he'd take it away again.

We tried to get away, and it didn't stop. My parents, my friends, my brother, all of them. Bad things happen to anyone who gets a little close. Beyl'eth – "

He stopped then and walked away out into the wet snow which was falling. As Randi watched, the wind picked up for a moment and he disappeared as her sight of him was obscured by blowing snow. She wanted to run after him, but when the wind dropped off again, he was gone. She could hear him as he got back to work on the other side of the mountain of wood, she just couldn't see him. It was as though he was gone from her life.

She picked up the mugs and went into the house. She set the mugs into the sink and turned to go to her bedroom, but when she looked up, she found Rudhi there with Narreth and she found that she couldn't help the tears which came to her an instant later.

------------------------

Billy worked with a vengeance, angry with himself for allowing what had happened between him and Randi to even begin. He almost broke the saw and uncharacteristically for him, he threw it down and then went to splitting some of the wood that he'd cut because he wanted to hit something.

His first swing with the sledge hammer at the steel wedge that he set drove it through the wood and over two feet into the earth. He dropped the hammer and got to his knees to pull the wedge up and then he knew that he was beyond his ability to use implements as he saw the way that he'd peened over the end of the wedge with the force of the blow. He set everything aside and began to just pick up the sawn sections in his hands and rip them in two, throwing them into a rough pile that he intended to stack properly later as his angry tears ran.

Finally, he tore up the last section that he'd cut up and as he threw the pieces, one of them landed against another, smaller piece and the way that it had been lying until then caused it to flip into the air and hit him in the head.

Billy almost roared in blind rage and frustration then until he noticed that his mother stood there in Sully's shirt with another piece of wood in her small hand.

"What are you doing outside?" he asked, "You should be there back in the bed."

"I am here to see if you need another piece to knock your head with," she said, clearly looking annoyed with her son, "What sort of foolishness is this? You have lost much in your life, but I have lost more, and by a wide margin.

I lost my sons and my happiness left me that day. I lost my male later," she said her voice rising with the wind as it picked up from the emotion in her. She threw the wood down at his feet, where it didn't bounce, but only splashed his legs with mud as it was embedded in the soft earth and snow.

The wind picked up unnaturally and the two of them stood looking at each other in the maelstrom of her ire. Their long hair whipped around them as the wild wind buffeted them. Narreth's shirt flapped and fluttered so hard that she looked as though she might blow away any second.

"I lost my clan!" she shouted at him over the howling wind, "I lost all of my family! My people! I lost the very ones that I cared for – thousands of them! Rohn, Ch'arnn, Sheshlet, Morden'th, Shanh, all of them!

Seventeen clan chiefs I knew, male and female, and all of their mates. Over a hundred of their little ones, I knew. I knew all of their names, everything about them all. Over a hundred young Tarkroth who looked up at me and called me their Great Aunt Narreth. I see them in my dreams still. All of them dead. All of them! I lost my life and everything in it. I had no choice but to do as I did, and even so, to me, I am a queen who failed her people."

She was starting to cry herself as she went on, "I have lost my kinswoman, who helped me when I needed her after my passing. I held her when she was a babe. She was not only your mate, Ayt'han; she was my beyllix – my heart and the last hope of a murdered people. I am trapped in her body. How do you think that it feels to be where I do not belong?"

She stepped closer to him and she leveled her finger at him, "You tell yourself that you do not wish it, but you were to be king. Like it or not, that was your purpose for a race of people. A king knows when he must think of everything and not only his sadness, lest he lead those who follow to a foolish doom. Whether we are cursed somehow or not means nothing. We are not only Tarkroth. We were rulers, being made for the task.

Stop thinking of yourself. Like this, you are the same as Beyl'eth was and just as selfish. You have a right to your sadness, but you have no right to drag others into your darkness. You think to wander away and do what? How romantic the thought of the young and cursed king over no one as he wanders the land where he does not belong. The romance of the image fades as soon as he is out of sight.

We have found such wealth here for us, and we can give it to others because they love us in spite of what we are. Even I have found a male for me and in that home there sits a female who loves you and weeps because she thinks that now SHE is cursed and cannot win your love!

Until you can rule yourself, you cannot rule others. Even though there is no one to rule here, you are the last Tarkroth king, Ayt'han. A king needs to know when to give comfort and help and he must know above all when he is wrong.

Rule your own heart and then go and rule the one that she aches to offer to you. In doing that, surrender yours to her then and you will both be happy, for that is all that there is under everything else. The poorest male and female are the same in the darkness as the highest king and his queen as they cling to the one who cares for them and wishes for a little love. To do anything else proves me right and it is the most bitter argument to win for me. You are a fine male - in any way that you wish to appear. That one knows that. She sees the same one for her either way, and she has had her own sadness to live through."

She walked up as the wind of her anger fell away and she put her hand on his shoulder. "Show her that you are the king that she dreams of."

She walked away then and he was alone.

-----------------------

Randi was coming to the conclusion that she was now even more defective, somehow as she wiped her eyes and was about to get up and plan out some evening meal for the others that she wouldn't be eating with them. She didn't want to eat.

She didn't want to do anything anymore.

His touch amazed her when he came to her. Especially since she was in a room with a closed door, and that door hadn't opened. But she knew that it was him from the feel of his hand on her shoulder.