Ann Coulter Goes Lesbian

For ten whole minutes, the nurse made love to Ann in the missionary position--not with any penis, but with her own pussy.

"Wow, I can see how you lesbos could get it on without needing a penis," said the blonde dipshit.

"Shhhhh" whispered Ashley. "Feel the wonders of lesbian sex!"

As Ann closed her eyes and entered a state of delirium, fueled by the rich feminine fragrance that flowed between them, she felt Ashley's body convulse and shake. The woman screamed loudly as her body tensed up and rammed into Ann's little cunt. A torrent of something hot and wet came pouring out of her onto Ann's body, and Ashley collapsed onto Ann.

Ann held her there for a minute, wondering what that substance on her pussy was.

Ashley lifted her head. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were glazed, and she was weak. "Oh, God. I ejaculated all over you."

"You did what?" exclaimed the lawyer. "I think you pissed on me!"

"No, I ejaculate sometimes. It's not pee ... I'm a nurse; I know about this kind of thing."

She prevented Ann from saying anything more, and the two lay there quietly for a long time. Then Ashley arose and headed for the kitchen to make coffee. Ann watched her voluptuous, curvy ass move in its seductive fashion. Then she reached onto the floor for Ashley's panties, brought them to her nose, and sniffed them.

She was still sniffing them when Ashley returned.

"Like that smell?"

Ann nodded. "Does this make me a lesbian?"

Ashley set down the coffee, climbed onto the bed, and straddled Ann's face. She let Ann smell her cunt odor for a while, while slowly grinding her hair and pink lips into Ann's nose.

Ashley smiled. "I don't know. Maybe you are. Maybe you're bi. Who knows?"

"You're a lesbian, aren't you?"

Ashley nodded her short brown hair. "Not what you expected, eh? But I'm not your stereotypical lesbian, despite the Subaru and Birkenstocks. Heck, I'm not even a complete liberal."

"Is that why you were so nice to me at the rally?"

"No, I did that BECAUSE I am a liberal."

From underneath the hairy pussy, Ann Coulter's eyes grew wide with wonder.

"But there are even a few things about the left wing that I can't stand."

"Such as?"

Ashley smiled. "Stick around long enough, and you may just find out."

ANN AND ASHLEY EAT ... AND HAVE MORE SEX

Ashley fed her new sex friend an all-natural meal, devoid of chemicals and processing. She prepared it in the nude, aware that Ann was gawking at her. She explained to Ann that this was food as God intended it, not as the God of the unregulated, chemicalized, Halliburtonesque, subsidized free market would have it. She watched as Ann nodded. "It's good. But you know, what will happen to all my chemical and industrial stocks if we all started eating as God intended us to? It would crash our whole society."

"Oh, but we would recover. We're very resilient. Besides, our future depends on it."

Ashley's pussy was tingling anew with the desire to rub itself on Ann's pussy. Ann's pussy was also tingling anew. They saw this fact in each other's eyes.

Ann watched as Ashley arose and brought out some wine. "Now you're going to get me drunk and do that grinding thing on me, right?"

The woman looked at Ann and smiled. "You're fascinated, aren't you?"

Ann looked down, then said "Yes. Yes, I am. It felt really good. I can still smell your coochie on my nose. No man I've ever known could eat me like you did. Not that I ever had that many men. Ashley, I'm a total asshole. I accuse everyone else of being gay. I have brought hatred and scorn upon myself."

"Yes, you certainly have. But you can change."

"No, I can't. It'll ruin my book sales. I've found my groove, Ashley. I was put here to make money being an asshole!"

"But you can always repent!"

The thought of repenting stayed on Ann's mind, but not the kind of repenting that Ashley was talking about. Soon, the naked nurse took Ann's hand and led her back to the bedroom.

There, she made the pundit caress her hairy legs. After that, she brought her thick armpit fur to Ann's face and rubbed it on her nose. Ann found the pheromones intoxicating. She spent the next several hours caressing Ashley's naked, hairy body, taking long licks up her pussy lips, putting her tongue inside, and sucking her clit. She placed her smooth cunt atop Ashley's and rubbed slowly and sensuously on it until both of them came. After that, she did it again. Then, she took a deep breath and bravely gave Ashley a twenty-minute rim job, parting the hair in her cheeks and licking the soft pink hole until Ashley came so hard she fainted.

Ann slept with her that night, holding Ashley tight as she dreamt good dreams, for a change.

IS SHE OR ISN'T SHE?

Was Ann Coulter a lesbian? Was she bi? Was she now left-wing? Ann herself wasn't convinced that she had changed in any way. Yet for the next week she masturbated so much that she could barely walk normally. She had that fucked-too-many-times walk. Speculation abounded. Bill Maher, no stranger to Ann's vagina, cracked a few jokes about it. Jay Leno remarked that perhaps she had finally gotten her head out of her ass and was having difficulty adjusting to a normal walk.

For weeks, Ann didn't know what to do. She was lost, confused. Then she got a call from Ashley. That call led to another night of placing her pussy on top of Ashley's, slicking the two areas with girl cum, and humping the hell out her. More and more nights followed. She found herself coming home at late hours with a sticky substance on her face. The late-night pundits had a field day with her. Condi stopped calling her up. Her church friends forsook her, one by one, leaving the sinner to be alone in her misery.

Desperate, she told Ashley she couldn't see her again, then turned and headed for the nearest church, her head spinning. Then, as she reached the church, a thought hit her.

"Duh! I'm such a blonde sometimes! Because I'm a sinner, it's inevitable that this will happen. All I have to do is repent, and all will be well again! If I sin again, I'll just repent again! Sin ... repent! Sin ... repent! Sin ... repent! I'm so glad I'm an evangelical. It's all so easy!"

She thought of Condi and how Condi dealt with her own lesbian fantasies. As she kneeled in church and prayed to be delivered of the throbbing in her cunt, she smiled and thought, "After all, Ted Haggard isn't attracted to men any longer. He got cured in a couple of weeks. And so will I!" She smiled. The white, Anglo-Saxon, pro-war, ultra-capitalist, Halliburton-positive Jesus in her mind smiled back at her.