Consequences - Judith

"Miss, I was told to hand you this envelope when we got here. I got no idea what it is, I'm just following orders. Guy gave me an extra hundred to do it, so I'm doing it. Here."

He handed her a rather thick manila envelope with her name on the outside. It was printed and she recognized Rick's hand, but she couldn't take the time to open it now. She had to get inside to see what was going on. She stood, shifting from leg to leg as she waited for the driver to pull her bag from the trunk. She grabbed it and ran for the house, panicked and feeling sick to her stomach. She was now scared to death. What had happened to her husband, or maybe one of the boys? God, please don't let it be anything serious!

Inside the door, it was as she suspected. There was no one home. The house was quiet, the only lights on were the night light over the stove and the hall light they always left on for the boys if they woke during the night. She checked the downstairs, then ran upstairs and looked in all the rooms: empty. She went into their bedroom, looked around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Just as she was about to turn away, she noticed the door to Rick's closet open. He never left it open! When he did, it blocked the hall so he always closed it. She walked over, turned on the light and pushed the door open further to see that his clothes were gone. She saw that he had taken everything! Rick was gone!

With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she walked slowly into the boys room. They shared a room with twin beds, both now made. She looked around, noticing that their computers were missing, their favorite posters were gone from the wall and the drawers to their dressers were open and empty. They were gone as well!

She ran downstairs to look around for a note, a letter, anything. Then she remembered the manila envelope! Where was it? She ran into the kitchen and saw it laying on the table beside her purse where she had dropped it. She turned on the overhead light and tore it open. Her legs suddenly felt too weak to hold her so she sat down hard on the chair. With a sinking heart, she pulled out an envelope sealed and addressed to her. In addition, there were photographs and a report from a company called Spalding Investigations. Finally, there was a document, several pages long and on the front were the words, 'Decree for Dissolution Of Marriage'.

She screamed. She remembered hearing herself screaming "No! No! No!" over and over. She threw the envelope and all its contents across the kitchen floor, crying and screaming again and again. She put her head down on the kitchen table where she last saw her family and cried. Her broken heart was beating erratically and it was hard to breathe. She gasped for breath between sobs, crying and repeating over and over, "No, please God, no! Not this, please! Give me another chance, please!"

She continued to cry and plead, throwing dishes and glasses or whatever else she could find to destroy just to vent her grief. She kept this up until exhaustion claimed her. She must have finally passed out because the next thing she remembered was the sun coming in the window over the sink and falling directly on her face. It had to be very early since the sun was low in the sky and the morning sun only came in that window for an hour or so.

She pushed herself up from the chair she had slept in and shuffled through the debris to pick up the contents of the envelope where it had come to rest after she threw it. She pulled the pictures and the pages together and walked back to the table to sit down. It was all she could do to make herself move and she felt cold, so very cold. As she laid the materials in front of her the pictures were the first thing she saw. There was one of her sitting on Wes's lap, her skirt up around her waist as she rode him, her face thrown back and her eyes closed. There was one of him fucking her missionary style on the couch and another one with him on his knees, his face buried between her legs. As she looked at that one, her stomach finally revolted and she had to rush to the sink. She stood there until the spasms passed, rinsed her mouth and face with cool water, then went back to her chair.

She pushed the remaining pictures aside, not wanting to see any more, then pulled out the report, opened the folder and scanned the first few pages. Just more boring stuff: times, dates, references to some of the pictures, fully documenting her infidelity. That's all. She laid it down, not caring to read any more. She looked at the thick, legal looking document and knew she should read the conditions of the divorce filing but didn't have the energy. Somehow, she knew they would be more than fair and that was more than she could take. Anyway, the tears were making it hard to read anything.

She somehow thought there should be more to signal the end of fifteen years of marriage. This seemed so insignificant to represent all those years. That reminded her of the envelope. With a small kernel of hope still alive, she grabbed that and tore it open, finding a few pages inside in Rick's handwriting. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, took the first page and began reading.

Judith,

By now, you know that the boys and I are gone. I only took our clothes, some of their more important things and my stuff from the den. I have a small two bedroom apartment for the three of us for the time being. It should serve at least until we settle all of our affairs. Bad choice of words, please forgive me. Divide our assets I should have said.

I've known about your affair with Wes Southern for some time. Want to know how I found out? Well, I'll tell you. I came to your office one evening after you called to say you had to work late. The boys thought you might enjoy a milkshake, so we stopped and I got an extra one for you. The boys stayed in the car while I walked up to your office. Pete, the guard let me in when I showed him the milkshake. As I got close, I heard you making those sounds I loved to hear when you were excited. I snuck up to the door and looked in to see you fucking Wes on the couch in your office. Thank God the boys had stayed behind in the car! I didn't really enjoy watching so I left, taking the milkshake with me. The boys and I went home and watched TV till you got there. That was the night I told you I had a bad headache. You probably don't remember.

She did remember. It was ironic in that that was the very first time she and Wes had sex. She was so consumed with guilt, she wondered how she was going to face him, but as soon as she walked in the door, he told her how sick he was and she was so relieved that she didn't have to talk to him or face him. She remembered saying a small prayer of thanks. She continued reading.

I hired a private investigator and that's his report you have now. He was a very nice man and was very apologetic when he gave me the final report. You see, we were both hoping this was only a one time thing, a mistake, a weakness. It wasn't as you well know. He only needed a few weeks to be sure. He somehow installed a camera in your office when I copied your office key, the one you keep on your key ring. He said it made it easy for him. I have to admit, you really got into it with good old Wes. You looked very sexy but I couldn't look at many of the pictures. It was just too hard. I'm sorry.

When you told me of the trip, and you were so excited, I agreed, knowing I would use the time to move our stuff out without you knowing. At the time I didn't really know why you wanted so badly to go, but I made a couple of calls to your office and found out that Wes was going with you. That was one of your lies: you told me it was you and a couple of others but actually it was just you and Wes. I bet you had a really good time with him there. No worries about getting caught and you could really go to town with a real bed. But hell, you seemed to do just fine with a couch, and in one picture, your office chair.

I don't know why you would chose to do this to us Judith. You cheated on me and the boys. Yes, the boys as well. You fouled the home we made for ourselves by your actions, your deceit. I could have forgiven a mistake, a failing. I would have forgiven that. We all have those, but this was not a failing. This was a planned betrayal of your promises to me and you did it deliberately. When I promised to love, honor and cherish, I meant it. Apparently you didn't.

My lawyer will contact you tomorrow. I hope we can work out the visitation and the custody without fighting. You love the boys, I know, and should be the primary care giver, even though you are going to break their hearts. Maybe not now, but when they're older and they understand what you did. I intend to let you keep the house so the boys will not have to move to some strange place.

After seeing the pictures, seeing what you did with him, my love for you died. You and I have nothing more to talk about so I won't be contacting you directly. I hope it was worth it to you Judith, and I'm sorry all we shared wasn't enough for you.

Rick

Now she knew why she had those little chills of fear, that grabbing and pinching in her gut, the shivers even though the day was warm. They were a premonition! It was her conscience trying to warn her, get her attention. Somehow it knew. She should have listened, but now it was too late. Rick was gone and he wasn't coming back. She had thrown it all away. And for what?

She remembered the thoughts that came to her as she was getting ready for this last trip: 'There was no possible way things could be any better than they were. I was blessed; I had it all.' But she never once thought of the consequences of her actions.

Consequences are a bitch!