Couples Counseling - Ch. 01

"So this was the start of a big change. How did that happen?"

"It was me who initiated it. I picked a good time. Claire was out of town again and Gary and I planned to watch a baseball game. We both knew that there'd be more action on the couch than on the baseball diamond. That was a given."

"When Gary gave me the look that was always an invitation for us to play our own game, I surprised him. I told him I had a better idea. He said that he doubted it and I invited him to follow me to the bedroom."

"On the nightstand, in clear view, was a condom. I watched Gary's eyes go to it and said to him, 'What do you think? A better idea?'"

"Gary didn't respond immediately and I was worried that I'd made a mistake. Soon, though, I realized he hesitated only because he was a bit flustered. He made it clear that he was up for trying out my plan."

"It's sounding more like you were gay lovers, isn't it?"

"I guess so, to a lot of people. But I didn't think of it that way."

"Well, anyway, that was your first time having anal sex with Gary?"

"With anyone!"

"Of course," Dr. Kim quickly added. "And how did that go?"

"It was the beginning of the wrong turn in our relationship, I guess. I don't know why. The sex itself was fine. I found it surprisingly satisfying."

"Go on."

"It didn't hurt when he entered me. I was well lubed up and the toying I'd done over the months had made me very able to take Gary's cock. It felt very different from toying: I wasn't in control of it all. But I especially liked that part of it."

"The fucking itself was wonderful. I didn't cum just from getting fucked, or anything like that that you read about or see in gay porn. In fact most of the time I wasn't even hard. Still, when Gary exploded in my ass, I felt the sort of satisfaction and release of tension that accompanies an orgasm."

"So, what do you think went wrong?"

"I don't know." And I really didn't. That's why I'd finally decided to come to Dr. Kim who was supposed to be one of the best couples sex therapists in the city, though I'd heard that she sometimes used "unconventional methods." I didn't care about what was conventional; I just wanted something to work.

"From the very first time, something was different. Gary couldn't wait to get out of the house that night and he couldn't bear to talk to me, or even to look at me on his way out."

"After he left, I felt weird, uncomfortable. I tried to masturbate, as I usually did after he'd left - always to thoughts of what we'd done before he left. Now those thoughts just caused me concern."

"What did you feel had changed - not just that night but over the coming months?" Dr. Kim prompted.

"Well, his desire to see me certainly didn't change. He still came over, sometimes in a planned visit, sometimes impromptu. And he often wanted more than the quick blow job. He seemed to like fucking my ass, which was fine with me because I liked it too. He just didn't seem to like me afterwards."

"Really, he seemed to like me less all the time then. I sometimes think I went from being a "friend with benefits" that he valued, to a cum whore that disgusted him even though - or maybe because - he still desired me."

"Over the months since we began having anal sex, he's increasingly treated me with less respect. Sometimes when he's fucking my ass, he seems to be trying to hurt me, and certainly to be incredibly dominant and controlling."

"And you don't like that?"

"Like I said earlier, Gary is a dominant personality. I didn't mind that. And I kind of liked it when he took control sexually. But he'd gotten more than controlling. It was like every fuck was an angry fuck. He was not only trying to prove his dominance; he was trying to humiliate and demean me."

"Okay, Rick," Dr. Kim said calmly. We were nearing the end of our time together and Dr. Kim was clearly drawing things to a close. "I think I have the picture now. And I have some ideas about how to proceed - how to set things right if it's possible to do so."

She could see how my face brightened.

"Don't get too hopeful, Rick. I'm not sure things can be fixed. It will depend on a few things, beginning with whether you think you can get Gary to come and talk with me."

"I don't know ..." I was obviously uncomfortable. "He doesn't know I came to you and I don't think he'd be much for seeing a shrink."

"I'm not a psychiatrist, Rick."

"I know, I know. But Gary will think of you that way."

"Well, we don't have to meet in my office. I'm not going to have a session with him. We can meet over coffee somewhere. I just need to get a bead on him to know if I'm right."

"But what do I tell him to get him to meet with you?"

"Tell him the truth. Tell him that you've been having some problems dealing with your relationship with him and you came to me to talk about then. Tell him I just want to meet him and chat with him."

"And if he won't meet with you?"

"If he draws a line in the sand, hint - or tell him outright - that you don't think you can keep seeing him unless you get some things figured out and that requires him to meet with me just to talk for 15 minutes over a cup of coffee. If I have a sense of him at all, he'll agree. Whether he's looking at you now as a "friend with benefits" or a - how did you describe it? - a "cum whore," I don't think he wants to take a chance on the relationship ending."

I agreed to try, though I was less confident than Dr. Kim that Gary would agree.

[To be continued ...]