A Gray Area Ch. 08

"I don't give a shit if your boyfriend knows I'm here. And I know he isn't because your car is gone. We have bigger problems thought, Caden. Come with me?" he grabbed her wrist, attempting to drag her with him but she pulled back her arm quickly. "If this is your ploy for us to become secret lovers or something, it ends here."

"Kitten, your mom is in the hospital." The words were stated plainly and she was sure the whole complex could hear. A silence wafted between them but the words lingered in Caden's head. She felt dizzy all of a sudden. Sick to her stomach.

"What?" she whispered.

"Your mom is in the hospital." He spoke the words slower the second time. Clearer.

"Why? What happened?"

"I'm not sure. Deity has been calling you off the hook. She is on the way there with Shane. I came to pick you up." His hazel eyes held a concern for her that she hadn't seen in so long. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked ready to grab her if her legs gave out. He gently reached for her elbow nudging her along. Her gray eyes held nothing but shock in them. He knew what she was thinking. 'I just saw her last night. She was fine—drunk, but fine.' She shut the door behind her, not even bothering to lock it or grab a jacket and followed him down the stairs to his car.

He got in beside her and risked a glance. She was pressing buttons on her expensive phone then put it to her ear. A few seconds later she cursed, took the phone from her ear, pressed another button then did the same thing all over.

"Deity is probably already at the hospital." Jon stated, hoping that was whom she was really calling. They had pulled out of the parking lot and he was trying his best not to look at her. He was now starting to realize how small his car was. She was right there. He could reach over and move the strand of hair that played on her forehead. But he didn't.

"I'm not calling my sister," she informed. "I'm trying to call Jason. He is working late and I think this classifies as an emergency. He can get off work now."

Jon turned a corner then glanced at her. "Working late, huh?" From his peripherals he could see she was looking at him. Her eyes examining him. She got the hint that he was dropping. "Yeah, working late." She dialed a few more buttons. This time Jon could here that someone actually did pick up.

He heard a few rushed words like "Stop" and "baby."

Caden even got a few in by saying. "Jason, My mom is in the hospital." Jason said a few and by the look on her face upon taking the phone from her ear, it was obvious he had hung up on her. She looked at the phone as if it had punched her in the face. Hard. Jon didn't want to ask but he had to.

"What did he say?" He cringed at how loud he sounded in the small confines of the car.

"Not...Nothing. He's busy."

When he stopped at a stoplight, he turned to look at her just because he had too. Her voice sounded so fragile. "Its funny," she whispered, settling deeper into her seat. "How people can always say something. They can say it, and say it, and say it, but when push comes to shove.... they never follow up." When she looked at him, he thought his heart would explode. The hurt was like a neon sign in her eyes. "I love you has so many meanings and connotations. It means 'I care about you, I need you, I want you, I'll be here for you, your everything to me.' But some people just don't get it. Some people just say it because they know that's what's gonna get them what they want. And people like me...we're just to dumb we can't discern the difference between the lovers and the liars."

Green light. Jon stepped on the gas a bit to hard making the car jerk. 'Way to ruin the moment, dumb ass' he criticized himself. "I don't think it's that you're dumb and you can't tell the difference. I think it's that people like you...People like us—we just put too much faith in those three words. Anyone that says that to us we automatically put our trust in them. We need to learn to discern the difference between the lovers, who really mean all those things when they say I love you, and the liars, that say it because they know we will hop into bed with them or buy them whatever they want."

They pulled up to the hospital, finding a parking spot easily and walked in. Down by the E.R., Collin, Shane and Deity waited. Deity's normally pale face was red with tears. Caden went straight to her. "Shh, baby. It's all right. She'll be fine."

"No, she won't. What if they can't find anything wrong with her? What if we she has something incurable and they cant do anything for her?" Caden wrapped her arms tightly around her sister, rubbing her back. "No, sweetie, don't say that. Its nothing," She pulled her sister away to look directly into her eyes. "Its nothing. Ma probably just had too much to drink. You know her." Deity was sobbing but she nodded. C.K. looked at Shane and he took over, wrapping his arms around the young girl. As she walked away, she heard his cajoling whispers to her.

"Has anyone said anything yet?" she approached Collin who looked shaken. She rubbed a comforting hand up and down his forearm. He shook his head. "She hasn't been in there that long so no one knows." Caden knew how he felt. Candice Winter was like a mother to him. When they were younger, he had run to Caden's mom whenever something went wrong at his home. He would be as crushed as the rest of them if something were to happen.

She glanced at Jon who sat down, his mouth resting on his fist. He was deep in thought. His hazel eyes looked glazed over and gone. She had loved that conversation she had with him. When he used to sneak into her room they would talk about those things. Love and life and art and souls. Things that, now that they were older, no longer had time to think about. He looked up at her and she realized she had been staring but he stared right back.

Then he smiled. Not a full tooth smile. A half mouthed smile. An 'everything is going to be all right' smile. She smiled right back. At that moment she felt all her barriers crash down around her. Everything that she had erected in Jon's way had failed. He had gotten right back to where he was supposed to be with her. Close. The thought scared her beyond belief and yet eased her stomach that had been churning dangerously. She wanted to see where they would go. She wanted to walk the dangerous line with him just to see how she would turn out in the end.

A heavy sob brought her out of her reverie. She was in a hospital. Hell. She hated hospitals. Hospitals were where people died. Where people's fathers were taken in for observation and carried out for funeral preparations. She didn't want Ma to die. She wouldn't be able to handle it. This was all too familiar and she felt her windpipe tightening at the similarities.

She tapped a passing nurse on the shoulder. "Excuse me, miss. Where is the bathroom?" The nurse pointed to the end of the hallway where a large, blue ladies sign was painted on the wall. Caden made her way there and was thankful no one else was inside. It smelled but she ignored it as she went into a stall. She had barely locked the door when the tears began to fall freely and she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Not again," she whispered. "Please, not again," She didn't care if someone came in. Even if Deity did. She needed these tears to flow. Her eyes had been bloated with water. She cried for everything.

Jason. Her mom. Her dad. Her emotions. Her sister.

She stayed curled up in the stall, crying, for thirty minutes before returning to her friends, taking a chair next to Jon and drifting off to sleep.