Chimera

byhelena_snow_renn©

The main thing was how you kept looking at me & I knew, KNEW it was there with you too. You crushed me in your arms, rained kisses on my face, open to my overflow of heavily locked-down desire for you. Your earlobes & inner ears--candy for my tongue. My skills, ten years rusty, springing forth till I can't breathe. Your tongue is hot & probing on mine, then trailing down my neck & shoulders. I bite you; this is savage, & you don't slap me down. You are the one squirming & writhing & humping my leg, up on your balcony for the whole damn neighborhood to watch. Like you can't believe it, can't get enough, you chase me up a mountain that burns, or guide me with those small square hands that search out my skin & secret places. I'm not going to keep it in, panting, whining, begging for you, because it's got be your choice too. Somewhere soft music pulsates like our bodies throb for each other's, still pushing & shoving for clearance.

In the house, it doesn't stop there, now maybe slightly more restrained. You look down at me from a height advantage of one inch, which you're playing on. Stare at me long seconds, kiss me, spell me; your lips, now centered between laugh lines down your cheeks, so sweet, talking without words. It's dark but moonlit or maybe it's a streetlight & your eyes glitter while you smile at me, at me 'cause I'm here. I need to bruise you & leave my marks on you. We go at each other, pull back & stare, wonderingly, then start it all again. You hold your head slightly cocked so your eyes are off-kilter, the 'oh my God' look not leaving for one instant. Lead me on in this dance; there's enough power building that I'm content with that, for now. Buttons unbutton & summer-light clothing drifts away revealing our collective blue-white skin that in this light gleams like porcelain. You walk around me, re-acquainting our bodies which somehow still fit together, or you're so adept that it doesn't matter. In my face again, yours, saying how happy you are while your hands prove it. I feel clumsy, I want to drink you and suck you up into my mouth and swallow you & don't know what to do first. I crave you, your body, but my pleasure is just as much the head-trip. I talk, to you, to myself, affirming what I'm feeling: "It's magic."

You invite me to your room, advising me of the prophylactic treasures within & I laugh--I have come prepared too. I have to do this, glove you, & you let me. I apply it with no hands, but more than that press your flesh into the depths of my throat & squeeze, run my teeth up & down most carefully, feeling out the ridges, planes, arteries & veins.

You make a place beside you, my place, & gently beckon me to lie beside you now. For one millisecond. We roll toward each other and collide with the same intensity as the first instant you knew, I knew, KNEW. This time it's all naked skin & no other barrier except the one specified. Intense & grappling, breath meeting & surrounding us, my cries are flying out your window all over your street tonight. You wanted a ride, I'll be your ride, unfolding, guileless, thinking, "God, I haven't had sex in a year," then taking his name in vain, over & over, god, Jesus, lord Jesus Christ...!

Am I praying? Is this prayer? I think we're performing an exorcism, letting our ghost selves dissipate around us as we melt into each other. It's fucking raunchy, pushing you, open & spread & speared by you, the whole world centered on you & me, crazy on fire & banging our silly song with our names & God's as lyrics. You hunt me down, knowing what to do to me, & shove me till I am white-eyed & lolling, twitching. A warm fountain bubbles over & drenches me & it's too soon to be over, but of course its not. You stop, pause above me, watch me with something that looks like adoration.

Now it is your turn, our turn, my turn too; your striving for release is going to make me explode. It does, right after you as I dig my purple claws into your back, trying to stifle my shrieks. This time a wave pulls the knot in my lower belly loose & the unknotted rope up to my head & out my mouth. This must be what it's like to be a succubus, for the meaning of life to be fucking & coming & being everything & nothing but an erotic chimera.

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