Alexis

'Perils of being outdoorsy', I manage. Then I sit up and stretch. Lexi makes protesting noises but I ignore her; I need a drink to help blunt the nervous energy I've picked up during the course of the afternoon. I pour myself a double of the good stuff, and shoot Lexi a glance. She hrms, then nods. So a double for her too. I manage to walk back to the couch without embarrassing myself and resume my seat. I hold up Lexi's poison and she accepts it gracefully. 'Cheers', I say.

'Health, wealth and beauty' she returns.

Whisky on an empty stomach is far from the best idea I've ever had, but it burns its way pleasantly downwards. Soon, the ache in my head starts to wane and I feel myself relaxing again. I lean back, putting more weight against Lexi. She shifts herself around a bit and then settles down, and we watch the fire.

---

'So who was the girl you liked?' Lexi asks.

I smile wanly at the memory. 'Her name was Simone. She was a visiting student from Holland.'

'Pretty?'

'I thought so. You know how tall Dutch girls are. And she had this beautiful cornflower blond hair. Kind of like yours. Grey-blue eyes. Lovely breasts.'

Lexi laughs at this. 'Do you think she was interested?' she asks me.

'I dunno, Lex. I can't cold read people. But she seemed to always be chatty; tried to get me to go running with her once or twice but it never worked out. Maybe she was just being friendly.'

'You wanted more, though.'

'I nearly failed English Literature because of her. I could watch her for hours. I think she caught me looking once or twice.'

'And?'

'She didn't seem bothered.'

Lexi sighs. 'You should have tried at least, Robs.'

'Shoulda, woulda, coulda,' I sigh back.

'Defeatist', Lexi mutters. She shifts, and I feel her leaning forward. She puts a hand under my chin and gently lifts my head back so she can look at me. 'Next time, jump first, doubt second,' she instructs from on high.

'Yes Ma'am' I drawl. We laugh, mine bittersweet.

'I'm better off alone, anyway' I say after a while.

'Nobody's better off alone, Robs' Lexi disagrees. 'We're social, loving creatures. We need to be loved and cherished. Life is hard enough without forcing loneliness on yourself.'

'I'm not actively forcing it on myself, Lex. Just... very choosey about what I want, I suppose.'

'Choosy? Or too shy to take what's offered?'

'Maybe a bit of both.'

Lexi nudges me. 'Oi. Move over, I need to stand up.' I oblige and she slithers out past me. She stands, and stretches as before. I idly wonder if she's aware of how hot it makes her look. She must be. Lexi's aware of things like that.

'I'm tired of hard tack', she says. 'If you and I are going to have a proper chin-wag, it's going to be over wine.' She wanders off to the kitchen, and I hear her rummaging. She returns with a bottle of red and some of our battered everyday glasses, into which she decants the Syrah she chose.

(We consider it a point of pride to never be without wine. One never knows when an emergency glass is called for.)

Lexi hands my share down to me, then turns and sits down on the floor next to me, scooting right up next to me as if we're children. Shoulder to shoulder we sit, sipping.

'So why so shy, Robs?' she asks. 'We've established that you're hot, intelligent, fascinating, loving, and that representatives of the Dutch nation want to shag you silly.'

'I dunno, Lexi. I guess... I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt.'

'You can't learn to run without falling once or twice.'

'True, but I'd prefer to learn to run somewhere where I won't break bones.'

'Mm. So who's your fantasy girl, then?'

'Oh god... um. Natalie Portman.'

'Her?' Lexi makes a face. 'She's a great actress, but she's a little cuckoo for my tastes.'

'Crazy is interesting,' I disagree. The wine is warming me and making me more talkative. It's nice. Lexi is easy to talk to.

'So what makes you like her?' Lexi asks, intrigued.

'Her ass', I say without thinking.

Lexi screams with laughter. 'God, Robs, you shoulda been born a guy.'

'Woulda made things easier,' I mutter, shamefaced.

'So, what about her ass?'

'God, Lexi, I dunno. It's just...'

'A perfect example of ass?'

'You're filthy,' I laugh. 'No... look, it's the entire package, ok? She's hot, intelligent, artsy, can act, has a nice sense of style, but isn't so ridiculously attractive as to be entirely out of reach.'

'Personally, I prefer Jodie Foster', Lexi says.

I turn and give her a look. She stares at her wine, thinking. 'Yeah, Jodie. Girl next door, slender, looks approachable, not a porcelain doll but a real woman. I'd do her.'

My jaw drops. Lexi turns her head and notices. 'Shut your mouth, Robs, you'll catch flies.'

'Sorry, just processing that,' I say.

'You think too much, that's your problem.' Lexi says. 'Learn to just listen to the music and watch the dance; stop trying to understand it or predict what's going to happen next.'

Lexi puts her wineglass down, turns back towards me, and then suddenly reaches out her arm and pulls me closer. She looks deep into my eyes, and then before I can even think, she darts her head in and kisses me, full on the lips. I jerk, surprised, and Lexi breaks off.

'See?' she says, as she takes my wineglass and sets it besides hers. She turns back to me, and gives me a wide smile, before slowly moving in again. This time I'm expecting it, but the experience is so strange that I'm totally unable to respond at first. She pulls me even closer, and I reflexively part my lips. Before I can understand what's happening, I'm kissing her, my arm clenched behind her and hers cupping the back of my head gently.

She breaks off for air, and I gasp a shaky breath.

'I rest my case,' she says, and she breaks free and picks up her wineglass to drain it. 'And now you know what it's like.'

'Holy shit, Lexi,' I manage.

'Nice, isn't it?'

'Wow.'

'Now you're loved and kissed, and as the bard said, two out of three ain't bad.'

I run my tongue over my tingling lips and then trace them with a fingertip; Lexi watches me with amusement, then leans her head against my shoulder and resumes watching the fire.

It takes a while for what she's just done to really register. A small part of me is kicking and screaming about being kissed like that by my sister, while a much larger part of me is just awed that my sister kissed me like that.

'Penny for your thoughts,' she asks.

'Confused. Conflicted.'

'Conflicted how?'

'That was the hottest thing ever. But you're my sister.'

'So good and bad, then.'

'Some people would say so, yeah.'

'But not you?'

'I'm still too lost in how good it felt to be able to deal with the morality of it.'

Lexi chuckles. 'I'll take that as a compliment.'

'Please, do. My head's still spinning. Think I need to lie down.'

'Stay right there,' says Lexi. She gets up and grabs blankets and pillows and makes us a space between the couch and the fire. She sits down on the blanket, then beckons me. I choose the right hand side and slowly ease myself down, trying not to aggravate my head. Lexi lies down to my left, then rolls over towards me and regards me, with a sort of half-smile.

'What?' I ask, suspiciously.

'I'd just always wondered what it was like to kiss a girl, is all.'

'And?' I ask. 'Was it what you expected?'

'Better,' she says. 'No stubble.'

I snort, and Lexi grins. Then she slides down a bit and lets her head down onto the pillows, still facing me. After a few moments silence, I roll over to face her. We lie, looking at each other, and I listen to her breathing. Suddenly, on a whim, I reach out to stroke her cheek.

She tucks her face into my hand and squeezes it gently against her shoulder, before releasing it. Emboldened, I trail my fingertips down along her neck to her shoulder, and notice goose bumps appearing behind them. Lexi shifts slightly, moving her head a bit closer.

As I reach the collar of her top, she shivers slightly.

'Lexi?', I ask.

'Yeah?'

'I really want to kiss you again.'

She smiles a languid smile, and then reaches out to wrap her topmost arm around me, pulling me in closer. As she does so I realise, belatedly, that I'm not wearing underwear and that my nipples are really hard. I'm pretty sure she notices this, but she makes no comment.

Soon I can feel all of her against me, and I struggle to think of a time that I've felt as happy.

Her lips are soft, and she uses a melon lip-gloss that I've always been able to smell but until now haven't tasted. I awkwardly put my free hand on her back to give me something to hold onto, then cannot resist sliding it further down, expecting protest but receiving none.

Lexi's lips part, and after a moment of confusion I let mine follow her lead. She slowly explores and teases me with her tongue, becoming more insistent, and I can feel my heart racing.

I groan, then I have to break for air, and to gasp out a 'wow.' I duck my head and tuck it under her chin, and she pulls me hard against her again.

'You ok?' she whispers.

'Overwhelmed. Never felt this way before.'

'Then let me hold you till you've worked out what you're feeling.'

She clasps me to her, then rolls onto her back and worms her right arm under my head, pulling me against her side and resting my head on her shoulder. I can't think of anything to say; I'm consumed by my proximity to her, the feel of the soft swell of her breast touching mine, the dark undercurrent of helpess aching need I feel.

'I could get used to this,' I say, stupidly. She makes no answer, but reaches round to pull my hand across her body to clasp it against her midriff.

'So now what?' I say, softly.

'Now, we chat.'

'After that? I don't think I can form proper sentences anymore.'

She turns her head to give me an amused look. 'Lightweight.'

'Inexperienced, remember.'

'Doing quite well despite that,' she says.

'Really?' I respond, intrigued.

'Let’s just say my body's impressed and leave it at that.'

I groan, and squeeze my legs together hard. So is mine, I want to say, but I can't summon the courage. But I suspect she knows anyway.

'So why me, here, now?'

'Because,' she answers. 'I needed the attention and I think you did too.'

'Even though I'm your sister?'

'Especially since. I know you, I love you, and in your current state you can't run.' She gives me a mischievous grin.

'No fair, preying on the wounded.'

'I didn't hear you complaining.', she retorts.

I lie quietly, watching her breasts rise and fall as she breathes. My thoughts are churning furiously. Neither of us are sozzled, and Lexi's clearly in full control of herself.

And yet... the entire situation seems like a dream. I'll freely admit to frequent fantasies about her, but the actual physical reality of it is overloading my ability to function. All I can smell is her, all I can feel is her.

She suddenly wiggles her arm loose from under me and I make an involuntary complaining noise.

She smiles. 'Sorry, Robs, losing circulation to my arms. I'll be right back.'

---

Lexi tucks a pillow under my head, and then disappears for a while, leaving me to my thoughts. I can't resist, once she leaves I slip my hand down to touch myself, and my legs spasm as my fingertip brushes over my clit. I'm thoroughly soaked; even the crotch of my tracksuit pants is damp.

I shudder, then withdraw my hand. Lexi could be back any moment and I don't need the additional weirdness of her catching me playing with myself on top of everything else that's happened today. So I sit up, scoot over to the fireplace and rake the coals together. I build up the fire again, laying in plenty of wood so that it will warm and light the room. Then I look to the windows.

Twilight has fallen outside. I rub my arms, feeling the chill, and gaze ruefully down at myself. I'm a bit mortified to see that Lexi took me to the A&E in a faded purple school tracksuit, but then I mentally shrug; needs must.

I find myself thinking about what we just did. My heart races again, and I can feel myself flushing. Kissing my sister was incredibly, mind-blowingly gratifying... but I realise that it's opened Pandora's box.

I snort, realising the pun. Then I catch myself once again thinking of Lexi's floor show this afternoon. My nipples harden, and the ache between my legs returns and intensifies. I ruefully look down at the now-visible damp spot at my crotch.

'What you doing?', asks Lexi. I jump and spin on my bum to look at her; she walks like a cat and has once again snuck up on me.

I take a breath to answer, but then lose fine motor control. Lexi's in a very thin, sheer nightgown.

She laughs. 'Surprised?'

'I'm so far out of my depth I can't see the shore anymore.'

Lexi squats down, showing a length of pale thigh, and pours wine from the bottle she's carrying into both our glasses. Then she puts the bottle aside, and sits, cross-legged. I catch the brief flash of her white underwear before the folds of the nightgown fall down between her legs.

'Come over here, Robs,' she says, patting the floor next to her.

'That's a bad idea, Lex,' I say. 'I might do something stupid.'

'Such as?' she asks, arching an eyebrow at me.

'Hold that thought,' I say. I head for the stairs, and, gripping the banister tightly, climb them and make my way to my room. I strip off my soiled clothes, and dig a long tee-shirt and some briefs out of my cupboard. On a whim, I grab some deodorant and dose myself with it. I pull on the briefs, and then struggle into the tee-shirt. Then I touch my bandages gently to ensure they're still in place. I take a deep breath.

---

Lexi's waiting for me when I get downstairs. She's built the pillows up into a large pile and is leaning against them, watching the fire. I stand in the doorway, and just look at her for a while, admiring. Then I walk to the blankets and sit down alongside her.

'You smell nice', she says, as she hands me my refilled wineglass. 'And the outfit is an improvement.'

'You dressed me, so the blame is yours for the prior one.'

'Guilty as charged,' she says. 'You look good in briefs. They sit nicely on you.'

I flush slightly and stammer out a 'Thanks' as I sit beside her. She turns slightly to watch me, but I keep my eyes on the fire. I can hear my heart hammering away, and need a pause for sanity.

'What are you thinking, Robyn?'

'That I've got heart palpitations and butterflies in my stomach because of you.'

'Hah', she answers. 'Well, if it helps, so do I.'

'Why?' I ask.

'Because I'm supposed to be the older, serious, responsible one. And then I went upstairs to change into something which was calculated to escalate things.'

'It has. I commend you.'

She laughs. 'You like it?'

She puts a hand to the hem and slides it further up her thighs. I try not to stare, then I shake my head and laugh ruefully. 'You're going to kill me for reals, Lexi.'

'You'll die happy.'

'True.' I clink my glass against hers. 'So why pick on poor little me?'

'Because I can. And because I can trust you.'

'Trust me?'

'Of course. You'd never tell anyone my secrets.'

'I'd die first.' I answer, seriously.

'I know. I hope you know that it works both ways.'

'I know.'

Lexi scoots over towards me, hip to my hip, and stretches out her legs in front of her. The hem of her nightgown is now no longer doing anything for modesty. She shoots me a knowing glance, and smiles. 'Look as much as you want.'

'Pity that touching the display is not allowed.'

'Says who?'

'Gallery policy. Patrons are not to touch the art works.'

Lexi throws back her head and laughs, then reaches over to grab my left hand. She places it on her right upper thigh, and then releases it. She lounges backwards and watches me.

'Lexi' I say, quietly, seriously.

'Yeah?' she answers.

'My self control is almost gone. If I take this step... it's big. I won't be able to let go. Do you understand? This is your last chance.'

She gives me a serious look, and takes a breath.

'Robs. I'm lonely. I need to be loved and appreciated. You give me a home to come home to. You give me unconditional love. You're the closest person in the world to me, and always will be. Why should I want artificial boundaries on that closeness?' She sighs. 'Are you telling me you don't want this?' She wiggles her legs back and forth slightly.

'I want it more than I can put into words. But... I'm scared. I'm terrified that you'll want a normal life some day. I won't be able to give you up if I don't stop now.'

'Robyn Emily Blake, you are my normal life.'

I feel an ache in my chest, and before I know it I'm crying again. Stupid, stupid Robyn. What the hell is wrong with you, chick.

'Oh Robs,' says Lexi. She pulls me hard against her and holds me as I cry. 'Shh, Robs, shh.'

'God, Lexi, I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me today.' I hiccough.

'Too much drama', she whispers, and kisses my tears away. Then she cups my chin and lifts it, starting to kiss me. I feel my body respond, and I slump slowly back against the pillows. I wrap an arm around her again, feeling her move in close to me. I can feel her breasts against me, and her thigh as she slides it gently over mine. I gasp for air, my pulse thumping. Lexi pushes harder against me, and I moan. She hooks her left calf over my right thigh and pulls my hip hard against her lower belly.

I slide my hand down her lower back and over her thigh, then back up and under her nightgown. Goosebumps; I can feel goosebumps as I slip my hand further, past the waistband of her cute white panties and up, feeling the taut muscles of her back.

She whimpers, and slides her hand from my chin down my neck and past my collarbone. I feel like there are electric sparks under my skin, following the path of her fingers down as she teases over my breasts to the erect nub of my right nipple, which is achingly hard and blatantly obvious through the flimsy fabric of my tee-shirt.

The breath hisses between my teeth as her fingers close on it and start to tease around it. Without thinking I slide my hand around her ribs and almost before I know it the soft swell of her right breast is cupped in my hand. A small part of me is surprised that she isn't wearing a bra.

Lexi whimpers a quiet 'Oh god' as I touch her and tease her own nipple in sympathy of her teasing of mine, and my desire for her is a burning ache. She slides her hand under my shirt, but then suddenly stops to wriggle free. She slips her hands under the hem of my tee-shirt and in a single fluid movement lifts it up and off me, causing me to wince slightly as it snags on my hair and bandages. Then the breath is driven out of me again as Lexi dives forward to enfold my right nipple between her lips and my left between her deft fingers.

It is exquisite. She toys with me with finger and tongue, and I see stars. I must be moaning because she breaks off to kiss me. Then she, too, is topless; her nightie crumpled next to us and her bare skin against mine; her nipples hard against my sternum as she crushes me into a hug while kissing me.

I feel deranged, burning with desire for her. I manage to push her away, and as she starts to protest my lips are on her breasts - I am vaguely amused to her the complaints turn into inarticulate whimpers as I trace my tongue gently around her areolas. She is covered in a very slight sheen of sweat now and her body's natural scent is rising - it is intoxicating.

She throws her left leg over me and rolls on top, straddling me as she locks her arms behind me and pulls my head against her. But I need air, and break away, and she collapses forward too. We lie there, her on top of me with her head resting on my shoulder, me staring at the flickering flames on the ceiling.