Calculating Nemesis

Abbess Roding did not have such a thing as a take away food shop of any description, not even that British necessity, the ubiquitous Fish and Chip shop. It was well into the evening when I got Lily back home, so I drove down to the pub and asked Bernard the landlord if he could plate up a couple of meals. I had dined there often over the months without Lily, and he was happy to do that. We sat down together for the first time in eighteen months. She was very emotional, but we enjoyed the meal. Lily washed the plates in the sink her hands submerged in the hot soapy water humming happily, dried them and packed them back into the bag Bernard had lent me. For a while she wandered around the house, touching chairs, tables, ornaments. I watched fondly as she re-acquainted with these familiar surroundings, knowing that I was right to ask her to come home. It was strange preparing for bed. We were both hesitant finding little last minute chores to address, postponing the moment, fearful that the spark had flickered and died with the eighteen months apart. Yet when we did slip into bed I rolled towards Lily and she came into my arms so naturally that the time apart became insignificant. High emotion as we had experienced that day drained the body and we were both tired. Making love was not a priority, becoming a couple again was and holding each other tight was one way in which we could do that. Taking Lily in my arms as we snuggled into the warmth of our bed was one of the happiest times of my life. It was pleasure, contentment, and joy all served together as one emotion. Lily sighed heavily.

"Six hours ago I would have said that I would never enjoy my husband's arms around me ever again. Yet I am here and he is here and he is holding me as he used to. Six hours for my life to change completely. Thank you Chad. Thank you for being strong enough to forgive me. Thank you for loving me enough to overlook my ugly face. And thank you for just being you. My strength and support." I moved slightly and kissed her lips, silent tears were rolling down her cheeks. I licked them away. "They are tears of happiness, Chad my darling man. Happiness."

Work was placed on the back burner for a few days, as Lily and I re-connected in everyday life. I had made few changes in our house, just moving one or two ornaments and taking down pictures that had become a little too emotional for me to live with. Slowly, unobtrusively Lily found them. She didn't replace them where they had been before, she found another resting place. Without words she acknowledged that our previous life was gone and that we had to make a new one together, and she was helping to build that. We didn't go out in the village. Even with her hat and veil she was self-conscious about the injuries to her face.

When I did get back to work the message service had plenty for me to do. Frank had phoned a number of times and I returned his call as a priority. He was terse at first, berating me for not being there when he wanted to speak to me. Then his tone changed.

"I see that Lily is back." I shouldn't have been surprised he knew that. Frank has ways of keeping tabs on all those he considers useful to him.

"Yes."

"So you are human after all, Jes. I am glad to know that. Welcome to the real world. I hear that she had an accident."

"I wouldn't call it an accident."

"Why? what happened?" I smiled inwardly, Frank's information conduit was not as good as he thought.

"Some bastard threw acid in her face."

"Shit!" There was silence for a while. Frank had seen the photo I kept of Lily in my office and had often said he couldn't understand how I managed to get a woman as good looking as her. "Who did it?" He asked eventually.

"I don't know. All she said was that he was a tall skinny bloke. I do have my suspicions about who wanted it done."

"The skinny bloke would be Harry Splash. He's the only evil little slime that would do that. I'll have words with him and find out."

"When you do, let me know."

"No Jes. Your way will not work now. You would balk at the punishment needed for this. Faces see you as being on my team, and I have to maintain respect. I can't have others thinking that they can do this to one of my friends and get away with it." Frank never spoke about the incident again. I knew he would not have forgotten it.

Having Lily home again soon became normal. At my suggestion she would drive me to the station in the morning and collect me in the evening. I did this so that she would have the freedom of the car during the day, but apart from shopping she wouldn't go anywhere. Mrs. Solby came in just once week now as Lily insisted that she would do all the housework. I suspect that Mrs. Solby was surprised to see Lily back, though I gathered was pleased that she was. She was a garrulous soul and would regale anyone who cared to listen with all the gossip from the village, but to my knowledge never told anyone about Lily's face. Of course village life being what it was most inhabitants knew anyway. The garden fence network worked very efficiently. Lily didn't flaunt it but gaining confidence had walked to the village shop once or twice without her veil. I believe she told those who asked that she had an accident with hot cooking oil. We had connected physically now. A wonderful night when unplanned we made love. Clasped in each others arms, slick with our perspiration damp upon each other after our mutual delight was a revelation. I had thought that one or both of us would feel restrained because of what had happened. Not so. There was nothing but love between us. Lily always liked to talk after making love; well she liked to talk at anytime. As we lay there recovering I anticipated some words from her. Surprisingly she was silent. Joking I asked if she had lost her tongue.

"No Chad. It's just that I am lost for words. This was like our first time in Tenerife. Do you remember it? I was lost for words then."

"How could I forget it? You came to me and gave me not only your body, but yourself. The most precious gift anyone had ever given me." Her arms tightened on my body an acknowledgement of the words of love.

"You gave me yourself too, Chad. I couldn't believe that anyone could give me so much pleasure. But you did. I felt that tonight was another honeymoon first night."

"It was in a way, Lily."

We chose a Cosmetic Surgeon, a James Waterman. He of course consulted in Harley Street and would be expensive. However he was truthful. The burnt tissue could benefit from grafts, and he could rebuild Lily's eyelids and lips. But he warned us that he could not restore her face to what it had been. He did enquire why Lily had not had hospital treatment. I explained that we were estranged at the time it happened and Lily erroneously thought I was responsible so didn't seek medical help in order that I did not get into trouble. He was astonished.

"Your wife must love you very much, Mr. Martin." Lily replied.

"I do Mr. Waterman." Back in the car we discussed the consultation. I was disappointed, but Lily was pragmatic.

"Chad, if he can't repair my face to what I was before, it will have a benefit. I can look in the mirror and see what I am, and remember why I am this way. My face in the mirror is a warning everyday not to trust glib bastards again. I belong to you." She hesitated a moment before going on. "It would be good to be able to close my eyes completely though. They water so much." I could see her logic although I was disappointed that she would never be the Lily I had appreciated before.

The cosmetic surgery took some three months to complete. Lily was delighted with the results although when they first allowed her to look in the mirror she was horrified at the bruising. She spent three separate weeks in hospital with time for recuperation after each procedure. There were some small scars although Mr. Waterman had managed to hide these under her jaw line and in the wrinkles under her eyes. The most important result for Lily was that she could close her eyes properly. She would never have eye lashes but that was little bother for a woman, false eye lashes served well. She was equally delighted that she had lips again. A feature she tested frequently, demanding kisses at any opportunity. I enjoyed the testing as well. Although it was a great improvement, Mr. Waterman had told us the truth. Even with the grafts, Lily's face still had a little of that melted plastic look, something like the aftermath of a stroke. She would live with that until her dying day.

Apart from my being an accountant, Lily knew nothing about my clients and the way they made their money. I thought that some exposure of my work was needed. We sat down one weekend and I explained what I did and for whom. Also how they made their money. She surprised me, by giggling.

"Did I say something funny?"

"No, Chad. I just tried to picture you as a gangster."

"Well?"

"No. It didn't work. Please don't get upset. But you are the last person anyone could think as being crooked." I smiled.

"Good. That's the impression I want to give."

We talked about my retirement plan. She got very excited about that.

"Where would we go?"

"I thought Spain or Cyprus would do."

"Wouldn't they come looking for you?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"That will only happen if I am not careful. I will go on being careful and in a few more years we can leave it all behind us." She was pensive looking around our home.

"It will be such a shame to leave here. I do love this house and the area." I had thought about this as well. The Roothing area was a very pleasant place to live.

"Well, we could just buy a villa and spend the winters abroad." Her face lightened.

"Could we, Chad? Would that be alright?"

"I don't see why not. If that is what you want we can go looking now. How do you feel about a holiday in the sun?"

"I would love it. I can buy some itsy-bitsy bikinis and get a good tan or even go topless. And if you are very good, I will take off the bottoms as well when we are alone together." She giggled mischievously. "Then you can have your wicked way with me whenever you feel like it." She paused as a lascivious gleam came to her eyes. "Often. I hope." I thought I should book a holiday as soon as possible. The delights on offer were too much to wait for.

I am aware that there are many men who would not have taken an unfaithful wife back, yet at the same time would expect their wives to forgive and forget their indiscretions. That is their choice. I chose differently. Lily was stupid and got herself into a situation that she couldn't control. I have read enough after Terry Dax mentioned it, about the effect of these so called 'date rape' drugs, to know they affect people differently. Bennington was clever, he knew just how to manipulate his chosen victim and knew exactly when to administer the drug. The outcome was that he paid, Haskins and Wellow paid and I paid for his actions. However, Lily paid most. There has to come a time when ego and pride has to be put aside and compassion, humanity and love should guide our decisions. Not in every case as every situation is different. My wife will live with the physical as well as mental evidence of her fall from grace for the rest of her life. Some will say that once a cheater, always a cheater, but like all aphorisms it isn't writ in stone.

The BBC news had an item one evening regarding a certain Harold Attingham whose dead body was pulled from the Thames by the river police. His injuries, according to the police, were inflicted before he went into the water and appeared to be an acid attack. Two months later was a report on the evening news that once again reminded me of my conversation with Frank. It would appear that a prisoner at Sudbury open prison had been attacked. The culprit had used an ordinary table knife, stolen from the kitchens and roughly sharpened, to saw at the victim's face and neck. The injuries were not life threatening, however the victim would be horrendously scarred for life. The victim was a W.A. Bennington. The East End tradition continued.