All Grown Up Ch. 01bysimply_cyn©
I was one of those girls that hadn't quite developed until they went off to college and then, suddenly, it seemed the summer before classes started in the fall, I blossomed into one of those girls I had always envied. My long dishwater blonde hair seemed to shimmer and flow down my back like a Greek goddess. I had talked my mother into trading in my glasses for some contacts and now my sapphire blue eyes were more vibrant, more becoming on my oval shaped face. My body had seemed to be stuck in gangly girl mode ... all legs and nothing else but over the summer, my torso seemed to lengthen out and catch up with my legs; curves appeared and my breasts swelled out enough to get some attention.
All of this happened, of course, while my best friend was away at college already. Ryan was two years older than me and had been the object of my affections since junior high but he had always treated me more like a little sister, overly protective of me even through my geeky gangly days. I hadn't seen him at all in over a year because he hadn't made it home that summer break. He was busy working coupled with his Greek life in the fraternity world. He had been voted vice president of his fraternity which was kinda more like the unspoken leader because to hear him tell it, the president was more of a figure head as he wasn't the "brightest brick on the block". So his duties took over having fun sometimes with having to do most of the administrative duties, whatever that entailed. I wasn't really sure.
But we had wound up at the same college, probably because more than anything, I wanted to be near him again. Don't get me wrong, it was a top notch college and academically, I would get an excellent education. My father made sure of that. But mostly, I just wanted to be near Ryan again and a lot of our friends from high school were there as well so it would be like "coming home". But even with all of the changes I had gone through, Ryan still saw me as this geeky girl that used to follow him around in high school and not much had changed. I still pinned after him longingly but he was too busy to notice. Oh, he still had his ways of trying to protect me, acting all brotherly when, secretly, I just wanted him to kiss me. So I had become something like a "lil sis" to his fraternity, becoming more of a pretty decoration at the parties and it was getting old.
"In here, you dimwits!" Ryan called out, teasing as usual, as me and my pack of girls made our way through the front entrance of the fraternity. It was one of those usual parties after the Saturday night football games at the Omega house so protocol demanded that we be there. My entourage usually waited a little later to make an entrance but tonight for some reason we showed up a bit earlier. A few kegs littered the tables and the refrigerators were packed with beer. I could see a few girls moving through the quickly growing crowd with trays of Jell-O shots and such. There was a group of guys sitting in the den watching replays of the game before the biggest portion of the crowd arrived. I could see Ryan sitting amongst them.
"Come on, Mannie," Chelsea said, using my nickname from high school as I leaned across one of the bars, casting a saucy wink to the cute guy behind it as he handed me my usual ... an ice cold watermelon Smirnoff in a bottle.
"Thanks," I cooed, catching his appreciative glance down my body as I turned to follow the girls into the main room where Ryan and his group were sitting. I was wearing a pair of faded tight jeans that I had cut off at the waist, letting it fringe naturally but I had almost cut too much off as they hung dangerously low on my hips, a good portion of my hips and flat belly exposed. It was still early Fall so I had worn a wife-beater tank top, a simple white ribbed one that had shrunk a bit and was probably too small but with my blossoming body, it looked great. My tits were still tight so I had chosen to go without a bra tonight. Sometimes those things are just a nuisance!
I sipped on my drink, watching quietly. I was never really one to stand out in my group. I tended to stay quiet and hang back in the crowd while my friends immediately were snatched up by guys and hauled into laps with a laugh. But if I was honest with myself and admitted it, I was probably the one that most of the guys would like to steer upstairs if they dared. I think with Ryan taking such a protective stance over me for so many years, no one really wanted to cross that line between me and him. I saw Ryan turn his head, a smile appearing as he saw me. "Hey kid," he said in a deep drawl. His voice had really changed over the last couple of years ... "How's your head feeling after yesterday?" I had drank probably a little too much last night at another party ... I'm pretty much known for being a light weight drinker.
I looked at him, my blue eyes twinkling in amusement beneath the errant tendrils of blonde hair that kept trying to fall into my face. I pushed one back behind my ear as my head tilted slightly to the left, an involuntary way I have always had of flirting without really knowing I was doing it. "You know me," I quipped, "I don't really get a hangover." And for the most part, I didn't. I usually just kept to my fruity drinks, even though I had heard that the alcohol content in them was higher than a beer but I usually stuck to just one, maaaaybe two at the most.
His lips upturned, gaping a little to show a line of white as his eyes focused on mine. I could totally get lost in his dark green penetrating gaze. I felt my stomach do a little flutter as I looked at him. Why couldn't he see me like I was now? "I'm always surprised," he said with a grin, "your body weight should make you pass out after one of your fruity little chick drinks there." And for emphasis, he nodded towards my bottle.
"Who said I didn't ever pass out?" I quipped back, tossing my blonde hair over my shoulder with a grin before slithering into the lap of one of Ryan's friends, knowing full well it drove them insane because I knew, if given the chance, they would cop a feel in an instant but wouldn't dare with Ryan watching. I looked at Ryan with a grin as I felt the guy's arm snake around my waist unceremoniously as he commented on the game on the big screen. "Still playing police, huh Ryan?" I teased him.
His gentle smile in my direction always made my whole insides turn into a pool of mush and now was no different as he said, "No ... watching out for the girl who always needed protecting since she was fourteen and a geek with horn-rimmed glasses." I knew he was borderline teasing me, tormenting me of the past that I so desperately wanted to just forget and I felt my whole body stiffen, causing the guy who's lap I adorned to look at me and then Ryan.
Ryan looked unruffled as he sat sideways in the armed chair, his well muscled legs resting over the side as he looked at me sitting in Jon's lap, the guy's pained expression not unnoticed to have a gorgeous girl in his lap that he couldn't really touch. I frowned, hearing the guy that I secretly longed for refer to me as being a geek, seeing that no matter how much I try, he just isn't going to see me any other way. Sliding an arm around Jon's shoulder, I leaned in close to tease him, feeling Ryan's eyes watching as my young breasts crushed against the guy's chest as I said, "Do you think I look like a geek, Jon?"
Ryan frown some as a teasing smile kissed my moist, berry-stained lips. But then he flashed that gorgeous smile of his again as he laughed, saying, "You forget, Jon didn't know you in high school but hey, I can break out the pictures if you would like!" As I stiffened at his quip, little did I know just how interested he was in watching the way I was acting with Jon. Ryan actually knew me better than I had realized ... knowing how I loved to use guys in an innocent way and bend them to my will but he had, unknowingly to me, finally noticed that I was not the girl I used to be but was hoping that all of my innocence wasn't lost. He loved the girl that I used to be as much as the women that I had become but something held him back.
We had attracted a small crowd of onlookers with our teasing and I looked at him pleadingly before sliding out of Jon's lap, hearing the guy almost groan in protest or expel a sigh of relief as I had really started to cause an uncomfortable problem in his jeans. With a haughty toss of blonde hair, I moved further into the room to the dance floor beyond, not really sure how to come back to Ryan's comment about the pictures as my little entourage of girls fell in step behind me, some guys in tow.
Ryan bit his lip as he stared after Amanda's retreating form though not necessarily at her or the way her body moved. It was as if a part of him refused to see her as the woman she had morphed into. But rather, into space as it were only coming back around when Jon asked, "So how was she in high school?"
Shaking his head a bit to clear it, Ryan laughed a small laugh accompanied with a shrug as he said, "Just as testy as ever. Cute ... but not what you would call sexy. She's grown up ..." he finally admitted, letting his words trail off as he glanced again in the direction Amanda had gone.
I moved onto the dance floor with my Smirnoff, somewhat steamed from the whole idea that he would even THINK of showing everyone what I used to look like. In many ways I was still unsure of myself or even if I had outgrown that stage, mostly because guys seemed to take a hands-off approach with me. I wasn't sure if it was because they, themselves, were afraid of being rejected but maybe ... maybe I hadn't changed that much after all. I was still insecure and hadn't really had any experiences to mold my views of my body much differently so I concentrated, at least for tonight, on dancing these foreboding feelings away ... getting lost in the music and the flow of free drinks that surrounded me.
The hours seemed to slip away as we enjoyed the party in our own ways. Ryan spent most of his time mingling with the crowd ... duties as an officer of the fraternity I suppose, while I spent my time drinking and dancing away the thought of being a geeky dork the rest of my life. I hadn't really seen him in the last hour or so until, by chance, we wound up on the dance floor together. He had been dancing with an ex-girlfriend until she was taken by another guy when a slow dance came on and as he turned to leave, I turned as well, looking for my own new partner. We had almost collided and then just kinda stood there a moment, looking into each other's eyes as the lights began to dim and the music started.
I wasn't really sure what to say at first so instead a giggle erupted from the drinks and the nervous butterflies I could feel in my belly. "Wow, I'm sorry Ryan," I said, trying to make up for nearly plowing him over. I couldn't help notice the way other couples were snuggling in together, swaying to the music as their hands started to roam over their partner. In that moment, the mood of the whole dance floor shifted dramatically from playful antics to more of a sexy, laidback one.
My eyes were drawn back to Ryan as his teeth worried with his bottom lip again, something he usually did when he was thinking seriously about something and then I was surprised when he offered his hands to me, his voice low as he said, "Dance?" I smiled a bit, suddenly glad I didn't have another drink in my hand as I slipped them into his. "I want to talk to you anyway," he added.
I glanced up at his handsome face with a wry smile as his fingers closed over mine. "What'd I do now?" I couldn't help but tease him some.
Ryan sighed softly before his smile appeared again. "Nothing," he said, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for bringing up your past. You're not that girl anymore." I couldn't help but look surprised at hearing those words come out of his mouth, my eyes on his handsome face. "The past is the past," he continued, "and let's not think about it ... not in the negative anyway." And then he smiled at me and I returned the smile as the butterflies took flight in my belly again and I moved instinctively closer in his arms as we began to dance.
I dared a glance up at him again for a moment, seeing his eyes on my face as my hands rested on his hips. We moved in time with the music and I followed his lead naturally. I basked in this moment with him for a moment before I finally said, "I know ... it's just ... weird. I don't know why I get so upset about it. I'm sorry for being such a baby sometimes."
One side of his mouth turned upwards into an ironic smile and I could feel it coming before it even came out of his mouth. "Why, you are a baby ... age wise," he teased. I couldn't help the frown even though I knew he just liked getting the best of me. Ryan had always liked teasing me when it came to being younger than him and I tore my gaze away from his smile to glance around at the couples dancing around us. I couldn't stop that part of me from wondering why no one ever saw me as someone that they would really like to be with.
My fingers tightened some on his hips involuntarily as I tried to tease back, but starting to feel very much alone as I say, "Yeah ... yeah, I know. I'll always be the baby where you are concerned."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him move his head to catch my gaze. "Hey, what does that mean?" he asked, a slight frown furrowing his brows.
I glanced back up, catching his eyes and then smiled a tiny, wistful smile before turning my head again to press my cheek to his shoulder. "Nothing", I whispered, not really knowing that I meant by it as well. More than likely it meant that a secret part of me had always followed him around because I wanted him to see me more than just that geeky younger girl that he had befriended.
I could feel as well as hear his sigh as his arms wrapped tighter around me, pulling my body to his as the music continued its slow pace for a small while. "Well," he began, his voice soft to my ear, "when you want to explain it, you know I'm here to listen ... just like always." I relaxed some in his arms, lost in the moment I had with him and the dance. I could feel my mind whirling some from the effects of the alcohol and the dimly lit room, but mostly because of this overwhelming feeling I had for him to love me.
I was confused at the swirl of feelings that were welling up inside of me, like the first time I had met Ryan and the crush I had developed. But I had hid it because he had always been more popular, more gorgeous than me and I had always felt inadequate even though he had gone out of this way to make me feel a part. As the song ended, I pulled away, saying, "I think I need something to drink", and before he could react, sashayed back across the dance floor, blowing a nonchalant kiss towards the d.j. I just needed to get away from him for a moment. I felt like I was gonna cry.
He called after her retreating form, "Just don't drink too much, you light weight!" and she just kinda waved a hand in the air as if to wave it off before catching a moving tray of Jell-O shots. Knowing better than to mix drinks but at the moment, I really didn't give a shit. It seemed like the perfect thing to do, considering how I was feeling.
Pulling off a couple of small cups, I downed them to the laughter of one the guys calling out, "Bottoms up, Amanda!"
With a grin, I tossed the empty cups at him before feeling the strong hands of yet another fraternity brother pull me down into his lap. "Wanna play, Mannie?" I heard him say as I looked down to see a game of quarters in progress. Ryan had been watching, the protective side in him coming out as he made a beeline for the game table. As I teetered on Chris' lap, he grabbed a beer and took a seat to watch.
I smiled softly at him ... I couldn't help myself. But then I blinked as I suddenly found the quarter in my hand. Chris' voice seemed to come from far away as he said, "Okay Mannie, let's see you get it in on the first try."
I grinned something like the Cheshire Cat from the old fairy tale, Alice in Wonderland, as I held the quarter up to my nose and leaned forward a bit, lining it up with the small glass filled with alcohol. Letting it roll off and sending a quick prayer upwards that it would bounce before actually making it into the glass so I could pass my round, a roar of laughter lifted into the air like a rocket taking off as it made it in. Licking my finger and cutting the air like a pro, I beamed proudly, saying, "No prob."
Ryan grinned as he took the quarter. "If that's what you call it," he smirked and easily made it into the glass, his turn passing by that quickly. "Better luck next time, right?" he quipped.
I cocked an eyebrow at him from across the table, taking it as a personal challenge even as the guy on whose lap I sat started to bounce me up and down some. I know I must have made a lovely looking face to accompany the way I was starting to feel the effects of the Smirnoffs and Jell-O shots. And then before I could calm my stomach, that damned quarter found its way back to my hand again as I tried desperately not to get sick from the dizzy spell I found myself having. I tried my tell-tale signature move again only to have the quarter bounce off the rim and onto the table. I grimaced as the chanting began; five shots of tequila suddenly pushed my way. "Mannie, Mannie, Mannie ..." It went on and on until I threw them back slowly, one by one.
Ryan sighed heavily as he resignedly watched her down the drinks, slowly this time before he said, "Take it easy, Amanda. You're mixing shots and those dumb fruit drinks. You're gonna ruin the new wood on the floor if you throw up." Like DUH ... why doesn't he ever tell me something I DON'T know! I knew he was teasing but as I looked at him from across the table over the rim of the last shot, the buzzing in my head was begging to grow louder than the music and antics of the party.
Teetering a bit on Chris' lap, I put down the last shot glass with a tremble hand as I whispered to no one in particular, "I think I'm gonna be sick." Trying to stand, Chris suddenly stood as well, his arm going around my waist as he must have seen this as a great excuse to get me upstairs.
"Here, lemme help you," he said, starting to guide my wobbling form across the floor towards the stairs that lead to the older fraternity brothers' bedrooms.
I never saw him move but suddenly Ryan was there, his hand strong on my arm as he looked into Chris' eyes, a subliminal message sent his way apparently because I felt his arm around my waist loosen. "Why don't you finish your turn?" Ryan said, gently pulling me closer. "It's your turn."
I was vaguely aware who was really helping me. I just wanted to get out of here. But I could feel Chris' arm tighten back around me momentarily, keeping me from going anywhere as he said in a low voice, "What's going on, Ryan? Amanda's not your girl." That was pretty much it for me. I had to get to a bathroom and NOW! Pulling away from them both, I hurried towards the stairs as the urge to hurl got the better part of me.
Ryan stepped between Chris and me as I teetered off. "She's about as close to a sister as I have, you dick! And drunk! If she wanted help she would have asked for it. Now, sit down!" The area around where we had been playing had gone completely quiet but Ryan's closest friends stood up off to one side, just in case.
"You can't go around scaring everyone off that even acts interested in her, Ryan," Chris retorted as he glanced to me for a moment and then back to Ryan before sitting down. "It's obvious to everyone that you are saving her for yourself. So either do something about it or get out of the way." And having said what, I was later told, a lot of people had been thinking for a while, he sat back down to finish the game. Apparently that left some tongues wagging and Ryan thinking as the party resumed to where it had left off.