An Indigo Bunting

Oh boy, what did I have in front of me? "So you're a borne again Christian?"

"Ahh ha ha!" she laughed in her sing-song voice. "Oh heaven's no. Not the televangelists. Oh please, not them. Ahh ha haa!"

What?

She must have read my lost expression. "No, I make my own Christianity, I'm not aligned with any church."

"Really?"

"Umm hmm." Her mouth was full.

"So you are Christian agnostic then?"

She swallowed, "Oh heaven's no. I believe in the existence of God. The Judeo Christian God. And I believe that Jesus Christ walked the earth and preached his message."

"I'm sorry, you're confusing me. If you believe that, then how can you say that you are not aligned with any church? We're talking about the same Bible here right?"

"Hmm, no, not exactly." She kind of looked away as she said it.

"What? What other Bible is there?"

"There are several different Bibles, the Egyptian Copts have their own, Eastern Orthodox their own too, but there is only one Bible as compiled by the early Catholic Church. There are many scriptures, apocrypha, that is extra bits that are not contained within the Bible that we are familiar with."

"What would you call yourself then? You must have some alignment somewhere?" I wondered if I was prying.

"Hmm, I've never tried to slot my beliefs anywhere. And belief, in my view, is a growing, developing and changing phenomena. I know I called myself New Christian, but that's a label I made up for the sake of this conversation." She paused for a moment and then added, "I suppose I maybe most aligned with Arian, Gnostic at the very least."

I was shocked. "Aryan? Like white supremacist?"

"Oh heaven's no. That's Aryan with a Y. I said Arian with an I."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. Gnostic?"

"Yes, Gnostic as opposed to agnostic."

"Sophie, do you possess some special wisdom that I don't know about?

She didn't answer, she simply smiled back with upper lip curled.

"Well, in any case," I concluded, "the God I believe in is the scientific God."

"The scientific God?" she replied, "I must admit that's a new one for me." Sophie gazed at me with an odd look on her face. She wanted an explanation.

I knew I was in trouble. "Yes, the scientific God that created the world and the universe." Big gulp.

She froze. "You're not..."

"No I'm not," I interjected, "in fact the only part of the Bible that I am familiar with is the first part of Genesis. Personally I don't see a disparity between the creation story of Genesis and most of modern science."

She stopped eating. "Intelligent design?"

"No, I'm pretty sure that's still code for Bible thumper. The six or eight thousand year old earth? I'm sorry I don't buy that. That position is a bit extreme wouldn't you think?"

"I agree," she answered as she scooped up some potato, "but how do you reconcile creation and science? Wait. You said most science."

I smiled at her. "Modern science has a bit of a problem," I told her. "The scientists expect us to believe in the Big Bang theory. Out of nothing, in a sudden explosion everything came into existence, all matter, all energy, time, space itself, all the laws of physics, everything. They call it a singularity. That event defies the laws of physics itself. From nothing suddenly everything was crea...Oh! Don't use the C-word!"

"Ahh haa haa!" Music again.

"That's right. Create implies a Creator."

"Ahh haa haa!"

"That's the scientific God I believe in. I don't have a problem with the big bang theory per se, I just find it odd that most scientists go to great lengths to avoid addressing the God issue. No I don't have a problem with most modern physics..."

"What do you mean by most?" She picked up the last of her veal.

"Some of these scientists are just making things up. They're barking up the wrong tree. Gravity waves? In spite of the millions spent and the countless hours in effort, they can't find any. Because gravity waves don't exist! Dark matter, dark energy? Give me a break. The multiverse? Come on."

Sophie was looking at me funny as she chewed. She must have thought I was some sort of a nut job.

"But all of that theoretical science I can live with," I continued knowing full well that I was going out on a huge limb, "What I have a real problem with is evolution."

"Really? You don't believe in evolution?" She seemed shocked.

"Yes, I have a problem with that. It's a theory. It's not science. Science is something you establish and prove through a scientific method. You build on it. Einstein built on the physics that Newton had laid down. Nothing was thrown out in the process. It's not as if Newton's second law of motion is no longer valid. Or Pythagoras' theorems. With evolution, they keep changing the story. What was so called science yesterday, is tossed out as nonsense today. Where is the Piltdown Man? Gone. Hoax. Forgery. Not science. Now having said that I do believe in micro-evolution, that is adaptation. Darwin's own finches from the Galapagos are a great example. Their beaks adapted to accommodate the food supply from the various islands. They didn't become different species though. We have never seen the creation of a new species."

"Well you do make an interesting argument," she conceded.

"Evolution, in my view is simply a belief system, not science. But then I'm not trying to dissuade you from what you believe in, what you have faith in.

"Interesting."

We ate silently for a moment.

"What about you?" I asked. "Why haven't you remarried?"

She giggled, then swallowed her mouthful.

After pausing for a moment she said, "I couldn't do anything after Sam passed away. For probably a year. I bought this condo. That kept me busy. But then after that I did have a number of 'dates'."

I sliced my veal watching her.

"They just didn't work out." She almost mumbled.

I ate my last piece of veal contemplating what she said.

"But we're on a date tonight as it were. How's it working out?" I asked.

She smiled, reached out and brushed my hand with her manicured fingers. "I like you Frank, I really do." She smiled again.

I swallowed my mouthful. "How am I different from the other guys that you've dated?"

She cut into the last of her scapes and green beans. Thought for a moment, then said, "First, you're not bald and you don't have a beer belly or a 'hmm...large derriere. You are actually a very handsome man. Second..." She slipped her forkful into her mouth and chewed for a couple of seconds. Waving her empty fork in the air she continued, "You don't treat me like the damsel in distress. I'm not the poor widow that needs to be pulled from her misery, from her desolation." She picked up the last of her scapes and beans. "And most importantly, I think, you seem to listen to what I have to say. I'm not just a naïve, old school teacher. I have an opinion that I get to air. You treat me as an intelligent human being, as an equal." Then after a moment she added, "Plus I can see you have a good heart."

We sat in silence for a moment. We didn't even eat.

"I think...that you are a very beautiful, intelligent, elegant and sexy woman."

We both sat with knives and forks poised above our plates, not moving or saying anything staring into each other's eyes.

"I think you've had too much wine Frank."

"No, I haven't Sophie."

"You think I'm sexy?"

"Yes, very much so."

"I think you're sexy too."

Our knives and forks hit our plates. Somehow we seemed to be eating faster.

We talked about many things as we finished dinner, but not about sex or intimacy. That subject just kind of floated in the air, spoken by body language, by gestures, smiles and side glances.

I reallyliked her. I hoped that maybe she felt the same about me.

I was, more than anything, profoundly at ease with her. I didn't want to jeopardize that sense of comfort.

She took her glasses off to clean-up. Everything got loaded into the dishwasher. As we finished cleaning up I took her hand in mine. I kissed her hand and said, "Sophie, that was a really nice dinner you made. Thank you so much." I kissed her hand again.

She dropped the tea towel she was holding in the other hand. She turned and stepped directly in front of me. She put both of her hands behind my head and tilted her head up to mine. I put my hands around her waist.

We kissed.

Her lips were soft. Her breath was warm. The kiss lingered for a few moments.

"Thank you Frank," she whispered. We smiled at each other as we gazed into each other's eyes.

She wrapped her arms around my shoulders as I held her waist. She turned her head to the side pressing her cheek to my collar bone and squeezed the hug for a long moment. When she pulled her face away and looked up into my eyes again I saw that a tear had dropped from one eye and a second one was about to from the other.

She must have missed her husband. I had to say something. "What's wrong Sophie?" I whispered.

Tears spilt from both eyes, "I'm sorry Frank," she redoubled the hug, "it's been so long," she sniffled, "to feel a hug from a man. A kiss." She pushed herself away from me and cleared her tears off with her fingers. More fell. "You must think I'm a fool," she said sniffling.

I took her face in my hands and kissed the tears from her cheeks, "You're no fool," I said softly and resumed kissing her teary cheeks, "you're a lady. A beautiful lady."

I hoped that I wasn't coming off too corny. She seriously missed her husband. Which was a good thing I rationalized, she has a strong heart.

I kissed her on the lips. She pulled me in with a hug. The kiss was hot, passionate. Our lips rocked against each others. Our mouths opened and our tongues touched. Just momentarily. I pulled my lips from hers. A tear had rolled down her cheek. I kissed it off.

That kiss was for me – not her dead husband. I was sure of that.

"Sophie, I have to go. Thank you for dinner," I said softly to her.

She smiled.

"Will you stay awhile?" she asked. I knew, or I thought I knew, what she was asking, but I also knew that if I got started I wouldn't be able to stop. There was a danger that I would land up jumping her bones or somehow I would push too far and ruin everything. I knew that once I got a boner, which was coming on, all rational thought would be lost. I needed to clear out before I fucked everything up. Plus, Sophie was clearly still going through all kinds of emotional issues, still grieving for her dead husband. I needed to give her some space. Some time to herself.

Twenty minutes tops - one side of my brain rationalized (and a growing voice from down below), Naw...a couple of days, said the other side of the brain.

"I really should go Sophie."

I needed time to process all that had happened too. Although I would have loved to just pick her up and toss her onto the couch ripping her clothes off along the way.

"Lovie needs to be let out. I'll call you during the week."

She had a bit of a forlorn expression on her face, but also one of understanding.

"So bird watching next weekend?" I reconfirmed.

"You bet," she answered.

"How about Saturday and I'll make dinner afterwards?" I asked.

A warm smile came across her face. "That would be lovely."

We kissed again at the door and said goodbye. Smiling, she cleared another tear off her cheek as I turned to walk away.

I lay in bed that night quietly debating with myself over my decision to not stay. Was it the right thing to do, or was I just frustrating Sophie too? Did she need to talk? Hug? Should I have fucked her? Was my decision to go wrong? I didn't know.

I thought about the dream and wondered what it meant. Was it Sophie that was holding my hand? Was the Indigo Bunting some sort of prize? A symbol of happiness? Of true love?

Not surprisingly I dreamt the dream again that night. Although the blue bird was lovely and carefree as I - we watched it, I was frustrated because I could not ascertain who was holding my hand. I couldn't even tell if it was a woman's hand. I wasn't even sure I was holding someone's hand. It just felt warm and comforting.

The next week was spent cleaning everything. The house, the landscaping, closets and my office too. I stocked the refrigerator and the bar with everything that I could think of. By the end of it I was almost ready for Town and Country magazine to show up with their photographers. The place was spotless. Almost ready, because I never did get to put flowers into the outdoor pots. I did manage though to replace the old outdoor speakers with new ones. I kept wondering through it all, what is it about Sophie that has motivated me to go to such great lengths to impress? Was it simply the possibility of having sex with such a beautiful woman or was there something more to it? Did I feel like an inadequate slob next to her and I needed to clean my act up? It was so unlike me. Could I even live up to Sophie's expectations?

What was never discussed as we exchanged emails that week was whether we would be having sex and whether she would stay the night.

The next Saturday, as arranged, Sophie came to my house to drop off her car. Together with Lovie in the back seat we drove to a different entry location on the Bruce Trail in my five year old Toyota Corolla. Much to my embarrassment Lovie farted in the backseat the whole way there.

"Ewe," we said in unison numerous times. I would add, "Sorry." Then roll down the front windows.

The Bruce Trail is a five hundred and sixty mile hiking route which starts near Niagara Falls and follows the Niagara Escarpment up to the tip of the Bruce Peninsula in Lake Huron. It takes a month to hike the full length. We just needed a couple of hours to get in, wander around, have some lunch that Sophie packed, and hopefully, find the Bunting.

It was a beautiful day in the second week in May. She and I both wore blue jeans, long sleeve stone colored shirts and hiking boots. I had a little back pack, she had a fanny pack this time and of course, we both had our binoculars. She wore her Tilly hat. We walked hand in hand, sometimes I would lead and all the time Lovie trundled behind with slobbery tongue hanging out.

We stopped to bird watch as we walked along. As previously, Sophie knew every one without having to consult the field guide. I would, just to read up about the bird.

It was fun. She really was pleasant and I could tell she was having a great time too.

After a good hour, she changed the topic of conversation. "I was hoping that you would have stayed a little longer last Sunday," she said.

"If I did," I answered, "I may not have stayed a gentleman for very long."

She chuckled, "And you are Frank, you are a real gentleman."

"As befits a fine lady." I said.

"Perhaps this lady wishes a few moments of ardor from time to time," she said with a little naughtiness to her voice as we walked along.

"Then she wouldn't be a lady then, would she?" I stated with tongue in cheek.

She stopped in dead her tracks. Our hands broke apart as I stepped forward. I turned around.

"Perhaps I can transform myself into something other than a lady for a few moments at the very least?"

"Such as?" I was hoping she would say a sex craved fuck machine.

"Now, it wouldn't be very lady like for me to say would it?" She grinned.

I put my hands around her slender waist. She put her hands on my shoulders. I stooped down. We kissed. It was a passionate kiss, meant for me. Her blue eyes stared right at me as we broke the kiss.

"Perhaps you could simply whisper it in my ear," I said in a low voice.

"Perhaps I'll show you later, after dinner," she whispered.

"Perhaps you can show me now?" She was smirking at me as I spoke. "I think there might be an Indigo Bunting just through the bushes behind me, what do you think?"

A huge grin swept across her face. "You might be right."

"Shall we go have a look?"

Hand in hand through the bushes we went, Lovie followed.

About twenty feet off the trail was a pure stand of Eastern White Cedar. The ground below was a brown carpet of their soft fallen scales. I told Lovie to turn around and sit. "Bark if you see anyone."

"Will she really do that?" Sophie asked as we cleared away a few fallen sticks.

"I doubt it but let's hope," I said as we pulled our binoculars and packs off, setting them down.

"I feel like a teenager," she chuckled.

"I'll be the judge of that," I said smiling at her.

We kissed. I grabbed her bum cheeks with both hands. She ground her crotch against mine, or at least my upper thigh. I could feel my cock springing to life. She started to unbutton my shirt. I squeezed her bum. She smiled and kissed me again.

I turned her around and kissed down on her neck. My hands rose to her breasts. I squeezed them, they were exquisite. As I looked down from above I could see that her knees were shaking.

"You're right," I said smiling, my breath hot on her ear as I squeezed each breast, "you do feel like a teenager." She grinned as she reached behind her searching for my cock.

Her fingers found my growing cock straining through my pants, "And you feel like a man," she cooed.

I kissed her cheek and neck again, she was still visibly shaking.

Lifting her head she said, "Take me."

Take me? What the hell does that mean? And who the hell says that? Fuck me, I could understand. She was shaking like a leaf below me. Was she scared? She must have been. I was going too fast. I kept massaging her boobs. She continued to gyrate and shake in my arms. I had a raging hard on. I unbuckled her jeans and unzipped her fly. My hand slipped down the front of her pants. She shook uncontrollably.

The fingers on my right hand found fur. And soft skin. And then slipperiness.

Still with her back to me, she managed to unzip my pants and was working her way inside.

Suddenly there were noises around us. Not far. Whistles. Yelling. Laughing. Young voices. Something moved in the bush not more than fifty feet from us. Quickly, very quickly, we zipped and buttoned ourselves up. Lovie didn't make a sound or react.

A pack of cub scouts came by. There must have been twenty or thirty of them. They were all in the bushes, running like little demons each and every way. One kid was jumping up in down in front of us. A second joined him, then a guy about thirty five came by. We were surrounded by kids. Lovie was smothered with affection. Sophie went into school marm mode speaking in a controlled tone to all of them. She was wonderful to watch.

"Do you know how close that was?" she asked as they moved on.

"Yeah. Thirty seconds tops."

We both broke out laughing and hugged each other.

Lovie was gone. A couple of sharp whistles solved that. She appeared from way down the trail behind us, trundling along. The cub scouts must have had Girl Guide cookies or something with them. We walked silently hand in hand. The sounds of the forest returned.

"Frank, I hope I'm not being too forward when I ask this."

"Mmm?"

"I really like you and you're fun to be with."

"And I like you. You're fun and I feel very comfortable in your presence. Plus, let's not forget that bit about you being elegant, intelligent and sexy too."

She smiled, "Oh, that's so nice to hear, but seriously Frank," she paused, "are we going to be bird watching friends, with, I think the expression is, friends with benefits, because I think we both know how our day together will land up? Or are we going to perhaps try to develop a relationship?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. We faced each other. Her expression was serious. My heart was pounding, she really put me on the spot.

"Wow, I don't know how to answer that, or what the correct answer is," I replied.

She had an odd look on her face.

"Which answer do you want to hear, or more succinctly, which answer don't you want to hear?"