A Star Is Born--Naked

Abbie ran her hands up and down my back, brushing my butt and finally encircling my waist, pulling me tight.

I wondered if this were a rehearsal or if she were putting a move on me. I had heard all the rumors about Abbie being in the closet.

She loosened her grip, kissed my cheek and stood back.

"Let's sit here a while and enjoy the heat," she said as she stooped to retrieve both of our towels.

We each took a bench facing each other with our towels under our butts and our backs resting against a wall.

"Chloe, do you think I'm hitting on you?"

I panicked thinking that my expression must have betrayed my thoughts.

I stumbled for an answer.

"It's Ok. Let me give you the quick back story of Abbie Evans and then you can decide."

I began to protest, but she cut me off.

"Chloe, I know all about the rumors, the gossip the celebrity websites. I know people think I am a raging lesbo trying desperately to remain in the closet. Just let the heat relax you and listen for a bit."

I nodded.

"You know my story, at least the part the publicists push. Child star at eleven, workaholic, producer, Hollywood legend, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, a lot of it is true, but it's far from the complete picture.

"After my big hit when I was just a kid, my parents tried their best to protect me. They had taken control of my earnings, hired a business manager, gotten a respectable agent and worked hard to let me be a kid. And, for the most part it worked out. I got other great roles. My business manager was a wiz who invested my money well. My parents were supportive but not pushy stage parents. They let my agent do all the negotiating. My mom would come on set with me to be sure I was not overworked and got my school assignments done.

"I made three major pictures before I was eighteen. I wanted to go to college and was accepted at Stanford. I only acted during the summer and made it through college mostly unscarred. Did the usual stupid college kids stuff, but managed not to get arrested or to land on the front pages.

"And, yes, I experimented a bit with drugs and drinking. Being an Academy Award winner, I figured the rules did not apply to me. I got wasted a few too many times, but, again, never ended up in a scandal.

"In senior year, I got an apartment off campus with a couple other kids. The movie where I did my first nude role had been out for over a year and now I was feeling quite grown up. I told you I was a virgin for that movie, but now I had my aim on fixing that.

"My first lover was a guy I met in Creative Writing class. He was totally fucked up, but I saw him as romantic. We did it in my apartment on a Wednesday afternoon. He was not particularly good, as I later realized. We did it a couple more times until I found out he was writing about it and intending to try to sell a screen play about our little affair. So, lesson learned about people wanting to fuck stars.

"I was totally bummed on guys and next hooked up with my roommate. She was already out and when I opened the door a crack, she rushed in. Sex was good, better than my writer pal. I enjoyed being on the wild side of things. She also loved drugs and drinking hard. Many a night we ended up wasted and having sex in all kinds of weird and public places. I knew I was tempting fate, but I was telling myself I needed to be my own person. Whatever the hell that meant.

"Her brother came for a visit and the next thing I know he and I are screwing our brains out. Katie, my roomie, didn't mind since she was fuckin' our other roomie. She thought it was cool that I was doing both her and her brother. When her brother went home, Katie sort of maneuvered me into a three way with our other roomie, Allie. So, sex and drugs were taking over a good part of my life.

"All that changed when Katie got busted for trying to sell coke to an undercover narc. She dropped out and skipped bail. I got scared and dumped the apartment and moved into a hotel for the last couple months of college. After graduation, I came to New York to start acting full time. I wanted to get out of Hollywood.

"I had a great loft in SoHo. Soon, I was making new friends and slipping back into old habits. Coke was flowing like snow flakes and I had lots of people eager to hang out with me. I had a bunch of flings with both guys and girls. I was quite the metro-sexual living the good life in NYC.

"Then, one morning I woke up in my loft. I was naked and in bed with a guy I did not know and a girl who was a barista down the block. My mouth tasted like sex and my lips were cracked at the corners. Both my pussy and ass felt like the Russian army had been there. I stumbled out of bed to find two other guys on the floor in my bedroom. One guy had the biggest prick I had ever seen and I wondered if that was the cause of my sore mouth, pussy or ass. There was also another girl, someone I had never seen before, and she was passed out, but still wearing a huge strap on. I could not see one condom around any of the guys.

"I freaked. I didn't know how many of those people I fucked and if they had any diseases. I called my agent to come get me. He arrived to find all the others still passed out and me, naked, curled into a ball in the living room. He stuffed a bag with a few clothes, made me pull on something to wear and took me to his co-op.

"I stayed in his guest room for days. He had a doctor come to check me out. I obviously had a lot of regular and anal sex. I could not say if I was raped or did it willingly. I couldn't remember a thing. I was detoxing and the doctor strongly suggested I check into a facility. My agent found one in Vermont that was ultra-private. I stayed there for two months and got myself straight. I also was tested for all the scary diseases and thank God came up clean.

"Chloe, I was scared shitless and vowed never to be out of control again. I had my agent dump the loft, get rid of all the furniture, clothing, everything. I wanted no part of that life to touch me again.

"I moved to Connecticut and got serious about my career. I don't do any drugs and am only a social drinker. I am driven to excel and think I have done well with my movies and other projects. I am excited about this play.

"Chloe, my sex life is still very private. I know you aren't asking, but I want you to know. I did have a long term relationship with another woman. She was soft, introspective, kind and thoughtful. She offset my worst qualities and brought out my best. We parted ways two years ago for lots of reasons. Who can say why couples break up? Part of it was her, part was me. Anyway, I miss her, but have moved on. Today, I would say I am not interested in another relationship with a woman. I've had two men lovers since then. I enjoy being with a man and think that if I found the right one, I could settle down, marry and have a family.

"So, Chloe, when you and I are having our love scene, it will be acting. I just wanted you to know."

I felt the tears welling in my eyes. Abbie had just ripped open her heart and soul to me. She did not need to do this and I was overwhelmed with her honesty. I crawled off my bench and climbed next to her. She opened her arms and I let her embrace me.

"Thank you, Abbie. I will never tell anyone about this."

"I know you won't, Chloe. I could tell you are a decent person and someone with a grasp on life. I hope we can become friends."

"Me, too," I breathed as she held me.

As Abbie and I were showering, she said we should have dinner and talk about an idea of hers.

She had her driver take us to an address in the 80s. The doorman welcomed Abbie and she asked him to order us some dinner from Alfredo's. He smiled and assured her it would be here in an hour.

We took the elevator to the seventh floor and exited into a lobby with just one door.

"Where are we," I asked?

"My little hide-a-way," she said.

She opened the door into a comfortably furnished apartment. Although it must fill the entire floor, it had a cozy feeling. She opened the curtains and put on a couple lights.

I followed her to the kitchen where she fixed us each a glass of Chardonnay and assembled a plate of cheese, fruit and crackers. We sat in front of the gas fireplace and enjoyed the snack.

"I thought you live in Connecticut," I said.

"I do, but I keep this place in the city. It's great when I am working late, or want to spend a weekend here. Let me give you the tour."

The apartment had two master suites and one guest bedroom. There was a small dining area, the large living room and compact kitchen.

We returned to the living room just as the doorman knocked and announced the food was here. Abbie set up small tables and we ate in the living room.

"So," she said between bites of veal marsala, "want to hear my crazy idea?"

"Sure."

"Well, I do think that you and I need to work out our love scene. We want it to look good but also not be pornographic. I suggest we can rehearse here."

I almost choked on the succulent morsel of sautéed veal.

Abbie laughed at my reaction. "And, to maybe make it less threatening, I suggest your friend Syd be here, too. She sounds like she could give us good advice and make it a bit easier on you."

"Ok," I managed to say.

"Good, now here's the other part."

"Other part?"

"Yeah. With the new ending, you and I end up with Joe in bed. We have to undress him, take him between us and pretend we're doing the ol' ménage."

I nodded and drained my wine glass.

"Well, Joe is out for another week. I think we need to block out that whole scene. The secret is to make it look good, but not show too much to the audience."

I snorted and said, "Easy for you, Abbie. All you show is your ass. The rest of the time you have a blanket in front of you. Me, I am pussy and tits forward."

"Wow, I never really thought about it. Ok, I'll drop the blanket and give them all a first class beaver shot."

"Abbie, no way. I didn't mean..."

"You are right, Chloe. Now, I see this will work much better. But, we still have to choreograph the love scene with Joe. So, I suggest we have your friend, Max, stand in for Joe so we can work it out. Then, when Joe returns, we will show him how we figured it out."

"You mean, like Max will be naked, too?"

"Yes. Is that a problem? I thought you said he already saw you and Syd rehearsing."

"He did, but he was dressed. I'm not sure he'll go for this."

"Let me worry about that, Chloe. I can be very convincing. And, Syd can be our audience. She can let us know if anything is showing that shouldn't be."

"Like...?"

"Chloe, it's the double standard. Women can get naked and show everything. We even applaud the courage of stars like Cate Winslet who appear in full frontal nudity. But, let just a peak of a guy's business show up and people start freaking. Plus, there never, ever, ever can be a shot of an erection. Now, we are supposed to be three people passionately making love. The man desires both of us. So, will he have a limp weenie or be hard as a rock. If we want the audience to believe us, he should be erect. If we show an erection, we will be trashed. Plus, if we were commit to full male frontal, then dear Joe would have to get it up every night.

"Now, you and I are obviously beautiful specimens, but after twenty, thirty or a hundred shows do you think Joe will be just as excited? So, we will have to block it so maybe there is a peek in the beginning, but after that it's just ass to the audience."

My head was swimming. I never thought through the love scenes as Abbie had. Added to that was the concept that Max would ever agree to do a nude love scene with me.

Did I even want him to? God, for years I fantasized what it would be like to make love to him, to see him naked. Now, it was a possibility and I was flipping out.

Abbie said she would drive me home. I tried to dissuade her because I did not want her to see where I lived. She insisted and called for her car. Of course, when she said she'd drive me, she meant her driver would be behind the wheel.

I gave him the address. He looked at Abbie in the rear view, probably doubting the wisdom of taking a $100,000+ Mercedes into that neighborhood.

We arrived about twenty minutes later. The usual dope dealers, hookers and really scary-looking people were making my block look like a set for a Sorcese film.

Abbie insisted on walking me to my apartment. I assured her I did it every night and would be fine. She opened the door and pushed me out and followed me. Her driver slid down the window and said maybe he should go too.

"Hank, you stay here and make sure we still have a car."

I waved to the regulars and climbed the stone steps of my stoop.

"I can get it from here, Abbie. You go on home."

"I am seeing you to your room, Chloe. So, lead on."

We climbed the four flights, past pails of trash, piles of newspapers, smells of stale cooking and recent urine, until we arrived at my door. I couldn't help but compare this image with that of the pristine hallway outside of Abbie's apartment.

I desperately wanted her to leave, but she was determined to see me in. I fumbled with the keys and undid the five locks.

I pushed open the door, cringing at the dingy mess waiting within.

My male roomies were watching TV and doing a j. They were dressed in their usual t-shirt and boxers.

Annie was standing in the doorway to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and dressed solely in a pair of black panties. Actually, for Annie this might even be over-dressed. She was, to put it delicately, rather casual about clothing. Usually she was totally nude and oblivious to that fact. The guys quickly accommodated her habits, after realizing that she was not the least bit interested in what they wore under their boxers.

"Hi, guys, I think you know Abbie Evans. She's dropping me off."

The silence was broken by Annie as she crossed the room, her tiny boobs bouncing in rhythm with her steps. She extended her hand and mumbled, "Nice to meet you" as a dribble of white toothpaste escaped her lips, with one drop landing on her rock hard nipple. She made no attempt to wipe away the white gob on her dark protuberance.

Abbie, ever gracious, shook her hand and said it was nice meeting her and the guys.

I turned to Abbie and thanked her again. She looked once more around the shit-hole I called home, pecked my cheek and said good-night.

My roomies fell all over me with a hundred questions. Zack said she looked hotter in person than on the screen. Annie said she was probably overcome with lust seeing him in his pitted-out t-shirt and Elmo boxers.

"Yeah, well I'm sure she loved the glob of paste on what passes for your tit," he rejoined.

Annie looked down and laughed at the sight. She rubbed her nipple clean and then vamped for the rest of us, "Ooh, that feels so good. I should have let Abbie do that for me."

"In your dreams," snorted Dave.

I excused myself and went into my depressing bedroom to get ready for bed.

"God," I thought, "can I even be on the same planet? Abbie lives in such a different world. She must think I am a pathetic loser."

I drifted off to sleep with memories of Abbie's classy apartment and the sounds of Annie's nightly masturbation marathon.

On Saturday, I took the train up to Abbie's apartment. We had decided to do our first rehearsal of our love scene.

Abbie suggested I go to the spare bedroom and get undressed. She left a robe for me.

I came back to the living room as she was slipping on a skirt.

She smiled at me and asked, "Ready?"

I nodded and we began the scene. We both knew our lines and quickly got to the part where Abbie rips my robe off. I am standing naked in front of her and she strips.

Keeping in character, she approaches me, and forces my head to her and kisses me. I struggle for a moment and then relent. Soon, her hands are all over my body and I am reacting. To tell the truth, I am not sure if it was acting or I was really being turned on by her touches and kisses.

I touch her and we fall on the couch, her leg pressed between my thighs. As her lips encircled my aroused nipple, I moan out loud. She then breaks and calls, "Curtain". We both sit back, surprised at how much we are perspiring and how out of breath we are.

"Wow," she says.

"Oh, yeah, wow indeed," I offer.

We look at each other and then simultaneously burst out laughing.

We ran that scene a dozen more times accompanied by phrases like,
"Grab my boob, now. "
"Yeah, that's good put both hands on my ass."
"Ok, open your legs wider so I can get my leg in there. No, that's too wide. You're shooting a great open beaver to stage right."

After a couple hours we were satisfied with the blocking.

"God, I feel like we just had a fuck-a-thon," said Abbie.

"Not sure what one of those feels like, but that was more sex than I've had in years."

We laughed at the sight of us sitting naked on her couch. She held my hand and told me that this was going to work. I began to believe her.

Around three on Sunday, Max called me.

"Well, I must say that your friend, Abbie, is quite a person."

"She called you?"

"Oh, even better. We had lunch together."

"No shit!"

"Ah, shit, indeed. And, what an interesting proposition she had. Can I suppose that you were behind it?"

My cheeks burned. Remembering that Syd said that she was sure that Max knew I used to have a crush on him, I figured he must think that this was some bizarre way of putting a move on him.

"No, honest. I had nothing to do with it."

"Really, I figured it was your way of getting even for doing the nude scene in front of me."

I felt a weight lifted off me. He didn't think I was chasing him, he thought I was getting back.

"No, the whole idea was Abbie's. I told her you'd never go for it, though."

"Why'd you say that?"

"Huh, well, like I didn't think that there'd be any way that you would, you know, be like... Well, I figured you would not want to show your...I mean, do like a nude scene."

"Don't you think I have a good enough body?" he asked.

"Hell, yes," I blurted and immediately wished I could retract my words.

Max laughed and I knew he was teasing me.

"So..." I asked?

"Chloe, I don't know. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable."

"Max, it's just going to be me and Abbie..."

"And, my sister," he added.

"Oh yeah, well, it'll just be us, no audience."

"I don't know," he said again.

"Max, what is it. You've already seen me nude. And if, God I don't know how to put this, well, if you like get aroused, we'll understand. Honest, it will be Ok."

"It's not that, Chloe."

"What is it then?"

"It's kinda' embarrassing."

"More embarrassing than having to make out with your sister in front of you?"

"It's sorta' personal."

"Max, what are you talking about?"

There was a long pause before Max said quietly, "I've always been a little embarrassed about my size."

I didn't understand at first what he meant. "Jeez, Max, you aren't fat. You're in great shape and, yeah, you're tall, but not like a freak. So..."

"Not that size, dummy. My other size."

"Other?" I repeated. Then it hit me.

"Shit, you mean your, ah, your..."

"Yes, Chloe, I mean my dick. And, my balls, too."

I turned scarlet. Thank God we were on the phone.

I tried to cover by talking rapidly. "Hey, no problem. None of us are perfect. Hell, I think my tits are too small. Abbie's tits aren't that big, and Syd's, well, like there just not huge. So, don't give it a thought. We are not going to be judging you. Really, we just want to work out how we will do it on stage. So, it's no big thing. Oh, I didn't mean to say that. So what if it's not big. Hey, I hear that whole bigger is better is just a myth. I could care less and I'm sure Abbie won't either."