A Big Shiny Blue Marble Ch. 58

"I've had wine before," she nodded, "Cor and Sonja gave me some once and I know to only drink a little." She smiled, "I think I'd like that."

"Well good," Talon grinned a little, "but don't get your hopes up. I'm no great wine drinker and I don't know a good wine from old grape juice. The stuff that I've got won't exactly make you want to drink a lot of it – which is a good thing. I take it as a warning from the wine itself. I drank a lot of it one time to try to get blasted and it worked.

Then I barfed the rest of the night, so I know what I'm talking about. Let's just try to hold it at about a half-glass each. I think it might help the taste of my cooking that way."

She held up her hand in front of her face and he could see that she was trying to hide her little grin behind it. The gesture was actually a little cute on her and not as sticky and dumb as he was sure that it would have been if he'd done it. Then she lost it and began to laugh, and the sight of her teeth had a curious effect on Talon.

What was it about these lovely women and their teeth? He was about a hair's breadth away from having to cross his legs from it and if that happened, how the hell was he going to serve her the meal?

"I barfed too," she giggled and then she laughed again, "I thought I'd die."

When she's stopped laughing, they found themselves looking at each other for a rather long and quiet minute, but it wasn't the least bit awkward to either of them.

"How did you get here?" she asked, "I'm trying to figure out how someone like us came to be here and what went on here for you to want to come."

He shrugged, "Well I didn't want to come as you know. I became a toddler and this was where I was, that's all. Now they're all gone and I feel really stupid to have spent my whole life here to this point.

You've just said something, and I guess that it's just another one of those things that's making me a little nuts now. You said that I'm like you and I don't understand that or how I can see that you're so sure of it just from looking at your face."

She sat back a little then and it gave him a great view of those breasts – which he tried not to look at, knowing that he'd have to get up to stir the pot in a minute or so.

"I can see that the way that all of this went was just the wrong way to tell you things," she said, shaking her head after that, "So I'm going to say it the right way, so that you can understand, Talon."

She leaned forward again and reached for his arm, "Sonja didn't lie to you in anything that I heard her say – even when she was yelling at you out there.

My brother and sister really want to have kids in a little while. They told me about it and then we all talked. I love them so much and they were like parents to me because we were all on our own, just three kids with nobody. I've met a few half-demons who went through something like that, so I know that it was the same for them, having to hide what they were from the humans and feeling so alone in everything.

At first, I wanted to be another girl for my brother, but then I could see what they were thinking of and why they wanted another girl and not me."

She sighed, "I wanted to do it at first, but Cor is way too big for me. I mean, I play around with him once in a while because he's my brother and we love each other a lot. But I can't really do it with him without a lot of pain – or at least without it being uncomfortable so I don't try to convince him anymore because he doesn't want that either.

And they're right; we need new blood to mix with ours. They would have even taken a demon girl for it if they could have found one who could live with what we are. Sonja was looking for a half-breed like us, so that she'd be a little removed from her nature just like we are. But mostly girls don't want to share. I guess I could say that it shows that we're not just people who want to kill demons to eat. We don't even do it very often. Tonight was the first time that Sonja has done it in a long time.

We just want to get along, have kids and live like anybody else. It's just that underneath everything, we can do it and it comes naturally.

Sonja saw you by accident and she had a different idea. I heard about it from her and Cor. Sonja really likes you and she tried to talk Cor into agreeing. The way that she sees it, he'd have you and I'd have you too."

Talon stared at her, "No way. Katje that's not what I want. I mean, I'd want you more than I'd need to breathe, ... or sleep, or anything. I can't take being alone anymore – and I'm somebody who likes being alone."

He looked down, "Ok, try to forget that I said that. I've just realized that I must sound like about any other idiot, and that's not the way that I meant it to come out. But another guy, ..."

She looked confused, "But I saw what you did with her tonight. I saw what she did and you really liked that. I like that too, Talon."

Talon looked down at the table for a moment. He was wondering just exactly why he felt a need to be really forthcoming here, but it felt a little important to him. He found that he liked her more every second and not just because she was gorgeous. "Yeah, I like that, Katje. I really do."

He sighed then, feeling really, really weird to have to explain this. He looked up and then he felt better right away. Just looking into her eyes was helping him. "But beyond little fantasies when I, uh, fool with myself, I don't think that I actually want a man to fuck me. Actually, I don't even fantasize about being fucked by a man. It's more, ... "

He looked up at the ceiling, "God, I've only just met you and here I am telling you my darkest secrets."

He felt her hand on his arm and the way that she was dragging her thumb over his skin softly, "Talon," she whispered, "They're my fantasies too. I think about a man fucking me like that. As long as it's not somebody huge like my brother and as long as he's gentle with me, I think about it too, so if it's what you think you'd like, you can say it to me. We just met, but that's a safe secret with me."

He said nothing at first, but then he nodded and she smiled, "So we are the same, see? You know you're not all human and this quiet want is normal for us." She still kept her hand on his arm, but now she took his hand in hers and smiled.

"How do you mean, normal?" he asked in surprise.

"To us - and you're the only other one we've found - sex is just sex, unless you're trying to make young. We look for a mate, but there are no fences like there are with humans." She grinned a little, "Now it's me who feels awkward. I like males and females, mostly males, but I could never find one who wants what I want."

She smiled softly at him, "So if there's nobody else who understands Talon, there's me, Katje. I get it. Me.

Sonja told me about what you did with a toy. I've got lots of them and I do the same thing, well, besides a lot of other things," she giggled a little.

"Please go on? It's like I'm getting to know somebody that I can talk to. I've never had anybody like that."

He almost shook his head, but he didn't. "I used to have a girlfriend a couple of years ago. I didn't know any better I guess, and I just said the things that I felt were honest. She used those things against me whenever we argued about anything. If I didn't wash her clothes the right way, I'd hear about how I was just a fucking little queer within the first minute."

Katje shook her head, looking sad, "Talon, I've just met you and, ... well, things like that between people who are supposed to be close shouldn't be used as rocks to throw. I'd never do that and I don't even know you well yet. You and I are the same a little in what we'd like. That's not something to hurt somebody with."

He nodded and thanked her. "Anyway, I think that I'd need to know the guy really well and the sex would have to be well away from that for a good long while before I ever got the idea to let him try. But what about you?" he asked as he got up to stir the contents of the pot. The smell of it was already making him hungry again.

"What are you even doing here?"

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Please try not to laugh at me, Talon. They told me that Sonja found a beautiful male and she was sure that you were like us but didn't know it. I guess now that she was right, but I didn't believe it at the time. They told me that if I wanted a male for myself, that she'd found one for me – one that would make me happy. I thought it was funny. I didn't think there was such a person, but when I was alone afterward, I decided that I hate being alone now. I decided to come and see this wonder for myself."

She looked down in a little shame for admitting it, "When Cor left, he left marks for me to read so that I knew where to look. I guess he must have known that I would. All that it said was that he liked the one that he saw and that your name was Talon – which I think is a great name, you know."

"Thanks, I really like your name too," he said, "It's all my mother left me with – a piece of paper with my name. The priests looked for anyone named Caldwell, but they didn't find anyone. Go on, Katje."

"When I got here, I didn't know that Sonja was in here and I saw a bunch of demons hanging around the door. Mostly, they don't know what we are, but they can smell something wrong about us, I think. Usually, they're too dumb to stop and think much. It's not till you kill the first one that they know that something's wrong and they mostly get uncertain then. But by that time, it's usually too late because we're into it then and want to go on and kill them all."

"The killing rush? He asked and she nodded.

"Anyway, I saw them open the door and then you started shooting them and then I saw Sonja wipe out the last one. I was already close by and I wanted some too, but it was too late. I remembered that you weren't supposed to know about yourself somehow and I could see that when you two were at the dumpster. I just whipped in here to hang out under the ceiling and hide. I wanted to see about all of this. I wanted to try to get a good look at this male who was supposed to be for me."

She smirked and rolled her eyes then, "I came here to see that they were wrong about you and when I saw that you really are one of us, somehow, I could give you a little respect, but then she just dragged you in here to get nailed by you. I couldn't see it all that well because of where I was, not wanting Sonja to know I was there, but I saw that you were good for her. I know the signs in her, believe me.

But I didn't see how that was going to help me any. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I mean, from my side of it, here was 'THE MALE' for me. Can you imagine the way that it feels? To be told that like it was all said and done and you didn't find the person yourself? When you weren't even there? It's past absurd, Talon."

He got up then to stir again and she looked at him with the benefit of his not looking back. She liked his legs and his back. She smirked again as though she was going down a checklist.

Yup. Nice hair and I like how he's cut it, she said to herself. Nice touch, those bracelets; like he doesn't care – and I'd bet that he doesn't, either. They're just there because he likes wearing them. She saw his arms as he reached up to a shelf to get a bottle of wine. She saw the goods that he had and she wasn't sure, but it looked to her like he was fighting off what it had to be telling him that it wanted.

Looked pretty good to her, too, she thought, not too big. She was afraid of big. Didn't want it, no way. She wanted nice. What she was looking at, assuming that it wouldn't suddenly grow into what a pony had was ... really, really nice.

And then he stopped her cold as she stared.

Oh – that – ass. The flat-out sweetest ass that she'd ever seen on a male in her life.

Fuck, he was beautiful.

He was trying to get the cork out of the bottle when he looked up, "What? What's so funny?" He couldn't help it. She was making him smile too.

Katje laughed, "I'm supposed to shrug and say 'nothing' right here. I know it's in the 'How to Get a Man' manual someplace – must be, oh, about page one-fifty-six or so. I can't really read it anyway, and there aren't enough pictures.

But I was just looking at you. I'm an idiot, Talon.

I'm still stuck at 'DAMN...nATion!"

She laughed and Talon almost dropped the bottle which made them both laugh.

As he came to get his flightsuit off the table and set out the place settings, Katje said, "Anyway, so I was all set to just tell you that I didn't care what my sister said to you. You might be like us, but that didn't cut you any slack with me."

Talon looked over and he nodded, "Sounds fair to me. I can respect that, Katje."

She shook her head, "Well you shouldn't, Talon. I was up there watching when you sat down and started talking. I could even give you a few points when I'd heard it all, but I told myself that it didn't change anything.

Now?"

She looked over at him as he set the second half of the roast down and got ready to carve some slices off for them. He'd already divided up the veggies, giving her the larger share on the assumption that she hadn't eaten anything.

She reached out and grabbed his wrist to stop him. He looked at her in confusion and she smiled apologetically.

"Here's what I know, ok?"

He nodded cautiously and it made her feel a little more stupid. She stood up and moved to stand next to him. "What Sonja told you – what she showed you, do you believe it?"

He nodded cautiously, "I think that I'd like to deny it. But I was there and I felt it. I'd say that she's right. Why?"

"Good," Katje smiled, "because unless you believe it, your life could only get so much harder from now on. I heard her tell you that you've got wings ready to show. I've been looking and she's right about that too, though how they could have been there your whole life without being noticed by you before kind of blows my mind."

She ran her hand over his back in a few places, "Here," she said, "the carpial, and here," she moved her hand and he felt it on the opposite side, "the other one. They're like the elbows of the wing structure. There are wings in here, Talon. They'll come out when they're ready to, but I'd love it if I were with you when they do. I want to be the first one to see them and I'll help you dry them so that you can start using them."

"Um," he stumbled right then, wondering what she was saying and what he wanted to say, "Why, I guess?"

He felt her arm slip around his waist, "Because I've figured it out. I've tried with others, even human guys, and none of them were what I wanted.

And I know that I want, Talon. I know that I want and I know that a man who likes the same things that I do is as hard to find as girls like me, and even if the world was full of males who were just the right kind for me, I'd never find one who was even a little close to what I see in you. I watched you, remember? I almost fell to the floor when I saw what she did for you and how you liked it. That's the kind of male that I want."

She stepped back a little and put her hand on his shoulder because she needed to right then. "I'm not talking about it the way that Cor and especially Sonja do. I've struck out more times while just trying to have a friend, never mind anything closer. But I know that you'd be my friend, just like I know that they were right – you are somebody I could love – well, if I don't blow it by telling you all of this shit." She took her hand back and looked down, wanting suddenly to run away.

He saw her as she must have looked so often when she'd been a little kid and wanting to make a friend. It kind of twisted his heart a little.

"Hey," he whispered, "Please put your hand on my shoulder again. It's not something that I've ever had a lot of. I can hear you when you were a kid."

She looked up at him with a slight deer –in-the-headlight expression, "Y-you can?"

"Sure," he smiled, but then he looked at her hand by her side. "Your hand."

She moved it right back and she watched his soft smile then. "I know what you want. I'm saying that if you need to, you can lean on me too. I don't know about all of this, but I know I did it and I liked it. I want to believe you about the wings and I want it not to be true at the same time. But I believe in you, Katje. It feels good to have somebody to believe in in my situation."

She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him, but it only brought nervous laughter from them both when his gear took it all as a great sign and his body diverted the blood required to get him rock hard in record time. She backed away, giggling.

"Sorry," he said.

"Don't be," she sighed, "just put that knife down slowly and carefully, please. Most accidents happen in the home, you know. I don't know about carving knife incidents, but I'd rather not even think about it, not while I'm looking at something as nice as that."

Talon set the knife down, blushing furiously and she loved him for it.

"Hey, can I go on?" she asked and he nodded, "Anything to get my tiny brain off what it's –"

She smiled, "You haven't got a tiny brain."

"Yeah I do," he shrugged, "Not the one in my head. I mean the real tiny brain. The one upstairs still works and it's managing things like my shallow breathing and my nervous feeling and the red hot blush that I feel at what the one down there is doing."

"Ah, I get it," she nodded, "I'll see about making friends with that one too later."

Before he could withdraw inside of himself, she decided to lay it out for him. "I've got a couple of hopes in this, Talon.

I want you to be the first real friend I've ever had. I've been alone and you have too. Let's try to fix that, ok?"

When he nodded, she went on. "I think – not a hundred percent sure right now, but I THINK, that you and me can be what my sister and brother think, but if it's ok with you, I want to do it a little differently.

I think that this could work real well if we're careful. There aren't a lot of us around, so it has to – and we can't just fight when we disagree. We gotta work it out, right? That way, we both know what we've got to lose. I don't want to see you doing anything that you don't want to do, so I want to tell them to give us a little time.

I'll help you move into that - whatever you said, if you want to try this. Uh, You do want to, right?"

Talon nodded, "Yes, but how am I going to keep from saying stupid stuff? I think you're so much better than that and -"

"The same way that I'm going to," she smiled, "You think we'd be the first ones to do something as nutty as this? We'll just have to learn, that's all, and by the way, don't worry about Cor. I told you that Sonja didn't lie. Cor knew that might happen. I don't think he was crazy about the idea anyway, so I'm going to use that.

I'll also point out that I'm old enough to have a life and I want to have one with you because I want you like you want me and we're the same, except for a little plumbing.

Besides, I think I'm gonna need you all to myself anyway. Leave that roast for a second and come over here for a minute."

He groaned a little, "That's how I got to the dumpster."

"Nope," she grinned, "no dumpsters for us. Please sit down."

When he did, Katje sat on his leg carefully, not wanting to hit one of those funny nerves. She kept asking him if it was alright and when he was sure, she told him to put his arm around her.

She reached for the plates and poured all of the vegetables from her plate onto his.

"There's a little symbolism here, Talon. I'm telling you that I'm not going home tonight. I want to stay here with you and you'll have to let me guide this for us, ok?"

"Yeah," he said, "uh, sure."

"Ok," she smiled turning toward him a little, "You want a girlfriend, you can have me. I've never been one. I've just dated a little and spent all of the time almost killing guys that I suddenly found that I didn't want because they turned onto things with tentacles all of a sudden.