Connor Thomas Ch. 04

The greatest thing about my career is I work my own hours. I can work as much or as little as I like. Usually I work seven days a week. Spending four to five days at the tattoo parlor and the other two or three at the bike shop. I do designs for motorcycles and customized helmets. Some days I work at both places. Just depends on how hard I want to push myself. Most of my tats are done by appointment only, though sometimes I take a last minute. Mike, the owner of the motorcycle shop, is flexible with me. They can only make so many bikes at a time anyway. Some days I go by just to hang out or mess around with future projects.

The next day as I work on a bike all I can think about the is Kayla. Analyzing the year we have spent together. I can still remember the day we met. It was at the art supply store. She was there getting something for a college course. Pulling my helmet off I was greeted by her beautiful smile. Slightly shy but definitely curious. I couldn't keep my eyes off her as I went straight to the counter. Her clear blue eyes, blond hair cut above the shoulder. I have a good six inches on her. After talking with Betty, the owner, about my order I turned back to look for the beauty. She was standing right behind me.

"Hi." She said quietly.

"Hi." I answered back. Looking over her attire I figured she was way out of my league. "I'm Connor." Offering a hand as I took in the expensive make of her clothes.

"Kayla." Taking it. Clearly judging my appearance the same way. Dirty boots, faded jeans, leather jacket. Way below her dating pool. "Nice motorcycle."

"Thanks. Did the design myself."

"I'd love to get a better look." At that moment Betty had to interrupt, bringing out my order. I turned my attention away from Kayla and completed my purchase.

"Nice meeting you." I said as I turned to go.

"Maybe you could take me for a ride sometime." Pointing to my helmet.

"Sure."

That's how it happened. I got her number that day and called soon after. I learned on our first date I was going to have to work hard for her. I figured the reward would be worth it. I walked her to her door and leaned in for a kiss. She shut me down politely. Told me she is not that type of girl. I told her I couldn't wait to find out what kind of girl she really was.

I was patient and let her set the pace. We spent a lot of time together in the following months. Movies, museums, I even went to church with her. That is when I met her parents. I realized then that I was in her parents eyes 'a bad boy'. Tattoos, motorcycles, no college. The first meeting was a disaster but her parents warmed to me. Once they got to know me and saw that my appearance isn't necessarily my attitude. I think they were surprised to find out I had a brain underneath the ink. I'm sure my bank roll didn't hurt either.

Now it's a year later and I'm not sure I really want to work so hard for her anymore. To think of all the hoops I have jumped through for her. What has she really done in return? I worked hard to earn the respect of her family and friends. She never really attempted to get to know mine. She came to the first few concerts with me but soon started making excuses. School nights or choir practice. Every so often I managed to talk her into coming but we always ended up leaving early. Although whenever she asked me to accompany her out I was willing.

Do you know how many nights I was dragged out to those stupid dance clubs. Where was my sweet virginal girl those nights. Her and her friends dressed in short skirts and low cut tops. Tits and ass everywhere. Teasing me beyond belief. Kayla was the only one with a boyfriend for a while so they would all take turns dragging me on the dance floor. Kayla said she didn't mind. I didn't really mind either. Having young sexy girls writhing against me.

Her one friend Reece was a huge tease. She knew just what she was doing . Always rubbing her perfect ass into my excitement. Then giving me such a devious grin. The worst part is I got no relief when I dropped her off. Believe me I tried but those nights always ended in argument. I guess I have a lot of fuel for the fire tonight. I'm not longer going to be her puppy. Waiting by the table to be fed.

Kayla and I agreed to meet at a quiet restaurant on the far side of town. I get there a little early and have a drink at the bar to wait for her. When we first started going out she tried to say something about my drinking but I quickly shut that down. I can try to please her to some extent but I will not give up my alcohol. The drugs on the other hand, I don't do around her. I really on smoke herb now and then. I used to do a lot of coke but Mack put a stop to that. He told me if I wanted to keep my job at the tattoo shop I had to lay off. So aside from the occasional slip here and there I stick to booze. The bartender is pouring my second beer when she shows up fifteen minutes late. She gives me a nervous smile and then we are lead to our table. Neither one of us know where to start. We listen to the waiter tell us the specials and after taking Kayla's drink order, he disappears.

"So." She says fidgeting with her menu.

"So." I sit back and look at her.

"I just want to say I'm really sorry about, you know...."

"We covered all that on the phone the other day."

"Oh." She says quietly looking down at her menu. Which is pointless because I can tell you she is going to have the lemon roasted chicken with wild rice and a green vegetable. Asparagus or something.

"What we need to talk about is where we want to go from here."

"I don't see why we can't go back to the way things were." She continues even as I shake my head in the negative. "Things were going good."

"Good? We have been going nowhere for months. It's the same thing every week..." I am cut off when the waiter returns.

Placing Kayla's drink down he takes our orders. She orders exactly what I predicted. I order steak, rare and could care less what comes on the side. Steak and beer, I'm a happy man. With that thought I order another beer and keep them coming. I try to ignore the roll of the eyes I get from Kayla. Then just out of spite I tell him to bring me a double whiskey on the rocks. Her mouth becomes a tight line.

"Where was I? Oh yeah, repetition, repetition, repetition."

"That's not true."

"It's not? What did we do the last few times we went out?"

"We had dinner and watched a movie." She answers slowly. "Okay so maybe we have fallen into a rut but how does that justify you attacking me on Saturday?"

"Attacking?" I lean over the table toward her. "You were responding quite well until I put my mouth on your breast. I didn't know it was hands only because there is somewhere else I would have loved to put my hands." She suddenly turns bright red. The waiter comes up from behind me and places my whiskey and beer on the table, then quickly vanishes.

"This isn't the best conversation to have here."

"You suggested a public place. If it was up to you I don't think we'd ever have this conversation."

"Is that so wrong?" She says quietly.

"If that's what you want. We can just drop it and go our separate ways." Taking a gulp of the whiskey. The hurt is obvious on her face.

"It would be that easy for you?"

"No but I can't deny what I feel anymore. I have been patient, given you time but I can't keep giving without anything in return."

"So this is all about sex?"

"Sex? No. Do you know how many men out there would go this long....." I stop and take a drink off my beer.

"I dated Riley for four years and he never...." She quickly shuts up when she sees the look on my face.

"He never what? Tried to get down your pants? I know that to be a lie. No teenage boy is going to date a girl for that long and not try."

"Just shut up. You don't know."

"I think I know quite well. You didn't put out but you did something. Am I right?" Her blush tells me I am on the right track. "So what you jerked him off a couple times, maybe sucked his...."

"Shut up." She hisses.

"And he still dumped you. Am I right?" I feel like an ass when I see the tears in her eyes.

"Yes he dumped me. Said he couldn't marry me without experiencing life." She wipes at her eyes.

"He meant experiencing women."

"I need to use the restroom." Rising quickly. "Excuse me."

I finish off my whiskey and our food arrives while she is gone. I try to remember how long before we met Riley dumped her. Did I fail to see that I was her rebound. I have never met the guy but what her friends tell me I am his opposite. Described him as a stuck up pretty boy. People usually take my appearance to mean I am a slacker.

"Are you okay?" I ask when she returns.

"I'll be fine."

We eat in silence for a few minutes. I wish I knew what her aversion to intimacy was. Is it just the things that happened between her ex or is it really religious. Plenty of girls remain pure and still enjoy other things. I dated a girl in high school who was a virgin. She loved it when I ate her pussy. She was the girl who taught me about tit fucking. I remember cumming in her face numerous times.

"What are you smiling about?" Kayla brings me back to now.

"Honestly?"

"You can always be honest with me."

"Really?" I ask skeptically. "You remember what happened last time I was completely honest?"

"You call that honestly?" She says a little harshly.

"Yeah. I honestly wanted to do it. You were the one who slapped me in the face and threw me out."

"What's that have to do with you smiling now?" She is clearly irritated.

"Because I was thinking about a virgin I dated in high school and how much she loved it when I ate her pussy." I grin at her.

"Do you have to be so crass? We are in public."

"I know where we are." I take a long pull on my beer. "I want to ask you something and I want the truth. Have you ever had an orgasm?" Her shocked expression tells me no. "Seriously never?" Blushing she shakes her head. "I knew you never let a man touch you but you've never masturbated?" She just glares at me. "What?" Trying to understand how someone could go nineteen years without any type of release.

"You have a filthy mouth and I don't want to discuss this right now."

"So we're back to square one." Shaking my head in frustration.

Not wanting to look at her face right now I turn my attention to my plate. Taking huge bites of steak and washing it down with big gulps of beer. I am purposely eating like a slob. Finishing off my beer I hold up the empty glass until the waiter nods his acknowledgement. Then shove another piece of meat in my mouth and finally meet her eyes. She is looking at me like I have grown another head. I can't help it. I start laughing so hard I almost choke on my food.

"Why are you acting like this?" She is looking around to make sure no one else notices my disgusting table manners.

"If we're not going to discuss the problems with this relationship then why are we here?"

"It seems all you want to do is say nasty things to me?"

"Baby this is the way I always talk. I have toned it down for you but I am done with that. The reason I am laying it all out now is because this is the main problem in our relationship."

"I don't understand." She says seriously. The waiter appears with my fresh beer.

"The lack of intimacy. That is what I'm talking about. No I don't mean sex. I have no problem with the fact that you are a virgin but I do have a problem with lack of affection I get from you."

"I show you plenty of affection."

"You always hold something back. You want to know what I think happened on Saturday night?" Her look tells me to continue. "I think you were really enjoying it and you got scared."

"That's not true."

"I'm not talking about what happened in the bedroom. Let me add was the first time I was ever in your bed, but I am talking about the things before that." I lean across the table and lower my voice. "Can you honestly say that when you felt me against you it didn't turn you on?" She looks down as her cheeks redden. "I thought so."

"So what if I enjoyed it. It's not like we can take it further."

"Why can't we? We're not thirteen anymore. Dry humping my girlfriend on the weekend doesn't do it for me."

"Just because my body responded to you, you think what? I'm going to rip my clothes off and give you my virginity."

"Jesus Christ!" I am exasperated. "This isn't all about intercourse. Do you realize we have never spent the night together?" She opens her mouth to deny it but I don't let her. "The time I passed out drunk on your couch doesn't count. I'm am tired of sleeping alone. Do you know how good it would feel to hold the woman I love? To wake up beside her in the morning." I shake my head again. "Have I ever pushed you to have sex and with that I mean actual penetration?"

"I don't know." She answers quietly.

"What?" I am genuinely shocked. "I have been nothing but understanding with you. I waited what was it like three weeks for the first kiss and that was just a peck. I have never said I want to fuck you. All I have ever said was I want to make you feel good."

"You said more vulgar things that that."

"Yes I said I want to eat your pussy and I do. What's so wrong with that?" She shrugs. "The other night when you touched me. It felt so good. I want to make you feel that good."

"I just don't know."

"Look at me." I demand. Slowly her eyes come up to meet mine. "I will never jeopardize your purity."

"Okay." She says quietly.

"Don't you believe me?"

"I guess so."

"Oh my god." Frustrated, I pick up my beer and down half of it. "What did that asshole do to you?" She is fighting back tears again. "I'm not him. Why can't you see that?"

"I know you're not."

"Then why do you push me away?"

"I don't."

"I can't do this anymore." Slamming my glass down with force. "You have to make up your mind. Do you want to be with me?"

"Of course I do." Her bottom lip trembling.

"Then you are going to have to give me more. I am suffocating over here. I need to feel like you want to be with me. Are you even attracted to me?"

"How can you ask that? You know I am."

"Because I am not sure anymore. Do you know how disgusting you made me feel the other night?" I ask meanly. "The look on your face said you would be happy to never touch me again." I wave the waiter over and ask for the check as she wipes away the stray tears. "I have given you everything I am but that is not what you give back." The waiter returns with the check. I look at it, shove some cash in it and tell him to keep the change. "Give me a call when you decide how much this really means to you. If I was more than just a way for you to get over your ex." I stand up, pull on my jacket and then down the rest of my beer.

"Connor." She grabs my arm. I just stare down at her. "Don't leave like this."

"Get your coat. I'll get you a cab." Slowly she rises and I help her put on her coat. We walk out into the cold night. Before I can hail a cab she stops me.

"I don't want to lose you."

"You haven't yet."

She pulls me down and puts her lips to mine. I am very surprised. She is never one for public displays of affection. I pull back a little breathless and hold out my arm. When the cab stops I climb in with her. I give the driver her address.

"I love you Connor."

My answer is putting my mouth on hers. Our kiss starts out slowly and grows until we are kissing feverishly. I pull her left leg over my lap and run my hand up her thigh. I can feel her body tense so I press my tongue deeper in her mouth. She moans into it as my hand slides up to cup her sex. Her hands grip my shoulders. I run my tongue down her neck and then up to her ear.

"Imagine my warm tongue...." Slipping my middle finger inside her panties. "....right here." Sliding my finger along her slit and pressing against her clit. Tonguing her earlobe in demonstration. She shudders but pushes my hand away.

"We are in a public cab." I hold up my finger. Her eyes grow wide as I suck her juices off of it.

"Delicious." Kissing on her neck again. I take her hand and put in on my growing excitement. "See what you do to me." I purr in her ear before I continue on her neck. My left hand moving up to squeeze her breast, running my thumb over the nipple.

"That'll be $15.00" The cabbie suddenly says. I look up to see we are stopped in front of her apartment. I dig in my pocket for the cash.

"I can't do this tonight Connor." She pleads with me. "Give me a little more time." Untangling herself she climbs out. "I'll call you tomorrow." I just stare at her stupidly.

*******

I am a royal asshole the next day. After she left me in the cab I was pissed. It felt like my rage was trying to tear it's way out of my body. I haven't felt that way since my foster parents died. I went home and actually punched a hole in the wall. Well more like five or six, then drank myself into a coma.

The next morning I run over six miles and still can't tame the feeling. When smoking a bunch of weed doesn't calm it either I decide to lose myself at work. So I go down to Mike's Bikes. The guys, realizing I am in a shitty mood, leave me to my work. I manage to zone out for a little while but my phone won't stop ringing. The last thing I want is to talk to her about last night. She has always been the type to blow my phone up because she knows I am ignoring her.

Finally after I take a blow torch to it Mike drags me into his office. He is a forty year old, blond hair, blue eyed, every woman's fantasy of a man. He also is a take no shit, my way or the highway kind of man. Most of the time he is laid back, do anything to help a friend kind of man.

"I am in an important meeting if anyone calls." Mike tells Rebecca, his daughter. She answers the phones, handles paperwork shit like that. Then he locks the door and takes a seat behind his desk. "Anything you need to talk about?" He asks me, motioning for me to have a seat. I drop down in the chair across from him.

"Nope. Hunkey dorey."

"That's why you just torched your phone?" He questions. He pulls a bottle of Jack Daniels out of his desk. He takes a swig and offers me the bottle.

"You encouraging me to drink on the job?" I joke, taking the bottle.

"You're done for the day. I can't have you working pissed off like this."

"I'm fine." I lie.

"Bullshit. Spare me the I'm fine crap." He lights up a joint. After puffing on it a couple times he passes it to me. "I know you had a date with your girl. I also know you two haven't been getting along."

"You are a nosy mother fucker." Choking on the weed. Sometimes I forget how long I've known Mike. He has been like a big brother to me. Met him like six years ago when I was fifteen and doing the artwork for Russ' garage band.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really." We sit and smoke in silence for a few minutes. "I don't know what I was thinking getting involved with a eighteen year old virgin."

"You were hoping to be the first one to tap that."

"No." Smoking in silence again. "Well maybe" Hitting the joint again. "No that's not true." Mike just laughs.

"I remember what it was like to be your age. I had two priorities. Parties and pussy. You can't tell me you would put in this much time with the girl and not hope to be the first one in those panties."

"It's not like that okay. I would be fine with not getting laid if I was getting something, anything." Looking away somewhat embarrassed.

"Wait a sec." Mike no doubt is surprised. Russ is the only one that really knows about the lack of with Kayla. "You haven't...she hasn't...." Clearly at a loss for words.

"Copping a feel and dry humping is the extent of our whatever you want to call it."

"Wow. I'm sorry man." He reopens the Jack and hands it to me. "I can understand the attitude." I take a deep drink from the bottle. It burns too good.