Cryin' in the Rain

But the most important thing that Sarah taught Jimmy was that he simply couldn't abide any major differences between himself and Dylan. As soon as he realized that Dylan was still a virgin, it started to nag at him.

He quickly rectified the situation in a way that was as brilliant as it was bizarre. In fact, it wouldn't have worked for any other two men I can think of. Jimmy convinced or more accurately told Sarah to have sex with Dylan, no matter what it took. And it took a lot. Dylan had a completely different view of women. Dylan tended to put women on a pedestal. But Sarah, persisted and they had sex.

Jimmy, was probably happier about it than Dylan was. It worked for Jimmy in two ways. He had gotten bored with Sarah and was already cheating on her, but he needed her. Sarah was a pretty girl. She could have had almost any guy she wanted.

Jimmy needed to keep her busy, while he did what he did. So Jimmy would typically pick Sarah up after her last class and take her back to his dorm. He'd start rubbing her up and getting her excited and getting himself excited too. Then Dylan would get home, and Jimmy would whisper, "Next time," to Sarah.

Sarah was, as mentioned, really pretty, but she wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. Jimmy, as any good boyfriend should, would get Dylan to help Sarah with her homework or studying in some area. While they studied, he'd go out to party and screw other women.

The plan worked even better than Jimmy had hoped. Towards the end, Jimmy was sure that Sarah had feelings for Dylan too. Jimmy didn't find out until the end that Dylan hadn't been sleeping with Sarah regularly. Dylan wasn't the type to try to take anything away from his brother. But Sarah and Dylan had very strong feelings for each other. In Jimmy's mind, it was perfect. Sarah was Jimmy's girlfriend in public, but she slept with both of them. They shared her like they did everything else.

To Jimmy, it was perfect. It was the best possible geometric figure, the triangle. Jimmy got a public girlfriend, that didn't make any demands upon his time. And he got the ability to go out and screw other women whenever he wanted. He could also screw her whenever he felt like it.

Sarah got the status of being Jimmy's girl. Since both Jimmy and Dylan were on the football team that gave her a place in the school's social hierarchy that no matter how pretty she was she couldn't have gotten on her own. She also got to spend time with Dylan, who treated her the way she believed that she deserved. He was kind; he was compassionate, and he was always surprising her with little gifts and going places that she wanted to go. She had also loved having sex with Dylan, which didn't bother Jimmy at all. He had expected for them to continue and was surprised when he discovered they hadn't.

Lastly, it worked out for Dylan. Dylan, as Jimmy had expected, fallen for Sarah really hard. Having Sarah around made him happy and gave him someone to spend time with. It was a perfect situation for all of them. Or it would have been if Dylan had been able to get with the program and screw Sarah occasionally.

Dylan's inability to take anything from Jimmy or go behind his back was what ruined the whole thing. If Dylan had simply done what he wanted and had sex with Sarah, both of them would have been more fulfilled, and no one would have rocked the boat. If and when Sarah discovered Jimmy's other women, she wouldn't have minded because she'd have Dylan.

And that was why this time Jimmy had decided to do it the opposite way. Dylan and I were married. We could stay married. Jimmy would move in with us. When the time was right Dylan and Jimmy would start their business, and everything would be right with the world. The only difference in my life would be that I would be with both of them instead of just Dylan.

Of course on the surface, I would be Dylan's wife, but I would occasionally have sex with Jimmy too. They would share me like they shared everything else. Jimmy reminded me though that after a while, he would probably move on to other women, but that he and I would still get together occasionally.

He did predict that Dylan would be upset at first. But he told me that it was only because they had been apart for five years. It would take a while for Dylan to get used to having Jimmy around again. He also reminded me of something else. Dylan had loved Sarah. Even months after she left, when Jimmy met me, Dylan was still carrying a torch for her. But in the end, Dylan had stayed with Jimmy. Both of them would always pick each other over any woman. I guess that was Jimmy's way of telling me that I either chose both or neither. I either got everything or nothing. That was all it took for me to go along with the plan.

He also told me that he had nothing but regret about leaving me when I was pregnant with his child. But his leaving had nothing to do with us. He was still getting used to the fact that his football career was gone. He hated going to class, and school wasn't his thing. But he had to try to do it, so he could pull his weight when he and Dylan went into business. As hard as he tried, he couldn't force himself to study and his grades were horrible. He was looking at another four years in school. He had literally wasted his entire time in college.

There was also the fact that his parents hadn't had to pay for his schooling the first time around. Both he and Dylan were there on football scholarships. Dylan's grades were good enough that the school let him keep his scholarship. They were hoping that he would change his mind and rejoin the team. His internship with an automotive manufacturer also helped. Dylan did so well that the company underwrote part of his tuition and expenses. He even went to work for them after graduating.

Jimmy didn't have any of those advantages. The pressure on him was terrible. It was as if his entire life had changed overnight. Everything he had counted on and hoped for had been taken from him and replaced with immense pressure to do things that he had no interest in or skill at. Throwing a child and the responsibilities of parenthood that came with it on top of his already over-loaded shoulders was just too much. He had bolted to save his own sanity. He'd known that I wouldn't be alone. He had always known that Dylan would step in and act in his stead. And things had worked out even better than he had expected.

I felt guilty about what we had done. And it wasn't just because the sex wasn't as good. I knew, deep down in my heart that I had hurt Dylan. No matter what Jimmy had told me, I knew that I had hurt Dylan. I told Jimmy that we needed to tell Dylan and ask him to forgive us. He just laughed at me and told me that as soon as Dylan walked into the house and looked at either one of us, he would know. He told me that Dylan would be pissed off and would probably go off and sulk. Then he would think about things, and he would want to talk about it.

In the end, Jimmy assured me that things would be fine. And mentally, I liked the idea too. Together, they were the perfect husband; Dylan's compassionate, near worship, combined with Jimmy's excitement and decisiveness, plus Dylan's bigger dick and ability to give me orgasms, combined with Jimmy's hardcore fucking. It would be awesome.

"So what the fuck did he say," asked Jimmy loudly. His voice snapped me out of my thoughts and back to the present.

"He said he's divorcing me, and that he's accepted a transfer to a plant in another state," I said.

"You are fucking kidding, right," he said. I shook my head.

"That would be bad for you," he said. "How long have you two been married?"

"About five years," I said.

"Shit, you two didn't waste much time," he said. "What did he do, propose to you as soon as I left?"

"We got married about a year after you ran out on me," I spat.

"That isn't going to do you any good," he said. "You aren't going to get much if this divorce happens. You'll probably get twenty percent of his salary for a year, maybe two. Dylan makes about sixty K, right?"

"Eighty," I said.

"So you're gonna get about sixteen thou a year," he said. "We can't live off of that. And knowing Dylan. He'll get a loan and pay you a lump sum. Wait a minute how much equity do you two have in this place?"

"About twenty thousand," I said.

"Can you afford the mortgage?" he asked.

After thinking about it, "Probably not," I said. "If I could get enough hours at work to go back to full-time and even swing some over time, I could maybe pay the mortgage, but I wouldn't be able to pay the other bills or even buy food."

"I think Dylan is probably going to just sign over the mortgage to you and give you six grand in cash. If you sell the house and move into something you can afford, you'd end up with a nest egg of twenty six grand and half of your checking and savings accounts or whatever's left of them once you pay your bills off," he said. "We'd be okay for a while. But the cost of finding and moving into a new place would eat into that heavily."

"If you got a job too, we'd be okay," I said.

"Gretchen, are you high?" he asked. "I don't want a relationship with you. You're not my type. I've already told you how things need to work. You either get us both, or you get neither. We need to block this divorce. And you should also know that I am not the marrying type."

For the next couple of weeks, Jimmy came up with plan after plan to get Dylan to sit down and talk to either us or him. None of them worked. We tried calling, but he had blocked our numbers. His secretary refused to accept calls from me, or Jimmy and wouldn't take messages either.

We tried showing up at the plant he worked at. However, after the first time he'd had the guards remove us from the lot, we were unable to wait by his car anymore.

That day proved interesting to me. As soon as Jimmy had gotten a look at Dylan's car, he had fallen in love with it. "I love this car," he'd gushed. "I can't wait to drive it."

"It's never going to happen," I said. "The only thing Dylan loves more than that Mustang is... was... me. He's never let anyone drive it."

"Well, you can bet your ass that doesn't include me," he smirked. "Watch!"

Over the time that we had been scheming, I had begun to notice a few things. Jimmy and I could barely stand each other. I wondered how and why Dylan had put up with him for so many years. He took, not borrowed; he took my car every night to go out. He told me he was out looking for Dylan. I guess he thought that I was stupid. He came back smelling like liquor and sex and had no idea that I knew what he'd been doing.

He even had the balls to ask me for money. I could tell the nights that he hadn't gotten lucky. On those nights, he wanted to fuck me. He was really romantic about it too.

"Come on we've already done it," he said. "Dylan can't be any more pissed at you than he already is. And your only chance to get back with him is through me."

He fucked me like I was some sort of whore. He just slammed it in and kept slamming until he came. Then he got up grabbed a beer from the fridge and watched TV until he fell asleep.

My father, my mother, and my sister had all flown into town to try to help me regain my sanity. Jimmy actually hid whenever my family was around. He actually had the gall to talk about my family after they were gone.

"Your mother is an older, dried-up version of you," he said.

"Dylan, loves my mom," I spat.

"Dylan probably loves seeing what you're going to look like when you're older and have at least SOME tits," he said. "But your sister is a hottie. She has nice hair, not that curly mess you got. And her skin is clear. She even has a nice little body. I might have to spend some time with her. How the hell does the younger sister get the boobs and butt?"

"My father would shoot you if you even spoke to her," I said. "He keeps hoping to catch you here. That's why he never calls before he comes by."

"How the hell did he even know I was back?" he asked.

"Dylan told him, they get along great," I smiled remembering all of our holidays together as one huge family. Even Jimmy's parents came to some of them.

"None of this shit is working," he spat. "We're gonna have to gamble."

"I'm not giving you any of my money for gambling," I spat.

"What I meant was that we're gonna have to take a risk to get to talk to him," he said.

I was desperate. I had nothing left to lose. I had spoken to Dylan's mom the day before hoping that she would help me arrange to talk to him. We had ended up talking for more than a half-hour and, she had told me that no matter what happened, I needed to stay out of the middle.

"If you try to come between the two of them, you'll lose," she told me. "They rarely argue. But when they do they eventually talk and whatever they were fighting over is eliminated. If they can't share it, they just throw it away. Either both of them have it or neither of them wants it." It sounded just like what Jimmy had told me, and my heart thudded in my chest.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked Jimmy.

"He wants to serve you the divorce papers before he leaves town," he said. "So far they haven't been able to find you. Even when they come here, I answer the door. Why don't you call that shitty secretary of his and tell her that if he brings them himself and talks to you for ten minutes, he can give you the papers and get the divorce started."

"But I don't want a divorce," I said.

"And I don't want to be tied to a titless fire-crotch, but life is tough, and sometimes we don't have choices," he said. I went down the street to a store that had a pay phone. I called Dylan's office. As soon as she heard my voice, Dylan's secretary started her usual routine about how he didn't want to talk to me and didn't want any messages.

"Dylan will be really upset if you don't give him this message," I said.

"What's the message?" she asked.

"Tell him that if he sits down with me for only ten minutes. I just want to let him know how sorry I am about the way things ended and work out a few financial details to keep us out of court. If he does that, he can serve the divorce papers, and we can get this useless process started," I said.

"My judgment is really suspect when it comes to making decisions," she said. "But I'm gonna tell him."

"Dylan always told me you were a great assistant," I told her. "What makes you think you have bad judgment?"

"I liked YOU didn't I? That clearly shows a lack of judgment." she said and then hung up.

* * * * * *

Dylan

So here I am walking towards doom. My goal is simply to walk in and handle this as calmly as possible. No histrionics, no emotions, and no hysteria. I listen to what Gretchen has to say and then hand her the papers that will end our marriage. Bernie told me that she misses me, and that she's been miserable since I walked out. I can't help thinking that somehow Jimmy brainwashed her into doing what she did. However, that's probably just a dream. What do they say? A dream is a wish your heart makes. Maybe my dream was just to go back to before Jimmy showed back up.

God I thought I loved her. Maybe I did love her. However, I was only fooling myself. She was never mine. I just stepped in and took Jimmy's place until he came back to claim what was his. So maybe the papers I hold in my hands, the papers that will end my marriage and break my heart more completely than it has ever been broken before are only my way out of this. Time for the show to begin.

The door opens before I knock. Bernie wanted to come with me. I guess he thought that he could help to tame his out of control daughter. But she asked for ten minutes to talk to me. I intend to hold up my end of the deal. I guess my last memory of my marriage will be finding out what Jimmy offered her that I couldn't.

"Dylan, I've missed you so much... I love you so much... I don't want a divorce. I know what I said, but I'm not signing those fucking papers... Not ever! We're going to be married until the day we die." The words all gushed out of her at once. It was as if she was trying so hard to convince me that she wasn't even thinking she was just letting everything inside of her out.

"Exactly!" he said. "Bro, you totally over reacted." He stepped out of the kitchen, even as I turned to look at her.

"You... You said that you wanted to talk!" I glared angrily at Gretchen.

"I'm sorry," she wailed.

"Dylan, listen to me," he said. "She had no choice. I told her to do it. I needed to get you here so we could talk. You are completely out of control over nothing. Okay, I fucked her. Big deal. You owed me one anyway. I let you fuck Sarah didn't I? Shit, I arranged it so you had plenty of time to fuck her as much as you wanted. It's not my fault that you didn't take advantage of it." He was saying all of the things that he thought made sense.

"Dill, we've always shared everything," he continued. "How the fuck was I supposed to know that you had feelings for this one? If it bothers you that much I won't fuck her anymore. She isn't that good anyway. And you know she isn't my type. No tits and those fucking freckles. How the hell can you stand to look at her?"

I was too angry to talk. I was counting in my head. I was doing math. I was trying to calculate vectors for points. I was trying to do anything other than listen to his bullshit. The thing I was doing the most though was trying to figure out how I ever called this lump of shit my brother.

"Dylan, you have to snap out of this funk you're in," he droned on. "Remember the rules. Bros before hoes. Is little red here really more important to you than we are? She's just pussy. I have never once put some chick ahead of you. You wanted Sarah, and I gave her to you. And I didn't want to own this one; I just wanted to share her with you. The three of us could have something really special. It could be better than what we tried with Sarah and this time we'd all know about it."

That was when I hit him. Unlike the first time, I didn't stop. His eyes widened in surprise, and then he fell.

"What the fuck, Dill?" he blurted out. He tried to get to his feet. I pushed him back down again and straddled him. He reached up for me, and I punched him again and again and again until he just stopped resisting. Then I continued to punch him.

Gretchen dove on me and dragged me off of him. I was sure that she wanted to protect him. Even after all of the terrible things he'd said about her. Even with his utter contempt for her, she was still under his spell. Fuck her. Fuck them both. They deserved each other.

There was blood all over my hands, and Jimmy was unconscious. Gretchen looked at me as if seeing me for the first time.

"I can see that you've made your choice," I spat. "As usual, usual you chose him over me. Fuck you both. You two deserve each other. Just sign those papers, so I can get the fuck out of here."

"No Dylan, you don't get it," she screamed.

"Just sign the papers and I'm gone," I said.

"No, you have to stay," she screamed. "Just help me get him..."

"He can fuckin' die for all I care," I said. "Gretchen papers or not, I'm leaving. I will never set eyes on either one of you again."

I turned and walked out of the house. I was angrier than I had ever been in my life. It wasn't me. It was her. I had once over heard her sister describing Gretchen. She said Gretchen had a fixation with bad-boy types. Well, she had her bad boy now. They deserved each other.

As I walked back to my car, a thousand thoughts went through my mind. This wasn't the way this was supposed to end. In every movie I had ever seen, it never ended like this.

In some movies, the strongest guy got the girl. In others, it was the fastest, or the best fighter, or the smartest. In a very few movies, the nice guy even got the girl. Well, I was all of those. I was the strongest and the smartest and the best fighter. I was the one who loved her and told her that. I was the nicest. I was the one who's picked up the shattered pieces of her broken heart, and none of it meant a damn.