Curiosity

I love my husband and our children. I've been a good mother, wife and lover for most of my fifteen years of marriage. I've liked males more than females all my life. I was a tomboy as a kid, and, when I reached dating age, girls seemed petty, cliquish, untrustworthy and shallow. Of course I had girlfriends in high school and college, but I always preferred the company of the boys. I learned early that my dates wanted sex. My Catholic school upbringing had prepared me to take firm control of those situations. I enjoyed making out and all that, but I didn't allow touching of my breasts or pussy. I had to fight hard to keep things under control.

My Dad never let me go out with the same date on consecutive nights. But by my senior year I was violating that rule behind his back. I dated my first serious boyfriend that year. He was a college kid and my father thought he was too old for me. He was right. We french kissed for hours on every date. He was the first to get his hands on my breasts. Then I discovered how much I really liked boys. He finally managed to unbutton my blouse (this first occurred after many dates); then within a week or two he successfully moved to the next step of slipping his fingers inside my bra. He caressed my nipples. It was so delicious I couldn't stop him. I could feel the exciting sensations in my pussy. I orgasmed that night. I felt certain I was in love with him.

He took me to a swimming and ski party at a nearby lake one afternoon. By late afternoon we were still lying near the bank after everyone had left. There were still some boats on the lake. I was wearing a very conservative two piece bathing suit. It was not a bikini, which my Dad would never allow. The french kissing and petting got serious. I tried to protest but he managed to remove my top. His caresses excited meas he cupped my breasts boldly. He squeezed my nibbles bringing urgent sensations that soaked my pussy. He attempted for the first time to slip his hand below my waist under my bathing suit. I grapped his wrist but his fingers reached into the hair of my pussy. An alarm went off in my brain...the warning of the nuns at my school: PREGNANCY!!!!!

I held his wrist firmly and hissed in anger, "NO. Stop it!" For an instant I felt the tip of one of his fingers touch my clitoris and pure pleasure erupted between my legs. It scared me to death and I struggled to pull away. He began apologizing profusely. He calmed me down. I knew I had disappointed him but I wasn't ready for anything that serious. I felt like the inexperienced high school girl with the big college guy. We resumed our kissing. My top was still off and his hands on my breasts. Then he moved my hand onto the lap of his bathing suit. His penis was stiff. I squeezed him and felt the outline of his penis.

He showed me how to move my fingers up and down the length of his shaft. We lay there petting...my breasts and his penis... as the sun dropped. Then, in one quick unexpected move, he lowered the front of his bathing suit, placing my hand on the flesh of his dick. Other than my Dad emerging from a bath, it was the first penis I ever saw and the first I ever touched. He taught me to masturbate him. I was so curious that I watched everything we did. His cock was so big that I couldn't imagine having sex with it. Truthfully I loved it. The head was large like a German army helmet or a massive mushroom. I learned quickly that the fluid from its tip was slick and he loved me massaging him with this lubrication. I masturbated him to a huge explosion, large bullets of his semen jetting out of him, and we were both covered with his sperm. We laughed and laughed. We dressed, took a swim to clean up, and I went home a far better educated girl.

After that first introduction to his penis, I masturbated him on every date. I loved to make him shoot sperm. Without him knowing it, I tasted his warm sperm and even rubbed some into my pussy. I was just curious. Masturbation was the best way to cool him off and to keep him out of the regions below my waist. We broke up before graduation; my father imposed a new rule: no dates with college kids. Ofcourse I was off to college the next year. That summer I worked at a day camp and briefly dated one of the counselars. I masturbated him too. Several times. And I tasted his sperm too and I rubbed it inside my pussy without him knowing it. It just felt so wild to do it.

Here is the truth. I loved these sexual escapades and thereafter, as soon as a boyfriend (it would always take many dates for things to go this far)went for my pussy, I stopped him by going for his penis to satisfy him. This always worked as a good compromise. I kept my virginity and my date would get his hand-job. I have always loved to examine and to stimulate a dick. To this day, I find it enormously erotic to witness a penis ejaculate sperm and to taste and swallow it.

You, the reader, may have surmised that I am not the Mr. Max Grayson who normally is writing these letters. I accidentally discovered the horrendous letters he has been writing about me. They are not true...at least mostly not true. It will be a shock for him when he discovers this letter and the truth I am sharing with you.

I still had a lot to learn in college about sex. But my sex ed was interrupted when I met the young man who is now my husband. My virginity was in tact but barely. Previously, I had gotten too drunk and almost fucked a boyfriend (whom I dated for six months my freshman year). I guess its true that he sort of half fucked me. He was not a very nice person though we had a lot of fun. He made bets in the frat house that he would fuck me before the spring formal. I drank too much at a fraternity party and he maneuvered me to his apartment afterward where we spent the night. I am guilty of allowing him to remove all of my clothing except my silk panties. We had gone this far numerous times; we would make-out for hours and, after he succeeded the first time in getting my blouse and skirt off, it became easier and easier for him each time.

Yes, I masturbated him to a climax many times. Yes, I admit I loved to fondle him and to be fondled. I tasted his sperm without him knowing it and began to think about sucking his cock. I liked sex then, and I still like sex. He had a very handsome cock (the largest I had encountered at that time...maybe 7 inches)that would climax many times in a night. But with him, masturbation was not enough, even though he had full access to sucking my breasts (he was the first) and he managed numerous times to finger-fuck my pussy to a climax (again, he was the first).

And what earth-shaking climaxes they were. We even masturbated each other simultaneously.

On our last date,he stripped me nude except for my panties. I was drunk and in a wild mood. His hands were all over me, he sucked my breasts and fucked me with his fingers. I admit I was tempted terribly to fuck him. He spread my legs and told me he had two fingers in me to the knuckles. It excited me. I lifted my hips and fucked his fingers as hard as I could. His thumb masturbated my clitoris.

My pussy felt so full and on fire. I could hear wet sounds as he fingerfucked me deep and hard. "Put four fingers in me, if you can. Fill me," I urged him.

"I need room to do that," he answered as he began pulling off my panties. He pulled them below my knees before I stopped him. He spread my knees wide open, causing my panties to descend closer mto my ankles. I felt more fingers enter me and fuck me furiously. "That's four fingers in you!"

"Put your hand in." I begged. "I want more." His thumb left my clit and he fucked me with all five fingers. Then his tongue was sucking my clit and I knew I was going to be fucked. No one had ever licked or sucked my pussy. He sucked and licked my clitoris, then his tongue fucked deep inside me until I climaxed. But more furius climaxes lay ahead.

Then he kneldt between my legs. He put my ankles on his shoulders so my pussy was fully exposed to his penis despite my panties that still dangled just below my knees. I felt his cock spreading my pussy lips and entering me. I surrendered my pussy to him to fuck, but only for one deep thrust that filled me beyond my wildest dreams. I wanted his cock deep and hard all night long but I fought the desire. One deep gut wrenching womb-busting thrust to the hilt, his sword buried in me as deep as it would go, was all that I allowed him. He felt two feet long inside of me, seemingly entering my throat from below. From my drunken fog, I pushed away and pulled my panties up. I reached for his penis and tried to masturbate him to satisfaction but he wanted my pussy. I thought for an instant about giving him my ass to fuck,- anything to keep out of my pussy. Then I moved my lips to his cock. I had never sucked a cock before and he lay back and exhaled as my mouth engulfed his huge erection.

I admit I wanted badly to be fucked for the first time. But I had always wanted to suck a penis but never before had the nerve. I loved sperm but had never had a hot load in my mouth...only those small tastes of sperm licked from my fingers. My right hand cupped his tight balls and my wet eager mouth fucked him at least as well as any pussy could. My lips and mouth lost their virginity to his driving cock. I could taste a growing quantity of sperm in my mouth and realized he was near a full explosion. I lifted my mouth so my hands could masturbate the soaked rim of his cockhead, my lips sucking on the soft cockhead itself. The explosion ripped his genitals and heavy loads of sperm filled my mouth. Such sexual excitement I had never before experienced. I swallowed to make room in my mouth for more, then plunged my mouth over him to suck on the entire shaft from its base slowly up to the rim, licking his full length then sucking stongly on the soft cap. His final spurts of sperm entered my mouth and I concentrated on enjoying the salty erotic taste. My fingers were full of his sperm too. I finger fucked myself with it, rubbed it inside of me, then masturbated its slickness on my clitoris.

We lay quiet in recovery from our exhaustion. I must have fallen asleep. When I awoke he had spread my legs and was mounting me, his body between my legs. He pressed his cock against my silk covered pussy, frustrating him. My panties served as a sort of prophylactic as his cock penetrated me; he fucked my panties into me so that I felt his penis penetrate me an inch or two, maybe more. But I stopped him. Yes, he ejaculated all over my panties and inside of me. And his sperm soaked my pussy. But he never truly fucked me, freely thrusting in and out as deep as he could go with his full mighty length until climax and ejaculation. I prevented this from happening. Too bad. It probably would have been the most exciting and memorable fuck of my life.

Instead,my virginity was eventually given a couple of years later to the college student who would become my husband. He was far too much the gentleman to ever give me the kind of thourough and devastating fuck I could have gotten from that "not very nice boy" who bet his frat brothers he would fuck me. I wish I had given him full fucking rights that night and split his winnings with him. But at least I sucked his cock, got eaten to a climax, received one true thrust to the hilt of his cock into my vagina, swallowed his sperm, got thoroughly finger fucked, and had his cock halfway in me with his sperm soaking me inside and out. My pussy had never had such a great time. But in those days I was scandalized by my behavior and told no one (though he blabbed it all over the fraternity house).

The honor of my first full fuck was given to my husband-to-be several months before our wedding.

And I did not tease my future husband about my sexual past(as he accused me of doing in his version of these events). That teasing came years later after our marriage when he became so jealous of the attention I received from other men. My husband is not the wimp some readers have called him after reading his letters. I have seen him in a fight (protecting a friend at a party). Believe me, he can take care of himself. But he is not going to beat up some guy for an affair that I consented to. I have hurt him by infidelity. But he loves me. We patched it up. And, besides, it was at least partially his fault.

When I finally spread my legs and allowed my husband-to-be to fuck me to his heart's content (actually, I remained unsatiated even after he fucked me 3 times that night when I lost my virginity), it was a very liberating moment in my life. Though I feel good about saving myself for the man I love, I love sex enough to wish I had let my old fraternity boyfriend win his bet. He loved sex almost as much as I do, and a lot more than my husband does.

My husband is very successful in politics. He is out of town a lot. Somewhere along the line he committed adultery a few times, but I never knew until much later. I am a good looking, sexy woman. That's an honest statement, not a boast. I have long black hair, very nice breasts and my legs and slim hips are my best assets. Men are attracted to me, and this continued after our marriage. I enjoy talking with men; perhaps this makes me seem available. I wish I had a dime for every time I've been hit on, even by my husband's friends, business acquaintances and many politicians.

It was after ten years of marriage and with a good bit of fantasy encouragement from my husband that I began secretly enjoying sex with other men. I liked, even loved, every man I became involved with. I remain close friends with every one of them (except one, a very wealthy, shrewd older businessman and lobbyist, who I regret to say died unexpectedly during surgery; we were dear friends and voracious lovers...you should have seen that heavy log he called a dick; it was my favorite of all cocks).

My husband is a very loving, sensitive and caring person. But he possesses a deep jealous streak which he suppresses. He would be fine with men dancing with me or visiting me just to demonstrate how confident he was. He took pleasure in men being attracted to me, sort of a compliment recognizing how desirable his wife was. I think pornography caused his jealousy to go haywire. Pornography apparently fed this conflict between his jealousy, his confidence in me as an untouchable possession, and the eroticism aroused by the thought of another man wanting to make love to me. This began emerging in our sex life.

During sex,he began adding excitement to our fucking by asking about my sex life before marriage, his imagination fed by pornography. He even shared with me Penthouse letters revealing the inner turmoil and fantasies of men who longed to see another man fuck their wives, of wife swaps, of adultery, of open marriages, of voyeurism.

We began using this to fire up our sex life with hot talk of other men fucking me; his questions about how it felt to have another man ejaculate sperm into my pussy, or whether my old boyfriends had fucked me; questions about who was trying to fuck me; who was attractive to me; who would I like to fuck. Yes, it did arouse me and it did give me ideas. And I used his fantasies to tease him unmercifully. I would share and feed his fantasies during our love making. I would admit that certain men had fucked me...he would erupt in orgasm almost immediately. I could bring him to immediate orgasm just by describing the penis of one of these imaginary lovers. Or how it felt for my lover to shoot come into me. I told him of all the men I had masturbated. Trouble was, these fantasies aroused me too and I concluded he was all for it. I believed he wanted me to let men fuck me. So I secretly became an interested target.

The first was a neighbor. As my husband wrote, his name is Mike. He's a handy man who loved to hang around our house and help me fix things, and talk, drink coffee, take me fishing etc. He owned a plumbing company. Its true that he was out to fuck me. I knew it. But the same was true of numerous others who dropped by often and would stay even after my husband got home. My husband got a kick out of all the crushes and attentions I received from these men. Mike's marriage was on the rocks largely because he couldn't stay out of nightclubs and out of the panties of other women. He was gregarious and fun. And he fucked younger women and married women all over town.

In our long talks late into the night (long after my husband had gone to bed), Mike admitted all of these adulteries. He admitted to me early on that I would soon be one of his conquests.

"What do you mean?" I asked naively during this frank late-night talk.

"I am going to fuck you. Soon too," he told me with a smile. Then he kissed me gently on the lips for the first time. "See? I'm going to add you to my list of married women." I was aroused.

Then he kissed me again, but this time his tongue slipped between my lips and fucked my mouth. I sucked on his hot tongue for a full 2 or 3 minutes before we came up for air. I was speechless.

It was amazing because he is not handsome. That's probably why my husband had no fears. Its Mike's personality and sexualty that is so attractive and fun, and I was fascinated by his reputation with women. His beautiful young girlfriend (ten years his junior)spoke to me very bluntly one night, telling me Mike's lovemakig skills with his lips and thick fingers were famous among the single girls in local pubs/nightclubs. No one had ever spoken to me that way. He's "the best fuck I've ever had", she told me.

Sounds ridiculous, I know. I even told this to my husband who laughed out loud. But the girl was serious. I also told my husband of the various married women we knew who Mike confided to me that he was fucking or had fucked. My husband didn't believe it; I wasn't sure what to believe. My husband and I agreed on one thing: Mike had a crush on me. Secretly he rose to the top of my list of elgible men to fuck.

He may have been able to fuck me that first night he kissed because his suggestive talk, his confession of conquests and is expert lips and tongue created a burning desire to fuck that night.

I looked forward to our next late night talk. Several days had passed. He came over, ate hamburgers with us and swam in our pool. After the children and my husband had gone up to bed, we talked. We were both in our swimming suits with robes on. I asked him about a several of the married women he had told me about. He had nice things to say about each one.

"But you did have affairs with them?"

"Very casual."

"Does that mean you had sex with them?"

"Oh yes, I've told you that."

"Why?"

"I like each one. There was a mutual physical attraction. In each case we wanted to have sex so we did. Many times, many places."

There was more hot talk. I briefly changed the subject to the hamburgers he had cooked. Small talk ensued for a few minutes. Then we were kissing again. Then I was sucking on his tongue as he moved it in my throat in a fucking motion. He sucked on my tongu. Quietly, efficiently, effortlessly, knowingly, he dropped the shoulder straps of my bathing suit off my shoulders and rolled the front of my suit down to my waist revealing my breasts. His warm palms and fingers seemed a perfect fit for each breast. His fingers worked my nipples to fine hard points, passion licking between my legs.

"This inflames your pussy doesn't it? Its like nerve endings conect your nipples to your vagina...Right?" He squeezed harder on the points of each nibble. I thought I would faint, it felt so soothing, so good, so exciting.

We kissed,sucked and he fondled my breats for the next few minutes.

"Do you believe now I am going to fuck you?" I half expected the question.

"I've never had an affair. Only my husband,"

I answered.