A Chicago Love Story: Revelations

"Worried about me Jim, you don't have to worry about me anymore remember. I am no longer your concern right? I mean that seems to be the definition of divorce; no more my problem." I spew bitterly at the man with the nice tan to his face and neck, and gleam in his eye from obvious happiness. All the while I have to mentally list five reasons to get out of bed most mornings.

"Liz you know that isn't true. I will always care about you, no matter who you or I are involved with. You just seem to be acting a little strange lately; keeping odd company." He says appearing to honestly believe he is fooling the woman who knows him well enough to be able to read in between his subtle prodding.

Swallowing another drink of juice, I lift my hand up to stop him from continuing. I cannot deal with this right now. "I appreciate your concern for my well fare Jim, but you are the one with the great new life and loving fiancée'; I am not nor have I been seeing anyone since you left me. As far as my behavior goes, I highly doubt a couple of conversations over the phone the last few days is hardly sufficient Intel to gauge how am I acting as you put it.' I ramble out in what I know is an hurt, resentful, sarcastic, and aggravated tone, choosing not to even comment on the 'odd company' remark.

"But you know what, that is neither here nor there; you said you came here to give me something, I'll take that now, cause I have to get back to work." I say dismissively as I gesture to our waitress for the check and a container for my barely eaten muffin. I lift my purse onto my lap and search inside for my wallet to pay for our lunch.

I surprisingly feel his large warm hand settle over my own jittery ones and I lift my eyes to his face as he says, "It's okay, I've got it."

"Thank you." I say quietly and lower my eyes not wanting to fight about this as well; only wanting to end this conversation so I can find some place solitary to cry.

As I fidget with the shoulder strap of my purse, Sarah our waitress comes over and lays the check and a little cubed, clear plastic container on the table without a word before walking away probably sensing the tension between the two of us.

Jim sighs heavily at her exit and then begins to say, "Well, I have to apologize for my wording earlier since I seem to have mislead you to believe there was an actually item I had for you." I stare at him waiting for him to then reveal exactly what he has for me.

"What I have for you, to give you is a piece of information, news if you will." Again he stops short of the point, but I nervously sit and say nothing as he gathers himself to explain further.

After seconds of being the one with the wondering eyes, he finally meets mine with his small intelligent and suddenly pained grey ones and my blood runs cold with a clear certainty that I will definitely not like what he about to say. I tremble as I feel my already broken heart shatter into even further unrecognizable pieces before he even speaks.

Another chillingly deep sigh flows from him before he drops the proverbial hammer onto the final nail in the coffin holding my decaying spirit.

"Liz...Debbie's pregnant...we're gonna have a baby."

Chapter 3

I must have read over this patients' information three times now, yet I still could not even recall their name. I am just trying to get through the last half hour of work so I can go home and break down. I had managed to drag my shaking form back to the doctors office from the Cafe' and Jim before entering the restroom to splash cold water on my face and gather my frayed nerves.

Now I just feel numb to everything around me; almost like I am well and truly dead inside. It seems to have been a one up formula from Jim in terms of how to cause the most gut wrenching pain possible to Liz since he first announced his request for a dissolution of our marriage. At the time I could not imagine anything feeling worse than that declaration did.

Then came the agony of him actually removing both himself and nearly every single trace of him from the home we had made together. Though his informing me soon after, that he had become involved and fallen in love with a woman from his place of business was like a knife stab in the lungs forcing asphyxiation from my own blood.

Then there was this blow to my brittle psyche today. I stupidly thought that this would never happen; that he at least would indirectly stay true to me in this one aspect of our life together. For all those years I denied myself one of my greatest desires out of devotion for the man who slept in between my thighs. I loved him, and therefore was willing to give up anything to be with him.

My easy acquiescence to that stipulation has haunted me since I agreed to it and my only solace was that he would always remained unchanged on the subject; that I could believe him in that one promise to me.

Now he has taken even that away, there is just nothing left; it is as if the last fifteen years of my life have all been a lie.

The bastard has chosen to father a child by another woman.

Flashback

"My god that is so horrible, I just can't believe some one would or even could do that to a child." I say reading over an article in the Post about the neglect of children in a local daycare center, which parents previously had no clue about.

"I know; there are some truly terrible and unfeeling people in the world.' Was Jim's reply standing over by the stove finishing up the final touches of his first homemade dinner for me.

"Thankfully I never have to worry about those kinds of things." He continues on in his normal sure of himself tone.

"What do you mean by that?" Is my slightly bewildered reply, not totally sure where the conversation is now going, but feeling a little uneasy nevertheless.

"Well, I don't want kids; and never really planned on having any, so no worries about mistreatment of them by daycare centers or anyone else, right?" He drops this atomic bomb on my head seemingly unaware of the fallout it creates from the impact.

My whole world suddenly shrinks to the size of a walnut, and I am not sure if he is serious or not, but something inside of me is telling me that I have to make a choice here and now concerning this man who I have already given my heart to after a year of dating and the dream I have had since childhood.

The realization is clear, the revelation is simple, and my decision is immediate. The Dream does not die here, but I fear it will never recover from this mortal wound.

End flashback

I guess it never really was that he did not want children; just that he did not want them with me. I apparently was not worthy enough for him; I was not deemed an acceptable bearer of his seed. I have never felt so worthless and undesirable in my entire life.

A knock on the open door of patient room 7 where I currently am breaks my temporary trance and I look up to see Jessica the newest member of the staff here, a bright twenty year old MA standing in the doorway looking a little uncomfortable.

"Hey Jessica I'm sorry, my mind wandered a little just now; were you saying something?" I say pleasantly forcing a small and hopefully not too pathetic looking smile onto my face in order to put her at ease.

"Yes ma'am the next PT is ready to come back now. He was running a little late, and had to finish his paperwork as a new patient. Though he is the last one scheduled today thank goodness, 'cause I am exhausted." She responds in a controlled and professional manner.

I laugh at and in agreement with her candor; and I gain a greater level of respect for this young girl who appears to be poised well beyond her years.

"Also Dr. McDaniels wanted me to tell you that you would have to handle this one alone as he will be in a phone conference for the next hour or so. I could assist in you'd like of course." She says, sounding a little wishful for some odd reason; though I chalk it up to her drive for knowledge and experience.

"No, that is okay I should be alright; thank you for offer. So what are we doing today for Mr...?" I began to scan over the screen of my ASUS Tablet trying to locate the name of this last patient of the day that had eluded me a moment earlier.

"Haden," Jessica says before I can finish. "Mr. Alexander Haden, and he is here today for a complete physical. I will bring him back now." She ends her informative sentence and swiftly walks away and towards the front lobby completely oblivious to the load she had just delivered on my overwhelmed emotions.

Chapter 4

I am still sitting in the same exact spot moments later as I hear voices coming down the hallway towards me. Retrieving some of my wits, I tamper down my nerves and rise from the chair in the rear left corner of the room in order to appear capable and professional in front of the patient. Even though said patient is the same person I have tenuous lunch plans with tomorrow to discuss me possibly taking on an un-needed roommate.

Walking over and standing rigidly to the right of the entrance of the room, I take a deep breath and exhale it slowly in preparation to see him again. It is amazing to me that as terrible, and low I am still feeling from my earlier lunch with Jim, just the prospect of seeing this man Alex for the second time manages to awaken long thought dead emotions within me.

Thinking back to me answering my front door early last Monday morning completely naked save for my provocative bath robe and still damp from a pleasure filled, yet interrupted shower. My body shivers even now from the memory of how his dark eyes scanned over my displayed form with obvious appreciation; or the way his large frame just seemed to swallow up all the space around him wherever he was.

I actually become a little unbalanced on my feet as I recall the electric current that shot through my entire body at the contact of our contrasting hands.

Placing my hand on the doorknob to steady myself I straighten my back, lift my head high and poke out my chin as the two reach to the door.

"Here you are Mr. Haden room 7; you will be seeing nurse Sheering today." I hear Jessica's friendly, yet flirtatious voice directing Alex to the place where I am awaiting him; seems she is little smitten by the image he presents.

I guess that might explain some of her overt willingness to stand in on the examination of a few moments ago.

Suddenly a completely irrational though powerful feeling of possessive jealously storms through my being nearly threatening a violent response toward the supposed interloper on my territory.

My goodness, Cathy what in the HELL was THAT? What is going on with you, here you are trying not to slice open the soles of your feet on the shards of your shattered heart, yet you are subconsciously laying claim on a man you have only met once.

"Thank you and it was nice meeting you Jessica." Is his buttery reply to young MA right before stepping into the room and stopping before my demure gaze and stilling my heart for a dangerous few seconds with his tall frame and medium brown complexion.

"Ah Hi, you must be nurse Sheering." He recovers quicker than me and to my great relief gives nothing of our previous acquaintance away to Jessica before she eventually pulls the door closed and leaves us alone, and standing facing each other.

"Sooo, this is a pleasant surprise." He says in a low voice almost as if someone was listening on the other side of the door. I nearly melt on the spot from the sexy timbre of his deep velvety voice.

"Ye...yes it is; uhh how are you...it's good to see you again; wow this is really unexpected." I manage to say feeling a little ridiculous at my reaction seeing as I knew I would be meeting him already while he was just hit with the surprise. Sure it was only a minute or so notice, but still that a whole minute or two was more than he had to prepare to stand before one another again.

"Ha ha ha, yeah that it is. Well I guess you are a nurse then; good profession, do you enjoy it?" He has apparently regained his composure and is once again the confident person from our first encounter.

"Ah yes I do very much, thank you. Please if you will," I am coming quickly out of my stupor and gesture for him to have a seat up on the examination table positioned catty-corner in the rear right corner of the room and angled toward the door.

"So it seems you are looking to have a complete physical performed on you today, correct?" I ask wanting to get right down to business as I cast my eyes down on the Tablet and my hands clicking with the pencil like pointer on several boxes on the screen to pull up his uploaded charts from his previous primary care physician.

"Well in all honesty, whatever passes for standard is good with me.' He begins as I have a seat facing him on the low rolling doctor's stool, ready to begin the medical history portion of the assessment.

"I keep myself in pretty good shape, so this check up is merely a requirement of this new Life Insurance policy I have recently taken out. So the absolute minimum assessment should be just fine." Alex concludes in a very self assured northeastern accent.

"Very well then, let us start with a few questions about your medical history in order to see just what the minimum should be in your case shall we?" I state politely as I slide closer to him on the stool, and look up at his angled face.

"Okay that seems fair enough, ask away." He says in a surprisingly boyish tone as he leans back casually on the exam table, braced by his hands planted on the surface of the table behind his waist. Like in my den the other day he seems able to appear perfectly at home in any environment he is present in.

Shaking my head slightly from the comfortable and somewhat giddy feeling I am experiencing from merely his presence. I began to run off the usual family health history concern questions.

"Is there any history of mental illness in your family?"

"Well I did have an uncle who swore he was a former U.S. president; but I later found out that is was just a ruse to continue to collect a check from the government. Does that count?" He asks with a devilishly sexy smirk on his face from his playful remark.

"Well that depends Mr. Haden," I coyly reply intentionally baiting him while purposefully looking down at my Tablet awaiting his response.

"Depends on what exactly?" There is a little uncertainty and timidness in his voice possibly from wondering whether or not I am actually partaking in his banter.

"On whether or not he supported the woman's movement." Silence permeates the small room for the space of four seconds following my statement before a deep billowy laugh roars up out of his throat through his open mouth as he leans his head back to face the ceiling with his body shaking from the rambunctious laughter.

His laugh is masculine in pitch, and I find it to be quite infectious as I too almost immediately begin to laugh as well.

The next few minutes are filled by the two of us trying to cease our raucous outbursts and regain control of ourselves. We eventually obtain some success in that regard and the laughter transforms into light chuckles before he next speaks.

"No...no I actually don't think he came down on the side of the females on that particular topic, sorry." He spews out in between giggles.

"Oh well, then I would have to conclude that your uncle was most certainly insane, but I doubt his form of mental illness can be transferred genetically. It has since been diagnosed I believe, the clinical term for it is Male Chauvinism." I manage in a controlled tone; though my face does not hold up, and before I can continue I am once again besieged by his boisterous laughter; to which I once again quickly join in.

Chapter 5

We compose ourselves more swiftly this time; well enough to get through the discussion segment of the assessment, and after a battery of other simple yes or no questions are ready to move on to the next step in the examination.

"Well Mr. Haden, you definitely do not have many concerns for hereditary health issues, you also are not currently on any medications for high cholesterol, or blood pressure; and you appear to live a very active lifestyle. So I would say we are off to a very positive start. I at least don't have to use my stern voice on you about eating right and exercising more; 'cause I am really not found of that." I say still somewhat shocked at how relaxed and at ease I am around this man.

"No you do not since I try to remain in good health. I played sports in High School; and I liked the way my body felt being fit, so I have always made every effort to stay in shape." He says watching me with acute attentiveness as I slide myself away from him and over to the small counter space.

My mind strays back to his decidedly younger appearance and I am tempted to ask him just how long ago High School was for him; but I resist the urge.

"Okay well that is good, most people don't realize just how much better they would feel if they were in better physical condition." Is my reply while casting my eyes away from him in an effort not to notice just how good of shape he most definitely is in.

A few of minutes later I have given him positive feedback from his optical, oral, nasal, and internal and external ear tests. Now I am desperately trying to remain poised and continue the nurse/patient conversation as my body becomes more hyperaware of his physical presence by the second with his intense dark brown eyes following my every move with what looks like curious excitement.

The light and brief touches to his head and shoulder from the senses tests brought forth smaller sparks of the electrical current I had experienced at the clasping of our hands during the introductions the other day at my home.

"So now I am going to check your blood pressure and then take some blood to send off to the lab for testing, okay?"

"No problem," he answers as I enter the newest information into his file on the Tablet.

"So did you get the message I left on your phone yesterday evening?" He springs on me as I have stood from my seat and have my back to him as I am retrieving the Sphygmomanometer in order to perform a blood pressure test on him.

"Yes I did in fact, I listened to it this morning; it was my intention to call you back after work." I say turning around and moving toward him with equipment in hand.

"Well since we are here, may I ask what you make of my suggestion?" He says rolling the sleeve of his white dress shirt up and holding his left arm out for me already knowing the procedure for this test.

"Well, I guess since we are here...," I began to say before I am shocked into silence as my body quietly swoons once I have lightly taken a hold of his massive arm to position the cuff of the blood pressure reader in place.

I find myself staring doe eyed at the dark features of his handsome smiling face momentarily stunned by the ridiculously uncalled for twitching I feel deep inside of my heated core from the vibration of power emanating off of the bulging triceps muscle of his left arm. I would swear it was flexing against my palm merely from being so well defined, and not because he was initiating it.

Blinking furiously I clear my throat and force my now shaking hands to attach the cuff to his arm and start the inflation process of the device.

"Is something the matter?" His voice rings out loudly like rushing waves of ocean water in my ears startling me as I am focusing so hard on the task at hand, I had almost forgotten he was even present in the room.

"Umm, no, no, nothing is wrong, I just...," the beeping of the machine saves me from possibly embarrassing myself further and I pull the Velcro apart and remove the cuff from the impressive limb; trying not to touch his heated skin any further.