A Heart's Tender Tribute

I had known Jake from the day he reported in to the squadron out on Ford Island back in January 1940. He was a singular kind of guy. Friendly and open, he could chat about most anything and was very knowledgeable, yet he did not talk about shallow or pointless things. His mind was always working, and it showed, both socially and on the job. All the chiefs thought him to be one of their very best radiomen. He got many of the plum assignments, and not because he was a goody-two-shoes, but because he was alert, professional, learned quickly, and worked hard.

In my mind, they were two peas in a pod, Jake and his Kit, meant just for each other. Let me tell you a few of their experiences together.

-- --

"Why do you stay with them?" he asked her gently.

They had met for only the second time, a group rendezvous on Waikiki. The two of them had left the smoke filled Waikiki lounge where they had been sitting with the others after meeting that Friday evening. It was much quieter on the verandah in the balmy evening air under the palm trees. The girls had been in Hawaii but a few days. He had invited her for a walk outside, and now they sat together at the little table with their fruit juice, neither sure what to say to the other.

"You're not happy with them... and you're not at all like them." It seemed very obvious to him that she was much different from the other three. "Why do you stay?"

His questions seemed very pointed, she thought, yet not unkind. In fact, she had been wondering herself, though she could not have phrased it quite so directly. His question made her a little uneasy mostly because she liked him, and in the group's association, it was only his conversation that interested her at all. The other three sailors were boisterous and colorful, but rather loud and arrogant, and even a little crude... well, in her evaluation, a lot crude. She knew, for instance, from Red's comments, that Dean very much wanted to "get into her pants," as she had heard her say, and was thinking that would be really fun and that she might let him. Kathrine didn't understand a girl being so offhand about something that to her was special and much more private.

Why did she stay with them? It was a question she had been asking herself.

"Money, I guess," she responded, trying to be casual. "We all chip in to make the rent less; and then I don't really know anybody else on the island." That was about as much sense as she could make of her own indecision. At that point things were still all very new, and this was only the second time the four of them had met up with the four sailors from Pearl Harbor.

The experience of simply striking off on her own, breaking with her past, was not unknown, but she was still rebuilding her own self confidence after the major break away from her family just weeks before, and now from her job as well. Finding her way was still very much a pioneering effort and leaving the three other girls seemed not very practical.

Jake Nielsen was, in relation to the other three fellows, not unlike Kathrine. He did not feel he belonged with the other three, who were both in their career path in the navy as well as in their personal inclinations very much different. They were all shipboard sailors; Zeke Matthews was a real heller on liberty and a very savvy boatswains mate on his destroyer; Willie 'Guns' Martin, a hard drinking, sleek-talking, self-styled ladies man, was a gunners mate on a battleship, then, lastly, Dean 'Screws' Hubbard was a machinist mate, a real whiz mechanically and a diesel engine specialist on another battlewagon. In striking contrast, Jake was a radioman with an aircrew specialist rating in the navy's big patrol flying boats.

Most striking to Kathrine, and she picked this out easily, though the four girls had little more that a couple hours association with the four sailors, was that he spoke like a rational human being, discussed things with her, listened to her responses and ideas. He had a year's university work behind him and wanted more, and he was the only one of the four that did not make her feel a little uneasy. He was something like her one older brother, kind and gentle, and very strong. The hurtful image of the Mexican girl kept getting in the way, and she didn't know how to deal with that. Just the same, Jake Nielsen was a friendly personality and she kind of liked him, a little.

And now she wasn't at all sure where the conversation would take them.

"Sure, money is part of it. Apartments are expensive." He was thinking to himself of options for her that might be helpful. He knew Ken Waterman's girl had an apartment in Pearl City and was looking for another girl to share it with her for just that reason. He better ask Ken about that before saying anything to her. He'd met Kelani a couple of times, and the idea seemed practical to him. "There are other possibilities out there, though."

When it occurred to him that she might understand that comment as suggestive, he was afraid to look up at her. What could he say now? Finally, in desperation he added another comment, "There are some people at the air station that are up on such things. I'll check and let you know." That sounded inoffensive enough, he hoped, and smiled at her.

She wasn't sure what to say at first, and then just settled on "OK." That sounded neutral enough not to get her into hot water.

"Air station?" The fellows used so many terms and words that were new to her, it felt almost as if they somehow spoke a different language. In the calmer evening quiet on the verandah she ventured to ask, almost without thinking, about what he meant.

He looked up at her, hearing not just her question but also her simple inquiry into a world foreign to her. Without being able to judge it fully, he thought she was unwinding a little with him.

"The naval air station on Ford Island is where the Fleet's aircraft base, not just the planes from the carriers, the aircraft carriers when they're in port, but also the big flying boats. I am assigned to a patrol squadron and used to fly as a radioman in the crew, but now I am rotating into a slot at the radio station ashore for a month or so. The other guys are in the ships in the harbor. They go to sea but don't fly... I fly sometimes but don't go to sea." He chuckled at the arbitrariness of it. "Same navy."

He thought her immeasurably beautiful in the brief twilight at sunset and the lighted tiki torches around the verandah. Her facial features were delicate and expressive, her eyes full of character, and her long hair flowing down over her shoulders. He could sense that she held herself in a very tight control, and in the fast-paced banter with the others around the table earlier she had seemed a little lost. She hadn't spoken but a couple of words of greeting.

They both felt like they were only on the shirttails of the others. Now, very much on a whim this evening, Jake had invited her to go for a walk with him, away from the others. The laughter and merriment in the dark, smoky lounge had receded as he drew her across the verandah to the little table. He had noticed that she had been hesitant to order at first, but when he ordered a guava juice on ice, she had said she would like one of those too.

It pleased her that he didn't drink liquor, and she had noticed. In her mind, remembering the farm hands, liquor seemed always to lead to dangerous situations.

Their casual talk to get acquainted drew them onward, and they left their empty glasses on the table. She was a little hesitant as he led her down the path between the palms, along the beach for a stretch, and out onto the little pier for the boats in the marina.

He just walked, not hurried and not evidently going anywhere, she didn't think, but just walking. They couldn't go very far, she could see that it was not a long pier. She was about to question him when he suggested they sit for a moment on the little bench at the end of the pier. His voice was quiet and not demanding. She felt uneasy, unsure of herself, but not threatened at all, and even a little excited at the solitude and pleasant evening. Gingerly she sat down on the edge of the bench, a little anxious, wondering.

"I come out here sometimes to just watch the sunset. It's quite impressive." The sun had been down for several minutes and the last bright streaks of vivid color in the sky were fading, and he felt his comment would sound a little phony.

"I've never brought a girl out here with me." How lame, he chastised himself.

She thought his statement sounded sweet and kind, and made her feel special. She had no idea what to do, nor what he might expect of her now. She waited to see, on the edge of the bench, almost holding her breath, still anxious, and with her hands folded in her lap.

"I would like it," he started out slowly, "if we could get together without the others... just do something together on our own." He was trying to be more open with her, but words came slowly and he was not sure himself what he wanted. He liked her, liked her very much, but what could he do now? She was acting like a skittish colt ready to bolt at the slightest provocation, he could feel it.

"Well, for one, at the Rialto in Pearl City," oh, yes, he thought to himself, a splendid idea, "they're playing Gone with the Wind, the hit movie. Have you seen it? Everyone says it's great," turning to her in his excitement. "Have you?"

Kathrine had been to the movie show just five times in her entire life. Three times on the ship with the girls, and twice back home, once with her brothers and once with her school class... never, she realized suddenly, alone with a man. In a flash she saw it clearly. Jake was neither one of her brothers nor one of the boys back in school. He was a man, several years older than she was, and, she was quite sure, very much more experienced in things. The sight of that Mexican girl coming out of the office that day flashed through her mind again. Why? Was she afraid of him? Is that what he wanted too? Could she trust him? She wasn't sure.

But, no, she hadn't seen the movie and, when he looked at her in the soft light, she nodded her head and smiled at him.

She didn't know why he should be so quiet, because he sat there without a word for what seemed to her like the longest time.

"The number 14 bus stops in front of the library near your place. We could meet there and take the 14 to Pearl City. It stops just a block from the theater.

"Also, there is a very nice little Chinese restaurant near there where I go by myself sometimes for a nice dinner in a quiet place. Do you like Chinese food, Kathrine?

She felt herself on very thin ice, afraid both to go forward and then, afraid not to. She'd never had Chinese food before, though she knew they had served it one evening on the ship. She had been timid and there had been so many new things that she had just avoided it for the refuge of their room. Now what should she do?

"And afterward I'll bring you back home again. Would that be OK?"

His asking her so gently helped her a great deal. She couldn't seem to find her voice at all. She had wanted to see that movie since forever, and the chance to be together like that now began to be something exciting and delightful to her. And how would Chinese food taste?

"That would be wonderful, Jake. Thank you very much." Kathrine was by inclination a polite girl and as the excitement took over her hesitation dissolved.

"What about Friday evening? Meet me at 5 o'clock?" His voice was very much lightened by her acceptance.

She too felt the easing of the tension, and therewith, her curiosity began to rise. "Chinese food? I've never had Chinese food, Jake. Tell me something, please," in her excitement she forgot to be shy, "about what I should expect."

Done! She had said 'yes,' he thought to himself. He leaned against the back of the bench and sighed, a great sigh of satisfaction that he had been able to arrange such a date with this beautiful girl. Why that should be so very difficult troubled him a little. He was not usually so completely tongue-tied. At her asking so sweetly, he was thinking about Chinese food now, trying to find something suave and intelligent to say to her. He managed a couple of details about vegetables and spicy sauces and noodles, and she smiled at him in response.

Her smile made his day.

He wasn't pushy or arrogant, and that helped her feel at ease. His words about the food made it sound exotic and delicious. She did not realize that his reserve with her softened her trepidation.

With that simple step it seemed as if the dam burst. Conversation hindered by anxiety was deregulated, and the next hour passed quickly as they exchanged a hodgepodge of introductory fragments about first one then the other... home, work, school, interests, family, friends, hobbies, and whatever. Then, and almost without warning, the chatter concluded and silence reigned again. He thought about the evening and what all had transpired, and realized that earlier they had left the others before they themselves had ordered dinner and eaten.

"Kathrine," he turned to her, concerned, "we didn't really have dinner before. Are you hungry?"

Virtually as he spoke she felt the emptiness in her tummy and, relaxed and pleased to be with him now, nodded her head innocently and smiled at him.

"My dear young lady," his heart alight at her smile, he tried to make his tone playfully formal, "would you join me for a pleasant seafood dinner on the verandah?" He presumed that he would get another sweet smile and nod.

He was correct, to his great pleasure.

Their course decided, he stood and offered his hand to help her rise, then his arm for hers.

The resulting bodily contact was like an earthquake. She rose, stepped to his side, and slipped her arm through his, and her motion swept the bare mass of his muscled right bicep past her left breast. The bolt of electricity shocked both of them.

She could not help but gasp and she knew he noticed. It seemed to her as were her knees about to buckle beneath her. Jake slipped his right arm about her waist and held her to him, feeling his own body reacting to the intensity of their physical contact. She felt herself rendered almost senseless by the jolt, but warmed and secure with his arm about her. She laid her head on his shoulder to hide from him her deep blush, and for the first time in her life Katharine felt the sensory thrill of a man's thoughtful and gently supportive embrace.

He was so very conscious of his own heart pounding in his chest at the thrill of holding her he could not have had more than cursory awareness of her reaction to him. After a few moments, wanting not to embarrass her in the least, he kissed her on the top of her head lightly, enjoying the delicate fragrance of her hair, stroked her shoulder appreciatively, and then turned them once again toward dinner.

Jake walked slowly, casually, as if he had not a care in the world, which for the moment he did not. That was fine with Katharine, though she did not really notice. She just hugged his arm and rested her head on his shoulder, oblivious to all else. Shyness and reserve overcome, she basked in the afterglow of the moment and the company of the man who treated her so nicely.

It did not bother her at all that he did not seem to want to go back to the others. When he led her down the beach in the other direction to another place along the beachfront, an outside table by a tiki torch, she thought it very romantic and was pleased with their continuing chat.

He suggested grilled Mahi Mahi, and she agreed, trusting his judgment, though she had no idea whatever as to what he had ordered for them. She found the fish delectable and exotic, thanked him sweetly for his choice, and then they found they could laugh together, enjoying and relaxing in each other's company.

She thought his silly jokes clever, and listened to his deep voice. He told her he liked her beautiful hair, long and glistening in the ribbon she wore, and that she had the most expressive and pretty eyes he had ever seen.

These polite and positive exchanges added substantially to her quite limited fund of encouraging experience with men, and his company delighted her.

It was late when he said good night to her at her door. The evening had been more fun, she thought to herself, than any before, ever. On the sofa, one of the other girls was deeply involved with one of the fellows. It was Red maybe, she thought, and she left the light off and disappeared quickly into the bedroom she shared with Tony.

She thought again of the first question he had asked her that evening, felt the tingle in her entire being at his invitation to go with him to the movie, and then welcomed the slumber that came after a time.

-- --

So, that's the background and the lead up to the point where I started with Kathrine's crying out her hurt in his arms. They had enjoyed their date, the movie and the dinner went very well, and some two weeks had passed and a lot of changes had been made.

Caroline and I, together with Ken and Kelani and Jake and Katharine, had enjoyed a date together and another movie and our association seemed destined for good things. The three girls struck up a friendship with their very first words. Kelani asked Kathrine to move in with her, and within days Kathrine had even found a new job at the Pearl City branch library working the evening shift five days a week. Jake and I both had the evening watch, and, delighted with her new place, Kathrine had invited him over for lunch.

For her to invite him to her new apartment was a significant step for her. His company comforted and calmed her, even as it excited her. He was kind and easy going, always a gentleman, and she enjoyed their talks. She was beginning to sense deep inside that she was very lonely and even a little frightened at being so very much on her own in the world. His way with her was a constant reassurance, and she felt strengthened by his companionship.

When he came he brought a fresh pineapple and a quart of guava juice. Wonderful, she thought. Then he worked with her in the little kitchenette on lunch, showing her how the Hawaiians cut up a pineapple, and even then helping clean up. He presented her with the image of a man altogether outside her experience, and one that stirred up little fires of excitement deep inside her that were new and thrilling, and, she thought, just a little scary.

It was after lunch that they sat on the sofa and she began to tell him about the argument with the other girls when she left... and then suddenly the hurt overwhelmed her and she broke down in tears. That surprised her probably as much as it did him; surprised her that they came at all and that she would feel so safe in his arms.

And she did feel safe with him.

His comment about her was a surprise as well, and the distinction he saw in the use of words set him apart from the others... all the others, all the other men and boys in her experience. He had been very sweet in his expression, and when she thanked him, she wasn't sure what else she could say. It felt nice that he would just pull her down again into his arms.

Holding her, he could not help the irresistible urge to kiss her. So, wanting to be a gentleman, he asked her.

Since no boy had ever kissed her, and only if she tried hard could she remember her father's casual peck on her cheek, she looked up into his grey eyes, her breathing already uncertain, and nodded shyly, thinking herself to be on the brink of something wonderful.

She was.

He wanted not to hurry this at all. She was, he felt, way too beautiful to hurry a kiss... their first kiss. With his finger he touched her eyebrow and lightly swept some of her long hair from her face, and she felt in his tender touch each millimeter of his progress over her cheek to her ear and then down to the nape of her neck. He seemed to pause there, and then she figured out that he was playing in her hair. A thousand sensations assaulted her emotions and she felt herself in massive sensory overload, unsure of what to do, knowing she had no idea how to return his kiss, and wanting now more than anything not to disappoint him. She waited, patiently, half terrified he would continue, half that he would not, and fighting a fear that she could not identify.