All my life or at least as far back as I can remember I thought I was strange. I thought only I had ideas, desires and inclinations like these. I suffered for it. They started when I was twelve and continued unabated until as a forty three year old woman, I've had my first taste of relief. I'm still amazed that the one who has brought me some peace is my son.
The trigger or trauma or blessing that opened my sexual life was the last spanking my father ever gave me. I can hear what he said before taking me over his knees, "Rosemarie... Rosemarie, there are consequences." I cried and I came. I couldn't catch my breath and I didn't know what happened. What I felt between my legs and throughout my body frightened and thrilled me. I'm not sure if he stopped after that because he felt I was too old or he recognized that something was different. That night I masturbated for the first, second and third time in my life. I don't remember what I thought about but I do remember how much I wanted to come.
I loved coming, I wanted to come all the time and the things that set me off seemed not 'normal'. As I grew older I liked kissing and touching with boys well enough but they weren't the things that fired my imagination. When I was finally in bed with my fantasies I thought about being a pony and my master brushing me and bridling me and riding me. And I would come. I thought about snakes... invading and wriggling in my slippery place. And I would come. I thought about things in my behind - which is the only thing I ever actually did. I must have had almost everything under the sun that would fit in there as I masturbated time after time.
I had enough dates and I went to bed with two boys in high school, more because all my friends did than because it meant anything to me. It seemed like a lot of 'come and go' about nothing. When I was in college I met Stewart who was a nice boy. Marrying him because he was a nice boy was not a nice thing to do to him or me but I did it.
I woke up at twenty-three with a baby an empty job and an empty house after the divorce. What I was full of was determination to fulfill myself. I went back to school. With help from my mom, who was now my only blood relative besides my son Danny, I became a legal secretary. My life in general was better because I could provide for the son I loved more I could have believed, but my sex life was worse. I'd just about given up on men, more from my own reticence than from their shortcomings. I was too shy to tell and too afraid to do. On the few occasions I hinted, I heard things like "That's sick" or "You're kidding, right?" Right.
By the time Danny was seventeen, I felt like a frustrated old maid but I went on for him. I worked out religiously and most people at the spa and yoga class couldn't believe I was forty.
I thought it was the final straw as far as my head was concerned when I started taking notice of my own son. I had taught him some Hatha Yoga and he would stretch and take a few positions with me when I worked out at home. I loved his lithe body and I knew better than to tell myself that he didn't turn me on. In some way I saw it as an improvement because most of my childhood desires were in the background. Now all I ever fantasized about was Danny: Danny in my mouth, Danny in pussy, Danny in my ass.
I masturbated every night for a year with my son behind my eyes. I hoped he didn't hear me through our bedroom's adjoining wall because I'm loud if have a particularly powerful orgasm.
Thanksgiving changed our lives. I was behind in some work and had to have it in by Wednesday. Tuesday evening Danny had gone out and I used his computer for the first time. I clicked on a folder named Dictionary and it opened about a hundred JPEG images. After the first I was hooked. It had a logo on the bottom from the site it had been downloaded from, Mother-Son Galleries. Half the pictures were of older women having sex with younger men. The others were either of women in restraints, or pregnant and lactating women.
For a moment I forgot who I was and thought, "Why would my son be interested in pregnant women?" For the same unfathomable reasons my fantasies ran from snakes to my son's young cock. A cock I wished I had in me now as those 'mothers' in the pictures did. I closed my eyes and rubbed myself to orgasm, which didn't take very long.
I worked late into the night and was totally exhausted by the time I was finished. The next thing I remember was a tingling in my left nipple and as I came out of sleep Danny was saying "Mom get up and go to bed."
Still groggy I whispered "Hi sweetie".
Danny caressed my hair and smiled. My head leaned and rested on his thigh. Almost in trance I turned my face and kissed his cock over his jeans. He was hard. He had to be hard before I kissed him. I looked up for his reaction and he leaned down and gave me the first kiss I'd had as a woman in ten years. "Danny... Danny..." I repeated as I hurriedly unbuckled his pants. His long and wide up-turned cock sprang as I reached for it with my mouth. It was hot and sweet to taste.
"OH mother, suck my cock... yes... I wanted you to do this... I wanted to fuck you for so long..." My son was breathing hard and started to fuck my mouth. He became mindless and I felt him reaching for the back of my throat with his cock. I tried to extend his pleasure by pulling back and gently sucking on the engorged head but he couldn't wait. He called me as he came..."Mother... MOTHER... MO... THER..." His hard quick spurts of cum surprised me and the amount surprised me even more. My mouth was filled and I'd never swallowed cum before but I didn't want him to stop so I let the thick jelly slide down my throat and continued coaxing and squeezing more out of his jerking rod.
"Oh mom, thank you... thank you... "
I stood and held him and kissed him. "No, no darling it gave me so much pleasure. I loved doing that. I thought it was only going to happen in my imagination... oh love..."
"Mom let me make you feel good."
"Yes baby, we have lots of time to make lots of love tonight."
I laughed, "No love; not only tonight, any night, every night. Come to mother's bed; I have so much to say to you and do to you."
I began undressing as soon as we got to the bedroom and when I was down to my bra and panties, Danny said, Mother can I take your bra off, I've always wanted to do that?"
"Of course darling there's nothing you can't ask me."
He pressed my breasts over the satiny bra before removing it. My nipples are rather large and dark and they showed through. I gave him a playful look and said, "That's not the first time you felt your mother's tit tonight, is it?"
He looked a bit perplexed and said, "How did you... ?"
"Lets just say I 'felt' it."
As he fondled me, I started to gently massage his stirring cock. I said, "Honey, tell me about the pictures in your computer."
"Mom, did you... ?"
"Listen baby, it's ok. I don't think there's anything wrong with them; I just want to know what you need. When I was a girl, I wish I had someone I could talk about all the things I felt... just tell me baby... I promise I'll understand."
"All right mom... I hope you won't think I'm terrible... sometimes I think I'm terrible... they're all about you. I've wanted to..."
"Honey, tell me all of it. Did you want to fuck your momma? Did you masturbate thinking about me?"
"All the time mom... I stroked my cock and wished it were you doing it... I thought of you coming into my room every night when you thought I was asleep... you would suck me off into your mouth and leave... I fantasized about forcing you to fuck me, prying your legs open and then fucking you in more ways than you could imagine. Oh mom, I wanted to fuck you all the time... but there's more... when I looked at the pictures I wanted to get you pregnant. I wanted you to have my baby... I wanted to see your tits full of milk for our baby... just like you were my wife and my mother... that's the terrible part."
"Oh sweetheart I don't think you're terrible; I think you're beautiful and I think that's a beautiful thing to want. I would be so happy to give you what you want and what you need."
I led my son to the bed and told him, "Come make love to me, come put your cum in me, I want whatever you want."
After a few months of learning how to love each other, I became more open with Danny and let him see more of who I am. He knows how to treat me when he comes home and I'm wearing my collar and nylons. He's my master then and I obey his every whim or suffer the consequences. He gives me a good beating; he gives me the best beating.
Just finding out what each other's inclinations were made it all so much better. He told me how he fantasized about licking my smooth pussy so I shaved it for him. I told him how it excited me when he said my name as he made love to me; so between each lick of my pussy he would say "Rosemarie... my Rosemarie."
He's a quick study and last night was a good example. I told him, "Danny, I was bad today", he's learned what I need and said, "I'm going to have to punish you; young lady." He punished my ass with a hairbrush and only stopped after I whimpered and promised to be good. He then told me because I told the truth he would make 'daddy's little girl' feel better. He soothed my ass with aloe gel and worked his fingers into the small hole I love him to play with. He kissed me there and licked the gel into my ass.
When we were both ready he put me on my back and said, "Open as wide as you can for daddy." He knows how wide I can open because he's seen me, and it excites him. I'm limber enough from years of yoga to put my ankles behind my head. My pussy and my ass are totally accessible to him and last night he took my ass. He knows how I like it and he knows I can take it. My son has a nice thick cock but maybe from years of pleasuring it myself, it doesn't hurt when he fucks me there. I like it as well as having him in my pussy. It felt good having him put the cool gel and then his hot cum into me.
Last week he called me from work and said "I won't be home tonight but make sure you lock the door because I heard there was a burglar in the area that molests the women he robs."
Later, when I heard the door opening I got wet. He came in hooded and grabbed me at knifepoint. He blindfolded me and tied me and made me do horrible, wonderful things to him with my mouth. I thought he would choke me with his big cock. I'd never it seen it so fiery red and jumping. He wasn't satisfied no matter how many times I sucked him. He tortured my nipples, and chewed my clit, and made me come, and made me come, and made me come.
Danny's been my lover and master and husband for almost a year. I haven't gotten pregnant yet but for now we're just letting that care of itself and I'm taking care of him. And every night, he's taking care of his mother.
Danny asked me what other people would think if they knew how we lived. I told him that there would always be those who can't understand and I would tell them what "fuck you" really means: "I wish you sex like I have: sex that fulfills you, sex with someone who understands you, sex with someone who loves you."
(This one's for you, Ro)