Broken

"Of course I enjoyed myself, even though I shouldn't have had any wine. But forget about that, what's your news?" She had my full attention now.

"Well, Paul and I have a thing. I don't know what you would call it, but I think he really likes me." She was oozing excitement.

I was taken aback. "What are you talking about Martha?"

"Sweetie, I didn't want to tell you before because I wasn't sure if you would be okay with it. I know how you don't like complications. Besides, it's not like we planned this or anything. It's just that, well, he is so hot and such a great guy and we have this unbelievable attraction between us ..."

A flash ran through my body. Jealousy. "That's really inappropriate, Martha. What are we talking about here? Are you sleeping with him?" I was seething.

"You know, that's none of your business. Anyway, I thought you'd be happy for me." She paused a minute. "You are so used to being the center of attention Lila. We all have needs and lives that don't revolve around you."

"Martha, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later." I disconnected and replaced the handset in its charger. Three words trailed through my mind. "What the fuck?"

I sat there in silence and disbelief, my arms folded in resistance to what she had told me. Truth was I had no reason to be upset. After all, Paul and I had no real ties. I kissed him last night in a drunken stupor, or at least I think I did. And It was definitely it was definitely possible that I had imagined the sexual energy between us. I probably conjured it, like my X-rated dreams about him, to make me feel better. He was really just my caregiver, nursing back to health a battered and bruised shell of the women I used to be. Martha deserved some happiness, didn't she? As my dearest friend and most loyal supporter, how could I deny her that? But I wanted him for myself anyway. When the knock came on my door I was burning with rage. Paul opened it, breakfast tray in hand.

"Good morning. I let you sleep, because you had such a rough night. Feeling better?" His smile was warm and sincere.

"Yeah, but I'm not hungry," I said defiantly. I hated how childish I sounded.

"Alright. Let me know when you feel like eating." He began to turn around and leave me to my sour mood.

"Paul, wait." I cleared my throat. "I know about you and Martha." I had to put it out there on the table; in the open.

Paul placed the tray on my dresser. "Lila, I don't know what to say ... she threw herself at me ... I ..." He was uncomfortable to say the least.

"Paul, you don't have to explain. It's none of my business what you do in your personal life." I was curt, my voice plucking at the words. "As long as it doesn't interfere with your duties, what matter is it to me?"

"My duties? Lila, I thought over these past months that I had become more than just your nurse."

A look of hurt crossed his face and stabbed me in the heart. Still, I couldn't stop my next remarks from springing off my tongue. "I don't know what gave you that impression. Last night I was drunk, so please don't get confused by what may or may not have happened," I said, referring to the sweet kiss I hoped had been real and not imagined. "I am not the least bit concerned about your new thing with Martha. In fact I think it's great. I hope the two of you have a great time." I bit my lip to stop the tear forming in the corner of my eye.

"Lila --" He pressed to say more.

"Really Paul, I'm not hungry so please take that away and I'll call you when I'm ready to get up." I reached for the remote control and dismissed him with the flick of my hand. I couldn't look at him any longer. Finally he left me and a few tears escaped my eyes. They were angry tears filled with the loss of an idea that I'd been toying with. I adored having Paul all to myself for the past two months. Now, how could I keep holding onto the fantasy knowing that he was with Martha? And Martha, I had to call her and apologize. She deserved my blessing.

"You know what?" she said when I called her back. "We should all go out for lunch." Martha had already accepted my apology when she made the suggestion.

"You two go without me. I'll be okay here for an hour or so." The lunch idea wasn't exactly winning me over.

"Lila, you haven't been out of that house except to see the doctor in months. It's time to rejoin the world. Your party last night was a good first step, but you need to keep at it. It's for your own good."

Martha wasn't going to let it go and as usual she convinced me to do what she thought was best. "Oh geez Martha, you win. Come over in about an hour and we'll go. But I get to pick the restaurant."

"Whatever you want sweetie," she agreed and we hung up.

I took a deep breath; really it was more of a sigh. Then, I called for Paul to help me get ready.

"Martha wants us to go out to lunch with her this afternoon. Can you get my purple knit jersey dress down from the closet?"

"Sure. Are you ready to get cleaned up?" he said, walking into my closet.

"Yes, but really Paul, I can do it. Just please help me into the bathroom."

He returned from my closet, dress in hand and a troubled look on his face. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure." Regretfully, I knew that I could no longer enjoy his hands on my body during my daily sponge bath.

He grumbled something and then methodically went about the necessary tasks. By the time Martha arrived I was ready and waiting for her in my living room. I watched as Paul answered the door and she planted kiss on his mouth. A pang darted through my stomach and I knew it would be the first of many that afternoon.

Paul placed me in the back seat of Martha's SUV and stowed my wheel chair. At my request, Martha drove us to a small trattoria on a side street downtown. I was not interested in large gawking crowds, not that anyone would have recognized me in my state. As I had hoped we were only one of two parties there.

"So Paul," Martha began once we were seated. "Tell us, where did you grow up?"

"Not far from here, a few counties north." His head was buried in the menu, though I thought I saw him roll his eyes. "What about yourself?" he asked Martha.

"I'm from Connecticut originally, but I've been a New Yorker since 89...." Martha was talking, but I could tell he wasn't listening. The subtlest of frowns knitted his brow.

"Lila, I have always wanted to know what it was like to grow up the way you did," he said turning to me. "You know, traveling from one junior tournament to the next all over the country. That couldn't have been easy."

"Um, well no I guess not." I glanced at Martha who was fixing her eyes on me. "I never really had any roots, except with my dad."

"So you probably missed lots of things that other teenagers take for granted." He was leaning into me with interest.

"Actually I did miss my senior prom and I really didn't even have my first kiss until freshmen year in college." I flushed a little, embarrassed to admit this.

He smiled as if he thought it was cute. Martha on the other hand, was not amused. "Then the flood gates let loose, right Lila," she said, rather snidely; surely referring to the string of men I was linked to shortly after.

A familiar sensation swept me. It was the burn of competition, such a part of internal makeup that I simply couldn't ignore it. I tossed my head sideways, glancing at Martha before throwing a sassy smirk towards Paul. "Actually, I've never been one to let my talents go to waste."

Paul grinned and our server arrived to take our orders, breaking the brief tension in the air.

"Lila, don't you get your casts off soon?" Martha asked.

Paul answered for me, "Next week."

"I know that you'll be glad to get around and do more for yourself." She looked at Paul. "And we'll be able to spend a little more time getting to know one another."

"After she gets her casts off, she'll still have weeks of intense physical therapy. She'll be needing me as much as ever."

"Yeah, but not at night. It must be a little suffocating for you Lila. I know how independent you are and I'm sure you're looking forward to everything getting back to normal." Martha seemed to be pressing the issue.

The frown returned to Paul's face. "One day at a time," he said simply. I had to agree.

Before the dishes were cleared, Martha got a call and excused herself. "Lila, when we get back I want to talk to you," Paul said inching his hand to my finger tips placed on the table. I didn't yank them away.

"I want to talk to you too."

Apparently Martha was called into the office for a last minute meeting with an athlete she'd been trying to get under contract. She only had time to drop us off before heading downtown. I was only too happy to see her go. Paul made me comfortable on the sofa and sat down next to me. He was grinding his teeth, thinking of how to start.

"Let me go first," I said, sensing his unease. "What I said last night at the party Paul, I really meant it. If it weren't for you I don't know what condition I'd be in now. And, I don't just mean my body. I could have slipped into a major depression, but you wouldn't let me. You saved me, I know this." He nodded, waiting to hear more. "You have cared for me more like a friend and I've come to cherish that. I'm sorry for trying to make you think that I don't value you this morning, because I do." I looked into his eyes to detect a response. "Do you forgive me?"

"Of course."

"And I'm cool about you and Martha, really I am." I was trying to sound sincere. His smile was a bit sly. "I know, Martha told me that it was your idea that we hook up."

"What?" I was surprised, again.

"Last week, she told me that you thought that we'd be good together. She said that you loved playing match maker." His eyebrows were raised, professing ignorance to anything to the contrary.

"I didn't say that." I was getting angry, again.

"You don't think that Martha and I should hook up?"

"No, I mean yes ... I mean I never said that ..." I didn't know what to say.

"Martha told me how you feel about me. I know you think of me like a brother, and you thought it would be nice if I asked her out."

"But I don't!" I was visibly upset. "I don't think of you like a brother Paul." What the fuck was that bitch up to?

"I don't understand," he said, shaking his head, but a smirk played ever so lightly on his lips.

Grimacing, I stared into my lap. How dare she tell such a blatant lie, I thought. She can be controlling, but this was going too far. I was furious, but took a deep breath and spoke slowly to make myself explicitly clear. "I never said those things, Paul. The only reason I can think of as to why Martha would lie to you is because she's too shy to tell you her real feelings."

He leaned forward, penetrating me with his eyes. "Maybe it's you that's too shy."

He was right. "Me?"

"You," he whispered and placed a soft kiss on my mouth. "You," he said again and brushed his lips against my neck.

At last. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him onto me. He didn't hesitate and pressed his lips onto my chest. His hands rushed under my dress where they clasped my panties. With his mouth still on me, he tugged at them. When my casts proved to be an obstacle, he tore the lacey fabric away, and spread my legs. He rubbed two fingers over my clit and experienced how wet I was already. Looking at me he grinned and slid those fingers inside. Months of celibacy had me tight, almost virginal. Upon their entry, I let out a gasp. But Paul was gentle, as he smoothly rocked them in and out, slowly opening my door. All the while, he continued to kiss me on the neck and jaw. With my head thrown back I neared the point of no return. I needed him inside me.

I pulled at his pants and he swept my dress over my head. Now naked, except for my casts, I pressed myself against the back cushions of the sofa and he lifted my legs apart, supporting them under the knees. Then, he sank his cock deep inside of me.

He felt amazing, his sweet, swollen cock filling me up. His tempo was slow and his strokes were long, sending me out of my mind. Holding up my legs with a firm grip, he had me positioned at just the right angle to hit my g-spot. It was making me speechless; such a perfect sensation that my mouth simply hung open and my eyes rolled back until he ushered me into orgasm. The wanting moan leaking from my lips was low at first, and with each thrust it became louder. Soon I was screaming and retching while Paul was only getting started.

He scooped me up in his arms and flipped me on top of him. As I straddled his groin, he once again spread my legs wide and rolled his cock slowly into my pussy. Reaching around me he rubbed my clit, causing my body to shiver. He was whispering my name in my ear, over and over, and his rhythm increased in intensity. Then he grabbed my waist and while pounding me with the most delightful show of force, he swept my tongue into his mouth, sucking on it softly.

It was not long before we were both exploding, our bodies united in a fusion of lust and passion. Together we erupted, and the strength of my orgasm had me flying.

Exhausted, I remained limp in his arms. "That was great," I breathed.

"I always know just what you need," he said, and kissed me sweetly on the cheek.

"Right now I just need to curl up next to you and take a nap," I said, nuzzling the back my head into his neck.

"That sounds like a good idea." He carried me up to my room and we did exactly that.

- Paul

It was 3:32 am when the vibration woke me up. I heard it from across the room. Slowly, I undid myself from Lila's embrace and made my way quietly to answer it.

"Hey you," Martha crooned on the other end. "How's it going?"

"Do you know what time it is?"

"I know, and I'm sorry. It's just that ... well, I missed you," she said.

"Missed me, did you?" I asked, trying not to show the sarcasm in my voice.

"Well, of course I did silly, why wouldn't I?"

"Things are different now."

"Really, how?" She wasn't trying to hide her sarcasm.

"Lila knows how I feel about her," I said.

"And when do you think she figured this out?"

"When we were in bed together." The phone clicked, and I knew that I had pissed Martha off. It was only a matter of time before she would try to make good on her threat. I couldn't let that happen.

I went back to bed and huddled up next to Lila. In the warmth of her closeness I slept like a man who had everything he ever wanted, wishing we could stay there forever. The next morning, we were both awakened by loud footsteps coming up the staircase.

"Lila?! Is that jerk in there with you?!" Martha's voice echoed off the walls, shrill and piercing.

"Shit!" Lila said, trying to find some clothes. "There are times when I wish she didn't have a key."

Jumping up to pull on my boxers and a t-shirt, I said, "I'll see what see wants," and slipped out the door. I met Martha at the top of the stairs. She was pissed alright and looked like she hadn't slept all night.

"LI. . ." she cut herself off when she saw me at the foot of the stairs. "Well, it's nice that you could take time away from fucking Lila to come out and see me."

"Why are you here Martha?" I asked, coming toward her.

"I'm here to tell Lila what I know," she said, trying to get around me.

"And," I said, grabbing her arm, "Just what the fuck do you think you know?"

"I finally put two and two together, and I know what you're up to. I've seen your type before. You look for rich, helpless women to take advantage of and then take them for everything they've got. And I'll tell you something you son-of-a bitch, you're not going to get away with it."

"Is that what you think Martha? Are you really so small and petty that you think it's Lila's money I'm after? But I guess you would think that, wouldn't you."

"Don't you dare try to -- " The realization hit her like a 200 mph ace, "Oh ... my ... God ..." She tried to get past me, jamming her forearm into my ribs.

I pushed back. "Come on Martha. If you know what's good for you, you won't go into that room."

"No!" she said, "I won't let you do it --" Just then her foot slipped off the stair. She tried to regain her balance, but she missed the next step as well and fell straight back to the bottom.

The loud crash brought a scream from Lila's room, "PAUL!!!!!"

I yelled back, "Call 911!!! NOW!!!!"

While Lila dialed, I ran down to see how badly Martha was injured. Kneeling over her crumpled body, I felt for a pulse and found one. She was still alive. Lila was beside herself, she crawled out of her bedroom to try to see what had happened. It was all I could do to keep her away from the staircase. I couldn't let her see Martha like that, the shock would have been too great. It didn't take long for the paramedics to come, and the police arrived shortly after. They questioned me, and I told them what happened. Eventually, they would find no reason to suspect that the fall had been anything other than an accident.

A few days later, Lila's casts came off. You should have seen the smile on her face when she was finally able to bend and flex those beautiful long legs of hers. They were sexier than I had remembered, and we celebrated by having a night long marathon of sex. It felt so good to have those long legs wrapped around my body while my cock was buried inside her. She still couldn't walk far without a cane, but that didn't stop her from loving that she could use her legs in bed. She had me massage and caress them when we started to have sex. It would turn her on like almost nothing else.

One night, as we were warming up, she asked me to carry her into the bathroom. We were already naked, so I picked her up and carried her in. And with her direction, I placed her in the shower. I kept both my hands around her waist while she got the water running. My cock was right against her ass while she did this making me harder by the minute. When she finally found the right temperature, she turned around and started to kiss me, the water running over us, warm and delicate.

Then, Lila went to her knees and took my cock into her mouth. It was so damn erotic to see her there, taking me inside her lips, with the water making her hair wet and her eyes closed against the drops. Not wanting to be the only one enjoying myself, I quickly shifted the situation and pressed Lila against the wall, draping her legs over my shoulders while I licked her pussy. The water flowed over her body and streamed past her clit as I was licking it. The two sensations combined to produce a powerful orgasm as her legs locked around my head; delivery me a sweet spurt to the back of my mouth.

She through her head back and grinned ear to ear. Then, still holding on to her, I scooped her legs into my arms and held them apart, pressing her against the shower wall. I slid my cock inside of her and started a very slow rhythm, letting the water flow over both of us. Lila leaned forward to kiss me, and I closed my eyes, pretending that we were caught in a warm, summer shower. My hands held her legs up while my mouth went to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses and nibbles as my cock went deeper inside of her. She arched her back against the wall and brought her arms around me, holding on tight. I started to go faster and I could feel my orgasm rising from within. Then finally, I exhaled and I came deep inside of her; her body attached to mine and her pussy clamped around my cock, draining me of every drop. Gently, I released her legs and, we held each other there under the water for a long while; connecting on a level that tugged on my soul.

It was then that I heard her speak the words, "I love you Paul."

"Lila ... I ..."

"No," she said, "It's ok ... I understand."

"No Lila ... I mean ... I love you too."