Battle Royal

This went on for months. I would time Kay's appearance in my office for Martha's schedule. We would fuck our brains out. Some things that should have been as clear as day didn't percolate into my dime store brain.

1.Kay seemed to be gaining weight for some reason.

2.Her breasts were also enlarging; they had been perfect; now they were perfect but getting huge.

3.Her nipples were constantly erect.

4.Her belly was becoming...what's the word: swollen?

Gee, perhaps she was pregnant? Here was this beautiful mature matron, obviously pregnant and almost as obviously pregnant due to me. One day, Kay sat on the chair having champagne with me (I never had the heart to tell her that mine was apple juice...I never drank and if I did, I would never drink champagne.) Who should saunter in but Martha. One of the herd of wildebeests in the main room was a friend of Martha and told her that she thought some hanky-panky might be going on in the office. So, Martha showed up unexpectedly. She found nothing, except for me having a drink with a pregnant woman.

Martha: "And who is this broad?" [She actually realized she knew her.]

Me: "This LADY is Kay. The only reason that she's back here is that the herd of water buffalo out there didn't want her around."

Martha: "Yes, I heard that from my friend Fran, the slightly overweight redhead." [Slightly? She was a good 220 lbs. easy; she could be an effective fullback on any NFL team.]

Martha: "My, my, you are as big as the women out there. I wonder why they didn't want you among them? Could it be that this size isn't from camping out at Chick-fil-A or Fannie Farmer?"

To Kay's surprise and mine, Martha went up to her and ripped open that leotard. She stared into Kay's eyes, but all the while massaged the thumb sized nipples that were constantly erect and throbbing on Kay's perfect boobs. My homely wife kept up the pace as she now lectured her enemy.

Martha: "You know, you don't look like one of my diet-challenged friends. You look like one of those lucky sluts who just shed pounds without dieting. My type always hated you sexpots. It's just that...OH MY GOD, THERE'S MILK!!!"

She had been massaging the nipples relentlessly. Now, finally, rivulets of warm, sweet breastmilk first oozed and then sprayed out. Martha attached a hungry mouth and suckled voraciously. She finished one breast and then the other. God help me, as I heard her noisily drinking, I got red hot. Then, just as suddenly, she wiped her mouth as if it never happened.

Martha: "As you see, my interest is in that big belly. She's obviously not fat; she's in great shape. That belly is a baby bump. So, the mystery is: how did that happen. I know Kay and her husband, like Fran does. She said that the common gossip at church charity doings was that Kay's hubby couldn't 'get it done' anymore at 62. The hags at the cake sale wondered if she was going to find a new stud. Well, I guess she DID. And not just with anyone: she got back at me, her life-long enemy, by stealing my husband. Worse, she got him to bring a child into this cruel world...his seed into her. We had a bet back on the school playgrounds about who would win in life. I had won, only now to see I had lost it all."

I had no idea that I had stumbled into a lifelong 'battle royal' between two lifelong enemies. By marrying one but then being stolen by the other, I had clearly established a winner and loser. It would be nice to say that I immediately ran home and tried to cheer up my no-neck monster wife. Well, no, I did nothing of the sort. I took my time getting home. When I got there, I had to call 9-1-1. Dear Martha had taken eleven of her sleeping pill prescription and was quite out of it. They told me if I had gone straight home, they could easily have saved her, but with the hours of delay, it was far too late. I wish, I really wish, I could say I was sad, but...

Martha by no means had her parents' estate in her control, as they both were still living. Nonetheless, her own estate was $3million. Though her parents were extremely suspicious of me, the coroner's findings were as clear as black and white.

I also inherited those two businesses. In honor of my dear departed wife, the tearoom was converted into 'Martha's Topless T-and-A Room'. The workout place was still called BABE, but I finally got to install those mirrors. As I expected, the herd of grazing water buffalo moved to the next watering hole; I then recruited local college babes and had some real foxes sweating to the new 'oldies'. Just as before, Kay and I would hide ourselves back in the office.

She had asked me what to do about the baby. I told her to give birth...she had to keep my baby. As to her useless hubby, I figured out our campaign. Kay would warn him that she could go to the next cake sale and tell the truth (that she cheated on him and had a baby while in wedlock.) Of course, she could tell the hags that he had done the honors and was still quite the man. It was his choice. Well...IT WORKED! She said she never saw such a proud look on his old kisser! He was going to be a proud 'papa' at his advanced age. Well, that was our story and we would stick to it.

Kay was 50 when we first started our little relationship. I could afford to tour the world and hunt down the hottest gold-diggers, but I actually loved Kay. So, we kept up the charade for five more years. By then, we had used up all of her reproductive years. We had five children, all of which were attributed to her proud-as-punch hubby. One night, as he happily heard the bawling of 'his' throng of children in the mansion, he left this 'veil of tears' at the age of 67.

Now I could move into the home with Kay and our five children. If I was a gold-digger myself, a gigolo, a 'tramp' if you will, I had done well. I had $3million from my years of suffering with Martha, and now stood to gain $20million with Kay. Unlike Martha, however, I enjoyed the time with the beautiful and loving Kay, as well as our perfect little family of seven.

As this was almost a fairy tale, it would only make sense that it had a fairy tale ending.

Over the course of all this time, I had forgotten my two amigas de amor south-of-the-border: Lupita and her mom. After Kay passed on, I was left high and dry, having to struggle on with only a mansion, $23million, and a handful of children to raise (five). It then occurred to me that I might have a final chapter to this story just sitting and waiting for me.

I contacted the hotel where I had had that fateful honeymoon with Martha. Sure enough, Lupita was still working there as was her mother. They both now listed one child on their employee cards; both of the kids had an anglo name (i.e. my name). I spoke to them (thank goodness their English had improved, unlike my Spanish). Well, to make a long story short, I took my money and five kids and moved to Mexico. Instead of a nice home in Texas, we got an entire hacienda, including a nice herd of longhorn cattle.

Well, our digs were pretty nice. The seven kids were in a separate building, attended to by two aunts. Lupita and her mom shared the master bedroom with yours truly. Those two, fit as Olympic gymnasts from years of hard work, would be two parts of the best ménage-a-trois in history. We were all in good shape, and none of us would tire out until we had all gotten off. You can't imagine how proud I felt after we finished and I got off the communal bed. There were two of the hottest Latinas that ever shook a booty, both of them dripping huge creampies from their still fertile cunts. Our big new digs had room for as many as fifteen 'guests'; we already had seven children, so it was only fitting that we added eight more just to avoid having unused rooms. It was tough work, but someone had to do it. Best of all, with the kids being cared for in the separate building, the three of us could dispense with clothing all week-end. Talk about a man's cave...I could watch ESPN to my heart's content, with snacks served by naked Latina wenches. And, when the whim struck me, I could just pull one of them down, pump them for all they were worth, and make a heavy contribution to their deepest, warmest, recesses.

Nice...