Charles and Diana Ch. 03

"What's the matter, sexy man? Afraid I might not be able to handle what you really want to do to me? Do I make you feel like an animal? When it comes to sex, we're all animals...it's an instinct. A lot of male animals are driven to fuck whatever females they can—but not you. You mate for life...and now that you've found your mate, don't you feel driven to fuck me like you've always yearned to? Like you need to plant your seed in me and procreate? By the way, I do hope you want children!" She said that last sentence rather matter-of-factly.

He had been just about to pounce on her when she made the statement about procreating, and he almost jerked as it struck his brain that he's already ejaculated inside her twice and they didn't use any kind of precautions! He looked at her with a stunned expression on his face and said, "Yes, I've always wanted children, but not right away! I want at least a year or two to enjoy what we can do for each other sexually before we have children—you know our sex life won't be the same after that! And I've got a lot of wasted years to make up for, don't you?"

She grinned and nodded, but then he asked her carefully, "Not that I'm going to hold anything against you, but just for my own peace of mind...how many men have you had sex with and was it always without any kind of protection?"

She frowned as she thought back over the years and counted the number of men she'd had sex with, then she looked at him and said, "Fifteen. Sixteen including you, but only two were without any protection...John Wayne and you."

His eyes went wide, then he frowned and sat on the edge of the bed and said, "Diana...I knew you'd had a bit of experience with sex, but...I'd figured most of it would have been with only a few men who you may have dated for awhile...but fifteen? What happened in your life to make you use men like...prostitutes?"

Diana snorted a laugh after he said that...it was a very good term for what she'd done. So she sat up next to him and explained how she'd always had low self-esteem growing up because she had taken it so personally when she was picked on and teased as a child just because she was one of the youngest and smallest kids in her neighborhood. When she developed her shapely body just before she was 13, boys had only wanted to go out with her so they could feel her up and try to have sex with her, and then had rejected her when she wouldn't give in—she never had a steady boyfriend.

She lost her virginity when she was 23 to a bastard who'd tricked her into thinking she was in love with him because he tried to personify John Wayne for her when she told him that she'd always fantasized about Wayne, and that he reminded her of Wayne. But his motive all along had been just to take her virginity...that was his thing...being the first man to fuck a virgin—he'd dumped her as soon as it was over. She'd gotten so upset with herself for being so stupid that she had given up looking for love. But she'd developed a potent sexuality during her late teens because of her lust for John Wayne and her fascination with the sensuousness of sex, and in her mid to late twenties, it drove her to need sex every so often. So she'd gone out and found men who'd attracted her enough, made them understand and agree that sex was all she wanted from them and once it was over, she never saw them again, and she never even told them her name.

When she had her chance encounter with the big man, she had just hoped that he would be attracted to her enough and that she'd be able to convince him to have sex with her...she'd never expected him to instantly desire her more than any woman he'd ever met and then fall in love with her! It had been Wayne who had convinced her she was a wonderful woman who deserved to find happiness with a man worthy of her—he'd wanted to be that man. He'd even convinced her that if he could get her pregnant even though she wasn't in the fertile period of her cycle during their weekend, that it would've been a sign they were meant to be together...but it didn't happen. So they'd parted, with him making her promise that she would find a "decent" man worthy of her love.

Then she looked at him sincerely and said, "So, if everything you've told me about yourself is true and not bullshit, then I'd say you're definitely a decent man worthy of my love. I think the big man would be very happy for me...jealous of you, but happy for me!" as she smiled softly at him.

He'd frowned as she told him about her past; he knew she was telling the truth because from everything she'd experienced and felt during her childhood and adolescence and how she'd reacted to the episode when she'd lost her virginity, she was a classic case of a beautiful woman who should've been a happy, healthy, confidant individual, but instead had felt rejected and full of self-doubt. She had loads of self-confidence now because of her supposed "encounter" with the "big man"—but he still believed that was a dream or fantasy she had contrived for herself in order to give her that confidence.

He reached his hand up to stroke her cheek and said gently, "I'll never hold any of this against you. I just wish we could've met when we were teenagers—I'd have been your steady boyfriend and I would never have let you go then. You would never have fallen in love with John Wayne because I would've made you fall in love with me instead. And you wouldn't have suffered all those years of pain and self-doubt. I'm so sorry, pretty lady. I hope I can take away any lingering pain you feel," he finished quietly as he wiped away a few tears that had started to fall from her eyes thinking she still felt the pain of her past hurts.

Diana had started to cry because Charles was so sincere in his wish that he could've prevented all that pain for her, but he thought she was still suffering from it. She smiled at him as she stopped crying and said, "You already have. The only pain you could cause me now is if you ever try to throw any of my past back at me. I've been honest with you about everything—why would I tell you things like that about me if they weren't true? I have just one request—don't ever ask me for any intimate details about my weekend with the 'big man'—understand?"

He frowned slightly as he nodded that he understood; there she goes, sending him mixed signals again. If it had actually happened, then of course she would feel uncomfortable telling her husband what she had done with another man. If it were a dream or a fantasy, why would she be so unwilling to give him any details about what happened between them? Because she hadn't concocted the story as a sexual fantasy—it was a fantasy about being loved by someone who could affirm for her that she was worthy of being loved.

That had to be it...there was no other explanation. And he was not going to try to take that away from her; as long as she continued to love him and show her love for him as much as she has in just the past 2 hours, then he'll take her as she is...without reservations. His heart opened to her completely in that moment; he knew he'd never love anyone else like this ever again.