Best Intentions Ch. 01byRainierWriterII©
The next few weeks were like silent torture. Darren found reasons to be out of the house, even spending some nights at his father's place, which I know he didn't like to do. On the rare occasions when he was home, he was constantly in his room with the door closed in protest. Over dinner I'd receive the silent treatment, before he'd clean his plate and leave me alone once more.
Boy, I had really made a mess of things. I was mad at Darren, but even madder at myself. All my intentions had been so good, and now here I was feeling the worst I had in my entire life. If possible, I felt lower than I had during my divorce. I tried to engage Darren in conversation on a few occasions, but he'd either waive me off or ignore me completely. Almost every evening, I'd cry myself to sleep wondering how I'd let this all happen.
One night at work, Deb, my lesbian friend, struck up a conversation with me. She seemed to know something was wrong, and asked me if everything was okay. I broke down in tears and told her I was having trouble with Darren. She ushered me into an empty patient room and closed the door, then stood behind me rubbing my shoulders as I cried. I must say, it was wonderful to have someone so close, and I found myself leaning back into her for support. My emotions had been so on edge of late, I basked in her attention.
"Tell me what's wrong," she stated as she softly kneaded my tense muscles.
I began blabbing about Darren, and how we weren't speaking, but of course I couldn't tell her why. Words poured out of my mouth, basically telling her I felt like a failure as a mother. She was wonderful and listened to everything without judgment. "That's it, let it all out," she said as she caressed me.
When I calmed down a bit, Deb wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace, and then softly began kissing my neck and cheek. I actually twisted my head to provide her better access. She must have been encouraged by my reaction, because her hands slowly moved up my tummy until she was cupping my breasts. Deb whispered in my ear, "Let me make you feel better, Jan." I almost fainted.
With my busy work schedule, I rarely had time to date. In all honesty, I had not been intimate with another person in over a year, and never with a woman. But at that moment my body was simply on fire.
A moan escaped my lips as she rolled my hard nipples between her fingers. She seemed to intuitively know exactly what I liked, and began toying with all my hotspots. Her kisses moved up the tender flesh of my neck until she took my earlobe between her teeth and gently tugged it playfully. At that very moment she ran a hand down my belly until she pressed it up firmly against my mound.
A huge part of me wanted to give into the sensations and just let her take me, but I simply couldn't. I was nervous about being with a woman, but was also terribly afraid of being caught in such a compromising position at work and possibly losing my job. With a great effort, I forced her hands away and almost ran out of the room, saying, "I'm so sorry, Debby."
That morning I drove home slowly, wanting to arrive after Darren left for school. I went to the bathroom and took a long hot shower, trying to wash away all my troubles. As I soaped my chest, I couldn't help but remember the feel of Deb's hands on my breasts. She had been so gentle with me, the moment was almost magical.
I slowly began caressing my nipples as I thought about her soft kisses on my neck. One hand ran down my body until it was between my legs, just as she had done. I began subtly teasing my excited clit, and occasionally moved them lower to dip them inside of me. My mind had been so preoccupied with Darren of late, I had not pleasured myself, and I let my mind take me away and began rubbing with vigor. After only another minute or so, my body shuddered to a truly satisfying orgasm.
After I exited the shower, I toweled off and made my way to bed. My body was still tingling, certainly ready for more attention. I grabbed the small shoebox I kept hidden in the back of the closet, and pulled out my vibrator. Other than my own fingers, it was the only thing that had been inside my pussy in ages, and today it was going to get a workout.
I eased myself down onto the bed, and basked in the softness of the cotton sheets against my naked skin. My fingers twisted the base of my toy to turn it on its lowest setting, and then I began teasing my nipples with the tip, one at a time. I thought about Deb once more as my nipples grew hard, and wondered just what else she would have done to me if given the time. I imagined her rubbing them, and then bending over to kiss and suck them.
My chest rose and fell with each deep breath as I worked my nubbins. The fire in my loins that had started earlier had not been extinguished, so I ran the vibe down my belly until I contacted my pussy. The hard plastic tip slid easily across my wet labia as I caressed the entire area, drawing contented sighs from my lips. After only a minute or two, I couldn't wait any longer and eased the fake cock into my cunt.
I twisted the base once more and turned the toy up higher, in great need of more stimulation. Feeling it probing my insides, I suddenly forgot about Deb and instead imagined a young stud sliding his prick deep within me. My mind first went to Doctor Sampson, a surgeon who was frequently seen on my floor. He was married, but rumor had it he had been with half the staff. Word at the nurse's station was that he was quite good too.
For some reason, at that moment I suddenly thought of Darren. My eyes quickly went to the door, needing to ensure nobody was there watching me as had happened before. I was relieved to find that I had closed it tight, and at that time he should have been safely in his second period class at school.
I tried to refocus on Dr. Sampson once more, but his face kept slowly morphing into that of my own son. I did my best to fight the image, but as I began driving the vibrator in and out with greater urgency, it was Darren's face that I saw. I spite of myself, when I came I whimpered, "Oh my baby."My hips rocked violently as I rode the orgasm out as long as possible, before I rolled into the sheets, desperate for sleep to take me.
My mind was quite troubled the next few days. Darren was still avoiding me, which was actually okay given the fact that I had been fantasizing about him both in my dreams and when I toyed with myself. I was also ashamed of how I ran out on Deb at work, but was growing more comfortable with that decision. The more I thought of it, the more I thought she was trying to take advantage of me when I was at a low point. I still liked her, but was a bit disappointed by her behavior.
I let things stay the same at home for another two weeks, but by then I felt like I was going to lose my mind. Deep down I was afraid I may have lost my boy for good, the thought of which just killed me. Something had to change.
As I lay in bed one sleepless evening, I thought about what Darren had asked for. Would it really be that bad? After all, he had already seen me once; could another time make things any worse? Right there and then I made up my mind. I would do it for him, but with two caveats to which he had to expressly agree.
As I made dinner the next night I was on pins and needles. I downed a glass of wine as I cooked, trying to steady my frazzled nerves. I was really going to do this. As we ate I once again received the silent treatment, as expected. When he was almost done with his plate, I took a couple deep breathes, and said, "Darren, I have something I need to discuss with you."
He said nothing, but simply rolled his eyes. Teenagers!
I took a long sip of my wine and asked, "You know the thing you asked me to do? The thing you wanted to see?"
Immediately I saw him perk up and look at me intently. Clearly his interest was piqued and he wanted to know more as he rapidly nodded his head.
"Well, I'm willing to do it," I said as calmly as possible, and after a brief pause added, "Under two conditions." Darren's eyes went wide as manhole covers, as he sat in stunned silence. "You have to agree with everything I ask, or it's no deal. Do you understand?"
Darren nodded his head again vigorously, but I told him I needed to hear him agree. "Yea, I understand," he answered enthusiastically.
"First, this is a onetime only occurrence. It happens once and we never even talk about it again." I took a bit of time to let it sink in, while Darren sat listening intently. "Second, under no circumstances do you tell another living soul about this, particularly your father. I hope you understand the magnitude of what you asked for and what it could mean for both of us if anyone found out," I stated, staring directly into his eyes.
"Okay, I agree," he quickly muttered, nodding his head like a bobble head doll.
I had expected this, so I calmly responded, "No Darren, it's not that easy. I want you to think about this carefully for a while before you agree. We do this once only, and then pretend it never, ever happened." I don't think he knew quite how to respond, so I added, "I'm going to my room for a while, and then I'm going to take a long bath. I want you to come to my room at 8:30 and let me know your final decision. That will give you ninety minutes or so to think this over, okay?"
"Sure Mom, eight thirty," he replied enthusiastically.
On shaky legs, I put my dishes away and headed towards the safety of my room. I closed the door and sat on my bed for a long while, head in hands. Was I completely insane?
I may have enjoyed a couple of glasses of wine earlier, but my mind seemed sharp as a tack. An ongoing dialog ran back and forth in my head nonstop. At times I listened to the voice that said this was crazy and I needed to stop things before they got out of control. But at others a more resolute voice emphasized it was the only way to move forward, so I needed to steel my nerves and just get it over with.
After sitting in the darkness of my room for almost an hour, I made my way into the tub and poured a warm bubble bath. I settled in under the thick suds, and relaxed as best as I could given the circumstances. By that point I had made the decision to go on with the show, and just hoped the consequences would not be too great for either of us.
Since this was going to be a onetime only event, I figured I would make it memorable. Deciding I could use a little personal maintenance, I grabbed my razor from the shelf and proceeded to clean up all over. I remembered how all the playmates in the magazines I purchased were completely bare down below, so I with a bit of care I did the same. After I completed the task, I softly ran my hands all across the area. I'm not really sure what I expected, but everywhere I touched seemed more sensitive than it had before with hair.
Upon exiting the tub, I dried off with a large bath sheet, and then wrapped myself in my thick terry robe. I went back and forth from the dresser to the closet as I contemplated what to wear. Obviously I needed something that would provide access so I could touch myself, but just how much did I want to show? I didn't know if I could actually let Darren see my vagina, maybe just a quick glimpse under a nightgown or skirt.
I settled on a short lavender nightie I had not worn in ages. It was a gift from my ex on our last Valentine's Day together, and had remained in my drawer since long before the divorce. When I looked in the mirror, I liked what I saw. It was a sexy little number, but more classy than slutty, something I felt pretty comfortable wearing in my son's presence.
Maybe this would be a good time to tell you about myself. I stand about five foot five, with blue eyes and long dishwater blonde hair. I have a medium build, with large breasts and a pretty firm butt. I've been told I'm quite attractive, but I would describe myself more as girl next-door cute as opposed to hot.
I sat down in front on my makeup mirror and added just a hint of color to my face. My cheeks were flush as I was already anxiously anticipating what was to come. After fixing my hair, I looked at the clock and it was almost eight thirty, so I stood and moved to the bed.
Wanting to look sexy, I sat back against my headboard, propped up by a few pillows. I spread my arms out across the pillows; trying my best to look like a vamp from the movies I had seen when I was younger. My pulse quickened as I awaited Darren's arrival, just certain he was going to agree to my conditions as he had earlier.
At exactly eight thirty, there was a soft knock on my door. Words almost stuck in my mouth, but somehow I was able to grumble, "Come in."
Slowly the door cracked open, and in walked my son. He came forward just a few steps, and then stood tentatively near the foot of the bed, looking more nervous than I was. I let him soak me in for a short time, and then asked, "So, have you made a decision?"
Darren nodded his head and replied, "Yes."
I just stared back at him and asked, "And?"
"I want to do this."
"And you agree with everything I asked?"
Even though I had resolved to go through with it, the magnitude of the situation didn't hit me until that very moment. My son wanted to watch me masturbate, and I was actually going to do it. Suddenly I felt tightness in my chest and a light sweat began to break out all over my body. I had to take a couple deep breaths before I told him to have a seat on the bed.
Darren sat staring at me for a while, I'm sure expecting the show to begin, but I hadn't really thought how to proceed. I mean, what exactly did he expect to see? I looked back at him, but that only made me too nervous, so I closed my eyes and moved my hands to my belly.
I had never done this before, not even for Darren's father, so I figured I would start slow and see where things went. Very gently, I began to caress my stomach with both hands, and gradually moved them up and down my torso. After playing the tease for a while, I ran my hands to my breasts and cupped them through the thin material of the nightgown. My fingers lightly kneaded the soft flesh before I touched my hard nipples. There was no escaping the fact that I was already getting very turned on.
My mind raced as I wondered just what Darren might be thinking. Was he turned on by my display, or was he disgusted that his mother could do something so overtly sexual? My eyes had been closed the entire time, but I had to see the expression on his face. When I opened them, I found Darren starring at me intently. There was a look of wonder on his face, certainly not disgust. I couldn't help but glance down to his crotch, and discovered a surprisingly large lump in his jeans. My baby boy was excited, the thought of which sent a shiver down my spine.
I had been turned on of late flaunting my body around town, but nowhere close to the way I was feeling at that moment. There I was, actually touching myself, for my own son's benefit no less. Suddenly my inhibitions seemed to fly out the window, and I wanted to put on a good show for him.
I began to roll my nipples between my fingers, as I stared directly into Darren's eyes. Every now and then I would give them a tug or a squeeze, which actually made me whimper loud enough for him to hear. When I decided to do this for him, I contemplated letting him see me naked, but thought the chances were next to nil that I'd actually go through with it. Yet at that moment I impulsively was determined to let him see me in all my glory.
Very slowly I slid one hand to my shoulder, and eased the spaghetti strap down my arm. Gazing at him intently, I then did the same on the other side. The nightie remained in place, clinging to my chest in defiance of gravity. Not a word had been spoken in minutes, when I finally broke the silence with, "Do you want to see them?"
I didn't think Darren's face could be any redder, but I was wrong. As a crimson hue washed over his face, he quietly answered, "Yes."
Very sensually, I moved my fingers back to my chest, and traced them back and forth over the silky fabric. I then curled them just under the lace seam, and slowly pulled downwards. Inch by inch I dropped the nightie, until my breasts came fully into view.
Darren looked astounded as he unabashedly soaked in the sight of my unencumbered boobs. I have always been told my breasts were nice, and judging by the look on his face, my son thought so too. My 36 C titties were still pretty firm, and were capped by cute pink nipples, which were hard as little rocks at that moment. I cupped my breasts once more, and began toying with them. Starring back into his eyes, I asked, "Do you like them, sweetie?"
He didn't say a word but just nodded profusely. I saw him adjust the way he was sitting; I'm sure due to the stiff member that was mounding his slacks obscenely. A perverse thrill ran throughout my body, knowing I was the reason for his condition.
I began to play with my nipples once more, tweaking them for both mine and Darren's benefit. I'm not sure I had ever felt them so hard, and I loved giving them a gentle squeeze from time to time to keep my blood flowing. Feeling very naughty, I asked, "So, are these as nice as your old girlfriends?"
With a sigh, he muttered, "Nicer."
I was thrilled by his response, because I could tell from his expression that he was being honest. The fact that my forty three year old boobs could still complete with his teeny bopper friends made me feel amazing, yet I was determined to give him more.
My body was on fire and I knew that an orgasm could not be far off. I ran one hand from my chest down my belly, until I cupped my mound. I pressed my fingers tightly into my crotch, savoring both the feeling I had and the look on my son's face as I did so. I couldn't help but whimper as my fingers ran over the soft material covering my over-heated sex.
I slumped down lower into the bed, and slowly dragged my feet up to my bottom. With the sexiest smile I could muster, I eased my knees open, until I was spread wide for his gaze. The nightie and my hand were still covering my groin, but little else was left up to his imagination. Emboldened by my earlier question and felling a bit naughty, I asked, "Did your girlfriends ever let you see them down here?"
Darren didn't say a word; he just shook his head no.
"So, do you want to see me?"
I actually heard him suck in air, before he gasped, "Yes."
"Good boy," I whispered with a wink, as I moved my hand from my crotch to grasp the hem of the nightie. Very slowly, I drew the gown upwards until my vagina was completely revealed. I looked down at my freshly shaven crotch, and found my labia were puffed out in excitement and covered in a sheen of dew. I had never really found that part of my body particularly sexy before, but suddenly I thought it looked really hot. I was like the women in those magazines, but only here in real life.
My lips were soaking wet and very warm as I lightly traced my fingers up and down my slit. I was ready to explode with a climax at any moment, so I decided to slow things down just a touch. Knowing that Darren had never seen a woman in this way before, my inner-nurse decided to give him an anatomy lesson. I figured if anyone ever found out what had happened between us, I could insist it was just a Sex Ed class.
With my feet pulled up the way they were, there was a large gap between Darren and me, so I asked him to move closer. As he slid, his hands covered his groin; I'm sure trying to hide his arousal. I'm sure it was not very erotic, but part of me wanted to tease him to prolong things. I used my fingers to hold myself open as I pointed out the various parts of the female form. I intentionally left the clitoris for last, and explained its wonders while gently caressing it. My entire body was literally shivering with excitement when I said, "If you want to drive a woman wild, lick her right here."