Amy's Smile: A Conclusion Ch. 02

I nodded, smiled and mouthed "Anywhere!"

"But Mom..."

"If this Amy smiles at you the way I smile at your Dad, you don't have to worry. Nothing in heaven or earth or hell besides would get her into bed with anybody but you. "

Another negative head shake, side to side so hard I could have dislocated my neck.

"Mom, how do you know that?"

"Woman's intuition."

Up and down... affirmative. She was right,

"Not good enough."

"Secret knowledge of the Sisterhood of women who adore their man. Charlie, believe me on this one. I absolutely know."

Up and down again. Is this what they mean by affirmative action?

"But..."

"Charles McKee! Do you think I would cheat on your father?!"

Side to side. Definitely not! I would never think that. Wait, Charlie's Mom wasn't even talking to me!

"Of course not." "Well then, trust me on this. Amy won't go to bed with Liam.
Biggest negative of all.

" Now promise me you will show up for the party. Promise!"

"I promise."

I could have clapped my hands with joy but, remembering I wasn't supposed to be there, stopped myself in time.

"And besides, it's your birthday. There'll be a present waiting for you."

"Nothing big, Mom!"

I smiled.

"Nothing very big, I promise."

Charlie's Mom smiled.

Charlie hung up. We cried and hugged and cried some more and hugged again. At last Charlie's Mom wiped her streaming eyes, frowned and spoke to me. At that moment she looked Mother Bear fierce.

"Do you really, truly love my Charlie?"

"With all my heart! No, wait, that isn't big enough. Whatever is deeper and warmer than with all my heart. That's how much I love him.

Another hug and more silence, Then...

"Listen, Charlie is a lot like his father. You will have to tell him..."

"That I love him?"

"Well, yes, and maybe that he loves you too. I had to do that with Charlie's father."

"You told him that he loved you?"

"Exactly."

"And what happened then?"

"Frank."

"Frank, Charlie's older brother? Right then?"

"No, nine months later."

And she winked at me. I think I'm going to like my mother in law.

Then she wiped the wooden spoon clean of tomato sauce, tapped me on both shoulders and intoned:

"You are hereby inducted as a member of the Sisterhood of women who adore their man, for a probationary period."

"How long is the probationary period?"

"Until one of you dies."

Nothing was said for several minutes. I thought about it and hoped it would be a very long probation.

"Just wait there a minute," she said and climbed the stairs to where, I presumed, the bedrooms were located. I could hear her rummaging in a closet. When she returned her right hand was closed around some small object. She opened her fingers and pressed it into my right hand.

"This was Charlie's grandmother's. She adored Charlie and would be delighted for him to have it... and to give it away. Charlie doesn't know you're here and won't be prepared. Give him this to use if you think it's appropriate. You can get one you choose for yourself later, if you want."

It wasn't just appropriate; it was stunningly beautiful and if I had my choice, I would wear it the rest of my life. I began to cry again and tucked it away into the tight front pocket of my jeans. Dear God, I hope we can use it tonight.

If Shirley McKee is my mother in law, I swear I'm going to love her.

Then, Charlie's Mom said, "Honey, we've got some planning to do. Charlie's father, Art, and I sure would like to meet your parents and I'm certain they will want to meet their future son in law."

"But Charlie hasn't asked me yet."

"He will, honey, he will. I've never heard him sound so determined in all my life. Why not phone them and ask them to come down here tonight. In fact, Frank and his family will be coming down from Green Bay in their van. I bet we can arrange for Frank to drive them."

So that's just the way it was. The party was in full swing with the Milwaukee branches of the family arriving every few minutes and my parents were on their way too. So was Charlie. I ought to have been overjoyed. Instead, I was too antsy even to sit down. And what if Charlie had an accident!!! Dear God, get him here safely!

Frank, his wife Meg, their two boys and "three going on four" year old daughter Pammy arrived in good time. Frank looked like a heavier version of Charlie and Meg looked, well, motherly. She reminded me a bit of Charlie's Mom. kind and already a bit matronly. Pammy had my Dad's hand in hers as they came through the front door and she pulled him forward to meet the family. Dad looked slightly concussed ... and completely charmed. Mom, looked like she always did, as if she met potential sons in law every night of the week, but she had a big smile on her face. She hugged me fiercely and whispered, "I am so happy for you, dear."

Gradually the whole family showed up, deposited their coats in the den and their winter boots by the back door. I looked around and realized I would have to set up a database to remember all the nephews' and nieces' birthdays.

Suddenly, Charlie's sister Monica, peeked through the front curtains, and announced, "He's here!"

Charlie's Mom, took me by the elbow and all but shooshed me in the direction of the back stairs.

"Downstairs! In the TV room." she whispered urgently. "I'll send him down to you."

I made my way down the stairs, stumbled over the pile of boots by the back door and had to resist the temptation to tidy them properly. I passed a life sized poster of Michael Jordan. "With a bit of luck, maybe I'll be the mother of sports fans," I thought. Then, around the corner, I found myself in the TV room. Big TV, pullout coach and a Lazyboy covered with a green and yellow throw rug decorated with a giant embroidered Green Bay Packers helmet in the corner. Very ugly, I thought. Nevertheless, I picked the Lazyboy and plunked myself into it.

Just like home, pride of place was given to a signed photo of Vince Lombardi. I remembered the line about the coach. "He treats us all the same, like dogs." Coach Lombardi stared at me from the photo as if I were a dropout from canine obedience school, or worse, a Bears fan.

I folded my legs under me and perched myself on the edge of the giant Lazyboy. I could hear voices upstairs but not distinguish the words. Eventually I made out the sound of someone's footsteps approaching the back stairs - Charlie, I hope - "Shit!" I heard, as he stumbled over the boots by the door. Charlie, for sure. Down the steps, around the corner, into the basement and...

"Hello Charlie."

Charlie looked completely exhausted but his face lit up like Fourth of July fireworks, when he caught sight of me.

"Whaaa... Amy!"

"Charlie, I missed you."

Charlie rushed across the room, fell onto both knees in front of me, seized my hands and locked his beautiful eyes with mine.

"Amy! I lo..." Damn! I thought he was going to say it.

Charlie stopped, reflected for a moment and seemed to get nothing from the reflection. He looked confused. "This is a wonderful surprise! But , but, what are you doing here?"

"It's your birthday. I wanted to drop off a present for you and your mother invited me to stay."

"But how did you know it was my birthday? How did you find out where my parents..."

"The bank where I work...it's your bank. An auditor can access just about any file in the database. Your file includes contact information for next of kin, in case of emergency, you know. And date of birth, of course."

I paused and then continued, "I violated company policy and your privacy by accessing your file for personal reasons. You can report me, if you want."

It didn't look as if Charlie was going to report me.

"Peanut, I'm just so glad to see you. Best birthday present I ever had!"

"Charlie, Your mom thinks I need to tell you something important."

"I'm starting to realize she's probably right about these things. Go right ahead, I'm listening." Charlie shifted his weight. I squirmed in my seat.

"I, I can't just come out with it. Charlie. It's hard for me. I think the man should say it first. I'm a traditionalist."

Charlie looked like an offensive tackle whose academic advisor had somehow enrolled him in advanced calculus rather than Basket Weaving 100. Then he made it into the right classroom and the light seemed to dawn. He swept me into his arms, slipped into the Lazyboy and pulled me to his heart.

"Amy, I love you with my whole heart. I love what's inside you and I loved you long before Guido helped you look just as beautiful on the outside."

I cried and cried and cried, burying myself into his chest. "I love you, Charlie!"

"Me? Not Liam?"

"You." And I burrowed deeper into my chest.

"But Peanut, I thought you wanted Liam for years and would give anything for him to notice you!"

This was getting a bit much.

"Charlie McKee! You have to stop underestimating me! Do you think I'm too stupid to know the difference between a self-centered, egotistical jock who treats me like his personal slave and the sweetest, kindest man in the whole world who makes me feel I'm wonderful? My friend, Miriam says any man who will sit and wait while a woman is in the hairdresser is a keeper. Not to mention that you gave me sex so good, that if I have any better I'll probably die and go to heaven on the spot!"

"But he's a good looking jock."

I swear I could have ground steel bolts to powder between my teeth.

"Amy, you dropped maybe a couple of grand at the mall for that makeover, just so Liam would notice you!"

If I didn't love this guy so much....

"Charlie, you're five receipts short of a clean audit. Whose idea was the whole makeover business? Who said he would take me, so I changed my mind about even going? Who did I want to notice I looked so good in the new clothes?"

"Whom," he said.

"Excuuuse me, Mr. English Major! I didn't do it for Liam, I did it for you. Idiot!"

"But a loveable idiot."

I smiled. "True."

"Forget Liam?" he asked.

"Forget Liam." I folded my hands and waited. Charlie took me in his arms again and kissed me until I was dizzy. And then...

"Peanut, I couldn't possibly be happier than I am here with you, but maybe we ought to head back upstairs to see the family... and those other people. Who are all those folks upstairs, by the way? There's a couple of people there I swear I've never met, like a little old lady dressed in the rejects from the Salvation Army Thrift Store."

"I really should make her come with me next time I go to the mall when Guido trims my hair."

"She's your Mom???"

The coins dropped in the jukebox and the disc dropped into play position. I could see Charlie was getting it.

"So, the uhhh, round man is your father... "

I'm afraid it's true. Dad hasn't been getting much exercise since he retired and Mom really is a good cook.

"Amy, I'll be glad to see them and all but what are they doing here, and on a night like this?"

I knew this was where it would begin to get difficult.

"My father makes balloon animals for birthday parties?"

"Nahhh," Charlie shook his head.

I gulped, drew in a breath and started the explanation. "Your mother wanted to meet them and she was absolutely sure they would want to meet you."

"Meet me?" he echoed.

Uh oh, here it comes. Please God, don't let him be upset.

"Charlie, I ought to tell you that I was... already here when you called your mother. I was in the kitchen and she had you on speaker phone. Your Mom did try to tell you."

"Tried to tell me?

"I heard everything you said."

"Everything I said?" C'mon, Charlie, this isn't rocket science or even medical database management.

"Charlie," I paused. "Did you mean it? What you said? Everything? I won't hold it against you if you got carried away and now you want time to think about it."

Charlie looked puzzled for a minute, like the slowest kid in the class trying to recall the order of elements in the periodic table. Then, at last, the light seemed to dawn. "Every word, I swear it."

I sighed, long and content. Maybe it was all going to come together. "Then I can tell you the real reason. He's here so you can ask him a question."

"A question?"

"Not really a question, more asking permission, really. My dad's a traditionalist. I got the tendency from him."

Charlie goggled at me

I leaned towards me, took his face in both hands and kissed him, with just a little tongue action. Anything more, the way I was feeling, and we wouldn't be having any more conversation until morning. , "You just might have some reason to hope that I love you back," I sat back and looked at him.

"Charlie, the truth is, I'm waiting for a question too."

Charlie gazed into my eyes, then, after a moment, lifted my hands to his lips, let them go and sank to one knee.

"Just a second!" I said. It took me a moment shimmying my hips from side to side to release from my tight front pocket what Charlie's Mom had given me. Then, there it was, lying flat in the outstretched palm of my right hand, old gold, with a central diamond and two flanking rubies.

"This was your grandmother's. Your mother thought you might need it. She's a traditionalist too."

Charlie held my hand in his left and with his right delicately picked up the ring, lifted it to the light of the anglepoise lamp and examined it for a moment. He released my right hand, took my left hand in his, and held the ring to the tip of its fourth finger. I know I have scrawny little fingers so I expected it to be too large. But Charlie pushed it forward until it sat neatly in place at the base of finger. I drew in a breath

Holding it in place, Charlie lifted his eyes to mine and said with a solemnity I had never heard from him before, "Amy, I love you with my whole heart. I admire you and respect you as well as love you. I know that you are the woman for me and hope that I am the man for you. Will you marry me?"

I didn't need Miriam's advice to get the answer right. "Yes, Ohh yes!"

I kissed him and kissed him and kissed him. He stroked the side of my face, touched the pointy tips of my ears with his fingers, and mumbled incoherent endearments. I couldn't make out what he was saying. I've noticed that sometimes Charlie's diction isn't that good. Finally, he drew himself together, pushed himself to his feet, extended his right hand to me and said, "Time to tell the family?"

I nodded and, hand in hand, we made our way upstairs. Charlie stubbed his toes on the boots again but he seemed almost drunk with happiness and he didn't even notice the sore toe. There was a dead silence when we stepped into the living room, as if the whole family was holding its collective breath. I lifted my left hand, palm towards me, so that everybody could see the fourth finger. Cheers rocked the room. Charlie told me afterwards it reminded him of the Chicago Forum after Michael Jordan sinks the winning basket in overtime.

Charlie held up his hands for silence, turned to my father, cleared his throat nervously and said, "Professor Peirson, I would like to ask permission to marry your daughter Amy."

Dad was so overcome with emotion he began to cry. I think I get the tendency from him. He couldn't speak through the tears so he nodded vigorously and shook Charlie's hand. More cheers. I was hugged more often than a Giant Sequoia at a convention of the Sierra Club. Charlie didn't do too badly either.

Sometime later, I found the two mothers sitting together in the kitchen. Where else?

"Amy, dear, we've been talking. We think you shouldn't wait too long before you get yourself knocked up," said my Mom. Charlie's Mom nodded her agreement.

"Mother!" I didn't realize my Mom even knew such words. "The McKees have a head start on grandchildren and your father and I want to get in on the fun."

"They say grandchildren are God's reward for not strangling your own children when they're teenagers," Charlie's Mom chipped in.

"And it's time for my reward!" added my Mom.

I thought about it for a minute, shrugged and replied, "I'll do my best!" What more could I say?

"And I'm sure Charlie will do his," smiled his Mom.

The two mothers grinned at one another, high fived, and exclaimed, "Grandchildren!"

Eventually, the party broke up. My parents accepted an invitation to stay in the guestroom at Charlie's sister, Samantha's house. Frank and Meg's older kids said they wanted to sleep over with their cousins but little Pammy decided she wanted to stay with her parents.

I wondered if I dared ask to sleep in Charlie's room but it turned out he still had not only his childhood models and posters, but the single bed in which he had grown up. Charlie's Mom made up the pullout couch for me in the TV room. "It's very quiet down here," she told me. "You can't hear anybody in the rest of the house... and they can't hear you." She winked. I already love her!

I thought the odds were very high that Charlie would be joining me later so I decided to forego a nightie and sleep au naturel. I left the light on over the Lazyboy and tried to read my copy of The Economist to pass the time. Somehow, it just didn't seem as gripping as usual. I laid it aside and listened as the house gradually grew quiet above me. I passed the time by admiring the ring on my left hand. It was sooner than I expected but longer than I hoped when I heard the back stairs creak above me, then a faint "shit" when someone stubbed his toes on the boots by the back door.

A few seconds later, Charlie appeared around the corner. He was dressed in a ratty old green hoodie with "Fighting Irish" in gold lettering, red Chicago Bulls sweat pants and unmatched socks. And he thinks I used to dress funny? Charlie pulled off the hoodie, and slipped the Bulls sweatpants to the floor. There he stood, grinning down at me, wearing only unmatched socks and his underpants.

My guess is that Charlie's grandfather gave him this underwear too. On the left side of the underwear was a drawing of Sylvester the Cat. From Sylvester's open mouth came a large bubble containing the words.

"S-U-F-F-E-R-I-N-G

S-U-C-C

O

T-A-S-H!

The fly passed right through the capital O and Charlie's erect cock was sticking out through the vent. As he shifted his weight to get at his socks, the cock dipped towards Sylvester's open mouth.

"Back off, Cat!" I said. "The only pussy that's going to get that cock is mine!"

Charlie looked confused. His dick slipped to the side and pointed directly at the letters S-U-C.

"A message from heaven!" I told myself. Aloud, I said, "Charlie, how about I buy your underwear from now on?"

I bet Guido the hairdresser could give me good advice.

I extended my arms to Charlie and the bedding slipped below my breasts, such as they are. But Charlie's eyes lit up. He pulled off the odd socks, tossed Sylvester into the seat of the Lazyboy and slid in naked beside me. Heaven!

"Peanut," he said. "I didn't expect to see you so I don't have a condom."

I guess it's a good thing when your man goes on a business trip and doesn't take condoms.

"So?"

"So I guess we're attending Oral Roberts University tonight."

It took me a minute to get that one. I frowned.

"I hear Oral Roberts has a son named Anal. That would be safe too but pretty messy. Let's stick to oral."

"No way!" I said. "I have just got engaged and I want the man I adore inside me."

"Charlie, are you clean?" I asked. I was sure he was, but you have to ask.

"Absolutely. I've never gone without," he replied. "No glove, no love, not even once."

"Well, you know I am. You know you were the first one in there.... And you'll be the last." I added

"But, Amy, with my family genetics, it's a good bet that my little swimmers are Olympic calibre. It wouldn't be safe."

"I'm safe. Let me count the days since my period ended." I lifted up my index finger and grasped it with the fingers of the other hand, "One!" I said.