And Again and Again

"I'm ok, mom. Don't worry about me," Jaime reassured with a smile.

"Several of the guests asked whether you'd be singing...I didn't really know what to tell them."

Jaime sighed. "Mom...we've been through this...he doesn't want me to play and it is his wedding day."

"Honey, because we were so late thinking of entrainment, we only managed to get him..." Mrs. Shepherd pointed in the direction of the DJ with a non too happy look on her face.

"He's not that bad..."

Jaime's mom glared at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Ok, ok, so he is...I'll think about it, alright?"

"That's all I can ask," she said and walked away.

Looking back at Terri, she saw her smiling brilliantly while talking to some of the guests. Deciding to let bygones be bygones, Jaime went into the house to retrieve her acoustic guitar. When she came back out, the entire place quieted down. She stopped at the doorway, meeting her mother's loving and approving gaze with a look of easy acceptance. Terri was next to turn around and look at what caused the silence. When she saw Jaime, she looked at her quizzically, but her puzzlement was quickly replaced with a deep seeded warmth.

Jaime cleared her throat and moved further into the crowd. Her band mates came up to her and asked if she wanted them to join in. Though thankful for their unwavering love and support, she declined. Grabbing a chair and a mike, she hooked up her guitar to the amplifier. She motioned to the DJ to shut off the music and used the chair to prop her foot up. Looking at the crowd, she licked her lips before saying, "Ladies and Gentlemen, first I'd like to congratulate the bride and groom -- there is nothing quite like love in this world, and when you find it and it's real, you better hang on to it, otherwise, nothing is ever the same." Dropping her gaze, Jaime played with her guitar pick. "I hadn't planned on playing tonight, and as you can see my band mates are just as surprised, but I wanted to dedicate a song to you guys, and I just hope you like it..." She could see her brother glaring at her from the side, but she decided to ignore him as she concentrated on the song that had been running through her mind during the past few days.

Jaime began strumming the guitar, a haunting melody wafting into the air. Her deep, smoky voice soon joined in:

"Love is such a strong emotion

That it'd bring the strongest men to their knees

It's the only power to prevail

In a world of death, hunger and disease

I would gladly dedicate myself to you

Just to know you'll always be around

I'd crawl through glass and blazing coal

Just to hear the magical sound

Your voice makes in the morning

Your laughter when you're amused

Your pleasure and contentment when you're happy

And your cries when your heart's been abused

I wouldn't let you go

If the choice was in my hands

But I guess fate knows best

As the world continues to stand

If I were a warrior of ancient times

I'd dedicate my sword to you

I'd honor and cherish you till the end of time

And die a thousand deaths just for you

Oh, what I wouldn't give to hear the sound

Your voice makes in the morning

Your laughter when you're amused

Your pleasure and contentment when you're happy

And your cries when your heart's been abused..."

The words trailed off into the darkness as the air stood still. Not a breath could be heard in the following din of silence. It was only when Jaime raised her head to look at the crowd that they began to breathe. A loud round of applause soon ensued, making the air vibrate with excitement and adoration. Jaime thanked the warm audience, nodded her head and stepped away from the mike. Unable to deal with the emotions swirling within her, she left the yard without saying much of anything to anyone.

It was much later when Jaime stood looking blankly at the night air off the back porch of her parents' home, holding a drink in her hand. The party was slowly dwindling. The air was nice and crisp. A small hand touched her waist from behind. Jaime half-turned to look, but deep down she knew who it would be. A tiny smile creased her ruby-red lips.

"You look beautiful," she simply said.

The small blonde smiled bashfully as her cheeks flared. "Thank you. So do you."

"It was a beautiful ceremony. Are you getting ready to leave?"

As soon as the question left her lips, she regretted it. Terri's eyes teared up and her lower lip started to tremble.

Jaime's brow creased with worry, "what's wrong? Sweetie, what's the matter?"

Terri didn't seem capable of answering, so without knowing what else to do, Jaime simply pulled her into her arms. Terri went willingly. She sunk into Jaime's embrace like a last lifeline to a drowning sailor.

"Shh...everything's going to be ok. You'll see. He's a good guy and you love him..."

"I love you..." she whispered brokenly.

Jaime gasped. She wanted to believe she hadn't heard correctly, but in her heart she knew she would be wrong. "No, no, no...you love him. You married him. It'll be ok, you'll see. He loves you."

Slowly disentangling herself from Jaime's strong arms, Terri sniffled and wiped away an errant tear. "I know..." Pulling herself together as much as possible under the circumstances, she raised herself on her tip-toes and leaned in. Cradling Jaime's face between her soft palms, she placed a soft, sweet kiss on Jaime's lips.

Licking her lips, she squared her shoulders and without another word, she marched right back into the house and into her newlywed husband's arms.

That night would come to haunt Jaime's dreams for the next three months. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she could no longer sing or write. She was an utter mess. Terri and her brother had returned from their quickie honeymoon after a week, both unable, and unwilling, they hated to admit, to leave their jobs for too long. Jaime hadn't seen either one of them since the wedding, wishing to stay as far away from them as possible, as well as the many complications any type of association with them would entail. However, the time had come when Mrs. Shepherd decided enough was enough. She wanted to see her daughter and if trickery would get her way, then trickery it shall be. She invited Jaime to dinner, conveniently forgetting to mention that Terri and her brother were also invited.

Jaime arrived at her parents' house right on time, holding a large bouquet of flowers in her hand. She felt sorry for ostracizing her parents along with everyone else in her life for so long. When she entered the house, she was about ready to bolt back out of the door, but was grabbed by her mother before she could make her escape. "How could you, mom?" she whispered under her breath.

Her mother simply smiled and pulled her further into the house.

Jaime quickly noted Terri looked as pretty as ever, but on a closer, more studious inspection, she noticed something was missing. Her eyes were...blank. She gazed at her brother and noticed a similar expression. Narrowing her eyes in wonder, she stepped forward. Terri was the first to get up. "Hi." She smiled casually, neither overly warm nor truly cold.

"Hi," Jaime answered.

Dinner was uneventful, though somewhat dull to the extent that Jaime had to suppress her tenth yawn. Before completely falling asleep at the table, she excused herself to go freshen up. Five minutes into her bathroom break, she heard a knock on the wooden door. Cracking the door open, she yelped in surprise when she was nearly tackled by a ferocious little blonde. Terri's hands and lips were everywhere at once. She kissed and touched and fondled, and Jaime was helpless but to react. After her brief moment of surprise, she regained her senses and started to attack Terri's lips with a similar ferocity. She needed to taste her, feel her, get inside her skin. They couldn't get enough. It was the sound of clanging plates that made them break apart. Jaime held Terri against the door, her leg held up against her hip, her hand nestled underneath the tight material of her skirt. Their hair was all over the place, their lips swollen and bruised from the rough kissing, their deprived lungs trying to inhale deep harsh breaths.

"Oh God...What are we doing?" asked Jaime, swallowing thickly.

Terri shook her head, still in Jaime's scorching embrace, "I don't know, but I've been dying without you. I don't know how I managed before, but something happened at the wedding. Something changed, in both of us..."

Jaime laid her forehead against Terri's. She wished she had an answer, a solution, but she didn't. She was simply ashamed of their infidelity as she realized yet again why she hadn't wanted to see Terri since the wedding.

"We can never let this happen again...it was a moment of indiscretion...a moment of unbridled, animalistic passion that couldn't be contained, but it will never happen again. WE will never let it happen again, right?" Jaime sought reassurance from Terri.

Terri nodded, her head bent low, her fingers clenching periodically in the soft material of Jaime's shirt.

They disentangled and tried their best to put themselves back into a semblance of order before stepping back out. Terri was already on her way out when she turned around and said, "He's changed too, you know. It's mutual...this loss I'm feeling..." and then she left.

Jaime stayed behind for a little while longer, mulling over Terri's words. Those words joined the vision of Terri on her wedding day as they haunted her in both waking and sleeping hours.

A couple more months passed and her physical and mental state was as bad as the newlywed couple's, or so she was told. Jaime's mother made sure to keep track of all her children and even a blind person could see that they were doing far from alright. Something had to change and fast.

And it did. Jaime was lounging around her house, trying her damndest to write a new song for the band when her doorbell rang. If it hadn't been 2 in the morning, she wouldn't have been worried. Looking at the clock, she rushed to open the door, fearing the worst. A very upset looking Terri stood on her stoop. Jaime frowned and asked hurriedly, "What's wrong? Are you ok? Is Jack ok? My parents?"

Terri shook her head and said, "No, they're all ok. Please, can I come in?"

Jaime sighed in relief. "Yeah, sure, come in." She ushered her into the living room and offered her a drink, which was gratefully accepted.

Dropping onto the leather couch, next to Terri, Jaime asked, "Ok, so what's wrong?"

"I think...I think it's over..." and she started crying softly.

Jaime frowned, "What's over?"

"My marriage...it was awful. He came home all worked up and started a fight, just like that. Before I knew it, we were in the middle of a full blown yelling match, his voice definitely topping mine as he was waving his arms around like a maniac...he scared me..."

Jaime's worry metamorphosed into quick anger, "Did he hurt you? If he did, I'll...I'll KILL him!"

Terri hiccupped, "No, no, he wouldn't do that. His behavior just scared me so I ran out of the apartment and hailed a cab. I didn't know where else to go."

"Aww sweetie, I'm sorry...It's ok, it's going to be ok..." she pulled the still sobbing woman into her arms and rocked her until she quieted down. "You look tired...come on, let me get you something to sleep in and tuck you into bed, k?"

Terri rubbed her eyes with her closed fist, looking like a sleepy 3 year old, making Jaime's heart constrict with affection. She pulled her off the sofa and led her into the guest bedroom. Searching through her drawers, she finally found something that would fit Terri's small stature. She handed the clothes to her and when she returned after a few minutes, Terri was already tucked into bed and half asleep. Jaime smiled and went to wish her good night. Leaning down, she couldn't help but place a gentle kiss on Terri's temple.

The entire house was roused at 7am when her brother called on the phone. Picking up the phone and brushing the cobwebs from her eyes, Jaime groggily greeted the caller, "What?"

"Where is she?"

Jaime scratched her head, "Who is this?"

"Your brother, you ass. Where is she, where's Terri? Is she with you?"

"Yeah, she's here with me. Why the hell are you calling at 7 in the freaking morning?"

"Because I was worried! Ever think of that? But no...of course you never think of anyone but yourself..."

"Look, I don't have to hear this so early in the morning. Call later, after you learn some manners," and with that Jaime hung up.

Jaime raised her head from the couch and looked toward the doorway. Terri was standing there, looking all sleepy and frazzled in her terrycloth robe, looking as beautiful as ever. "How can you be so gorgeous so early in the morning?" She blurted out, unintentionally, but the slight blush on Terri's cheeks was worth the blunder.

"Only in your eyes..."

Jaime got off the couch and walked toward her. "No, to anyone with eyes..." She pulled the warm body into what was supposed to be a very brief embrace, but quickly turned into a heated exchange. No longer so sleepy, Terri sought Jaime's lips, kissing her neck and chin lightly on the way. Finally, she reached her goal. The soft, pliant lips felt like heaven pressed against hers. They were warm and inviting. A soft, excited moan escaped her throat when Jaime decided to bring her tongue into play. Without realizing where they were heading, Jaime was unconsciously pushing her in the direction of the bedroom. When the back of Terri's legs hit the mattress, they stopped. Breathing raggedly, Jaime tried to take a step back from her temptation. A small hand clasping her shirt front and a deep voice begging, "please, don't" and she was gone. She couldn't resist her any longer.

Falling into bed with her deepest desire, their movements were frantic. Their clothes long gone, their bodies slick with sweat, sliding against each other, seeking friction. Nothing seemed enough. They could never be close enough. Jaime wanted to slide inside Terri and never leave. Her body moved slickly against Terri's arching one. They were getting close and the nips and kisses became more and more frantic, rougher. Jaime thrust inside Terri with abandon. She knew no limits in this ethereal connection. They could taste ecstasy on the beads of sweat dotting the other's smooth skin. This was love and lust and love all over again. Raw emotion manifested in carnal possession. The rapture was earth-shattering. The cries, ear-splitting. The pleasure, ultimate, infinite.

There were angry red nail marks on Jaime's back and she hissed when a bead of sweat trailed down over them. She looked down at Terri, gazing at her as if for the first time. She looked more beautiful than ever. Satisfied; content; satiated. Her skin glowed and her eyes burned with something that was too long missing: life.

"I don't want to go back..." Terri said quietly.

Jaime didn't know what to say. She knew they were in big trouble, but she also knew one thing; she loved this woman, and she would not make the same mistake again of ever letting her go.

The End