Back to School

Chapter Three

I refilled my glass with port and called Haley. When she answered I said, "Hi, how did your surgery go?"

"Oh that, it was nothing and I'm fine now. They didn't even put me to sleep, they just made me very sleepy and a little drunk feeling."

"I'm glad. Listen did Joyce get there?"

"Yes, did you want to talk to her?"

"No, I just wondered, I can talk to her tomorrow when she gets home. Did she get there in good time?"

"Yes. She expected to be here by four yesterday, but she was almost two hours early. She must have driven like a crazy person."

She must have. Listen, don't mention to her that I called okay?"

"Okay, but why not, is everything okay?"

"I'll call you in a few days and explain it all."

"Promise?"

"I promise Haley. Kisses to you and I'm glad you're doing so well."

"Thank you Russ, bye." So now I knew that my darling wife didn't even need to be there for Haley, and on top of that there were a couple of days Joyce was unaccounted for. I was really getting mad now.

Then I jumped on her computer and composed an e-mail to Rob. "Hi love, it's me are you surprised? Listen I have to type this quickly because Russ is in the next room, but can you get over here tomorrow right at one thirty? I have a surprise for you that will just blow you away. Let me know as soon as you can okay? Love you, bye for now." Then like her other ones I ended it with X's and O's across the bottom and hit send. There was no going back now.

I stayed in the computer room for what remained of the evening and checked my e-mail every few minutes, not trusting myself to hear the tone saying I had mail. It was almost eleven o'clock when his reply came in. "Joyce honey I'm so eager to see you that I reread your message twice. Of course I'll be there, but I can't stay too long. But a little time with you is so much better than no time with you. I can't wait to see what your surprise honey. I love you..." and that was the end. I'd hooked my fish, so now all I had to do was wait for him to come to me. Then I had another good cry.

I spent Wednesday morning working like a mad man, and then took the afternoon off. Beth arrived just after twelve and we shared a warm embrace and looked at each other. "Any last minute thoughts?"

"No. I'd give anything to have this all be a bad dream but it isn't and I think making sure they know there is no way they can lie their way out of this mess is a good thing."

"I'm going to do everything I can not to lose my temper with Joyce or cry. There's going to be no doubt about my anger and even rage, but I'm not going to let her see any weakness on my part. I can cry all I want afterward."

"I feel the same way Russ. I can't say I won't shed tears, because I know I will, but he will see my anger too."

"Have you thought about what you'll do afterward?"

"No, I'm going to just wait and see what happens and what is says. I have three or four possible scenarios in my mind so he's not about to catch me off guard and get me flustered. I'm far too mad to let that happen. Are you sure about her arrival time?"

"Based on the other times that she has made the drive, I'm pretty confident I'm accurate to within fifteen minutes."

"So you may have to face her and act normal for quite awhile then."

"I hope not, but I'm prepared to do that if I have to. I'm sorry I have to abandon you for awhile."

"Don't worry about me I'll be fine." Now all we had to do was pass the next forty five minutes or so and listen for her car to pull into the garage. I just hoped she didn't get home too early, because Beth would have to hide and I would have to hide my true feelings from Joyce until the right moment.

We sat on the side of the bed in the guest room and at first talked about our straying spouses, but then moved on to more pleasant topics. "Beth I know we just met but I'm really glad you're here."

"And I'm glad I have you to lean on Russ. I like to think that we would have survived this disaster on our own, but having each other to lean on will help a lot. Misery really does love company I guess." I smiled just as we heard the garage door opening. We looked at each other and she leaned over to me and kissed me lightly. "Good luck Russ."

"Good luck to you Beth. We will survive just as you said and in the end we will be stronger."

"And wiser I hope." We shared a quick embrace and then I headed toward the kitchen to greet my wife as she came in from the garage.

Chapter Four

I was standing at the table when she appeared and I felt my stomach turn. For an instant it was great to see her again, but then reality invaded my thoughts. She was pulling her small suitcase behind her and smiled at me when she saw me. "I didn't expect you to be home."

"We had a power failure at the office," I lied. "How is Haley?"

"Oh you know, recovering. Sick from the anesthesia and sore but getting better." She sounded so sincere and believable. I had to wonder just how often she had lied to me in the past that I wasn't aware of. "Did you enjoy your days as a bachelor?"

"Not really ,but then I had no desire to go back to being a bachelor again." I very nearly said too much so I stopped talking and busied myself making coffee. I didn't really want any, but it was something to do at that moment. She came over and kissed me quickly and headed to the bedroom to empty her suitcase and put it away, and I looked at the kitchen clock. One fifteen. Fifteen minutes until Rob would arrive. I thought back to how hard I had worked to figure out who Rob seven eight three three three was. Now it really didn't matter and all of that effort and setting him up to confront him didn't seem all that important anymore. But on the other hand I was glad to have Beth to lean on and share my grief with, so that told me my efforts hadn't been wasted after all. It was like Beth had said before. We had each other as backup. We would have each other to turn to if and when things became overwhelming for either of us.

Joyce took her time unpacking and I had a very strong urge to go check on Beth hiding in the guest room. I was still thinking about her hiding in there when the doorbell rang. I quickly slipped into the bathroom and called out, "Joyce would you get that please?" The bathroom door was about half closed, but I had a glimpse of her as she headed toward the front door. I dashed across the hall to the guest room and looked at Beth as she stood there with tears in her eyes. I gave her a very quick hug and then raced to the end of the hall and staying just out of sight listened as she opened the door. She was almost whispering as she said, "What are you doing here, Russ is home."

I heard nothing, but I could easily imagine him standing there with a confused look on his face. I stepped out and said, "Well aren't you going to let him in?" Joyce looked at me and then at Rob, but she seemed to be having trouble thinking of what to say. "Come in Rob there's more to your surprise." I called back to Beth and softy told her to come out and a second later she was standing next to me. "Joyce darling I'd like you to meet Beth Steed. I'm sure Rob has mentioned her name to you a time or two. She's the woman who's life you two are destroying along with mine." Joyce was still silent as she stepped back and Rob appeared. "Not so nice to meet you Rob. Look around because it won't be long before Joyce doesn't live here anymore."

Joyce finally found her voice and said, "What do you mean...what's...what's this all about?"

Beth stepped forward and bluntly said, "It's about you fucking my husband. About both of you fucking behind our backs. Rob, just like Joyce you better be thinking about where you're going to live."

Then it was back to me. "Rob I'm sure you have figured it out by now, but just in case you haven't, I'm the one that sent you that e-mail." Joyce looked at me in confusion so I added, "Yes I know about your steamy notes to each other. In fact, Beth and I know quite a bit about your infidelities and yes I consider an on line affair as being unfaithful let alone actually fucking as Beth so accurately put it. Joyce, I'd suggest you spend the rest of this afternoon looking for a place to rent." Rob managed to mumble that he was leaving and he left her standing there crying softly.

Beth gave me a warm embrace before saying, "I'm leaving to Russ. Thank you for everything, but now I have to go home and take care of some things."

"Bye Beth and thanks for being here. We'll talk later." She walked over to Joyce and just stared at her for several seconds and then left. I didn't know what to do next. I hadn't thought about anything beyond the confrontation, so I went to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee that I still didn't want. After a taste I added a generous amount of whisky to it and stood there sipping as I looked out of the window over the sink as Joyce headed to our bedroom. Then I had a second cup of coffee with just a little less whisky in it and then poured the rest of the coffee down the drain. Joyce finally reappeared but she was still crying as she said, "Russ I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry you've destroyed everything. If you had a problem or I was or wasn't doing something right, all you had to do was say so. You chose the wrong solution to a problem that I don't think even existed."

"I didn't mean for anything to happen, it just did."

"No it didn't just happen. You had to consciously say yes to him some time ago. Yes to dinner or drinks or whatever, but you said yes. Then you continued to say yes or I'm sure even instigated some things. Things like flashing... bondage...fucking...well you get the idea. Each time all you had to do was say no. But you didn't and I saw no evidence that you had any intention of ending your fling. I don't know if you really love him as you proclaim or not, and I really don't give a damn. That changes nothing as far as I'm concerned."

"Can't we at least try to put things back together?"

"That takes two of us and I just can't find it in me to forgive you and I could never trust you again."

"But I've never done anything like this before."

"I only have your word for that and you've lied to me often enough that your word isn't worth much. Besides, we're not talking about one roll in the bed. We're not talking about one passionate fucking event. We're talking about week after week after week of hot correspondence and screwing behind my back.

"But it hasn't been that long."

"Bingo, another lie. You just can't seem to tell the truth. Want me to show you your e-mails? All of them?" She didn't answer that question.

"So what happens now?"

"Now you find an apartment or whatever and we let the lawyers fight it out and decide who gets what and when."

"What about you getting an apartment?"

"I probably will before it's over. I know you can't afford the house on your own and I don't think I can either, but I'll tell you right now I'm not leaving until I have to. You brought this on I didn't."

"I think we could work this out if you'd just try."

"Try to forgive you for all that you have done? Try to forgive you for lying to me over and over? You just lied to me a minute ago and you lied to me about Haley's surgery and recovery. You lied to me about you even needing to be there for her. How the hell could you really expect me to turn my back on all of those lies? It isn't going to happen Joyce. If you lie to Rob the same way, you'll lose him too if that hasn't already happened."

"What do you mean?"

"Does he really love you or does he love the adventure of an affair? Does he say what you want to hear or does he mean it? He cheated on Beth again and again, so how do you know he hasn't cheated on you or won't in the future?" She just turned and walked away and within an hour she left the house without saying anything to me.

Chapter Five

I moved into the guest room and for the next four days we coexisted with minimal conversation, and I never let her see me cry or even show any emotion for that matter. By the fourth day I was past the crying and that was replaced with hurt. Deep down pain, but at least that kept my raging anger in check.

Joyce finally rented a furnished apartment and then took what she needed of linens and kitchen items. As she prepared to leave for the last time she stopped and told me, "Russ I'm sorry, I really am."

"I am too Joyce. What was it about me or our relationship that made you vulnerable? What did you feel was missing or wrong with us?"

"I don't know, I really don't. Maybe our lives were becoming so predictable, but that's just a guess and I don't offer that as an excuse. Maybe someday I'll be able to understand what happened." Then she walked toward the front door, said goodbye and walked out of my life leaving her door key and garage door opener on the counter. For a minute I sat there and hoped her life would be a living hell, but then I wished her the best and cried once again until Will called.

"Hey Buddy."

"Hi Will."

"Damn, you sick or something?"

"Joyce and I have separated."

"You're shittin' me."

"I wish I was."

"No wonder I haven't heard from you, was this your doing or hers or is it none of my business?"

"Well if I can't tell you then I have another problem. It was my doing. Let's just say she found some outside entertainment that I didn't approve of."

"Oh shit man, why the hell would she do that?"

"I wish I knew. They always say it takes two to make a marriage and two to ruin it, but I'll be damned if I can figure out what I did wrong, at least at this point."

"What can I do to help?"

"Unwind the clock so I can go back a couple of months."

"I would if I could. Want me to come over?"

"I wouldn't be very good company right now but thanks. I'll be okay, I just need some time."

"Don't sit there and rot from the inside. I won't bug you, but if I don't hear from you in a few days I'm coming over there okay? Remember I've been through what you're going through."

"I hear ya and thanks. Talk to you soon."

It was two weeks later almost to the day when Beth called me. "Hi Russ how are you getting along?"

"Hi Beth, I'm a little better how about you?"

"About the same as you I guess. Some days are worse than others, but I'll survive. Would you like to have dinner someplace?"

"I'd really like that, anyplace in mind?"

"Oh, how about the Waterfront in, say an hour?"

"Great, see you there or shall I come to your place?"

"I'll meet you there." It sounded good to hear her voice again. We both understood where the other one was coming from and neither of us had to worry about wrong messages being sent. If I put my arms around her it was for comfort and if she kissed my cheek it was for the same reason.

When I saw her standing near the door we smiled at each other and fell into a long embrace. "You look very nice Beth."

"Thank you." We went in and were soon engaged in conversation. "You look good too Russ. It was nice to see you smiling."

"It felt good to smile again and I owe that to seeing you."

"Have you filed for divorce yet?"

"Last week, have you decided what you'll do?"

"I filed last week too. Rob is in the house and I found a very nice apartment. I don't ever want to see that house again or anything in it."

"I'm sure we won't exactly feel like celebrating, but once the divorces are final we'll have to get together. Maybe we can treat it like a wake."

She laughed and said, "Yes, let's do that. We'll wear black armbands and look all somber and get about half drunk."

"Perfect, that will give us something to look forward to."

She took my hand in hers and asked me, "Do you still cry?"

"Not anymore, do you?"

"I think I have it out of my system, but I'm not sure. I'm so hurt and mad at him that I think I cry because I wasted eight years of my life with him."

"Were you happy before all of this happened?"

"It's funny you ask that, because about a week ago I spent some time thinking about that. I stand corrected, we were happy for the first four years for sure, but with the perfect vision that hind sight gives me, I can see how things started to change between us. We didn't argue or anything like that. It was more a slow disconnection I guess. We were comfortable with each other, and of course took each other for granted like so many couples do. Anyway that's all in the past now," and she picked up her glass and said, "Here's to our future." We touched glasses just as the waiter returned for our order.

We talked through dinner, but avoided talking about our problems and instead looked for fun things to discuss. I admitted to being inept when I was young and dating and told her about the different times I'd made a fool of myself . I exaggerated things a little, but it made her laugh and that's what we needed.

"Beth could we do this again in a week or two?"

"I'd like that. Okay we'll meet at Brewster's one week from now at the same time." "Perfect, we can have burgers and just a little too much beer."

"A perfect prescription for what ails us I'd say."

I got a little serious and asked her, "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"I don't know what it would be, but thank you for asking. I could ask the same of you though. What can I do to help you adjust to your new life?'

"Like you, I can't think of anything right now and I really wish I could. It feels so good to be out with you. I'm relaxed and I feel like I've know you for a year instead of a couple of weeks."

"No pretenses that's why. We both know that all we want and need right now is a good friendship. We can share our grief and anger as well as laughs without me worrying that you're trying to get into...sorry that was tacky. Without worrying about us getting serious." I was laughing at her before she even finished.

"Beth you are something. You're right though. No real social pressures for us. I can be the real me and the same with you."

She was about half blushing as she said, "I think the wine is starting to affect my thought processes. I don't know why I started to say that and I'm sorry."

"I'm not, that was so refreshing and funny. I liked you as soon as I met you and now I like you even more."

She smiled and I almost got the feeling there was a hint of the devil in it. "At least I made you laugh."

"Yes you did." I wanted to ask her back to my place so we could continue talking, but I decided that might not be a good idea. We abandoned the last of our wine and walked out to her car. The air was cool but not too bad and we continued to talk. I leaned against her car and told her, "There is one thing you could do for me if you would."

"Yes of course, just name it."

"Put your arms around me again." She looked at me and smiled as my arms opened to her and we fell into another long embrace. "Yes this really is just what I need."

She put her head on my shoulder then and said, "I agree, this is good medicine. Wouldn't it be something to have Rob and Joyce catch us right now?

I kissed her neck then and said, "Well at least there's nothing they could say."

She kept her arms around me and leaned back just enough to look at me as she said, "I'll bet they'd think of something to say."

"You know what I think? I think holding you is doing more good for my frame of mind than anything else that I could come up with."

"We have to be careful that we don't fall into that rebound trap though."

"You're right of course, but one or two hugs a week can't hurt us can it?"

She smiled and admitted, "No I'm sure we can handle that okay, but I better warn you about something."

"What's that?"

"Kissing the side of my neck is kind of a hot button for me."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know."

She kissed me quickly and added, "I'm not complaining, but I thought I should tell you that."