Clone Saga: Tanks for Nothing

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This story contains graphic violence and rape scenes. It's a one-shot spin-off of the Ben and Streek series. Like me, it's not to be taken seriously. -Ax

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A giant walks into a bar. The bar was Fevs' Place, in downtown Keyser, on the planet Verona, in Unprotected Space, in the Cygnus arm of the Milky Way galaxy.

The grey haired bartender looked up as he approached. "Well, look who it is. I thought I felt the ground shaking. Good to see ya Tank, it's been a while. Where have ya been?"

"Better places than this." replied the big Pirate.

"Lucky you. Fev is downstairs, they're waiting for ya."

Tank nodded and walked past the bar, to the stairway. He ducked under the doorway, as he was accustomed to doing, and made his way down the stairs.

The large underground room was filled with people, mostly men in black jackets. They cheered as they saw Tank coming down the stairs. "There's Tank," said one of them, "I heard the sun rises every morning only because he lets it."

"I heard when he does push-ups, he actually pushes the planet away from him." said another man.

"I heard he's a descendant of Arnold Schwartz, the Alien slayer."

In the middle of the room was a large, wired cage. As Tank got to the bottom, he was approached by a dark skinned man with a black afro. He wore dark clothes that were adorned with gold and silver jewellery. "Tank, glad you could make it my friend. It's been too long."

"What have you got for me Fev?"

"I got a Kraken. Been having a string of wins, and is feelin' pretty damn cocky. Reckons he's got what it takes to take on the Tank."

"Yeah, yeah. I stopped coming here cos' it stopped being fun and profitable. So tell me this isn't a waste of my time."

"Well, as it is, he's paying out thirty dollars, and you would pay out one dollar and one cent, as low as it can go." Tank looked down at him and growled. "...but I was hoping you would agree to a handicap fight."

"What's the handicap?"

"Your arms bound behind your back. It would lower his pay out to fifteen dollars, and raise yours to one dollar and twenty five cents."

Tank nodded, "Okay, I bet all my winnings on Tank. Do you offer odds on a ten second knockout?"

"Ten seconds?! uh ...no."

"Do you offer odds on a ten second knockout for me?"

"Uh ...yeah, ...five bucks."

"I'll take the bet."

Soon Tank was standing in the cage. He had taken his large black jacket off, and was in his tight grey shirt. His large muscular arms were bound behind his back with cable locks. Men were standing all around the cage cheering loudly.

Opposite him was a dark skinned man, around six foot two and with a muscular build. He had long dreadlocks and wore a white singlet. He was smiling and looking Tank up and down, mostly up. "After tonight they're gunna call me the Tank Slayer. And when I tell the story, it's gunna be me with my hands cuffed."

Tank just looked down at him and smiled.

Fev got up on the platform and called out over the crowd. "Allright, If you haven't placed your bets yet, then hurry the fuck up. Today we've got a handicap match between Rick Abel of the Krakens, undefeated, and, returning to cage, Tank of the Steel Sharks, undefeated."

Fev walked around beside the cage and lifted up a heavy wooden baseball bat. He tossed it into the cage. "For whoever wants to use it!" he said, smiling at Tank. Tank just stood there, cool and emotionless. Rick Abel picked the baseball bat up, chuckling. Fev sounded the bell, and the crowd roared.

Rick wound up and swung the baseball bat hard, slamming into Tanks' side. Tank barely moved. He suddenly stepped forward and gave a hard kick into Ricks' guts, lifting him up off the ground and making him cry out in pain. The baseball bat clanged on the ground. He came back down again and was falling forward as Tank slammed his knee into his head, sending him backwards, onto the ground.

Tank casually walked over to the dazed man and stomped his head into the ground. The crowd roared around him. Tank grit his teeth and strained. He ripped his huge arms apart and the broken cable-locks fell to the ground. Tank turned to Fev, who was staring at him wide-eyed. "Get me my money."

Soon Tank was upstairs again. "So how did it go?" asked the bartender.

"Not all that fun, but fairly profitable. Don't think Fev will be inviting me back here again." He put some slips on the bar and reached over and grabbed a bottle of Rum. He turned and started walking away.

"You're not gunna drink that here?" asked the bartender.

"It's a nice day. Why the fuck would I wanna spend it here?"

Tank was walking down the side of the streets of downtown Keyser, taking swigs of his Rum. Everyone coming the other way moved aside for the huge Pirate. His side was bruised and throbbing, but he never let a little pain bother him. He was cashed up now, time to find an expensive woman and make it a great day.

He was walking toward an alley way, when suddenly someone darted out of it, and ran right into him. Tank barely felt it, but the young woman felt like she ran right into a brick wall, she fell backwards onto her ass.

It was a pretty, young Asian woman, with jet black hair. She looked up at him with fearful eyes. "Please, help me! They're after me!" she pleaded. Tank heard the roar of swoop bikes down the alley, they were getting louder.

"Stay here." said Tank, as he walked toward the alley. He stood next to the entrance as he took another swig of Rum and listened to roaring engines get louder. He held his arm out straight, past the corner.

The arm connected with the helmeted head of a swoop bike rider, and he was knocked back, while the swoop bike continued zooming forward out of the alley. The rider hit the floor, and the swoop bike wobbled wildly and then crashed onto the road. Another swoop bike shot out of the alley way.

The rider on the ground was groaning loudly and struggling to get up. The other rider had stopped his hovering bike and swung it around. He was sitting in the middle of the road, looking at Tank through his dark helmet.

He raised a stun-gun toward the huge man. Tank tossed his almost-empty Rum bottle, and it smashed into the riders' wrist, making him drop the gun. The rider cried out in pain and yelled out "MotherFucker!!"

He revved his engine. He was planning on running this huge stranger down. Tank bent down and grabbed hold of the rider on the ground. As the swoop bike shot toward him, he roared and tossed the man at it. The body slammed into the bike and caused it to wobble out of control.

Tank casually stepped aside, as the crashing swoop bike slid past him. The other rider was rolling along the road, before coming to a stop and lying there limply. Tank walked over to him, bent down and lifted him up. He wrapped his large hand around the black helmet and ripped it off.

The rider was an ugly red headed man in his thirties. He looked dazed and was moaning and wincing. "Fuckin' amateurs!" said Tank. He slammed his fist into the face of the man, knocking him unconscious. Then he dropped him down onto the road.

Several people were standing around watching wide-eyed at the display of violence. The young woman was still standing there. She looked around twenty years old, with a pretty, round face and short black hair. She stood around five foot seven, and had shapely, long legs and nice pert breasts. She was wearing long grey pants and a light green blouse.

She looked up at Tank with wide eyes as he approached her. "Thank you sir, you saved me."

"Come with me." said Tank. He went over to the crashed Swoop bike and lifted it up. It faltered and bobbed up and down, scraping on the ground. Tank gave it a kick and it hovered in place. He climbed onto it and looked at the young woman.

She hesitated, and then cautiously walked over to the bike. She squealed as Tank grabbed her around her waist and effortlessly lifted her onto the bike behind him. The engine roared and they took off. Tank didn't want to hang around and spend his winnings bribing the Keyser Police.

They drove on for a bit at high speed, weaving through the ground traffic. Eventually he came to a stop outside a Lovecroftian Temple. The large menacing statue of Cthulhu seemed to look down at them. Tank cut the engine. "How much?" he asked the woman.

"Excuse me?"

"The bounty on you. How much?"

"Oh, I ...I don't know."

"They had stun weapons, so they gotta want you alive. Who then?"

"My ...My father put the bounty on me."

"Yeah? Who's your daddy?"

"He's the CEO of ValcoCorp Galactic."

Tank smiled, "A rich fucker then. I don't give a shit why your daddy put a bounty on you, I just wanna know where I gotta take you to collect."

"Please, I know it's not safe for me here, but I don't want to go back there."

"It aint about what you want Sweetheart."

"No, ...it never is." she said sadly.

"Tell me!" said Tank menacingly.

"Poitas."

Tank got his TAB out from his jacket pocket and called Sadie. A small holographic screen appeared above the device with the young womans' face, with its' Mohawk and all its' piercings. "Tank, what's up?" said Sadie.

"Hi Captain. I was just wonderin' if the Jaws was available to go off planet for a bit."

"No, I told you, it's getting some upgrades at the moment. You've got leave for the rest of the week. Have some fun, do whatever the fuck you want, just don't go upsetting the other factions again. ...I'm not doing much, perhaps we could hook up."

"Nah, I got something to keep me occupied. I'll see ya later Captain."

"Right, I would tell you to stay out of trouble, but it's you I'm talking to. See ya Tank."

Tank put the TAB away in his jacket again. "Looks like my regular ride is in the shop. We're gunna have to find another way to get there."

"You're another Bounty Hunter?" asked the young woman.

"No, I'm a free man, a Pirate. Sometimes I do a bit of bounty hunting, whatever gets me paid."

"You're not going to cuff me or anything?"

"Are you gunna cause any trouble?"

"I might run."

"Don't."

Tank started up the loud engine again, and the woman grabbed him tightly as they shot off. Around twenty minutes later, he pulled up outside Keysers' Ferry Terminal.

A young skin-head was walking past. His black jacket identified him as a member of the Pirate Alliance and a tattoo on his neck identified him as a member of the Stingray faction.

"Oi! You! Stingray!" called out Tank.

The man turned and looked at him, "You're Tank!" he said.

"I fuckin' know who I am. Do you want to buy a Swoop-bike?"

He looked the bike over, "Is it stolen?"

"What the fuck do you think?"

"I mean, is it stolen from someone in the factions?"

"What the fuck do you think?"

"How much?"

"How much do you have on you?"

"Fifty bucks."

"It's yours for a hundred."

The young man smiled and pulled out a couple of fifty dollar credit slips and handed them to Tank. He stared at the young woman. "Nice bitch you have there. I like the Asian pussy. You pimpin' her?"

"You got some more money for pussy do you?"

"No, no, I gave you all my money. I was just makin' conversation. Just sayin' you got a nice bitch, is all."

Tank got off the bike and helped the young woman off. "Nice doin' business with you." said the other Pirate, climbing onto the bike.

They entered the Terminal. Tank looked up at the board for a Ship that was travelling to Poitas. Luckily for him, there was one leaving soon. They walked down to the docks, among the large passenger Star Ships. There was a fair bit of activity going on around them.

"Hey! Be careful with that! There's some sensitive equipment in there." A short, thin man with short dark hair and a goatee was yelling at a loader driver who was loading a large shipping container into the ship.

He stepped back into Tank and looked up at the big Pirate. "Hey! You're supposed to ...oh, you're not ...hmmm, excuse me." He walked away from them.

"Strange man." said the young woman.

It was the ship Tank was looking for, QF164. The large, white, bulky Star Ship looked like it had seen better days. It had the Quazar logo painted on its' side.

It was illegal for businesses to operate in unprotected space, according to the Galactic Federation. But there was profit to be made, and so the large transport companies run very unofficial sub companies from Verona. They often used their oldest ships, and least desirable employees in the dangerous spaceways. Quazar was an unofficial subsidiary of QuantumCorp.

There was a line of people waiting to board the ship. Tank and his mark walked past them all, and up to the Quazar employee at the front. "Hey!" called out a middle aged man Tank had cut in front of.

"What?" said Tank, looking down at him.

"...nothing." said the man, looking away.

"...uh, ID chips." said the employee, looking at them.

The woman held her TAB up and the man waved a small device near it. "Amelia Lees. Welcome aboard ma'am." he looked up at Tank, "...ID chip sir." Tank got his TAB out and held it out, and the man swiped it. "This just says Tank, there's no surname."

"You got a problem with that?" said Tank.

"Uh, no, no problem. You will need to check in any weapons you have. Passage will be eight hundred and sixty dollars for both of you."

"Fuckin' rip off!" said Tank angrily. He got his stash of slips out from his pocket and payed the man. They moved on to where a security guard was standing.

"Please check in all weapons. You will get them back upon exiting the craft." Tank reached in his black jacket and pulled out his large Magnum Revolver, specially customised for his big hands. He placed it on the metal bench.

"You better not go messin' with that, or I'll show you how it works." He unclipped the large vibro-blade machete from his waist and put it on the table as well. He knelt down and got a second knife from his boot. He reached into his belt and pulled out a big black frag grenade and put it on the bench.

"What are you doing with a grenade?" said the security guard, staring at it.

"I like grenades." said Tank.

Soon the Star Ship lifted off from the terminal and flew off into the blue sky. Tank had made his way to the large, open bar area, and Amelia was following meekly behind him. Tank sat on a stool at the bar.

"Rum." he told the bartender, "...leave the bottle." He turned to the girl, "What about you?"

"Oh, I don't normally drink."

"Just get her one of your girly cocktails." he told the bartender.

The bartender got them their drinks. Amelia looked at her blue and white drink in a large cocktail glass, she reluctantly took a sip. "This isn't bad." she said looking up at Tank. Tank just lifted his bottle of Rum and took a gulp. The bar area was slowly filling up with other passengers.

"You don't ask many questions do you?" said Amelia, "But I bet you want to know what's going on between me and my father."

"I'd rather know how much I'll be getting paid." said Tank.

"My dad is the biggest Ass-hole!" said Amelia. "He doesn't give a shit about me. All he cares about is business. I barely saw him at all while I was growing up, and that was fine with me, I hate him."

The windows around the room seemed to glow a bright orange, and then the view became a star field on a black background as they entered space.

"...He sees me as an asset. Made a 'business deal' to marry me off to the CEO of Lexcorp. A fuckin' arranged marriage, I had no say in the matter. This man I'm supposed to be marrying is twice my age, and by all accounts a real fuckin' Sicko Sadist." She took another mouthful of her cocktail.

"...I heard he has a dungeon where he likes taking young women. Heard he can't get it up unless he's badly hurting and humiliating them. ...It's horrible. Do you think my father cares? All he cares about is the fuckin' corporation."

Tank just sat there drinking his Rum. Soon the Captains' voice came over the intercom, "Attention crew and passengers, we will soon be making the jump to Hyper-warp." Soon the Ship shuddered, and the windows went pitch black as the Star Ship sped away from the Verona system.

"I'm a living person, not a commodity to be traded around." continued Amelia. "...That's why I ran away. But you just see me as a commodity as well, don't you?"

"You're a paycheck, waiting to be cashed in." said Tank.

"I'm not cut out for being out here on the run. I could have been killed or raped, if I hadn't run into someone like you."

Tank looked down at her and smiled, "Aint no one like me. If there is, I'd like to meet him."

"You've got the tough guy act down to a fine art don't you?"

"Act? Sweet-heart I'm probably the most honest man you're ever likely to.."

BANG! There was the sound of a loud gunshot behind them. Everyone in the room let out a collective gasp. Tank casually looked over his shoulder. There were three huge men, all identical, standing at the doorway.

A Security Guard in the room drew his gun, there were four more gunshots and the bullets ripped through the guards' chest and he cried out and dropped to the ground. The passengers in the bar cried out in fear and cowered down. Amelia had a terrified look on her face. Tank took another swig of his Rum.

"Everyone stay cool!" came the booming voice of one of the large gunmen from the doorway. "We are the Flynn clones, and we're hijacking this shitty vessel. If anyone else wants to be a hero, then just step forward."

The terrified passengers stayed where they were. A woman near the bar sobbed in fear. "What do we do?" asked Amelia, looking up at Tank.

"Don't do anything." said Tank.

"Get out your TABs, cash and jewellery, and get ready to hand them over." called out one of the clones. Tank looked them over, they were around the same size as him, seven and a half feet tall and full of muscle. They each had short dark hair and goatees. Tank recognised the face, the weedy guy from outside the Ship. 'So, he managed to smuggle a bunch of his clones aboard, this could be fun!'

The clones came further into the large room. Tank could see that they each had large hand-guns, and knives sheathed on their belts. One of them started going around with a large black bag, taking the valuables off of the passengers.

One of them came up to the bar, where they were. He looked at Amelia and approached her. "Well, well, Hey there baby! You're pretty cute! Ever had a fat fourteen inch clone dick up your twat?"

Amelia looked terrified. Then Tank took another swig of his Rum and stood up. He was right in front of the clone, looking into his eyes. It was very rare that he could look someone in the eyes without having to look down.

The clone didn't look phased, "Big man! You don't intimidate me big man. I'm just as big as you, and there's a whole bunch of me. You're probably used to towering over everyone, making them shit-scared. But when you come up against someone your own size, what have you got?"

"I got your knife!" said Tank. The clones eyes went wide and he let out a gasp as Tank stabbed the knife up through his rib-cage. "Get behind the bar Amelia." said Tank, as he grabbed onto the dying clone.

"We got a fuckin' hero!" called out one of the other clones. He fired several shots toward Tank. Tank held up the other clone as a shield, then roared, as he ran forward and threw the large body into the gunman.

The other clone raised his gun at Tank. Tank grabbed a metal bar stool and flung it at him. The stool slammed into him, making him stumble back. Then Tank ran forward with a few long strides, and smashed his fist into the clones' face with a strong right hook.

The clone raised his gun again and Tank grabbed it, and then slammed a fist into his face again. Tank yanked the gun from his grip and then fired off a couple of shots into his head, making him drop to the ground dead.