A Broken Family Ch. 03

I jerked awake panting, thinking what the hell. A squeeze to my boob had me realizing Alex had it in his grasp in his sleep. His head was pressed against the back of my neck, and my rational mind told me this was why I'd been dreaming what I had. "Shit," I whispered.

Alex gave a low moan in his sleep, shifting his hips and tightening his hand on my boob again. I closed my eyes again, trying to figure out if I could peel his hand off without waking him up and causing an awkward moment. I cautiously put my hand around his and tried to curl my fingers under his. He shifted again, pressing a leg in between mine and pulling me closer via the hand on my chest. I took a deep breath, told myself it was Alex, and tried to remove his hand again.

This time I was successful and was starting to smile as I laid his arm on my hip, when it pulled out of my grip. "Oh shit. I'm sorry, Holly." He pulled back from me and I didn't say anything. "Holly?" he whispered hesitantly.

"It's fine, Alex." I held out a hand behind me and it was a few seconds until he placed his hand in it, allowing me to pull his arm back around me. "Go back to sleep."

"I didn't mean to."

"I know. It's okay. Really, Alex." His arm seemed to relax around me, but he didn't touch me anywhere else. I scooted back until I could feel his chest against my back again and rubbed his hand. "Don't act weird about it and it'll be okay." He hugged me and I felt his breathing even out behind me, but found it impossible to do the same.

"You're an idiot," I said to myself and rubbed a hand down my face.

"I'm sorry." I jumped at his voice and held onto his arm as he started to roll away.

"I wasn't talking to you. I thought you were asleep. Go to sleep."

"You're insulting yourself instead of sleeping. Should I be worried?"

"Probably. Just go back to sleep."

"What's wrong?" I felt him prop himself up on his elbow to look down at me.

"Just an odd dream is all."

"Want to talk about it?"

I gave a half laugh. "No, I really really do not want to talk about it."

"Well I'm here if you need anything, Holls." He kissed the side of my head and lay back down. I made myself go to sleep this time, not wanting to talk to him anymore.

-

"Are you two getting up any time soon?" I heard JT's voice break into my sleeping mind.

"Go away," I groaned out and pressed my face into my pillow more to block out the lightness I was now aware of behind my eyelids.

"Now I really don't want to." I heard him unzipping the 'door'. "Hey Eli, bring me my phone."

Alex pulled away from me at that and I noticed his leg had found its way in between mine again. "JT, do you really want to pick on someone bigger than you?"

A smile came to my face at Alex's irritated tone and the silence it was met with. "I like the way this is going. JT, keep being yourself so that Eli and I can see you bested."

"That spider idea is sounding really nice, Holly."

"JT, get out of our tent," Alex demanded and a few seconds later the zipper sounded again.

"I might just kiss your ass from now on if you'll keep him in line."

Alex lay down behind me again and I turned in his arms to press my face against his chest to block out the light. "I'm not going to be your body guard."

"I'll love you forever."

"You better love me forever regardless."

"Fine, be that way." I leaned up and licked his neck before rolling away and going to crawl out of the tent.

"Did you just lick me?"

"Possibly. Have a nice sleep." I went to unzip the tent, but he pulled me back and rolled over on top of me to hold me down as he licked up the side of my face. I left my mouth open, appalled, and stared at him.

He just grinned down at me. "There's a reason JT doesn't mess with me, Holly. I'm the oldest. I'll best you at everything."

"Your slobber... It's... It's on my face."

"Yes it is. Anymore clarification?"

"Get it off me." I scrunched up my face as I could feel it getting cold on my face.

"Nah. I think I'll hold you here until it dries." I made my best about to cry face, but he shook his head. "You know that fake crying crap doesn't work on me, Holly."

"Actually it does. I've done it quite frequently over the years."

"Now I'm really not wiping it off."

"Please, Alex?" I tried to lean up to wipe my face on his shirt, but he held himself back. "You're a jerk. Come on. Please? I only licked a small spot, on a place most commonly licked. You licked up my entire cheek. That's not fair."

"If you think about it, your face is a commonly licked place. You lick your mouth."

"But not my cheek." He didn't say anything back, just kept holding me down and smiling at my cheek, waiting for it to dry. "Fine." I squirmed and his eyes widened right before I bucked up with enough force to roll us over. "Be nice and stay?" I pulled his shirt up to wipe my face, sitting on top of him.

"You're adorable in the morning. Your hair is all crazy and your eyes are a slightly brighter green." I dropped his shirt to look at him, tugging it down to cover the expanse of skin that had been uncovered.

I tilted my head and studied him. "You know, your eyes are a little brighter, too. Which is odd, because you don't really think of brown eyes being bright, but hey." He smiled at me and I felt him tug my shirt down from the back. "Your hair kinda looks like sex hair, too."

"Maybe that's why JT looks at me funny when he sees me in the mornings."

"Ooo my brother sneaks girls over in the middle of the night. Who knew we had to keep an eye on you?"

He reached a hand up to mess with my hair, but I leaned back to avoid it. His muscles tightened and he pulled me back upright. "The girl I like isn't in to being used like that."

"Is she a nun?" I asked sympathetically.

He laughed. "No, Holly, she's not a nun. Why would you ask me that?"

"Well. You're not stupid, ugly, or mean. You're responsible and loving and so obviously not a player. Why wouldn't she want a sexual relationship with you?"

"That's not all sex is about."

"Well how could she not love you? You're just all wrapped up in lovableness."

"That's not a word, and people don't always see the same types of love as the other person."

I frowned. "Are you stuck in the friend zone, Alex? Is that what it is?"

"No." He had an amused smile on his face.

"Then I just don't get what the problem is."

"Good, I don't want you to."

"If you're allowed to stick your nose in my sexual business, then I am allowed to help you with yours."

Alex ran a hand down his face. "Holly get off of me."

"Not until we get this figured out and I can help you get this girl wrapped around your finger."

"I can move you myself."

"But you won't because I can help and you want my help. Come on."

He took my hands into his. "Look, she and I just can't happen, okay? I came to terms with it already."

"Is she married? Is she underage?"

"No to both. She's beautiful and young, but of age."

"Alex," I sighed, "Just tell me who it is and I'll talk you up to her."

"I can't, and besides that, having my little sister talk me up to a woman isn't going to help me any. If anything, it would embarrass me. Keep that in mind for Eli."

"Look, Mister." I leaned over and braced my hands beside his head. "I'm trying to help you. Tell me who it is so I can make you happy and get you off my back long enough to find someone for me."

He lifted his head, but I didn't move back, wanting him to know I was serious. I wasn't ready for his hand behind my head that pushed me close enough that my lips met his. I tried pushing up, but he put an arm around my waist and held my head to his. His tongue pressed into my mouth and I protested, but it sounded like a bunch of unintelligible noises. Giving up, I closed my eyes and waited for him to finish kissing me. A couple seconds later he moved his head back and let both arms hold my waist against him.

"Alex, what the heck was that?" I frantically searched his face and tried to push up again.

"There's your answer." He kept his hold on me. "I'm not asking you to return the feelings, but please do not go telling your brothers about this."

"I won't. Let me up." He released me and I rolled off him.

"I won't do it again." I didn't say anything back as I crawled out of the tent and looked over at Eli and JT sitting at the table eating cereal like everything was normal.

"What's up?" Eli asked as I sat down and JT looked up at me. His eyes trained on my face and I looked down at the table.

"Nothing. I'm hungry."

-

"Have you ever had a dream about someone you really shouldn't dream about?" I asked Eli. We were swinging on the swing set and the other two were attempting fishing.

"Like who? A best friend's girl or like another guy?"

"Either. Just someone you shouldn't be thinking like that about."

"Sure. Tons of times. Why?"

"How do you make sure they don't come back?"

Eli jumped out of his swing and sat in front of me a ways away so he could see me, but not get kicked. "Who did you dream about?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Sure you can. We tell each other everything. I'm like a gay best friend as far as you're concerned."

I cracked a smile at that. "I really can't, Eli. I'm sorry."

"So then I'll guess. Was it Amy?"

I laughed and leaned back to look at the world upside down, my hair brushing the ground. "There's no way in hell I'd have a dream about a girl."

"So then was it that guy she likes?"

"Nah. I have higher standards. No offense to her, and he makes a great friend."

"Was it me?"

I sat up and my vision went fuzzy. "What the hell?"

"Well, I had to ask. My ego always likes a little boost."

"No. It was not you, Eli. Jesus..."

"What about the other two?"

"What?"

"Alex and JT. Was it one of them?"

"What is with you and the incest?" I slowed the swing and jumped a couple feet away from him.

"Well, you asked a strange question. I want to know who it is, so I'm going to throw out anything that fits under the category." I plopped down in front of him. "So... Was it one of them?"

"I'm not dignifying that with an answer." I dropped onto my back and looked up at the clouds.

"Oh man... It wasn't Drew. Tell me it wasn't Drew."

I laughed and looked at Eli as he held onto my knees and looked at me over them. "No. Although he has an incredible body, it was not Drew."

"Good." He sat back down and propped his chin on my knee. "Give me a hint?"

"I'm not telling you anything. Even if you guessed right I wouldn't tell you."

"You could've told me that before I started guessing!"

"I did. I told you I couldn't tell you."

"Why can't you?"

"They asked me not to say anything happened between us and having dreams about them would be a huge red flag."

He pondered over that for a while, watching my face. "I'm just going to think it's me and go on with my life."

"How does that not disgust you?" I returned my gaze to the sky.

"You're pretty. We have a very unconventional family. It happens."

"Holly! Eli! We're heading back! Alex and I caught big fish to cook!" Both of our heads popped up to see Alex carrying the fish and JT starting the truck.

-

"Does it taste bad?" Alex asked as I dipped my fish in ketchup for the fifteenth time without taking a bite.

"No, I'm just not all that hungry." I sat it down on my plate and took a drink of my water.

"You haven't eaten much all day," JT pointed out, watching me with a worried look in his eye.

"Are you feeling okay?" Eli asked from beside me, bumping his shoulder into mine.

"I'm fine. I just haven't been all that hungry today. I'm still kinda tired, though. I think I'm gonna go take a nap. Wake me up in about an hour, please?" I didn't wait for them to reply and got up.

-

I was shaken gently and I slowly opened my eyes to JT straddling me. "What are you doing?"

"You said to wake you up in about an hour. This is your wake up call." He grinned at me and my eyes caught on his piercings. I reached up a hand to touch them and he caught my wrist. "What?"

"Did they hurt?" He let go of my hand, knowing what I was talking about, and I lightly poked at them.

"Not really. I was told once they're not as bad as getting your nose pierced. Not that I have anything to go by." I smiled as he talked around my poking.

"What time is it?"

"Eight thirty-nine." He told me without looking at his watch.

"How do you know?"

"I don't. But you came in here at seven thirty-nine and Alex told me to come get you now that your hour is up, so it's my guess."

"You're silly." I pushed up onto my elbows, but he didn't move. "We staying in here for a while?"

"Depends, you promise to never play strip poker?"

"Not once I'm married. How else am I to keep my marriage fun?"

He tilted his head and I knew it was because he never thought about marriage. Why would he when he never had relationships that lasted longer than regular fucks for a couple of weeks. "I still don't want you doing that then."

"Well, you'll be in luck. He'll spank me afterwards and you won't even have to punish me." I lay back and smiled at the tent ceiling from my joke.

"He won't make it hurt."

"He'll try just like you do."

"What? Is your ass so big you can't feel anything? I'll settle for the backs of your thighs."

I looked at him. "Did you just call my butt big?" He didn't reply, just met my gaze. "I work hard to keep that thing toned, don't call it fat." I frowned. "And don't look at my ass."

He just looked at me a few more seconds. "That's what you got out of that. Really. And you three wonder why I recycle my girls daily. If I put up with a specific girl's single mindedness for too long I'd shoot myself."

"So how come you haven't?"

"What?"

"Well, you just said I was single-minded and you put up with me. So how come you haven't shot yourself from it?"

He rolled his eyes and started to get off me, but I pulled on his shirt to keep him in the tent. I immediately let go when he looked at my hand as I remembered my dream. "I just pick on you to stay sane. Eli is for fun."

"You should be nice to Eli."

"Or what? You may be his older sister, but you're still the little sister here."

I frowned at him. "I'll ask to sleep with him instead and you can put up with Alex's cuddling."

"Alex won't let you sleep in the same tent as Eli." His reply was automatic as if he was explaining something.

"Sure he will. Roll off and I'll show you." JT did as I said and I crawled out of the tent. Alex was setting up a fire and Eli was watching. I walked up behind Eli and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to sit back in his chair and rested my cheek on his head. "Alex, I dreamed JT was torturing Eli last night. Do you mind if just for tonight I share with him?"

Alex stood up from his crouch. "You can stay with JT."

"But he was the one doing the torturing." I lifted my head and brought one of my hands up to brush through Eli's hair. "Come on, don't you want to protect the youngest two from the demon child?"

"I haven't done anything to him all week aside from the marker. Chill out, Holly." I threw a dark look beside me as JT sat down in the next chair.

"You can stay with JT or with me. Those are your options."

I looked back at Alex, but he didn't have any expression. "Why?" He blinked but said nothing. "Why, Alex?"

"You two are too young to—"

"First you say we're too old to be sharing a bed, now we're too young for something? You really should stick with an adjective."

He kept his face clear but the slight tightening of his hand told me I was annoying him with my attitude. "I don't want to hear JT snore."

"I don't snore," JT dismissed, slumping in his chair and closing his eyes. Eli snorted and he looked over at him. "Got something to say, squirt?"

I stepped in between the two chairs. "Leave Eli alone. You snore. It's not something new. Your girls have told me this."

"Well Alex talks in his sleep. I don't want to sleep next to him either."

"Alex doesn't sleep talk."

"I used to have conversations with him when I was little. He talks; trust me, Holly."

I looked over at Alex who was looking at JT and doing the hand tightening thing again. "Do you just... start talking to him and he replies?" Alex moved his eyes to mine, flickering to Eli for a brief second.

"That's the general idea. It was amazing the things I found out about him. Too bad Mom never believed anything I found out."

"JT, shut up." He looked at his younger brother and JT opened his eyes to look at him.

"Did you guys ever hear about him making out with our cousin Bianca? She apparently asked him to teach her to kiss." JT wasn't smiling and I felt Eli shift beside me in the awkward moment that occurred right after he stopped talking.

"It's not nice to deliberately try to hurt him, JT." I looked down at Eli who was looking at my hand on his chair. "He's given you everything."

"I don't need your advice, Eli. Grow a pair and I might consider the things you say."

"What is your problem?" I turned my back to the other two and looked JT in the face. "You know what? Don't say anything." I took his arm from his lap. "Get your ass up and walk with me." He didn't make any move to disobey my request and walked behind me as we started on the rocky road. "What the hell is your problem? Eli is right; he's given up everything for us and the least you could be is grateful. You're acting like a child right now."

"What? Like you always do? I wasn't aware it was only your privilege." His footsteps stopped when I did and I turned around to look at him. "What did he do?" he asked as soon as I looked at him.

"He took us in when we—"

"That is not what I'm talking about, Holly Elizabeth." He jerked me forward and pulled down the collar of my shirt, checking both shoulders. "What did you two do this morning?"

"I don't know what you mean." I slapped at his hand as he started to pull the front of my collar down more.

"You know exactly what I mean." He took my wrists in his hands. "What did he try?"

"JT, stop." I tried twisting my wrists away, but he shook me, pinning my arms to my sides.

"I knew about it for a couple months, but he's acting differently today. Tell me what he did, Holly."

"It's none of your business."

He searched my eyes in the dim lighting. "You wanted it."

I jerked my hands away from him and pushed his chest. "Don't be gross."

He caught my hands as they pulled back and pulled me to him. "I always thought it would be Eli just like Alex."

My breath caught. "What is with you guys this week? Just leave me alone, JT. Nothing happened and you're making me uncomfortable."

His eyes flickered down to my hands in his. "You're not moving away."

I went to pull my hands back, but he pulled me closer and dropped them as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "JT, don't." I put my arms between us and pushed on him. I closed my eyes as he tightened his arms and dropped his head down to mine. I felt his breath and pushed on him again.

"What happened?"

"It's not any of your business, JT. You're not going to intimidate me into breaking a promise."

"He told you not to tell. Lovely."

"He asked me not to tell."

"Hmm." I felt him press his cheek against mine and whisper into my ear, "So if it's not a big deal, you won't mind letting me do the same."

"JT, stop." I opened my eyes and took his chin in my hand to push it away from my face. "Let go of me. Nothing will ever happen between me and any of you three." I reached my other hand down and peeled one of his arms from me. He got the hint and let go. "Now, can you control yourself and be nice to our brothers?"