Brad's Chance

I grinned, looking around but not seeing him.

"Yea, just this guy I know. No big. You can take his place if you want."

I knew how to play along, I thought it was sexy that he was this laid back and relaxed. I liked guys that could joke around.

"Well your butt is lookin good in those Levis, and the tousled hair? Lovin it."

I really wanted to find him now, my eyes scanning every face in front of the theater. Then it clicked what he said and I turned around, smiling when I saw him coming towards me, his little blue jeep parked a few spots behind him. Closing his phone once he knew I saw him, he walked up with a smile on his face. He was looking very good tonight. Tight black jeans cupped his body, making it look like they were poured on and making me imagine peeling them off.

He had on a green shirt, the kind that has built in sleeves underneath, which were a darker shade of green then the shirt. His brown hair was messy as always, getting into his eyes, which seemed to be even brighter than normal in contrast to his shirt. He was like sex on a stick to me. I had to get my hormones under control; I guess it had been to long since I had gotten laid. We held hands through the movie, once again acting like high schoolers.

We didn't talk, though I always talked in movies, and we didn't kiss, well not until the end anyway. I was bored with the movie and I could tell he was too. Looking over I saw his eyes drop to my lips, which curved in a smile automatically. Leaning forward I pressed my lips to his, biting the bottom one softly to make his mouth open. He let out a small whimper which I eagerly took as I swept my tongue in his mouth.

He moaned, pushing his tongue against mine and we dueled, me trying to stay in his mouth and him trying to get in mine. Eventually I pulled away and we both laughed, which got us a few dirty looks from the people actually watching the movie. I ran my hand through his hair, finally doing what I wanted and moving a few strands from his eyes.

He smiled a beautiful smile and nuzzled into my hand. It was a fantastic night. Kyle and I dated for a good two weeks, and I tried my hardest not to push him because I could tell he had never done anything with a guy before. His innocence was killing me though. He always touched me in sexual ways but never seemed to realize he was doing it. I would hiss or moan and he would pull back instantly, afraid he had hurt me.

I never asked for sex and I never did anything he didn't want to. At two weeks I was achy and hard all the damn time and it was getting painful. We were sitting in my dorm room one Monday night and he suddenly stood up, looking down at me on my bed. I raised an eyebrow, closing the Psych book we were studying out of and looking at him. Michael was out as usual so we both knew we were alone for a while.

I wasn't sure what I thought he was doing, but when he gracefully dropped to his knees I was beyond shocked. He slowly unzipped my pants and I lifted my butt up automatically to help him get them off. I just looked at him, waiting to see what he was doing. My little kitten was getting explorative. I liked it.

I didn't normally wear underwear and today was no different, so when he pulled the pants off my cock sprang up close to his face, already semi hard.

Kyle bit his lip, drawing it inside his mouth a little and letting it go. I watched it spring back, licking my own lips in anticipation. I held perfectly still, not wanting to scare him or freak him out. After an excruciating minute he leaned forward, licking the head of my cock that was already leaking a little. His eyes darted up to mine instantly.

"It tastes good." He sounded surprised.

I laughed, I couldn't help it.

"What did you expect babe?"

He blushed, something I still found adorable to this day and ducked his head a little, looking for all the world like he was trying to hide behind my cock. I wasn't THAT big.

"I don't know. I like it though."

I smiled at him, running cool fingers through his hair. His eyes went back to my cock and he looked like he was trying to memorize every vein and ridge. Then he opened his lips and took me deep into his mouth. I was so caught off guard I jumped but he didn't stop, he must have realized now it was probably a good reaction.

He sucked me deep into his throat, and my cock wasn't huge but it was a good 8", but he didn't gag. If I hadn't known for sure he had never done anything I would have guessed he had had a lot of experience. He had almost no gag reflex I swear, and when he trailed his hand down innocently to cup my balls I think I might have screamed.

"Oh God Kyle that's nice. Damn baby you're so good at this."

His face turned deep red and I smiled to myself. His eyes were intent on my cock as he sucked it with a innocence that drove me wild.

"Baby, I'm getting close."

He stopped then and I groaned in disappointment, looking at him in confusion. I opened my mouth to tell him he didn't have to swallow it or anything, that I would cum on a towel if he wanted but he learned up and kissed me, trailing kisses across my jaw until he got to my ear.

"I want you to come inside me."

Remember that cartoon where the hot girl walks in and the wolf's jaw drops, his tongue rolling out to the floor? I'm pretty sure I resembled that.

Kyle laughed, closing my gaping mouth with a gentle finger and standing up. He slowly started stripping his clothes off and I bit my lip in anticipation. Every bit of skin that was revealed made me want more. He knew what he was doing, slowly, so slowly, revealing his scrumptious skin.

He was like walking silk, he hardly had any hair on him, and his skin looked satin smooth in the moonlight streaming in my window. When he was fully naked and all I could do was stare he came over to me, and sat down on my naked lap, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"You don't mind if I'm in control of this part right?"

I just shook my head, my tongue heavy in my mouth. Kyle smiled, grinding his ass against me and I shook my head, coming to my senses. He was a virgin, and this was going to hurt; I needed to help get him ready because I wanted this to be amazing.

Reaching over I opened the top drawer to my desk, pulling out a condom, and a big bottle of lube. I always bought the big bottles, call me an optimist.

Kyle's eyes widened a little and I put the stuff beside me on the bed, cupping his face in my hands.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

He bit his lip again, something I was finding to be increasingly Irresistible, and looked in my eyes, smiling a shy smile.

"Yes. I've wanted to do this since that night when you wore your infamously spiked hair tousled for me."

I smiled; I hadn't know it had meant that much to him, but it was true, I never changed my hair, ever, and I never let people touch it. It was the only thing I was a perfectionist about. I lifted him up, rolling him so he was under me on the bed. He frowned, opening his mouth to protest and I shushed him with a kiss.

"Just to get you ready babe."

Understanding dawned then and I noticed his dick waned a little. Reaching down I grasped his cock in my hand, squeezing until he groaned and his eyes fluttered shut. He had to relax if this was going to be anything close to pleasurable. I leaned down and slowly took his cock in my mouth, running my tongue around the head, licking up the little drop of precum that had gathered at the tip.

Kyle groaned my name, hands trailing through my hair, which was smooth and clean since I had taken a shower about an hour before. He loved it when I didn't have gel in my hair. I sucked him deep for a good three minutes, until his hands were gripping my hair tight and his hips were moving of their own accord.

I opened the bottle, smiling when he didn't even acknowledge the sound, and put a good amount on my fingers. While I slowed down so he didn't lose it, I massaged his balls with my other hand, keeping him distracted. He gave a frantic moan, his body undulating against mine and I took the moment to smoothly glide a finger into his body. Kyle's eyes flared wide and I paused for a minute, hoping I didn't hurt him. He didn't stay still for long though, and soon he was pressing back against my finger, silently begging for more.

I took his cock deep in my mouth, until it hit the back of my throat, simultaneously sliding another finger in. Kyle moaned loudly this time, and I was happy to see that my fingers moved smoothly inside him, he was so relaxed. Once I had another finger in easily I figured he was ready and slowly pulled back. He looked disappointed for a minute before he saw me tear open the little silver packet and roll the condom over myself. He was way beyond his shy stage now, and watched me with open lust on his face. I reached for the bottle of lube but he grabbed it first.

With a devious smile he poured some on his hands, and spread it on my cock, moving them up and down fast enough to make me moan. He climbed on top of me, and I spread his cheeks, concentrating hard in order to not just push deep into his ass. Kyle looked in my eyes as he slowly slid his body down, wincing a little when the tip of my cock popped past his sphincter. I held perfectly still, raising a brow, impressed when he kept pushing, until finally he sat on my lap, my cock all the way inside him. He kissed me, and it was the most tender thing I have ever felt. The wall around my heart creaked a little, and I frowned.

Kyle kissed my brow, and blocked all thoughts when he started moving, rising up and lowering himself back down fast, making me gasp. I started grinding into him, smiling when I hit his sweet spot and his eyes rolled back.

"Oh God yea Brad, yes fuck me, that feels so damn good."

I smiled at his words and started pushing faster, gripping his hips tightly and lowering him up and down to meet my thrusts. Soon his hands found my shoulders, nails digging in as he held on for the ride. This was amazing, better than anything I had ever felt. Kyle's little ass was like a vice on dick, so tight, and so hot, I had to slow us down quite a few times so I didn't come before he did.

Kyle's hand wrapped around his cock, stroking it like a mad man as his eyes stayed closed, head rolled back in bliss. Soon he spurted all over my chest, his ass tightening to an almost painful degree as he literally screamed my name. I couldn't take it anymore, not with his ass so tight and hot around my sock and I thrust as deep into him as I could and held him tight to my chest, breathing his name as I came, filling the condom with cum until it leaked between our bodies.

Kyle's head dropped to my shoulder in exhaustion and I smiled, kissing his neck lightly. I pulled out of him, grabbing a nearby towel and cleaning us up. He hadn't stayed the night before, but I could tell tonight he wasn't planning on leaving. I wasn't really sure how I felt about that, but when he snuggled up to my chest, sated with pleasure I gave him, all I could was smile. That was up until he said those three little words that ruined everything.

"I love you Brad."

He was asleep before I could respond but I felt my body run cold. The wall around my heart was stronger than ever and I panicked. Looking back I regret it, but at the time I was scared shitless. I didn't want a serious relationship, did I? Was I ready to love someone? To be a part of someone's life every day all the time.

What if in being a couple I lost my independence, was I ready for that? Did I want to be that guy that couldn't do out because I had to get back to the boyfriend.

I couldn't answer any of these questions, my mind was blanking, and all I could do was block it out. I climbed out of bed, and Kyle stirred, looking up at me with a question. I saw it dawn on his face when he remembered what he said.

"Brad...I didn't mean--"

I cut him off, making sure my eyes and face were neutral, not mad, or scared, or worse love filled.

"That was really fun Kyle, thanks. I'm gonna go out for a bit, maybe go to a party at Adam's. I'll see you around though ok?"

His face was so hurt I almost couldn't stand it. I wanted to comfort him but something kept me from doing it. Mind numbing fear of commitment I think would be the correct term. He stood, tears forming behind his eyes but refusing to fall.

"You really are heartless aren't you?"

It hurt, it really hurt, but I kept my face blank.

"Don't make this hard on yourself Kyle. Really. It's not that big of a deal."

He gasped like I had slapped him, pulling his pants on quickly and walking up to me. He slapped me hard enough I tasted blood.

"I hope when you finally let a guy inside your heart, that he rips it out."

I stood there, naked, my face stinging, my cheeks red with shame, as Kyle walked out of my dorm room. Out of my life. I sat heavily on my bed, a feeling I've never had aching deep in my heart. Closing my eyes I tried to sleep, tried to do homework, anything to get my mind off of Kyle. It didn't work, and by class time the next day I felt and looked like run over shit. I walked into class, ten minutes late and noticed Kyle wasn't there.

Alex was though, and so was his big ass boyfriend. Alex grabbed me as soon as I walked through the door and I was so out of it that it didn't occur to me I outweighed the guy by about a hundred pounds as I let him slam me into the wall outside the classroom. Mike Donovan followed, arms crossed, watching but not interfering.

"Are you out of your fucking mind!" Alex screamed at me.

Something inside me snapped then, and I woke out my haze, shoving him away from me. Alex stumbled, waving his boyfriend back as the big man moved forward, anger apparent on his face.

"No, let him push me. Take your anger out on me Brad. Come on. I know how upset you were when I went with Mike. I know how you've been moping around here like a heartbroken loser. Come on, get angry with me, hit me."

I just stared at him, shocked. He got in my face, pushing his chest hard against mine, sending me into the wall again.

"It's me your angry at Brad. Hit me. Hit Me. HIT ME!"

I snapped, hauling off and punching him in the jaw harder than I have ever hit anyone. Alex's body flew backwards, and Mike caught him easily, holding him until he was able to steady himself. The man looked like he wanted to kill me, and looking into his eyes I saw how easy it would be for him. Alex came at me again, a bruise blossoming on his jaw already. He got in my face again.

"Ok, you over it now? You done being a prick?"

I stared into his eyes for a minute, waiting for the pain I had been feeling over him to come back, slightly surprised when I felt nothing for him.

I nodded slowly and he stepped back.

"Good. Kyle dropped out today."

My eyes widened, "WHAT! When, Why?"

Alex gave me a look that would chill ice cubes.

"You know why Brad. Everyone in your dorm knows why. The sounds you guys were making, followed by his sobs as he ran down the hallway? It's pretty damn obvious why."

I felt like a piece of shit. I'm sure everyone in my dorm agreed. Then something dawned on me.

"You're not in my dorm."

His eyes lowered for a second, "No, but Jessica is."

I must have looked as confused as I felt.

"After what happened with us, I checked up on you. I didn't want to try talking to you because I thought that might make things worse. When I saw you weren't...getting over what happened, I kept up with Jessica, telling her about parties, and single guys I thought you'd like. She told me about what happened, and I saw Kyle going into the administration office earlier."

I was amazed, I think my mind was tired of having so many shocks to my system in a two day period. Alex had kept tabs on me, he hadn't just forgotten me when he fell into Mike Donovan's arms. My whole world was rocking.

"Why did you do that to Kyle, Brad?"

The question caught me off guard and I answered truthfully.

"I don't know if I'm ready for a real relationship. If I'm ready to lose my independence and really commit to someone. What if I lose who I am? Or turn into one of those guys I myself hate, pussy whipped? I'm so independent and I don't know how to be anything else."

Alex's face changed, from anger and confusion to pity and understanding. I didn't like the pity but I sure as hell appreciated that someone understood.

"Brad I am dating one of the most powerful guys in this damn city. Do you know how hard it was for us to establish a routine where Mike didn't dictate my life? He's so used to being in control of everything and I'm like you, stubbornly independent. It takes time, and compromise, and fights and making up. It's not supposed to be easy Brad, love never is."

I glanced behind him at Mike and he gave me a small smile.

"He's tough as nails I swear, but every fight has been worth it Brad. It really has."

Mike stepped up to wrap his arms around Alex, and Alex leaned back, his head on the big man's shoulder. They hugged for a minute before Alex stepped up to me again.

"You need to fix this Brad, or you know you're going to regret it. I know you don't want to think about years and years from now and I'm not asking you to. But doesn't the thought of Kyle not being in your arms tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day tear you up inside? Do you really want to go back to your dorm room tonight without him?"

I stared into his warm eyes for a long time, my mind whirling. Finally I blinked and stood up. No...I tried and I couldn't even think of my life without Kyle in it, even if he hated me, I just wanted him around.

"He already dropped out. What do you expect me to do?"

Mike stepped up then, "I can pull a few strings, I got friends in high places. I can get him back in, but it's up to you to get him to stay."

I nodded, reaching out to shake his hand, "Thank you."

The big man stared at me for a second before taking my hand and pulling me into a tight hug. My whole body stiffened in surprise but I patted him on the back awkwardly.

"He should be still packing, he wasn't at the administration office not an hour ago."

Alex smiled at me, patting me on the shoulder,

"Go man. Now."

I felt like I was in a movie when I turned and ran down the hallway. I ran all the way to Kyle's dorm, stopping in my tracks to see his jeep already almost full of his stuff. He was bringing down another load, a huge box blocking his face. I walked up to him and carefully took the box out of his hands so I could see his face.

"Here let me help you."

Kyle's beautiful eyes met mine, and I flinched at the utter coldness I saw. Stepping around me he put the other box he held in his jeep, reaching back to take the one I had.

"I don't need your help. I don't need anything from you."

He turned to walk back up to his dorm, dismissing me, and I reached out instinctively, grabbing his arm and pulling him in close to me. I kissed his frowning mouth, shocked when his hand met my face with a resounding smack. Damn that cheek was getting abused. I pulled back, rubbing my face.

"Are you insane? What the hell is the matter with you? You do not break a man's heart, and then kiss him Brad, this isn't like TV, all the problems don't melt away with an earth shattering kiss."

Again with the movie life reference, maybe I was acting like I was in a movie. I lived my whole life doing what I knew was expected of me to do. I guess some days I did feel like my life was a sitcom.

"I know. I'm sorry, if we could just talk, I really can explain myself."

Kyle just stared at me, "I don't want to talk to you."

He walked away and my shoulders slumped. He hated me, he really did. I looked around, noting the people watching me. Jessica stood in the crowd, hands on her hips. When I met her eyes she raised an eyebrow, tilting her head towards the building.