Clowns To The Left Of Me, Jokers...

The Story I'm going to tell you is about Love, Lust, and Fucking your Best Friend.

Of course... it never does start out that simply, does it?

I was cursing every force in the universe that had gone into creating HER, every sexual urge, every ungodly act, every evolutionary leap that had brought about her existence. I cursed the ground she strode upon, the air she exhaled, the very sky above her, that was about her through no fault of it's own. To hate the sky, what a thing to do! And all over a Blonde as well... of all things to hate the sky for, a blonde was not the deepest of them by far.

As I stomped away from the Hall, my raggedly combed hair tossing about in the high wind of the late afternoon, I could not help but smile. Whatever lunacy had convinced me to go and attempt reason with her, that lunacy harbored a greater sense of humor and poetic justice than any satirist ever.

The grounds were well kept, clean and orderly. Green was everywhere, and the soft air of the late spring rode well across my skin, relaxing me as my stride lessened, slowed. Breathing deeply as I thought of the recent events, I needed to sit down and collect my thoughts. I walked to a nearby stone bench and sat awhile in thought, going over the past hour or so in my head, piece by piece, slice by slice, cut by cut.

For it was violent, if not physically then surely mentally. Confrontation with HER was certainly a dead man's gamble, if not anything else. The stone was cold on my skin as I remembered the events to the music of rustling, hundred year-old oak branches...

For Five years we'd been "friends"... you know the sort, always together, flirting constantly, fighting even more, always on the edge of either killing each other or fucking each other's brains out. For five years we'd stayed at that impasse, unable to accept either solution as viable, likely, or necessary. Both pretending that our situation was exactly what we wanted, that we were in control.

But God, how I wanted to have her! Every minute of sexual experience in my life had been, in my eyes, preparation for a day I was unsure of ever coming. Every lick, suck, touch, caress, tingle, pinch, pull, rub, tug, moan, groan, sigh, scream, every tantalizing, sensational moment... everything had been for the day I would have her as mine, if only for a day, maybe less. This Muse, oh that she was! This inspiration to a thousand fantasies, to a million lyrical bouts of ecstasy. Golden hair, that shone without light, crystal blue eyes, with a ring of yellow fire about them. Those eyes haunted me every night, calling to me and killing me with every second of their sight. Fairest skin, smooth and flawed, perfect in that humanity. A womanly figure, tall, slender but with just the right curves in the right placement, as if Venus herself had carved my Muse from solid Ambrosia. Tone, statuesque, she was, without a doubt, the most beautiful creature in the world...

And, without a doubt, the most enraging of them! I'd gone, quite amiably, to her room to talk about our plans for the weekend (namely hanging out at the coffee shops, me with my Latte and her with a cup of Earl Grey, talking, arguing, and simply living) and maybe just hang out for a little bit. Both of our classes were done for the day, so I didn't think at the time that it would be any problem. Oh how wrong I had been...

I'd come in without even knocking, as was per usual, but this time it was quite unusual. There She was, my muse, propped up against her headboard, body splayed out facing the door frame containing one formerly calm Coed. Nude from the waist down, her shirt unbuttoned revealing the pink, hardened flesh of a nipple, I could smell the sex in the air. How I had not tasted the delectable flavour before entering, I do not know, for the musk was thick in the room. It was sharp, strong, spiced. I'd always enjoyed savouring different scintillating perfumes, and this was certainly no exception... except I could not savour this. Her fingers had been above and below, the middle and index of her left penetrating deep into her sopping wet pussy, the thumb jabbing and rubbing over her small, erect clit. The fingers on her right hand were playing with the exposed nipple, and her eyes were half closed in abandon and lust as I stumbled into her room.

Half closed were her eyes, but she was quite conscious otherwise. Almost instantly they shot open, and her previously busy digits fled from their pleasuring ministrations to cover her nudity (a silly thing to do, since it was a sight I'd seen many times before, in multiple states of undress). I saw it all in slow motion, as her right hand moved from her breast, clutched the heavy rock paper-weight on the table next to her bed, and shot it with Artemisian accuracy at my chest. The impact was not so much painful as it was startling, and I doubled over, the breath in my lungs flying out quickly.

As my eyes were turned down to the ground, watering as I attempted to recapture the breath that had escaped my lungs, I heard her jump out of bed and toss on a pair of shorts from her floor. Short cut offs, I noticed, the ones that hugged that perfect heart-shaped-

"Thank for knocking, Ass hole!" She screamed at me, running behind my dazed form and slamming the door. "What if you'd been with friends, can you imagine the shit I'd be in when the story got around? That is if you had any other friends than me!"

I stifled a laugh and responded slowly, not wishing to draw anymore of her wrath than I deemed necessary

"How scandalous that would be... I can see it now: College Coed MASTURBATING in privacy of own room caught by Fraternity President, becomes most popular girl on Campus. News at Eleven. " I coughed and unbent myself, leaning against the wall and facing her still flushed form.

"Bastard! You know Andrew would kill me if he knew I did this!" She responded, causing the blood in MY veins to boil and my face to turn a shade or two redder than they already had been. But this was not the blush of embarrassment and desire, this was the heat of hatred and an impassioned wish to slowly skin alive her scrawny, pot-smoking, "Holier than thou" Roman Catholic Philosophy major Daddy buys me everything ass of a boyfriend. Now, I might understand her adulation of the guy if he treated her well, but he didn't. He treated her like shit... worse than shit, he treated her like the flatulent leftovers of a forty-year old fermented elephant turd. Cruel, sadistic, controlling and obviously unfaithful, his very presence in the same zip code as I was put me in a foul mood.

"Well, we certainly can't have that, can we?" I asked, a bit more sarcastically then I'd planned. For a second a hurt expression fell over her face, but it quickly became rage.

"AAAAHHH!" She yelled

That's when she tackled me. And right after that would be when I fell, first against the wall, and then rebounded forward, on top of her onto the hardwood floor. The back of my head stung from its impact with the brick surface, and my chest ached from the double beating it had been taking recently.

But she was not through. Struggling under me, she inched her hands over my left nipple and squeezed, and twisted, and pinched, and yanked, and generally caused me a lot of pain. I was very sensitive there, having just given up on my nipple rings, and the abuse they were getting was not helping. Reacting unconsciously, I squirmed and jerked in pain, my hands going to the assaulting appendage.

It was sticky... I wondered why for a moment, and then realized she'd been fingering herself not two minutes earlier with the same fingers that were now slowly causing incredible torture to my left nipple. I could smell it more strongly now, the nectar flowing through my nostrils like so much airy wine. My mouth began to water, and the flush once again returned to my face. We were nose to nose, eye to eye, and I stared down into those captivating globes, and saw something I'd never seen before in her eyes, not for me.

I saw lust, pure, unadulterated lust, mixed with the most passionate of hatreds and most deep of loves.

"Get off of me, Neil. So help me God, I'll rip every sensory organ off of your body, starting with this one. " She twisted my tender nipple in response.

And all I could do was lay there, trying to control the inevitable hard-on I could feel approaching. But, if you've ever been in such a position, you know trying to think about not getting a hard-on is the most counter-productive thing you can do.

"No, I actually find myself quite comfortable. You're quite pillowy, I am beginning to notice. Eating more chocolate than you should be lately, Smalls?"

Her eyes narrowed, but I had not mistaken it. Even now, as the verbal abuse began to heat, it was still there.

"Well, it seems I've not grown quite as pillowy as your brain must have if you think I'd let you get away with laying on top of me sporting a hard-on, you little Perv!"

Damn, she'd felt it. Well, I'd thought eight inches mighta been easy to hide in my baggy Khakis, but I guess not. Oh well, not like it isn't something she's never felt-

A spark of pain in a far different area brought me out of my thoughts.

She'd bit me... she'd bit me right on my fucking neck, the Bitch.

"You Bitch! That's gonna leave a fucking mark!"

She sniggered and twisted on my nipple, which had by now become totally numb from the excruciatingly wretched treatment it was receiving. Lefty would never be the same again, I was sure he would be permanently wrenched out of place for the rest of his natural life. Sure, I could poke a hole through him and he was fine, resilient even, but this was Holocaust-level nipple death!

"Hey, don't complain! After all, this is the closest to getting any from anyone that you've come to in the past month, Dick wad!"

She did have a mouth on her, that's for damned sure.

"At least I don't resort to fucking myself instead of my skinny assed, stuck up piece of shit boyfriend! But hell, come to think of it, I'd rather screw him than you any day. "

Okay, so I was lying out of my ass, but I knew how to push her buttons. She reacted just as I'd thought, wiggling and struggling under me, attempting to get her knee in position to ram into my crotch. My stiff cock was poking into her abdomen, and I maneuvered my legs to the side, preventing her from damaging my ability to make an addition to American posterity. I ground my erection into her flat, strong tummy.

"If you were half the man that Andrew was, you would have at least fucking kissed me by now, you shit for brains Poli. Sci. major drama queen son of a bitch!"

And, with that, her lips were over mine, our tongues entwined in a heated battle for dominance.

You cannot imagine how disorienting and incredibly erotic it is to suddenly find yourself in a game of tonsil hockey with a person who was attempting not five seconds earlier to dismember you in the worst way.

She'd always complained (bragged) about having a higher body temperature than everyone else, somewhere in the high 99 range. As her tongue darted in over my lips and I tasted her for the first time, I wondered why everyone wasn't this temperature. She tasted and felt better than anyone, ever. We played over each other's lips and tongues and teeth and gums for what seemed like ages, my throbbing hard-on pulsating with every movement.

My hand moved down over her now re-exposed breast and squeezed lightly, my thumb pressing and rubbing the erect nipple. She broke the kiss, a slight moan escaping her lips as her eyes opened and stared directly into mine. Her mouth moved to my neck and kissed the wound she'd made a few moments before. I shuddered... how did she know I loved this so much? Or was this just something every guy enjoyed as much as I did? My right hand continued to play over her perky tit as my left caressed slowly down her side towards the source of her intoxicating nectar.

Her mouth moved off of my neck and returned to my lips as her hands began unbuttoning my shirt, frantically trying to remove this implement of modesty. She nibbled frantically at my flesh as my fingers roamed nearer and nearer to that mound of succulent sweet that enticed every fiber of me to explore my new found plaything.

That would be the moment that her knee found it's position, and connected with my raging erection, just as her tongue played one last symphony over my neck...

Like I said, one hell of a mouth... fucking bitch...

To be... painfully continued...