A Request For Help

"Not every night, lass!" Jim cackled. "Or have you forgotten? Some nights you walk out of here, head held high! Other nights you go home with people. All kinds of people. Men, women, brutes, you name it! And..." he gestured at Kellie, "some nights a friend of yours drags you home. I guess this blonde girl is the latest replacement for that bobby of yours. What was his name?"

"Dave Morgan," Jessie snapped, spitting on the ground just as Jim had done earlier.

"Yes, Dave Morgan," Jim shook his head, wagging a finger at her. "Your fiance, was he not? The father of your child. And then he exploited you, called the tabloids and helped them arrange to take pictures of you. Sold all those stories about you to the press again and again. You were right to dump his ass, girl."

She should dump yours too, Jim, I raged at him silently. Mellow out, calm down, get herself a good man and some help. Her East Enders character did it, surely she can too. I hope so anyway.

"Fuck you!" Jessie fumed, throwing up her hands and smiling as she stared at Jim and the bouncer, then the crowd. "Fuck all of you! Fuck you and your mothers and your fathers! Fuck them all!"

"Get her out of here, Igor!" Jim ordered the bouncer, his tone full of venom. The man nodded, then shoved Jessie away with one huge hand. The flabbergasted Kellie caught her by the shoulders, grimacing as she tried to hold up the laughing Jessie. I was worried too. Did she still have vomit in her to cough up? Other things too possibly? Would I have to charge Kellie extra for the cleaning of my cab?

Shrugging this off for the moment, I hopped out of my taxi and opened the right rear door for my passengers. Kellie supported Jessie as they walked over, one hand on her arm and one on her shoulder. Her face was a cloud of embers, a storm of worry and fear. Jessie was still laughing, an expression of mirth and unbridled passion. She enjoys being who she is, I thought, only briefly wondering why. I know so many facts about her, I mused, but none can really explain who she is, how she lives the way she does. Facts, I reminded myself again, are inadequate to explaining the true inner life of a human being.

"Good to see you again, Frank!" Jim called out from the bar's entryway. I shot him the finger. He laughed and walked back into the bar, the smiling Igor at his side.

"He's a horse's arse," I growled. Kellie, slamming the cab door behind her, nodded in agreement.

"Aye!" Jessie chuckled joyfully. "He's a right putz, he is! A real rotter sod!"

I waved a hand to shush her, glad we were getting away from Conrad's without any violence. What did Jessie do to get herself tossed out of the place? I wondered. Nah, it wasn't important. Maybe she insulted someone, maybe she tried to pick a fight, maybe she tried to pick up the wrong person. It wasn't important. Whatever the reason, she was in my cab.

"Jessie," Kellie got her attention, staring at the other woman and waving a hand in front of her face. "My name is Kellie Shirley. I'm a new cast member of East Enders."

"Oh," Jessie smiled at her, blue eyes mirthful. "I was wondering who you were. Did Shane send you?"

"Yes," Kellie replied slowly, looking at me. "He sent Frank Martin as well. Do you know Frank Martin?"

"So this is Frank Martin," Jessie chuckled, regarding me. "I've heard a lot about you, Frank."

"And I you," I replied with a smirk. I've never met Shane Ritchie, who played Jessie's husband on East Enders and is a good friend of the godfather of her child. I like his comic style, though. If he has told Jessie about me, he must be a fan of mine too. Good.

"I'm not really like my character, you know," Jessie insisted. "I could never do the things she does. I've never asked a man out in my life! Boyfriends- bad news."

"Of course you've never asked a man out," I repeated, grimacing. I looked away from her into the rearview mirror. She's going to be incoherent, I reminded myself. Drunks always are. "Where to?" I asked Kellie, locking my eyes on hers in the rearview mirror. She stared back at me, unsure.

"Drive around slowly," she said finally. "It's Shane's tab, not mine. I don't care how long you take."

"I need an eventual destination," I calmly told her, trying to control my tone. "Where to?"

Kellie hesitated again, then looked at Jessie. "I'm taking you home," she said.

"Fine," Jessie shrugged. "No problem!"

"Good," Kellie sighed in relief, then turned back to me and gave me an address. I nodded. It was some distance away, but I could find it. It might take a while, though. It was getting late in the day now. Darkness was building up around us, and traffic. Fog too, that element of weather for which London is so well-known. I'm used to driving in fog, but I don't like it. It comes in on little cat's feet, like the poet says, and blocks the vision. There's a reason for it, I reminded myself again. Everything has a purpose assigned to it by the greatest force in the world. What the purpose is I cannot fathom, nor should I really care.

Kellie was silent as we started our journey, looking back and forth at the growing fog around us. I was worried too. My car's windows are tinted, but normally I don't like to hide. Fog hides things with darkness beyond darkness. I flipped my headlights on, trying to penetrate the mist. Good, I thought, I can drive safely in this. I just need to go slow, take my time.

Jessie laughed as we rounded the corner, getting farther and farther from the place we'd left. "So what's your character like, Kellie?" she asked the woman beside her. "Is she a replacement for me?"

"No one could ever replace you, Jessie," Kellie smiled. "That's what everyone tells me anyway."

"And it's true, very true," Jessie agreed, returning her smile. "East Enders was the best thing that's ever happened to me, the best thing that's ever likely to! I loved it so much!"

Kellie nodded. "Perhaps one day you'll come back."

"Maybe," Jessie shrugged, staring out the window. "For now, I'm doing other things."

"Other things," Kellie repeated, grimacing. "Like drinking yourself into a stupor every night at Conrad's and places like it?"

"I don't go out every night," Jessie frowned. "Just when I feel the need."

"Yes," Kellie shook her head, then looked away from her. "Shane told me all about your needs."

"That muppet needs to take his own advice and shut up!" Jessie growled. "He can't decide if he wants to be a hero or a villain. He can't make decisions for me either. I'm not some idiot trapped in a burning car!"

"No, you're worse," Kellie sighed, looking back and staring at her directly. "You're a person who has trapped themselves in a bad situation and refuses to get out. I'm here to intervene, remind you of the good things you've been forsaking."

"You know what?" Jessie glared at her. "I don't give a damn! I chose to be this way and I'll keep being this way! It's how I have fun!"

"Fun," Kellie mused, rolling her eyes at Jessie. "You really think you need to go out drinking to have fun?"

"Yes!" Jessie shot back, embers alight in her eyes now. "Fun, fun and games! That's all I want from life. One night I go after a fireman, the next an astronaut, then a man in a top hat. Fun and games again and again!"

"And what about your daughter?" Kellie asked. "What do you suppose she's going to think of all this when she's old enough to recognize it?"

Jessie opened her mouth to fire off another insult, then fell silent, staring at Kellie. Finally she turned away. "I want to be a proper mum," she said with a grimace, suddenly looking downcast.

"Yes," Kellie nodded. "You want to be a proper mum. You want to be good to Tallulah. But you're not, are you?"

"I..." Jessie stammered, staring back at her. She looked at me, then out the windows, then back at Kellie. "I..."

You don't really know what you're doing, do you? I almost wanted to ask the blonde. You're trying to intervene in the life of a person you don't know, one you admire because you've seen her work and don't know her outside of that work. She's a person you've heard rumors about, awful rumors you want to settle in your own mind. You want to help her too, but you're misguided. Do you really think you're going to have any effect on her? She doesn't know you and you don't know her! Why are you doing this?

She's following the highest calling there is, I answered my own doubting questions. She's helping others. Just like you.

"You drink for fun?" Kellie asked Jessie, her eyes filled with fire. She waved a finger to emphasize her words. "Do you really think you need to? Don't you know there are people out there glad to call themselves your friends, drink or no drink? Why don't you just hang out with them, do fun things, cultivate those relationships? Why go to a place like Conrad's instead?"

"I..." Jessie stammered. I wondered if she had a good answer. I certainly couldn't think of one, and in her state I could easily imagine having far more trouble. "You didn't answer me!" she finally snapped at Kellie. "What's your East Enders character like?"

"She's a mechanic," Kellie said, smiling slyly. "I am too."

A mechanic, I thought, mind flashing back briefly to Carly Wicks. She is a mechanic, and a damn good one. Kellie, I'm thinking, is acting like a mechanic of a different sort now, though.

"You're a mechanic?" Jessie frowned. "A _female_ mechanic?"

"Yes," Kellie smiled. "It takes a special sort of person to do the things I do."

Jessie frowned again, then shrugged. "I can dig that."

Kellie shook her head. "You say you can, but can you? I think that you really don't know what you're talking about."

Jessie stared at her agape. "You do?"

"Yes," Kellie smirked. "I do. Look at yourself. When cornered, you answer questions with questions. You change the subject, extrapolate, confuse the issue. Meanwhile you keep digging yourself into a deeper grave."

"Fuck you," Jessie snapped, glaring at the other woman. "Fuck you!"

"Yes," Kellie smiled, taking her words in. "That is what you shout to the world every night when you go out and play these games of yours, and what you say to yourself too every time you do it. Fuck you. Again and again. Well, you know what, Jessie?" She reached out a hand and put it on Jessie's knee. "You've said fuck you to a lot of people. And now I'm saying it right back."

Jessie stared at her hand, shocked by its placement. Then she looked up at Kellie's face. "What are you doing?"

"Oh come now," Kellie grinned at her. "Kara told me all about the things you and her used to do together during your times on the show. Don't tell me you don't still do them."

"Kara?" Jessie stared at Kellie, her mouth open wider. "She told you..."

"Yes," Kellie laughed, moving her hand higher on Jessie's thigh. "Kara told me all about you. So did Michelle and Shane and Tracy. I know everything about you, Jessie. Except for the unnecessary drinking, I like all that I've heard."

I stare at them in the rearview mirror between looking at the road, for an instant unable to believe what I am seeing and hearing. Then I remind myself of a few facts. I myself am opposed to sex outside of marriage. I don't like promiscuity either, especially homosexual promiscuity. Even despite this dislike, though, I try to tolerate it. I try to tolerate and understand a lot of things. I still do not understand, however, my attraction to something like what happened in my car's backseat. I did not understand why, but I could not help but watch it.

Jessie was staring at Kellie's hand on her now, then looking again into Kellie's eyes. "And you..." she stammered.

"Yes," Kellie said, suddenly moving in closer and touching the older woman's lips with hers. "I'm here to help you," she reminded Jessie, pulling back after a quick smooch. "You think you need alcohol to get the things you want. Well, you're wrong. Your friends know you're wrong. They've sent me to illustrate that fact."

Jessie threw up a hand between them, trying to shove her away. "I was drunk when I got with all of them!" she shouted. "Drunk, just like I am now!"

"But you enjoyed it," Kellie told her, smiling and kissing Jessie's cheek again. "They enjoyed it. I too think I will enjoy it." She planted another kiss on Jessie's lips.

I won't enjoy it, I thought to myself, turning another corner and feeling relieved for the fog that hid us. I do so hate it when people seduce each other in the back of my cab. Cleanup is always a chore, and a serious one. Some things are worse, like blood, vomit, or other things. Sex, though, is just... unsanitary. Especially in a public place like this, a place that doesn't even belong to the participants. Why do so many people feel they have my permission to do it in the back of my cab? Oh well, I can't stop them. I'm not supposed to even judge them. Besides, I need to drive. Yes, that's right, I need to drive.

Still, though, I can barely tear my eyes away from Kellie and Jessie. Their lips touching again, their eyes flashing with increasing emotions. Kellie looked unsure of herself but increasingly more confident. Jessie was surprised, then pleased. Perhaps she is grateful she is in fact getting to go home with a friend tonight, I thought. Not someone who's out to harm her, take her away from the things she loves so much. Instead they're going to show her new fun things, or remind her of fun things she already knows. I wasn't sure which, I prefer not to make conjectures. Instead I continued to watch.

"What are you doing?" Jessie breathed out, pulling back from the other girl and trying to shove her away. "Get your hands off me!"

"Oh, no you don't," Kellie shook her head, moving back into Jessie and pushing her down against the seat. Her hands were on Jessie's shoulders, then moved lower, caressing and fondling. "You want this," Kellie urged Jessie on. "You know you want it."

"I..." Jessie gasped out, then nodded, moving her hands up and placing them on Kellie's. "Yes, fine, I do want it. Get it over with!"

Yes, I agreed silently. Get it over with. Get it done. This is part of your request, Kellie Shirley. I may not like it, but I'm not going to stop you. I'm just going to watch and drive, that's it. Just watch and drive. Yet what's behind me is so interesting, so compelling, so...

I kept my eyes on the road, trying to stay concentrated on what I needed to watch. The sights and sounds dominated my attention for an instant, then the fog took them. Another cry from the backseat, and they faded away as out of curiousity I turned my eyes away from the road back to Kellie and Jessie. Then I stopped myself and looked back at the road. Then there was another cry, and again I looked at what was happening in the backseat.

Back and forth, again and again, I looked at each sight. Each was a tableau to which I needed to pay attention, one from which I could not turn my attention. Soon I stopped fooling myself about it, knowing it was a useless means of caution. It was also distracting me from the road. The fog around us was thick and growing thicker. Other vehicles around us vanished into it, and so did we. From time to time I heard a horn honking, brakes squealing, or some other noise. I paid the noises little attention, driving slow and trying to keep my mind off what was happening around me and especially behind me. Just drive, I told myself. Just drive.

Still, though, I found myself looking frequently at them. Kellie was leaning close to Jessie now, rubbing the other woman's body against hers. Her hands were moving, rubbing Jessie's breasts and thighs through her clothing. Jessie's hands were moving too, slowly but surely meeting Kellie's. First they touched her hands, then her arms, then they moved onwards. I thought at first Jessie was going to try to shove her away again, but soon I realized she was helping Kellie, urging her to keep doing what she was doing. The brunette's voice had fallen silent now, her anger calmed and bled out of her. She did want this, I realized, as she too must have realized. She had come to Conrad's with a seduction in mind. Maybe this wasn't exactly what she'd planned or hoped for, but she was enjoying it nonetheless. So was Kellie. Some part of me was too, I supposed.

Kellie kissed Jessie again, her tongue stabbing into the other woman's mouth this time. Her hands were meanwhile moving beind Jessie, unbuttoning and zipping down the back of her dress, pushing it over her shoulders. Jessie was not wearing underwear, so soon her large breasts and dark nipples were revealed, engorged and hard from Kellie's attention to them. Jessie's hands were moving too, unbuttoning Kellie's blouse and reaching inside, pulling the blonde's breasts out and rubbing at them. Kellie had a bra on, but it was soon unfastened and pushed down along with her blouse, thrown to the floor and away from her. Her nipples were dark too, I saw, darker than Jessie's. Her breasts were smaller but no less enticing.

The two women rubbed against each other, moaning out their passion. I turned a corner as I watched them, trying to remember where I was and keep myself oriented. I'm back by Hackney Park, I told myself, or at least I think so. Hard to tell, what with the fog and all the other distractions around.

Kellie was kissing her way down Jessie's neck now, rubbing her breasts and stroking her fingers across them. Her motions were swift and sure, circling and probing the aureolas. Jessie moaned under her touch, rubbing at Kellie's shoulders and running her fingers through the other woman's hair. Kellie continued to push her dress down farther, over her waist and hips, then her legs. I caught a glimpse of Jessie's stomach in the rearview mirror as I drove slowly past a lorry. Pale and taut with the muscles of dancing, below it a mass of pale curls standing out over engorged and open lips. Not a natural brunette, I thought to myself. Surprising. Usually it's the brunette who wants to dye her hair blonde, not the other way around.

I couldn't tell whether Kellie was a natural blonde or not. Her hair seemed real enough, and I never gazed too closely at the roots of it. Her thighs were shaven- this became clear to me when Jessie unbuttoned her skirt and shoved it down around her ankles. Her white cotton panties soon followed. I couldn't see much looking in the mirror, but what I could see told me enough. I could easily guess the rest. Jessie had a finger inside Kellie now, finding and teasing the points of sensitivity. Kellie's hands were moving across her too, massaging curves and locating spots that caused interesting reactions. They weren't saying much, their lips were too busy kissing and licking at each other. The moans I could hear were nice though. The smells from back there- their mixing perfumes and the aroma of their sweat- they were nice too.

"Please," Jessie gasped out, her breath coming in deep heaves as Kellie kissed her way down her body. Lips touched one breast, then the other, sucking the nipples before moving on. Then they touched the cleavage, the waist, the hips, and lower. I knew what was coming, and again I had to stop myself from making some form of protest. They were in the backseat of my car, in the middle of a public street. Fog and tinted windows notwithstanding, someone could look in, see them! But they didn't seem to care and I was not supposed to judge. I merely did my job. I kept my hands on the wheel, my eyes on the road. I continued driving.

Then I heard a cry, and my eyes involuntarily turned back. Jessie was lying down across the seat, moaning and gasping out faster. Kellie was on top of her facing her feet, blonde head buried between the thighs her hands held apart. Jessie's hands were moving across Kellie's lower thighs and bottom, squeezing the flesh there and creating tremors in Kellie. Her finger was still stuck inside Kellie, and two others had joined it. They were moving rapidly, and Kellie was shaking around them. Meanwhile her tongue was licking through Jessie's pubic hair, teasing out more moans and whispers of joy from the other woman. I tried to keep from paying it all much attention. I was not part of it, I reminded myself. I could not be, for so many reasons. Mostly, I needed to drive the car.