Beyond the Forest

I felt hands grasping at me, trying to save me, and as I clutched at them I felt a sleeve and locked my fingers around it. I held on, hoping to stop my fall, but only succeeded in pulling her down alongside me. We tumbled together through the darkness, her black shawl enveloping me as we slid down the steep rock face until we launched off its bottom lip, plummeting to the depths below.

A second later we hit the cave floor with a sickening crunch and I was horrified to realize that it was her body, twisting beneath me as we fell, that had broken my fall.

"Are you okay?!" I whispered, but she didn't answer me. I put my hand on her breast and leaned close to her mouth to listen; she wasn't breathing.

Panic swept through me. I knew I'd finally found the girl who could lead me to the witch I'd been hunting and somehow, even though it seemed nearly impossible to believe, I'd killed her. Not knowing what else to do, I clenched my fists together like a mallet and raised them above my head, ready to hammer them down on her chest.

And then I panicked again. Was that the right thing to do? I had zero first aid training; everything I knew had been gleaned from reruns of CSI. I ran episodes through my head, trying to figure out how to help her as I pressed my ear against her breast, listening for a heartbeat.

A faint thump echoed through her chest and I sat up, having made the decision that she probably needed mouth to mouth. I couldn't make out her face in the close darkness, so I reached my hand toward the soft skin of her cheek, hoping to guide myself as I leaned close and pressed my lips against hers. But just before I touched her she coughed violently, her back arching as she desperately gasped for air. Sensing the nearness of my hand, she threw her arm up and knocked it away.

"You're okay. You just had a hard fall," I said, and reached my hand back to comfort her.

But she knocked it away again and hissed at me as she pulled her shawl up around her face and scrambled backwards, trying to get away from me.

"Don't look at me!" she cried.

I hadn't been able to see her face at all in the gloom that enveloped us, but as my eyes adjusted to the darkness I could just make out her silvery-gray eyes as they watched me from above her dark shawl.

"Don't look at me!" she cried again, and turned her face to hide it from me.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." I moved toward her on my hands and knees, hoping to calm her. Then we heard voices from outside.

We both looked toward the mouth of the cave far above us, and listened as the poachers who'd been pursuing me passed it. A sense of relief filled me as their voices turned faint and faded into the distance. When they were gone I turned to look back at her, and she pulled her shawl tighter around her face and ducked away again from me.

I could see her more clearly now. She looked to be a girl barely out of her teens, and without her scarf around her head I could see she had thick, dark hair that tumbled down around her shoulders.

"Please...don't look at me," she whispered.

I cast my eyes downward, trying not to alarm her, and said, "You have to help me. I need you to take me to Matusa Ildiko."

She glanced at me, her eyes flashing. And then she turned away again, staring into darkness as she whispered, "I know no one by that name."

"Please, I know that you know her," I said, as I crawled on my hands and knees toward her. "You have to take me to her. I need her help." Seeing her fallen scarf lying to my right, I picked it up and went to hand it to her.

She shrunk back from me, pulling her feet toward her as she pressed herself against the cold cave wall. "There is no Matusa Ildiko. She is only a legend!"

I tossed the scarf toward her feet, held my hands up to show I meant her no harm and, as she'd requested, kept my eyes turned away. "Please, I know that you serve the witch and her magic protects you. There's an old woman in the village who told me so. You saved her life more than seventy years ago, yet you haven't aged a day since."

A silence answered me, and I cautiously lifted my eyes and saw her watching me over her black scarf as she wound it back around her head.

"Even if Matusa Ildiko did exist," she said, "I couldn't take you to her. You've trapped both of us at the bottom of this cave."

I stood up and turned away from her, staring up the steep rock face toward the mouth of the cave far above. "No, I'll get us out of here. Don't be afraid. There has to be a way."

I moved along the wall, searching the smooth stone for handholds. But there were none and, further complicating things, I discovered the cold of the cavern had turned the tiny rivulets of groundwater trickling down the stone face into icy veins.

"You are wasting your time," she said. "We will never be able to get back to the top."

I shook my head. "No, there has to be a way...maybe if you stand on my shoulders." But I knew as soon as I spoke the words that there was no way she'd be able to reach the top of the rock face. And even if she could, there was little chance she'd be able to climb the rest of the way back up the steep slope toward the cave mouth without sliding back down.

I turned and desperately searched around the cave we were trapped in for another way out, but found none. As panic started to creep in, I screamed toward the opening above for help and waited as my words echoed hopelessly off the walls surrounding us.

"You fool!" she hissed. "No one will hear you unless it is the poachers returning. And you know what they will do if they find us."

An image of their dead friend flashed through my mind. "But she was there," I said, "back at the camp. He attacked you and Matusa Ildiko came and saved you."

She laughed. "You do not know what you speak of."

"No! I do know! I saw what happened back there. It was the same thing that happened seventy years ago with the Iron Guard. I know your witch saved you then and she saved you today. So why can't you just summon her to have her save us now?"

She laughed again, this time even more bitterly. "Is that what you really believe? That a witch swooped in and killed those men? And what do you think will happen now, that she will fly down here on her broom and rescue both of us?"

I blinked in confusion, unsure how to reply. Finally, I said, "Yes, I do believe that...well, part of it at least. And I believe that she can save my wife too."

"Your wife? What does your wife have to do with this?"

"That's why I'm here. That's why I came to Transylvania...to Magura...to find your mistress. My wife is dying, but a gypsy told me that Matusa Ildiko could save her."

A silence filled the cold cavern as the girl watched me, her eyes unreadable. When she broke it, she said, "You are right, the witch you seek does exist. But the gypsy was wrong; Matusa Ildiko cannot save anyone. The only thing she ever brings is death, not life."

I refused to believe her; everything else the gypsy had told me had been true. I fell on my knees in front of the girl, my teeth starting to chatter from the cold of the cave as I pleaded with her. "Please, I need to talk to her. She knows I'm looking for her. She's even visited me in my dreams."

She scoffed. "You have not dreamt of Matusa Ildiko. Only those who desire her dream of the witch."

"No, it's true. She came to me in my dreams twice!"

"Then tell me, what did she look like?"

I went to answer, but then I remembered. "No...wait, it was you. You were the one who visited me in my dreams."

Her eyes went wide with surprise, and she whispered, "How could you dream of me when you have never even seen me before today?"

"I have seen you, in and old black and white photo."

"Any photograph with me in it is a dangerous thing. You must promise me if you ever see it again that you will destroy it!"

As I nodded my agreement, she said, "You are fortunate to have woken from that dream. Tell me, did you see my face?"

"Yes...I mean, no...I saw my wife's face. When you removed your scarf I saw my wife's face."

She turned away from me, staring into the darkness. "There are few men who have ever seen anything other than their own death when that scarf was removed. Your wife's love for you must be very strong if it is her face that you saw."

"It is, and so is my love for her. That's why I need to find Matusa Ildiko -- to save her."

She eyed me thoughtfully as I kneeled before her, shivering in the icy darkness of that hidden cavern. "How can I save her," she said, "when I can't even save you?"

It took me a moment to register what she was telling me, and when I did it took me even longer to believe it. I'd expected the witch I was seeking to be some powerful, ancient crone, not an innocent young girl with haunting eyes. "You mean...you're Matusa Ildiko?"

She bowed her head and hid her face. "Do not call me by that name, it haunts me. I am simply Ildiko."

"But if you're really her...I mean, really a witch...isn't there some kind of spell you can cast to get us out of here?"

"I am the woman you've been seeking, but I am no witch. And there is no magic I can do to save either you or your wife from your fates."

"But there has to be!" I said, refusing to accept what she was saying. I grabbed her wrist, determined to make her listen to me, and gasped as a searing sensation fired through my veins like an electric jolt while her eyes flared with an ominous green glow.

"Do not touch me!" she cried, with a hiss in her voice like a cauldron boiling over onto hot coals as she tore her wrist free and scrambled away.

The bone-numbing cold that had taken hold of me in that dark cavern seemed to melt away, consumed by the heat firing through me. All I could think of was that soft shawl and how it seemed to hug her body, her lithe, warm body. And a sudden urge to tear it away, to have her naked and pinned against the cold stone floor as I fucked her hard nearly overcame me.

I shook my head, forcing the disturbing vision from my mind. And I thought of my wife, knowing I couldn't risk losing the only chance I had to be with her again. I turned toward the girl, whose eyes were once again silvery-gray as they watched me fearfully from above her shawl, like she'd read my mind and knew the dark thoughts that lurked there.

"That you can resist the touch of my skin for even a moment proves how strong your love for your wife truly is," she said, with awe in her voice.

"It is. That's why I need your help. The gypsy who sent me here told me that, if I found you, my wife and I would finally be together again."

She sadly shook her head. "I would help you if I could, but I can't. It is true what I told you before, I am not a witch. I have no magic."

"But just now...when I touched your skin..."

"That is not magic," she spat, "that is the curse."

"I -- I don't understand."

"Long ago a powerful witch put a curse on me to make all men desire me, but any man who acts on that desire will be destroyed."

"You mean like back at the clearing...is that what happened?"

She nodded slowly, as if the memory of it still weighed on her.

"Then maybe this other witch...maybe she's the one the gypsy meant. Maybe you're supposed to take me to her?"

Matusa Ildiko looked at me sadly. "The witch who cursed me is thankfully long gone from this world, but even if she wasn't we still wouldn't be able to get to her. You don't seem to understand that we are trapped in this cave. And I fear what will become of you when the cold of the night comes."

I was starting to understand what she meant. The eerie warmth from touching her skin had faded and a bone-numbing cold had returned to take its place. I squatted in the center of the cave, hunching myself into a ball as I slipped my arms inside my shirt, hugging myself to keep warm while my teeth chattered uncontrollably. A weak sunlight penetrated the cave, partially dispelling the gloom, but none of its heat reached us.

"I am sorry I cannot help you," Matusa Ildiko whispered.

Shivering, I said, "Maybe we should huddle together, to keep each other warm."

She quickly shook her head. "You must not come near me. You were lucky to resist the witch's curse the first time. You won't be able to resist it a second time."

I understood, but my body ached at the memory of her warmth, and yearned to feel it again. Trying to shake the desire from my mind, I closed my eyes and thought of my wife. I tried to picture her beneath the blankets with me, keeping me warm. But the only image that came to my mind was one of her lying cold and lifeless in a hospital bed.

I opened my eyes and knew I had to do something, anything, to stop that from becoming a reality. I stood and stomped my feet, trying to keep warm. And as I did I tried to remember everything the gypsy had said, worried that I'd somehow left something out.

I said, "The gypsy told me there's a dark man near my wife, watching her, waiting for her."

I couldn't see her mouth, but I could tell by her eyes that Matusa Ildiko smiled. "I know that dark man well. I cannot tell you how many nights I have longed for him to come for me. Unfortunately, he is the one man who is immune to the witch's curse and its siren call. Do not be afraid for your wife, when he takes her he will be gentle."

I shook my head as tears welled in my eyes. I was afraid. Afraid of never hearing my wife whisper her love in my ear again, afraid of not feeling the touch of her lips one more time. In that lonely cavern, the pain of her absence felt a thousand times worse than the cold.

Sensing my sorrow, she whispered, "I wish there was a way I could bring the two of you together again like the gypsy said. Many of her folk have the gift of sight, but I am afraid she was mistaken when she told you it was within my power."

She sat up, took off her shawl, and threw it toward me. "Wear this. It is not much, but it may help to fight off the cold."

"But you need to keep warm too," I said, shivering as I bent to pick it up.

She shook her head as she leaned back against the walls, her pale arms bare in her short-sleeved black dress. "The cold of this cave is nothing to one such as I. Put the shawl on."

As I wrapped it around my shoulders I couldn't help wondering at the girl in front of me. She seemed so young, but her voice carried the weight of untold years.

"How old are you?" I asked.

She arched an eyebrow. "How old do you think I am?"

I remembered the book Adriana had told me of, stories more than a century old. "I don't know...one hundred...maybe two hundred?"

"A good guess, but my age is measured in centuries, not years. Do you wish to hear my story?"

I nodded, anxious for anything that could distract me from the cold.

She looked up toward the shadows at the mouth of the cave, like she was looking back through the shadows of time, and began.

"I was born when the Roman Empire still ruled, even though it had already started its slow decline. This land was known as Dacia back then and, even though there were still Roman outposts, most of their legions had already retreated to the crumbling ruins of their empire.

"My father was a powerful lord and history called our people the Ostrogoths. A Roman soldier came one day to visit my family, so long ago that I can no longer remember his name. But he captured my heart and secretly made me his lover, promising me he would take me back to Rome with him.

"But I did not know he already had another lover. A mysterious woman he'd met while stationed on the Dacian frontier, one that was in truth a Thracian witch. And she really was a witch, nothing like the kind found in children's storybooks. She was one with an ancient magic that no longer walks this earth, except through the curse she burdened me with.

"She came to me in the night and accused me of stealing her lover away. She called me a temptress and, as punishment, cursed me. She swore that every man who saw my face or touched my skin would desire me, but promised that any man unfortunate enough to act on that desire would soon be dead.

"Fittingly, the first victim of her curse was the lover who had spurned her, my Roman soldier. I pleaded with him not to touch me; I knew it was dangerous. But he couldn't control himself, her spell was too powerful and I watched his life bleed out in front of me as she took her revenge.

"Soon I realized that every man wanted me, even ones who had been friends or family. One sight of my face drove them mad with lust, drove them to their doom. I fled to the north with my clothes torn and my body bruised, away from my home, away from my people, staying to the woods and hiding my face.

"I lived there, far from the hunger that fills the hearts of all men, waiting for old age to come. But then I realized that the witch's curse wasn't done with me, she wouldn't allow me to simply grow old and die. The women who encountered me in the woods started to notice I'd never aged while they had, and whispered that I was a strigoi."

"A what?" I said.

"The strigoi are ancient creatures from Dacian mythology, evil spirits whose actions made them unworthy of entering the kingdom of Zalmoxis, the god of my people. Immortal creatures that legend eventually transformed into the bloodthirsty creatures you call vampires.

"It didn't help my denials when any man unfortunate enough to cross my path was found dead in a pool of his own blood. I was forced to flee even further north to where I wasn't known, always trying to keep myself hidden.

"But eventually I was discovered. The Romans had left our land by that time but a new master had come to subjugate our people. His soldiers swept me up with a crowd of other young girls and took me to his fortress. They called him Attila."

"Attila the Hun?!" I exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yes, it was a Hun patrol that had captured me. They took me to his wooden palace beyond the Danube to be one of his concubines. Luckily, I'd kept my face covered and they didn't even think to try to remove my veil, their fear of their overlord obviously outweighing their curiosity.

"Unfortunately, the same could not be said for their master. When I was taken to his tent he ordered me to remove my veil, told me I was to be one of his wives. I pleaded with him not to look at me, begged him not to touch me, but he wouldn't listen.

"When they found him the next morning with his life bled out of him I had already fled back to the hills, just a footnote in history.

"I cannot tell you how many winters I lied naked in the snow, praying for the cold to steal my life away. And when the wolves would come and circle me, snarling, I would crawl toward them, offering my flesh to satisfy their hunger. But even they feared the witch's curse, and would eventually howl and slink away.

"I have thrown myself from the highest peaks of the Carpathians, shattering my bones on the rocks below, but even then the dark man turned his back to me and I would awake with my bones knitted together again, my flesh new."

"But why would you want to die?" I said, as an unbidden image of my wife on her deathbed flashed in front of me. "To live forever, isn't that what everybody wants?"

She shook her head sadly. "Think of the pain you feel knowing the one you love will soon die. I have felt that pain a thousand fold. And what did the future hold for me? I couldn't go down amongst the people; the men would have fallen on me like a pack of hounds.

"For more than a millennium I hid in these mountains, watching the world I could never be part of change around me. I saw the Mongols come and then the Turks, and felt the pain they caused my people while I hid in the hills, wishing I could help.

"So I took my knowledge of herbs, some of it ancient and some of it learned, and tried to share it. The women of the villages came to respect me as a great healer and would come to me when they needed help. During the plague, the knowledge I shared saved many. But when the plague was over the men needed someone to blame, so they blamed the witches. And of course, I had to be a witch. What other explanation could there be?