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Click hereShe raised her head from its place on his chest and planted a soft kiss on his lips "I think I need more conviction" she whispered close to his mouth before she pressed her soft lips against him.
He did convince her.
I understand this was just a fantasy story, but firstly no guy has that kind of nonstop stamina, probably not even an 18 year old. Secondly, even if he did she would get sore from all that nonstop sex. Third, no woman would fall for a guy who kidnaps her, rapes her of her virginity and keeps her a naked prisoner on an island as his sex toy.
It did move really fast but good writing anyways. If you didn't rush it would have made it feel real. Like her feelings were justified. Love it though.
-Jaz
story progression was way too fast.
she goes from losing her virginity in ch3 to getting married to the guy in ch4?
no development, no sense of accomplishment through the passage of time.
should be at least 1 chapter between 3 and 4 detailing her transition from his prisoner to his lover...
I hope you will continue the story. Is Jenny pregnant? How will that affect the way they are with each other? Please continue and let me find out.
I enjoyed the overall story. It was good, not great. It would be much better if you edited it. For instance, the last quote should read, "I need more convincing," not "conviction." Keep writing-I personally like the reluctance and romance combination. Learn how to edit or ask someone to help you, and I'm confident you're stories will improve greatly.