tagHumor & SatireA Smutty Tale

A Smutty Tale

byMadameMerrydow©

And so it was that on the 16th century of the great age, on the eleventh day of the month Ayres there rose a great commotion in the whorehouse of Madame Meringue. Jocasta, a fair whore, conversant in the arts seksual pleasure and specializing in using the mouth to bring gentlemen heavenly pleasure came running out of her pleasuring room emitting a scream rivaling that of the banshees of the Green Ocean. Her bosom bare and only wearing a transparent silk that showed more than it hid between her thighs, Jocasta stood in the middle of the great hall and emitted another high-pitched scream. Many a patron of Madame Meringue's whorehouse still remember the strength of her voice (and the quivering of her bosom matching the timbre of her throat).

Madame Meringue, upon hearing Jocasta's throaty scream, rushed out of her boudoir where she had been preparing to receive one of her regulars, for she was not above entertaining some old customers with certain specific tastes that she was an expert in. As she ran down the stairs she worried about what some inexperienced lordling may have done to arouse the ire of Jocasta (the Madame would know that voice anywhere), perhaps an advance towards her rear without the pre-requisite lotions and potions for loosening that reluctant entrance. Jocasta was preternaturally sensitive in that area and did not like any advances by gentlemen unless she was well prepared and well remunerated though there was always an over-confident lordling who would presume to impress a whore by forcing oneself into unprepared holes in lieu of actual conquests.

Madame Meringue arrived at the landing midway into the hall and saw Jocasta standing at the center of the hall sobbing and surrounded by other ladies of the hall, no doubt using this disturbance as an excuse to avoid their daily labors. She moved quickly, climbing down the rest of the stairs and dove into the bevy of ladies. She embraced Jocasta into her bosom and shooed away the other ladies back to their prospective clients. Uttering motherly sounds she soothed Jocasta as she led her back to the corridor Jocasta had so recently rushed out of. The honorable Judge Jeremiah who was there for his weekly whoring ritual spied the two ladies walking away and was so inflamed by this sight of maternal caring that he engaged the service two ladies (Jade and Carmona) and had them play-act the parts of a mother-and-daughter while he fucked them both as dogs do, the act he henceforth named "Mothering & Fuckering" (the judge was known his esoteric tastes but not for this linguistic skills).

Madame Meringue who had now soothed Jocasta to coherence now started querying here on her outburst. "My pretty girl, you scared me with your scream. What caused such a ghastly emission? Did some over-confident lordling try to invade your butt? Don't worry my dear, we will get the potion ready for you and some lotions too (both for your dark sheath and his turgid sword) and have that lordling pay quadruple for his attempted trespass. And you shall have a day off after this too, for so much excitement is not good for your nerves."

Jocasta however continued to sob lightly and spoke in disconnected phrases about a dark sailor and colored seamen. Madame Meringue, confused at these words, simply put this down to shock and continued to follow Jocasta to her pleasuring room.

In the room she spied a seaman of the sandy climes, was this the colored seaman? The seaman lay on the bed covered by a blanket, his hands folded under his head and his eyes closed enjoying a post-coital respite but this did nothing to explain Jocasta's sudden outburst. The seaman awakened by the commotion of two ladies bustling into the room opened an eye and looked at the Madame and Jocasta with mild mirth.

"Aye are yoo two whoors ready for one more taste of 'eaven?", said the colored villain. The Madame, undoubtedly scandalized that the seaman should consider her a common whore, uttered a snort of disgust and readied her diatribe about unpaid invasions and special services when Jocasta spoke

"Do not listen to this magicker Madame, for he is certainly cursed by those spirits of sandy climes whence he comes from. He has imbued his black sword with some otherworldly power so that it may charm and hold women in its thrall. I escaped merely by the knack of my tongue and the skin of my teeth but no doubt he has thralled many a maiden with his magick member."

Intrigued and somewhat amazed by this description Madame Meringue looked at the villainous seaman with more interest. She had had many a seamen from the sandy climes and had found them sturdy specimens with healthy emissions and of hardy stamina but she had never had a "magick" member before. That the seaman did not rise to contradict any of Jocasta's declamations meant that there was a grain of truth to it. The Madame was too old to believe in tales of magicking members and thralled maidens (a tale manufactured and flamed by old madams as a means to keep their whores in check) but she was interested in getting to the root of this conundrum.

"Sir, you have scared one of my best whores and caused much commotion and dismay among the patrons and ladies of the house, I insist that you explain yourself", said that Madame while expanding her ample pendulous bosom.

"Beg yoor pardon Madame, but that was not my intention. I was merely availing the services of this comely whoor who I had arranged for very legitimately and I only requested that she perform her end of the bargain by doing me the pleasure of spreading my emmision on her fair visage and then swallowing some part of it. But she only fulfilled half of this bargain and ran off leaving my sword ready for battle but missing an enemey". But Jocasta interrupted the seaman's monologue at this moment, "Fah! you villainous blackguard that you dare impugn on my ethic as a whore, I am a proud whore and have many satisfied clients, both men and of the fairer sex, in this fair city. Indeed I have served a prince or two in my days of youth and even now they do call upon me sometime for a nostalgic fuck and suck when their wives are too busy powdering their noses while being taken by young soldiers from behind. There is even a couple in the royal court whose names shall remain a secret, who enjoy my company in their bedroom games, he likes to be fucked from behind by me and she likes to fuck me in the behind and they always pay extra for the lotion and potions. But you blackguard, you conveniently omit the most depraved fact about your own member, the fact so devilish and other-worldly so as to fully explain my reaction and any transgressions I may have done against our contract."

"Heed your mouth Jocasta for the customer has to get the first say", said the Madam ever virtuous in her mercantile dealings. "Let this seaman explain himself so that I may judge his actions and then yours." At this Jocasta silenced herself but continued to sullenly glare at the seaman.

"Now sir, please continue but dare I say that you leave it to me to judge whether your contract about seksual services was redeemed properly. I urge you to stick only to the facts with promise that if you have indeed been wronged I will make this whore serve you till you are satisfied and indeed offer another lady of this hall with no extra fees as a playmate for your carnal pleasure. Let none say that Madame Meringue does not put the pleasure and satisfaction of her customers first", said the Madame.

"Indeed Madam, I can see now that yoo are the most virtuous of ladies in this hall, and so rightly carry the reins of such a fine establishment. I shall stick to the fact, but I am convinced of my own virtue in this contract and so I must make a request regarding your promised remuneration for my case", replied the seaman.

"You count your chickens before they have hatched seaman but I will hear your request", replied the wary Madame.

"Are you Madame, not yourself a whoor and do you not service some patrons in this hall?", asked the seaman, a leer now gracing his lips.

Ignoring the leer the Madame heaved her bosom proudly and replied, "Indeed yes sir, for I have been proud whore for thirty years now and an even prouder Madame for ten. I have seen this hall grow from a couple of damp rooms behind a disreputable tavern in the Wharves to a distinguished hall graced by the nobility and royalty of this city. And I have done this all with sweat of my bosom and grease of my sheath. I have done so by treating my ladies right by their health and monies (for are their cunts not the freshest, most tight and supple to touch and penetrate) and pleasing patrons by satisfying all their whims and reciprocating all their depravities. Indeed Madame Meringue's hall is known through the breadth of this country for its lovely ladies and accommodating whores. But you sir have impugned on this name and I still wait to hear your explanation."

"Pardon Madame, it was not my intention to denigrate yoo in anyway. I love whoors and respect the profession (indeed my sister is whoor of no less repute in the city of Reny). I had heard many a tale of Madame Meringue's hall in my voyages and chose to make this my first place of business during my shore leave in your fair city. My intention in verifying your profession was more of a carnal nature, for yoo see Madame I favor the more mature whoore. A mature whoore is an expert in technique and not given to flights of fancy as the young ones are. She has experienced many a men and handled many a sword in her life and puts in the effort to provide physical pleasure for the customer. Her cunt has seen many sword both long and short, fat and thin and she know how to flex and make an ordinary fuck an heavenly journey. Indeed at the concierge's desk I had asked for the most experienced whoor but I was told that yoo only serviced the more faithful clientele with whom you have had personal relations for years. I was forced to settle for comely Jocasta here but she did assure me that she was second only to yoo in experience (and more limber in her body) and would work hard for my pleasure. I had no reason to doubt any of her assertions, till her most recent behavior"

At this Jocasta bristled and opened her mouth but closed it after the Madame gave her a glare.

The seaman continued, "My request is that if you are convinced of the merit of my case then you grace me with your skills as whoor for I have heard many grand tale of the cunt of Madame Meringue which can at once squeeze a lemon dry and yet make silken thread dance a merry tune."

Madame Meringue both flattered and somewhat miffed at the seaman's request, "Not only do you count you chickens but you think of the bull you may hire to fuck your cows with profits you will make by selling your chicken in the Sunday market. You are right in that I am a whore still, albeit an old one. And Jocasta is right in pointing out that I am not as limber as I used to be but you are also right in that I understand what patrons desires and strive to give that to them and more. But I have reduced my hours and now only service old acquaintances and distinguished quest who desire my expert skills. You are overgenerous in your praises of my cunt but I have pleased many a lords in my day grinding their swords to dullness. But I am a woman of my words and If I do find your case meritorious I shall freely share my body with you upon this bed and let you fuck an suck as you will. I will show the zenith of pleasure that man can get of woman's hands and cunt. I will let spread you emission wherever you will in and on my body. I will show you news ways of pleasuring a woman which will drive comely Jocasta here into ethereal moans of pleasure and pain till she lies bereft of all her passion, a wonder for all to behold, a satisfied whore!"

Jocasta's eyes widened at the Madame's declaration as a slow shiver passed through her body. She had had once before been a playmate with the Madame and had need one whole day to recover from the seksual exertions that the Madame had put her through. But that had been for very distinguished guest and, as the Madame had said, "a very old friend". She was surprised that Madame was offering the self-same services to this common villainous seaman who was impugning her reputation.

"Madame, yoo are indeed the most virtuous lady and I shall tarry no further for even now my member grows tumescent in preparation of the promised reward. I believe I know what may have caused such an untoward reaction from this whoor. Do you observe certain colored spots on her visage?", said the seaman now earnest in his explanations.

The Madam closely looked at Jocasta's face and did indeed see small spots of blue, green and yellow all over. She was surprised that she had not observed them before but these were small spots and not splotches.

"Indeed I do sir", she replied.

"Now Madame may I direct you attentions at my semi-tumescent member", the seaman had removed the blanket and his member lay exposed, sitting at an angle and throbbing slowly. It was member on the larger side (though not the largest the Madame had seen), it had a generous girth and was covered with multicolored lines, of green, blue and yellow. So his member is tattooed, thought the Madame, a phenomena the Madame had observed in other seamen of sandy climes. But surely this was not a matter of surprise and certainly not for Jocasta for she had also seen many of these.

"To fully explain this Madame I shall have to request you to grace my member with dextrous strokes from a womanly hand so that it may stand erect in its full glory and then rise to the crescendo of ejaculation", said the seaman.

At this Madame heaved her bosom and said, "Sir I am not your whore yet! Do you deign to think you can amaze me with a tattooed member? I have seen many such members with more length and girth and better tattoos!"

"Nay Madame, you misunderstand. I merely exert myself to fully explicate the circumstances that led to this situation. If you doubt my veracity ask this whoor if doing so will make the situation clear", said the seaman.

Jocasta nodded her head and spoke, "The seaman does not prevaricate, frigging his member with your hand will indeed give a full explanation."

The Madame nodded at Jocasta, and grabbed hold of the seaman's black member and started stroking it. The member throbbed in her hand and soon rose to a full trumpet. The Madame continued stroking it and in her mind appreciating the vitality and texture of the penis. It was good specimen and given the opportunity she would not mind a good frig but she soon rid herself of these carnal thoughts thinking this is a time for business and admonishing herself for fancying fucks like a young whorenew to the trade! She quickened her strokes and the seaman uttered a moan.

"Jocasta, offer this gentleman your breasts so the he may climax sooner rather than later. The sooner we resolve this business the better", said the Madame.

Still sullen, Jocasta obliged by walking over to the seaman and placing the nypple of her left breast into the seaman's lusting mouth, the seaman latched on like a thirsting babe greedily suckling at the nypple. He however respectfully kept his hands to himself and the Madame noted this, at least he understands the trade well.

Soon Madame felt the minute tremors that come before ejaculation and the seaman unhooked himself from the Jocasta's nypple and said, "Beware Madame for I can feel the ejaculate coming. Jocasta, now free, turned to look at the throbbing member as well. Then the Madame felt the contraction at the base of the penis and felt the ejaculate make its way out.

Oh wonders of wonders, the Madame uttered a loud exclamation as the ejaculate splurted out of the member and rained on her face and bosom. It was not the force of emission that surprised her, for she was used to and also enjoyed being ejaculated on. But rather it was the color, she had been expecting the pearly whiteness of semen but instead she saw colorful hues of blue, green and yellow. There were also tinges purple, pink and violet, indeed all the colors of the rainbow and more seemed to emit forth from this man's penis. This explained the colored spots on Jocasta's face and the colored lines on the member that were even now being redrawn by fresh ejaculate. She looked up at Jocasta her mouth still open as the member continued to intermittently spurt more semen though now with less intensity.

"Do you see now Madame, what caused such a reaction in me? I can see that this is a surprise to you too though you have much stronger nerves than I. When saw this villain's member eject this multicolored semen I was surprised and terrified for my own safety for it reminded me of stories that old Joniq used to tell us back in the old tavern, stories of djinns who had magick sperm and would thrall maidens into eternal servitude by spreading this magickal emmision on their bodies. Is this seaman not of the selfsame tribe come here to put us all in his thrall? I beg of you Madame be quick and rid yourself of this unholy emission and call the town guard to lock this fellow up", said Jocasta convinced now that the Madame would see he side of things.

"Hush Jocasta, you speak of things you know not like an ignorant fool!", said the Madame.

She then turned to look at the seaman in new light, her face still dripping with versatile hues of his recent sperm.

"Sir, you have played a cruel trick on this old whore. Only once before have I seem such emission, this was in my youthful days when sea captain from your climes had engaged my services for the whole day. He had surprised me similarly though I am less superstitious than Jocasta here and had tried to wheedle the secret out of him. He had not let me on it even with promises of more service without remuneration. But I do know this is not of magickal origin but rather natural. More to the point I know that certain kinds of diet has this strange effect on the sperm of a man. Now you are here I will do my utmost to get this secret out of you. But I am also a whore of my word, I clearly see your merit in this case. While your colorful semen is indeed surprising, I agree that Jocasta did indeed over-react and break her side of the contract by not consuming your emission. Indeed Jocasta remind me to punish you for behaving in such an unmannerly fashion, you are a woman of thirty years now and have been in whoring for fifteen and yet you reacted in such an immature fashion. You indeed deserve your punishment and more from this tricksy seaman."

Jocasta opened her mouth but though better of it and lowered her eyes, defeated. The Madame had been surprised but not overly afraid of this colorful discharge. She had been judged and she would pay her dues.

Nodding at Jocasta's reaction, the Madame turned to the seaman and said, "Indeed sir, Jocasta is your whore, nay your slut for the day. User her as you will, use her as a servant, humiliate her with acts of depravity and fuck, suck and mock her as you will. She deserves this punishment and knows it and she will take it all in good grace and more for she knows that this experience will make her a better whore and she will perhaps be given less to the flights of imagination about djinns and magick sperm."

The Madame looked at Jocasta and did not see any signs of protest and thought to herself, here is a good whore always ready to learn and improve herself. She would make sure to teach her some of her own secrets of how to make the most manly man beg for a good frigging in their rear by stimulating the nether regions around the prostrate. Then she turned back to the seaman and said, "And I have not forgotten the other part of our bargain, no sir for I am woman who stands by word. I shall be you whore for today, I shall fuck and suck anything and everything you ask and more. I will take you to the zenith and nadir of pleasure and pain and then make you emit your colorful sperm as many times as you wish. You say you desire a mature whore with an experienced cunt and you shall have one who will prove you assertions about old whores ten times over."

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