Allocation

Thanks to Linda62953 for first editing and improving this story and Hockey25 for additional valuable suggestions.

Special thanks to editor extraordinaire and fledgling author LovelyAnon for later fixes and suggestions that challenged me to do better. And thanks to author/editor DarkTwistedDesires for spotting a mistake that I introduced when I was revising the story.

*

Everyone agreed that Nelson was Mr. Cool.

What drew women to him was what finally made Gelsey file for divorce. In college, she had been among the many girls attracted to his personality. Unlike other boys she dated, Nelson didn't need constant ego stroking and attention. He never took anything seriously, including himself. Nothing ever bothered him.

They ran into each other again a few years after college. He was the top salesman for the software company where she headed the testing department. They dated and drifted into marriage. He knew Gelsey was more passionate about everything than he was, and he was fine with that.

They hardly ever had words. She catered to him, and he appreciated it. In bed, she knew what he liked and did it for him. He never remembered what she liked, but when she reminded him, he was glad to do it.

On business trips, he sometimes had one-night stands, not because he was looking for them, but because his nonchalance was still a magnet for women, whether clients or strangers at the hotel lounge.

He was an open book. Within a few minutes of conversation, the women knew he was a safe one-night adventure. There wouldn't be any messy complications because it meant less to him than to them.

Gelsey wouldn't have been happy to learn about these encounters, so he was discreet. It wasn't like he could tell her much anyway. How could he feel the guilt of cheating, shame, remorse or any other emotion if he forgot the episodes almost before they were over?

One day, Gelsey told him she had had enough. She needed more emotional nourishment than he was giving her and had found someone else to provide what she had been missing. Her announcement didn't faze him. He shrugged. Divorce? Sure. No problem. What did it really matter?

She told him that since they didn't have kids, the divorce should be easy. Though state law said she was entitled to fifty per cent of everything, her calculations showed he brought in sixty per cent of their income. She instructed her lawyer to ask for an allocation of only forty per cent of their assets and no alimony. Her lawyer thought she was crazy, and his lawyer thought the same thing but told him to shut up and not do anything to upset her until the decree.

They continued to live together until the divorce was final, with him sleeping in the guest room. The settlement day was three weeks away when a friend needled him while they were eyeing girls at a bar.

"How does it feel to lose your wife to another woman?" his friend asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know. Linda."

"Linda?" Nelson asked.

"I don't know her last name. I mean the woman your wife is -- I'm sorry. I thought you --."

His friend stopped in mid-sentence as he looked at Nelson. He had never seen him get angry or upset. But the man in front of him was turning purple. His nostrils were flaring like an angry bull's.

Nelson didn't say another word, but he slammed his drink down on the bar, turned around on his stool, jumped down and began striding toward the exit. As the crowd caught sight of the murderous expression on his face, it parted like the Red Sea to let him through.

***********

Gelsey was watching television when he got home, but he took the remote, turned it off and stood glaring at her. She was astonished. She had never seen his face like that in all the years she had known him.

"What is it, Nelson?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

He sputtered for a while before he could get any words out.

"Who's Linda?" he snarled.

She started when she heard the name.

"You never asked me anything, Nelson, so I thought you didn't want to know. I know you are a bit homophobic, so I didn't want to rub your face in it."

"You're leaving me for a lesbian!" he said angrily. "She doesn't even have a dick. You aren't a lesbian. A lesbian wouldn't want the things you ask me to do."

"You're being awfully crude about it, Nelson. I don't know what I am, and I don't care. All I know is that I've been putting up with lukewarm love for a long time and someone finally showed me what hot love was like, and I prefer it. It happened to be Linda.

"Our emotional connection is just as strong as our sexual connection. Unlike you and me, Linda and I fight sometimes, and I love it when we do, because the makeup sex is fantastic. She has blood in her veins, not ice.

"I'm not complaining about our years together. You are who you are, and I knew what you were when we got married. This is not about me hating you or betraying you. Once you calm down, you'll realize this means nothing to you. As soon as they know you're available, more women than you can imagine are going to swarm around you. I've already heard from some of them. You'll soon forget I ever existed."

She looked at him and saw that he was still fuming. She felt sorry for him. She had assured Linda there would be no problem with the divorce. Nelson would take it in stride, just like he did everything else. The last thing she expected was for him to react this way.

"It's disgusting," he finally spat out. "You're not in your right mind. How can you let one of those ugly rug munchers touch you? They make my skin crawl. I know I'm not perfect, but at least I'm a man. You are making a big mistake. You're going to ruin your life."

"Nelson, I'm going to forgive all the horrible things you're saying, because I see you're drunk. I know this comes from your mother deserting you when you were ten and finding out later that she ran off with another woman.

"I've told you this before, Nelson, but you won't listen. Not all gay people are monsters. They are the same as you or me. The only difference is whom they love.

"I'm sure there are gay men and lesbians who are just as emotionally stunted as you are. But Linda is not one of those. She's vibrant and full of life."

"You are talking nonsense," he said. "They are not like us, and they should stick to their own kind, and we should stick to ours."

"That's enough, Nelson," said Gelsey. "I'm not discussing this anymore. In all the time I've known you, I've never seen you so worked up. You know, except for what you say, it's exciting to see you fly off the handle like this. I wish I had inspired that kind of emotion before. But now, it's too late.

"I'm going upstairs, and I suggest you call it a night, too. You'll be embarrassed tomorrow morning when you remember how serious you got, and we'll have a good laugh. This is really nothing in the big scheme of things. That's what you always tell me."

She went to their bedroom, but Nelson wasn't in any mood to go to the guest room. He went to the cabinet in the living room, selected a bottle and brought it back to the kitchen. He poured himself a glass, and then a few more. An hour later, he still wasn't feeling any better, but he stood up anyway, although it was difficult.

He turned toward the guest room, but then he looked at the stairs. He stared at them for minute while he held onto the kitchen table. Then he aimed himself at the stairs and staggered to them. He held onto the railing and sat down.

It took him ten minutes to remove his socks and shoes and fifteen more minutes until he was naked, with his clothes in a pile at his feet. He looked down and saw that his cock was standing straight out. Being drunk wasn't going to stop him. He was going to save Gelsey.

He began climbing the stairs. He put one foot on a stair, and then brought the other one up while holding the rail tightly. It took him a long time to get to the top. Once there, he turned off all the lights. When he opened the door to their bedroom, his eyes were accustomed to the dark, and he could see Gelsey's form under the sheets. He slowly shuffled his feet across the floor until he stood over her.

She was lying on her back, and the sheet was at her waist. She was wearing one of her light nightgowns. Nelson knew she usually didn't wear anything under it. She was in a deep sleep. Nelson wondered what she was dreaming about. Could it be her lesbian lover? He had to wake her up from that nightmare.

He slowly pulled the sheet off her. Her nightgown had ridden up her body, and her shapely legs were exposed. He drew in a breath. She was beautiful. He looked at her in a new way. In the dim light, she was like a work of art. Why had he never noticed before?

He carefully crawled onto the bed below her feet and turned to face her. He gently lifted her legs at the knees and waited for her to stir, but she didn't wake.

He pushed her knees apart until she was spread before him. How exciting it was to see her like this! He couldn't remember being so aroused. He put his head between her legs and began licking her. She made a sound, and her legs spread wider.

Yes. This is what she wanted, a man to give her pleasure. He felt her juices begin to flow and her lower lips opening. He pushed his tongue between them and softly moved it around inside her until he felt her clitoris. He began licking it, and he heard a loud moan.

Almost immediately the moan was followed by a scream.

"Help! Stop! Who's there? Help! Help! Nelson! Nelson! Help me, please!"

She tried to push his head away with her hands as she continued to scream and call for him.

Then he lifted his head and slurred, "I'm here, Gelsey."

That made her scream even louder.

"No, Nelson! Get off me! I don't want this. Get away!"

She struggled, but he was immovable. She kicked her legs at him and hit him several times in the back, but he didn't budge. Then he moved onto her and she got more frantic.

"No, Nelson," she screamed. "You can't do this. You aren't my husband anymore. No, get off me. I don't want this. No! No! You're raping me. Help! Help! Rape! Rape!"

She continued screaming until he put his mouth on hers. It was disgusting and stinking from booze, so she shut her mouth tightly and tried to breathe through her nose. He spoke again, and she had to strain to understand him.

"I'm not raping you, Gelsey. You are all excited and wet. You want a man, a real man."

He entered her.

She struggled and screamed as his body began moving on her. She scratched him with her fingernails and slapped his butt as hard as she could, but that seemed to rouse him more. His thrusting became faster. She began slapping him hard on his face, over and over. At first, he didn't notice, but finally, he took her hands in his and held them down as he continued.

She began sobbing when he held her hands down. She tried to hold her breath and make her body rigid like a statue, but then she screamed again as she realized she was beginning to respond to him.

Her body was betraying her. It was beginning to meet his and work with him. Even her breathing was synchronizing with his. She sobbed in frustration because she couldn't control herself.

"You bastard!" she screamed out, and then she kept repeating the words. They became part of the rhythm of the two bodies moving together."

"You bastard, you bastard, you bastard," she screamed in time with his thrusts until she lost control and her voice could only make little high noises over and over. She had already come by the time she felt his sperm release inside her, and it set her off again. For a moment, she sighed in contentment, but then she came back to reality.

She began pushing at Nelson, who was collapsed on top of her. She finally pushed him off her and jumped out of bed.

"You raped me! You raped me!" she screamed. "I'm going to call the police. You're going to prison for this. You're sick. You're disgusting."

After she cursed him and threatened him for a while, she calmed down and looked at him. He was smiling up at her. She slapped him hard. She saw that it stung him, but he was still smiling.

"You enjoyed it," he said in his slurred voice.

It was true. It was the best sex she had had with him in a long time. She found that even more demeaning.

She slapped him again.

"You vicious animal. "You think that if you make me come, that means I love you. That's not love. Any dog and bitch can do what we did. You don't know what love is. You're pathetic and disgusting. Get out of my bed. I have to change the sheets now and get back to sleep. You're going to be sorry for this."

He sat up and looked at her. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction. He was starting to sober up and realize that maybe his idea of how to save her hadn't been such a good one.

"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, Gelsey," he said. "I just wanted to help you realize you weren't one of them. Maybe I shouldn't have done it this way."

"Shut up and get out!" she yelled and slammed the door behind him when he walked out.

The next night after work, he came straight home. She was waiting for him, and when he closed the door, she came up to him and slapped him hard on the face. He raised his hand to shield the blow as she prepared to slap him again. He walked to a chair in the living room and sat down.

She sat on the couch and looked at him for a minute before she spoke.

"I'm not going to report you," she said, "but if you ever come near me again, you're going to wish you hadn't. Linda said that I didn't have enough evidence to make charges stick, but I still might be able to damage you just by filing a police report. I thought about it, but I don't want it to end like this. She thinks I should put a lock on the bedroom door. Do you have anything to say?"

"I'm sorry, Gelsey," he said. "I guess I just can't understand you. You were having a great time, so I just kept on going."

"I guess you weren't listening when I explained that to you last night. My body responded to you, but my mind was repulsed by what you were doing. Animals respond to urges, but for humans -- at least for most women -- sex without love is repugnant.

"But I love you, Gelsey, and last night I felt like you loved me, too. Are you saying if any man did what I did to you last night you would have had all those orgasms?"

"No, of course not. How can you say that?"

"Then I don't understand what you're telling me. Are you saying you have no feelings left for me? I can tell you honestly, I feel totally different about you than I did even a week ago. I realize that I love you and care for you much more than I thought. I also realize that I've been a terrible husband and not worthy of someone like you. I don't want to lose you."

"You don't know what you're saying, Nelson. You're not yourself because you are so upset about Linda. Can't you see that? What's really happening is that your ego can't take losing me to a lesbian.

"Yes, I have some feelings for you. That's why I'm not calling the police. I realize you're in a terrible place mentally, but I'm warning you that no matter what your motivation is, you better stay away from me from now on."

"I admit that when I first heard about Linda, the thought of you with a woman made me sick," Nelson said. "And I'm sorry for getting you upset last night. But you can tell I'm sober now, and I'm telling you Linda is no longer the issue.

"There's only one thing on my mind now. I'm willing to do anything you ask me. I'll go to counseling with you. I'll meet with you and Linda. As hard as it is to say this, I won't even stop you from seeing her, even though I'll probably have to drink myself to sleep when you do. Just tell me what I can do to keep you from leaving me."

She watched him as his head dropped and he slid off the chair onto the floor. He crawled over to where she was sitting, took one of her hands and raised his head. He was crying.

"Get off your knees, Nelson," she said. She was now crying, too. "This is not how I wanted it to be. A month from now you'll be back to normal. I promise you. I know you better than you know yourself.

"Why am I comforting you? You raped me. I'm going out now, but I'm warning you that you'd better not come near me. We're almost through with this, and I don't want any more problems. Linda thought I should demand a fifty-fifty split in the allocation because of what you did, but I told her I didn't want to do anything that would slow the process, so you're still getting your sixty-forty. No, don't say anything now. I'm leaving. Goodbye."

When she came home, she saw him at the kitchen table staring at the glass in his hand with a half-empty bottle of whiskey next to him. He looked at her and dropped his head. She rushed up the stairs without saying a word.

The next day, she was waiting for him again when he came home.

"I feel sorry for you, Nelson," she said, "but I can't take any chances. When I told Linda what you were doing when I came home yesterday, she wanted me to move in with her right away, but my lawyer said that would not be a good idea in case you changed your mind and decided to fight the agreement. If I left the house, you would possess it, and that could cause complications. I told my lawyer, you would never do anything like that, but he said that's what everybody says until it happens.

"You'll notice a couple of changes were made here today. There's a heavy lock on the bedroom door. Last night, I couldn't sleep because I was so worried about what you might do. But you're not getting into that room again.

"Also, you might notice some big new lamps in all the downstairs rooms. They're going to stay on until I go upstairs and lock the bedroom door behind me. I don't want any more ugly surprises from you. Linda has also done a couple of other things to protect me that I'm not telling you about. I hope you understand."

He spoke softly to her.

"I was going to tell you something yesterday, Gelsey," he confided, "but it slipped my mind. If you stop the divorce, I'm prepared to sign over all our assets to your name just to show you how serious I am about wanting to work this out."

"What? You're insane, Nelson," she said. "You need to be careful. It would be easy for a woman to agree to that and then the next day file for divorce anyway."

"I know that. But I also know you'd never do it. I'll take my chances. The money's not going to mean much to me after you're gone."

"Nelson, you need therapy for your homophobia. All this is about Linda. Your mind isn't working right. That's why I'm scared of you. This isn't the Nelson I know."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. I'm not the same as I was. I'm not giving up on you. You won't admit it, but the other night, you were responding to me with your mind as well as your body. For a while, I made you forget that damned Linda. I've got to find a way to do that again."

"Don't even think in that direction, Nelson. I'm warning you that you will be sorry if you so much as lay a finger on me. You need to give up your crazy scheming."

"I'll never give up, Gelsey, never."

"Then I'll get a restraining order. If you get anywhere near me, you'll be spending time in jail. Don't think I wouldn't do it. I'm leaving now. Goodbye."

When she came home, she saw him sitting in the kitchen again, rushed up the stairs and locked the bedroom door behind her.

Two nights later, Nelson was getting desperate. He hadn't been able to concentrate at work and left early. He went home but then couldn't bear to be there alone, so he walked to a bar two blocks away. After a couple of hours, he could barely walk and drank a couple of black coffees before staggering home.