Adam's Best Friend

I decided to start picking up our trash. I wasn't in the mood to stay up and talk. The mild buzz I'd had earlier was wearing, and I just wanted to sleep the remainder of it off.

When Gary rejoined me at the campfire, he didn't say a word. He just started doing the same thing, until we were silently working shoulder to shoulder to douse the fire. We walked to the tent together after everything was squared away.

I froze.

"I had to. If he pukes, I want him to do it outside the tent."

Gary had put Adam next to the door in his own single sleeping bag. The other makeshift bed was a double; originally intended for Adam and I to share.

"I'll keep my hands to myself."

I sighed and nodded. It was best for Adam to sleep by himself. I'd just wake him, and that would almost definitely make him hurl. Most likely on me. Just the thought of it made me cringe.

I carefully stepped over Adam to the far side of the double sleeping roll. Focusing solely on slipping off my shoes, I managed to avoid eye contact with Gary before sliding beneath the covers. I turned onto my side, facing the wall of the tent, away from the guys.

I was just drifting off to sleep when Gary shifted his body for the first time. He'd been lying on his back. A moment later, I felt his hot breath on my neck and then his hand snaking around my waist.

I thought he might be doing it in his sleep at first. But his breathing was too shallow.

I turned my face toward him and whispered. "Gary?"

"I've missed you."

My nerve endings sprung to life. I was teetering on the precipice of a bad decision. "Don't, Gary."

He didn't move away as I was expecting. His hand slid down my belly and over my hip until it reached my bare thigh beyond the bottom of my shorts. I held my breath. All of my attention was focused on his hand as it caressed my leg and began to inch up my shorts.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhhh. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since last Thursday."

I hushed my voice. "About what?" Gary's fingers wiggled their way beneath the elastic leg of my panties right to my sex. I stilled his hand with mine.

"Please let me just do this one thing for you, Kate."

I shook my head.

"I want you to know how it feels. Just once. And then I promise I'll leave you alone."

"Adam is right there."

"He's passed out. He won't know. He'll never know, Kate. What is there to lose?"

I kept shaking my head even as my grip was loosening on his hand. He moved his fingers over my slit and began massaging in slow circles. When I did nothing to stop him, he pressed on my side to roll me onto my back.

His fingertips penetrated my folds as soon as my thighs parted enough to allow it. He was knuckle deep inside me in the next second, forcing a gasp of surprise from me. I halted and listened for any sign that I'd woken Adam, but there was none.

Gary withdrew his finger and then slid it up my slit toward my clitoral hood. He traced a circle around my hood and back down again, slathering the area with my own juices. He repeated this several times until the wet sounds could be heard over Adam's snoring.

I couldn't make out Gary's facial expression, but I caught a glint of light off his white teeth as he smiled after a particularly loud slurping noise. I was fully aroused. And wetter than I could recall ever being before. What we were doing was beyond naughty. I couldn't even think about how wrong it was.

His fingers continued to trace lovely circles up and around my hood, brushing over my hardening clit briefly with each pass. I rolled my hips in rhythm with his hand. Over and over. I was growing tenser by the second.

He changed his routine, pressing his fingers hard into my flesh and pinching the bundle of nerves between them. He then massaged in a circle, tugging at my center and rolling it around. More pressure. He wasn't being gentle any longer. He increased the rhythm. His fingers vibrated against my clit.

I held my breath as I was being lifted, lifted, and held in suspense...I gasped. I could feel myself coming unraveled. I pulled my pillow over my face and bit the fabric to keep from making another sound as every nerve ending exploded and my muscles trembled.

It was powerful. Amazing. Mountains moved. Planets shifted on their axis. It was everything everyone ever said about orgasms.

And I'd never felt anything like it.

***

Five

***

Gary had kept his promise. He removed his fingers from my panties and rolled over onto his other side, leaving me to wallow in my own confused thoughts about what had happened.

I wished he hadn't made that promise. I wished that things were different and he didn't feel he had to.

But no amount of wishing was going to change the way things were at that moment. I was dating his best friend, pure and simple. Even if I left Adam the next day, Gary wouldn't just start dating me. It would be the same thing that Adam had done to Gary all those years ago. It wasn't right.

Nothing is right any more.

Standing on the balcony, I vaguely recalled Adam announcing that he was going to jump in the shower. It had been three days since the trip and I was still walking around in a listless daze, feeling as hopeless as if I'd just discovered I had an incurable disease.

I wandered into the living room and sighed. I'd made up my mind. I just didn't have the heart to start packing.

Regardless of what happened with Gary, Adam and I didn't belong together. One of us should've ended it months earlier. We were going through the motions. I just didn't have the heart to break the news to Adam.

I heard a buzzing noise and scanned the room for the source. I finally traced it to Adam's cell phone. I lifted the receiver and read the text message that was clearly displayed on the screen.

Kayla: I miss you, too.

I sucked in a quick breath and held it. His phone was locked, so I couldn't read the other texts. I held his phone in my trembling hand, silently willing another message to come through. The water shut off in the shower. I quickly placed his phone back on the table and retreated to my spot on the balcony. I wasn't sure what to do about the text.

I watched Adam return to the living room wrapped in a towel. He immediately picked up his phone, and then unlocked it quickly, shooting a brief glance in my direction before taking it with him back to the bedroom.

His actions told me all I needed to know. The jealous churning in my stomach about made me toss my lunch over the side of the balcony. He was seeing someone. Who? For how long?

I started going over our previous weeks in my mind, searching for chunks of time not accounted for. The longest chunk of time was obvious. Vegas. Is she a colleague of his? Surely he wouldn't be that stupid.

Then another random thought occurred to me. Does Gary know?

He had to know. Adam told Gary everything. Then why didn't he tell me last week? He had plenty of time. I could've been moved out by the time Adam got back and avoided the confrontation.

That was the part that I was dreading the most. The confrontation. Adam had this way of making me feel bad any time I initiated conflict. He could always turn the situation around to be in his favor. By the time we were done arguing, I felt about two inches tall.

I'll just leave him without saying anything. I'll take tomorrow off and pack up my things. I can leave him a note. After he gets over the initial shock, if he wants to apologize, I'll let him.

***

I found it amazingly easy to pack my things and write that note. It was like a huge weight was being lifted from my shoulders. I'd never felt more sure about anything in my life.

The next day I got a call from Gary. I let it go to voicemail. I wasn't ready to make peace with him. The more I thought about Adam's cheating, the more I was convinced that Gary knew all along.

It all made sense. It was why Gary stayed so close to me while Adam was out of town. He was supposed to keep me occupied so I wouldn't bother Adam. And it was why Gary didn't exercise restraint in the tent, like he'd done before. He knew that my days with Adam were numbered. That fucking bastard.

I could almost forgive Adam for straying. Our sex life was practically non-existent. We were roommates, not lovers. But, Gary ... No way.

My cell dinged to let me know Gary had left a message. I reluctantly listened to it.

"Kate, Hi. I, uh, just got off the phone with Adam. He told me you've moved out. I, uh, don't know what to say. Does this have anything to do with what happened on our camping trip? I mean, cuz I haven't said a word to Adam about that. And I won't. I mean, he'd be madder at me than you. Call me, 'kay?"

I shook my head as I deleted his message. He's just trying to cover his tracks. He's afraid I'm going to tell Adam how his own best friend screwed around with his girlfriend. Shit. Give me a break.

I chuckled at the irony of it. I'd told Adam that I knew he was cheating around on me in the note. I guess he left that part out when he told Gary I left.

Well, good. Let Gary sweat it out. He deserves it after what he did to me.

***

I expected to hear from Adam, but after another two weeks had passed without so much as a phone call, I realized that it wasn't going to happen. Gary called me one more time, but didn't leave a message.

I was sorting through my email inbox at work when Tracy appeared behind me.

"You up for a night out?"

My breakup with Adam, and newly reinstated single status was common knowledge in the office. I swiveled in my chair and grinned up at her. "Yeah. Let's do it."

"Great. Why don't I swing by your place and pick you up. Your first night back out you'll probably drink too much."

"You're probably right about that. What should I wear?"

"Something sexy."

"Is a mini too dressy?"

"No, not at all. That's what I'm going to wear. We'll decide where to go when we meet up with Marie and Sasha. Marie has a crush on this bartender where we meet, so we usually have a couple of drinks there before moving on. Okay with you?"

"Yeah, sure."

We set the time that Tracy was going to pick me up, and then I began mentally sorting through my closet to decide on what I wanted to wear. It was a shame I didn't have a chance to go shopping for a new outfit.

Excitement over getting out of my drab and lonely apartment for one night had me babbling a mile a minute as Tracy drove. It wasn't until she shifted the car into park that I realized where we were. And who Marie had a crush on. Gary.

The thought of seeing him sent my nerves into overdrive. We hadn't spoken since ... well, basically since that night in the tent. A zinger shot to my clit at the thought of what we'd done. A mild flutter took root between my thighs.

I followed Tracy into the bar, tugging at my skirt with one hand and clutching my purse anxiously with the other. Marie was perched on one butt cheek and leaning over the bar to speak with Gary. Judging from the way she flipped her hair when she spoke, she wasn't placing a drink order.

A sickly feeling engulfed me. I nearly tripped over my own feet, causing enough of a racket with my heels to draw their attention. Marie swiveled on her stool and waved. "Tracy, Kate!"

Gary stood upright, his mouth slightly agape as he watched us approach.

"You can give your drink orders to Gary, here."

I cringed when she said his name. The flirty way it rolled off her tongue made every jealous bone in my body take aim. And then I remembered something.

I glared over at Gary. I'm mad at you, you son of a bitch.

Gary picked up on my facial expression right away and frowned back at me, asking me what was wrong with his eyes. I shook my head to indicate that now is not the time, and ordered a glass of the house white wine.

He delivered our drinks and started to step away from our group when Marie beckoned him back. I'd witnessed the same scene play out dozens of times when Adam and I visited Gary at work. It was always an attached woman, though. Not a young, pretty, single girl like Marie. There was nothing stopping him from hooking up with her. Except me, dammit!

I gulped my wine and clenched my jaw as I watched her touch his arm. She giggled. She flipped her hair. She tilted her head and ogled him through her lashes. Another drink and it wouldn't surprise me if she hoisted herself up on the bar for him.

Get a grip, Kate! He's not your boyfriend. NOT. YOURS.

I excused myself to go to the restroom. I needed to take a break from the Marie-in-heat scene in front of me. I dashed out the side door by the restrooms that I knew wasn't actually rigged to an alarm like the sign claimed. Gary had informed us of that one night when we parked in back. It saved us from walking all the way around the building.

When I heard the door open behind me, I didn't have to turn to know it was Gary. He knew where I'd gone.

"You never called me back."

I shook my head, not bothering to turn around and look at him. There were things I needed to say, and I knew the words would come much easier if I didn't have to look him in the eye.

"You look fantastic, by the way."

I shut my eyes, trying not to let the tears form. "You lied to me. You knew that Adam was having an affair and you didn't tell me."

I held my breath and waited. I wanted him to deny it and convince me that he really didn't know. I wanted so badly for things to be different than they were. "He told me right after he got back from Vegas."

I released the breath I was holding. "Not before?"

"No. He wasn't ... well, I'm not sure about before. If he was seeing her then, he didn't tell me."

"Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were friends."

"We still are friends. I hope. But Adam and I have been best friends since grade school. What was I supposed to do?"

I shook my head.

"I wanted to tell you, Kate. I probably would've if we'd spent any time together after I found out. But, to be honest with you, I avoided seeing you. I didn't want to betray Adam's trust. Please turn around and talk to me."

I turned on my heel. My arms were firmly folded across my abdomen.

"Can you imagine how it would've sounded coming from me? After I'd kissed you on your stoop, barely refrained from taking you our last night at Adam's place, and then the tent. After what we shared. Would you have believed me, even?"

I pondered the question. Maybe not. I might've thought he was making it up, without any evidence to suggest otherwise. I shrugged and then shook my head.

"Listen, I've got to get back to work."

I nodded and sighed. It felt like all my bones had suddenly fallen out of my limbs. It felt so good to be talking with Gary again. My eyes narrowed as I approached where he was standing. "What is up with you and Marie?"

Gary tilted his head and smiled at me. "Are you jealous?"

"No." I answered just a tad too quickly and felt the need to justify it. "I'm not jealous."

Gary swung the door open and ushered me inside. "Too bad."

***

I tried not to overanalyze the last words Gary spoke to me that night. It didn't matter one way or another. I could be as attracted to Gary, or as jealous as I wanted, and none of that would change the fact that he wouldn't ask me out on a date. Not as long as Adam was around and they were still friends. Which was going to be a lifetime.

I went out with the girls. We danced. We laughed. We drank. And Tracy dropped me off at my own apartment, where I slept in my own bed. Alone.

The following weeks flew by fast. Tracy and I became great friends. I was careful to avoid Gary by meeting the girls after they'd decided which club to head toward. Marie eventually grew tired of hitting on Gary and receiving nothing more than a flash of white teeth in return. She even slipped him her phone number, but he claimed not to have seen it next time she asked. He was being as gentle about it as he could.

I was being super careful about who I got attached to. I didn't want to waste another half year of my life on someone who couldn't make me feel like Gary had made me feel that dark night in that tent. It didn't seem worth it. But the men were proving to be less than worthy in that department. No better than Adam, when it came right down to it.

I wondered if I'd imagined it. Or if the sex was just intensified by the fact that we shouldn't have been doing it in the first place. Just inches from my boyfriend. I hated to think I was developing some kind of fetish.

I was dressed in my outfit, ready to head out for the evening. It was a new number that I'd picked up from a sale rack at Dillard's. It made me feel great about myself. I swiveled left and right, staring at my full length mirror and admiring how the fabric clung to my hips. Then my doorbell rang.

Am I riding with Tracy tonight? I don't remember ... I swung my door open and found myself face-to-face with Gary.

"What are you doing here?"

It was neither the smoothest nor friendliest of greetings. I was stunned to see him standing there. Especially since he didn't know where I lived. And the only way he could find out was ...

"Adam gave me your address. Can I come in?"

Still stunned and not sure what to make of this information, I stepped to the side and motioned for him to enter.

"Do you have plans?"

I looked down at my outfit and then back up to him. "Yeah, I'm supposed to meet the girls in 30 minutes."

"You look good. Hot, actually."

I managed to blush at his compliment. "I can't believe you're here. I mean, how did you...?"

"How did I ask Adam?"

"Yeah. What reason did you give him?"

"I, uh, can we sit down and talk? This feels awkward."

I heaved a sigh and chuckled at the same time. It did feel awkward. "You want a glass of wine?"

Gary smiled and nodded. "I'd love one."

I ambled to the kitchen to get the glasses, aware that his gaze followed my every step.

"Your place is bigger than Adam's."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, most apartments are bigger than Adam's." I handed Gary a glass of wine and then led him to the living area. We sat on opposite ends of the sofa.

"I came clean with Adam."

I choked on my sip of wine. "What do you mean?"

"I told him about the incident in the tent."

"Oh, shit. What did he say?"

"Not much. He's moved on."

I nodded and sighed. I couldn't even feel upset about that anymore. I was totally over him. I mentally wished him good luck and took another sip of my wine.

"I asked him if he would mind if you and I dated. That is, if you'll have me."

I sputtered more wine, not expecting another surprise after the last bomb he dropped. This one caused me to hack and cough in an utterly embarrassing display.

I set my wine on the table and dabbed my nose with a tissue as I recovered. "I'm so sorry. You caught me totally off guard. Do you have any more shocking things to say?"

Gary grinned. "Probably."

My head started swimming like I was drunk. I didn't know what to say. I'd not even dared to imagine this moment. I'd hoped for it a thousand times, but couldn't picture it.

I glanced over at his expectant expression. Is he expecting me to say something?

"I'm not sure ... are you asking me out?"

"Yes. Well, sort of. I mean, we're kind of past the whole dating thing. Right?"

"I guess so. I don't know. Where do we start?"

Gary reached out his hand and I placed mine in it. "How 'bout we start with that kiss that ended too soon?"

I could feel the heated flush work up my neck and over my cheeks.

"Then when we think we have that pretty down pat, we should go camping. I have a whole list of things we could do, conjured up from a sleepless night I had last May."