A Controlled Descent Ch. 07

"That all you got?" I say, unsure of the wisdom in baiting him.

"Shut up," he says, pushing back into my mouth and going to work.

That's when I feel hands on me. It's Jake. He's moved over on the couch and is running his hands over my dress along my hips and ass. It's a shock because for all my bad behavior, I've always been a one-on-one kind of girl. My first experience with two people was actually at the Kennedy Center with Robert and Linda, and a room full of men is a whole other thing. As the ramifications of the situation I've put myself in hit me, I feel fear for the first time. Probably should have been afraid a long time ago, but hey I got there eventually, didn't I? And the funny thing is, I like it. The fear. It sends a charge through me, and I wonder why I never tried this before. Why be used by one man when you can be used by all of them? Resolved, I reach back and hike up my dress.

That encourages Jake to get down behind me and grope my body more aggressively. His fingertips graze my pussy, and I moan into Trey's cock. My panties get yanked unceremoniously aside and fingers burrow into me. It causes my eyelids to flutter open, and I see a second cock hovering near my face. Without bothering to check who it's attached to, I catch some of my drool in my free hand and apply it to the newcomer. In a generous mood, Trey even loosens his grip on my hair so I can switch back and forth between them. Whoever it is, he's smaller than Trey, and I enjoy his groan when I take it all the way down.

All around me, I sense a flurry of activity. The sound of clothes being hurriedly stripped off. No one speaks. It's like they're all in a trance, or maybe they're afraid of spooking me. A third hard cock appears in my peripheral vision and now I'm trying to blow three men while also getting aggressively fingered. Not to make excuses, but I'm not used to focusing on two things at the same time much less four. Girls in porn make it look so easy, but of course porn isn't sex. I finally glance up to put faces with cocks. Turns out, it's Jake's cock in my mouth, Aidan in my left hand and Trey in my right. So who is fingering me, I wonder as a shudder runs through me. There's something blissfully degrading about not even knowing who it is penetrating you. It's so fucking impersonal. You're just an object, I think to myself and gurgle stupidly while Jake saws his cock in and out of my mouth.

Hands maul my body, squeezing my breasts and pinching my nipples as hard as they can. Trey peels my dress over my head, which gives me a moment to look around. Everyone is in some state of undress except Nathan who still hasn't moved from the doorway. He hasn't left the room though, which is interesting from little mister moral outrage. I force him to make eye contact until he looks away. Fuck you, I think as Trey lifts me into the air and sits down on the couch, so I can straddle him.

"Put it in," he instructs me.

Automatically, I reach between my legs and guide him into me. There's no condom, but I'm too far gone to care. Billy climbs up on the couch beside us and puts his cock in my mouth. I try unsuccessfully to bounce on Trey and suck Billy without hurting him with my teeth. Good fucking luck with that, and the best I can do is just open wide and let momentum carry me back and forth from cock to cock. Just a hole for them to share. It's a revelation. A level unlock, and the kind of emptiness I've always craved. Don't ask me to explain.

The whole situation is too much for Trey, and I feel his body tense. Rather than cumming though, he throws me off onto the couch and stalks away to collect himself. Before I can catch my breath though, hands grab hold of my hips and drag me up onto my knees. Whoever it is slams his cock into me causing my back to arch to be able to take it. Bring it, I think, bracing my hands against the couch and driving my ass back into them. Aidan comes around the far side of the couch and forces his way into my mouth and again I'm just being shuttled back and forth between two men. A line forms, and grudgingly Aidan taps out so someone else can have a turn with my face. I think the same is happening behind me, because whoever is fucking me now is really big and slaps my ass hard in time with his strokes.

It goes on like this for a while. It might be minutes or hours, I don't really have any conception of time anymore or who is using me at any given moment. They aren't men just cocks devoid of personality or soul. I begin to understand what a gangbang is really all about. It's not about feeling good. It's not even about sex. It's about survival. I am one. They are many, each bigger and stronger than me. When one man begins to tire, there is immediately another to take his place. There is no rest, no respite. I am a tiny sailboat in a hurricane. My sails are in tatters; steering is a fantasy. I go where the waves toss me and the goal, the entire point of this experience, is just to hang on for dear life. To endure. Fortunately that I know a thing or two about.

"Take her to the bedroom," orders Trey who appears to be the de facto ringleader now.

I stagger to my feet, nearly falling off the couch. My legs and knees are tight and cramping, and Trey catches me by the back of the neck, holding me upright and guiding me through the nearest door. He shoves me face first onto one of the queen beds where hands are quick to grab me and arrange me on my hands and knees like a doll. Someone is inside me immediately, and Conor lays down so he can use my mouth. My mind starts to drift away as men rotate among my holes. I don't want to disassociate, but it's hard not to flee to somewhere calm. That's cheating though, and I know it. I force myself back into the moment. Stay here, I berate myself. Don't hide from this. Own it.

Billy pulls out of my pussy and twists my head around by the hair, so he can cum on my face. He misses and most lands on the back of his hand or in my hair. That seems to disappoint him, and he wipes his hand off on my cheek then holds it out for me to lick clean. I do. I'm a good dog. Such a good little dog.

I'm so thirsty and try to ask for water, but Conor's cock fills my open mouth before I can get the words out. Someone nudges my knees apart and takes up where Billy left off. I wince. It's starting to hurt, and I'm not getting as wet anymore. Not really a surprise - I'm exhausted, dehydrated, and I've been drinking. There's really only so much a body can take, and I haven't had sex in months. I would kill for some lube. Of course there isn't any - this is a wedding not a porno. Not that I want it to stop. In a fucked-up way, it turns me on to have my needs so thoroughly disregarded. I've never felt more like nothing and feel an aching gratitude towards all of them. It's wonderfully awful, and I mean to finish what I started. I will endure, and the only way out is through.

The guys all switch places, and Aidan flips me onto my back and fucks me hard, my legs up on his shoulders. My clit is so sore, and his pelvic bone is angled so it smashes into it with each stroke. His face and chest glistens with sweat, which sprays down on me. As he gets close to cumming, he tries to pull out, but I lock my legs around him until he explodes inside me. No lube? Not to worry, I'll just make my own. I congratulate myself on being a clever slut although for a second I worry that no one will want Aidan's sloppy seconds. My concern is misplaced though as Jake lowers himself into me with zero hesitation. I'm still sore, but it feels good again for the moment. It also helps that he's gentler than Aidan, which gives me a chance to take a head count before my mouth gets filled again. With two down, the room is starting to thin out. Besides Jake and Trey, who is idly slapping his cock against my forehead and kneading my breasts like he's trying to pull one loose, there is only Dan Harris and Conor Davis left. It's a relief that Nathan is nowhere to be seen.

"Fuck me," I beg Jake. "Come on, fuck me."

It's the first words I've spoken since I first got down on my knees, and everyone seems surprised to hear my voice. I find that incredibly hot. Like my natural state is to just be this mute, pliable fucktoy for their use. I grab Jake's shoulders and raise my tired hips to meet his, repeating my plea over and over. It's enough to push him over the edge and with a grunt, he pulls out and crawls up my torso to unload on my face. I stick my tongue out the way I know he wants, and he doesn't miss, painting the right side of my face. His cum stings my eye, but I force myself to open it anyway. I want to see him.

"Yes!" Trey exclaims. "That's what I'm talking about. Look at that slut."

"Thank you," I manage and lean forward to suck the tip of Jake's cock until he shudders and pulls away, oversensitive and depleted. Now that he's done, I see a bloom of shame and regret cross his face. What are you Jake, I think. What the fuck are you? I find the hangdog way he stumbles out of the room immensely satisfying. He doesn't come back.

No one offers me a towel, and I wouldn't take it if they did.

Three to go now and the only way out is through.

Dan lays down on the bed and pulls me on top of him. I assume he's had a turn already, but this is the first time that I know for certain that he's fucked me. I always really liked him, and I kind of wish it was just the two of us. From the look on his face I can tell Dan thinks the same and for the first time I feel a little sad. In another life, I would have flirted with Dan at the reception tomorrow and gotten at least one slow dance with him. Instead, I'm fucking him covered in other men's cum. Who am I kidding anyway? I'm not the kind of girl men dance with at weddings. As if to prove the point, Trey and Conor climb up on the bed and stand on either side of Dan, waiting to be serviced. I ignore them and put my hands on Dan's chest, grinding down on him. Our eyes meet, and he smiles an indecipherable smile. I grin back and for an instant it's just him and me. Our dance. The only one we'll ever have. It's romantic in its way. And yes, I know how pathetic that sounds.

"Can you cum with me?" he asks.

I nod happily that I can. "Just tell me when."

"Now," he says and his back arches, head pressed back into the mattress.

I let out a cry and begin to shake. It looks very convincing, and Dan will never know the difference. Sweet Dan. I wish he could have the real thing, but at least I can give him a beautiful lie. I fall forward nuzzling against his neck, careful to point the cum-covered side of my face away. No need to ruin the moment. He puts his arms around me, still fucking me until his erection subsides. We both lie still. I want to kiss him so badly, but our dance is over. Our eyes meet. There's something he wants to say, something I want to hear, but Trey and Conor are right there, and so the moment passes. Rolling off, I'm met immediately by Conor who climbs between my legs and starts fucking me like I owe him money. Dan gives my hand a last squeeze and slips quietly off the bed. Trey follows him to the bedroom door where they talk for a moment. I'll wonder for years what was said.

"You going to be a good slut?" Conor asks, twisting and pulling my nipples as Trey locks the door behind Dan.

I yelp and promise to be. Playtime is over; it's just me and them now.

Trey comes back to the bed and lies beside me while Conor fucks me. He wraps a hand around my throat. Choking was always a very big thing with Trey; I remember that now. My arms lie limply at my sides, and I make no attempt to fight him. He slowly tightens his grip until my vision begins to turn to static then lets go long enough for me to take a deep breath before starting again. Over and over, he leads me to edge of unconsciousness. It's euphoric out there on the verge of annihilation.

"Hey, where's the lube?" Conor asks. "She's getting dry."

I still have enough brain cells left to appreciate that they had lube this whole time. Of course they fucking did.

"Thank you," I croak. "I'm so sore."

"It's not for your pussy, whore," Trey says and pats my cheek.

Right, I remember that, too. Anal was very, very big with Trey.

Reaching into the top drawer of the end table, he produces a bottle and squirts a generous amount onto my clit. Conor keeps up his relentless tempo. The lube feels ice cold, and I track it as a river runs down my pussy and between the crack of my ass. Conor removes his cock, rubbing it in the puddle of lube. Lifting me up, Trey slides a pillow under my ass as Conor pushes my knees towards my chin, folding me in half. He has to hold them back for me because I'm too weak to do it myself. It's been quite some time since I've been fucked in the ass. This would hurt a lot even if they were gentle, and I know they won't be. The only way out is through.

Trey holds up a cautioning hand to Conor then looks me in the eye. "Ask."

"What if I don't?" I challenge.

"Don't be stupid, of course you will."

That actually makes me laugh. He's right though, and I give up the pretense. "Fine. Fuck my ass."

"Oh, you can do better than that," Trey says.

"Please," I say, giving Trey my biggest doe eyes. "Please fuck my ass."

Trey grins and nods to Conor who presses his cockhead against my opening until the pressure forces it to give way. I try vainly to relax my body, but the pain is intense. I let out a wail and my hands flail at Conor, trying to push him off me. I don't actually want him to stop; it's just my body going into fight or flight mode, trying to protect itself since I'm too stupid to try.

"Hold me down," I tell Trey. "Shut me the fuck up."

He gives me a funny look before clamping a hand over my mouth and pinning my hands over my head. It's fucking hot how easy it is for him. Conor keeps working himself in, stretching me out. Thank god, he's not as big as Trey. Under different circumstances, I really love anal. They have no interest in my enjoying it though. To be fair, I have no interest in enjoying it either. My pleasure isn't why any of us is here.

By the time Conor is all the way inside me, the pain has diminished to the point that I no longer need to scream.

Trey uncovers my mouth. "What do you say?"

"Thank you," I say, fighting the urge to bite him.

"Thank you what?"

"Thank you for fucking my ass."

"What are you?"

"I'm a whore," I say. "What are you, motherfucker?"

He doesn't care for that question at all and wraps his hand back around my throat while Conor rails my ass. The fact that I don't remember if I lose consciousness is a sign that I probably do. All I know is that I'm just floating along like an idiot balloon, untethered and alone. I'm being fucked by two men, but I'm totally, totally alone. It's magical.

Trey takes his hand off my throat and slaps my face. "Still with us, whore?"

I can only nod feebly and for the first time tonight I think of Jack. His slaps are infinitely better although I can't in that moment say way.

"Good. Time for the grand finale," Trey says and taps Conor on the shoulder.

Conor pulls out of my ass and rolls onto his back, pulling me onto him. I don't have the strength left to do anything but follow where he leads. He puts his dick into my pussy and holds my head to his shoulder. His hands reposition my knees, pulling them forward, so that I'm lying flat against his chest with his shaft buried inside me. That's when I feel Trey move around behind me and squirt more lube down the crack of my ass.

"I can't. I can't. I can't," I cry in a panic, realizing what he means to do.

Trey signals for Conor to stop. "You saying no? You quitting on us?"

I look back at him. There's no mercy on his face just the question.

"Well?" he asks.

"I've never..."

"Then leave," he says and moves out of my way.

I look over at the door. It's right there. All I have to do is get up and leave. That's what any sane person would do, and I know Trey will let me go. This is how he is. He's an evil bastard, but he's too smart to jail over me.

"Well?" he repeats when I don't move.

"I can do it," I say.

Trey nods. "No more fucking whining either."

"I promise."

He climbs behind me again, stroking himself. "Been thinking about this a long time, Mac."

Then he shoves his cock into my ass and my world breaks.

Sexuality is a such a strange chicken and the egg thing. I couldn't count how many times I've masturbated to DP porn. It's definitely something I've fantasize about since I was a kid, but is that only because I saw it in porn first? Would taking a cock in my pussy and ass have ever occurred to me otherwise? I realize now that I was only turned on by the concept. I certainly didn't want to try because of how it felt, because I had no idea how it would feel. How could I? It's unknowable until you experience it. The best word I can give is full. I feel so fucking full. Stretched. Opened up in a way I never considered possible. I only wish someone was still here to fuck my throat.

At first, Conor lies still while Trey fucks my ass. That I can mostly take and rest my head on Conor's shoulder, whimpering quietly. But then Conor joins in, and I part ways with my sanity. I feel both their cocks inside me, pressed together against the thin wall that separates them, fighting for position. It's so much. So, so much. I don't even know that it feels good, but I know I need it. From far away, I hear myself babbling but not in a language I understand. At first, they are thrusting together, battering my holes in unison. But then they take up an alternating rhythm, one in, one out, so that I'm always full and always empty at the same time. My entire body quivers like I'm having a seizure. It's not an orgasm, but that's what they choose to believe and congratulate each other heartily.

Conor is the first to cum, grunting and slamming into me again and again. My relief is overwhelming. One down, one to go. I'm almost there now. Conor puts an arm around my neck and holds me down, whispering what a whore I am while Trey destroys what's left of me. I beg him to cum inside me. I tell him how much I need it. Anything I can think of to make him finish.

"Am I a fucking man now, bitch?" he demands, cumming with a roar before I can answer.

I collapse onto Conor like a marathon runner crossing the finish line. Conor isn't in the mood to cuddle though and pushes me off him. He gets up from the bed and disappears into the bathroom to run the shower. I curl into a fetal position and when my eyes open, Trey is holding out a bottle of water. I take it gratefully.

"I'll be in DC next month," he says. "We should get together."

"I think I'm good," I pant.

"That's what you always say."

"Mean it this time."

"Sure you do," he says. "Now get out."

This was the way it was in college and probably my favorite part of fucking Trey. The callous dismissal. My purpose served, he never wasted any time getting rid of me. It was so dehumanizing, and I loved it. I love it now, too, and climb shakily to my feet. Cum is already running down my legs from both holes. At the door, I look back at Trey.

"What?" he asks. Fucking me hasn't mellowed him in the slightest. He's still a prick.

"Nice try."

The look on his face makes the whole ordeal worthwhile. I shut the door on him as he begins to curse me out. I don't care. The only way out was through, and I am through.

Or so I think. Nathan is sitting in an armchair. He says nothing and just watches me search around for my clothes. Warily, I grab my purse and shoes from under the couch and find my dress in a ball against the far wall where Trey threw it. My panties appear to have disappeared. Maybe one lucky boy took them as a memento, anyway I don't want them badly enough to keep looking. Pulling my dress on, I look over at Nathan questioningly. Has he been lurking out here, waiting to fuck me last? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious about the dick that could make a slut like Aliyah see the light.