Dear Dirty Diary Ch. 04

Dear Dirty Diary,

Three weeks passed and it was Sunday morning. The sun peeked softly through the slats of the blinds in our bedroom, showing promise for an inspiring new day. Doug was sleeping soundly, so I carefully slipped out of bed and headed for the shower. Soon the hot water tingled against my back and trickled down my bum, warming me completely. I shampooed my hair then began to lather the rest of me. The slippery bar of Dove slid soothingly across my wet skin, caressing my body with its softly rounded contours. Sure I had lathered my body completely, I took down the hand-held shower nozzle and began to rinse. I first rinsed my hair, face and neck, then swept down my shoulders. I sprayed down my underarms, then swung the nozzle around me and completed my back, bum and the backs of my legs. Concentrating then on the front of my body, I rinsed down my outer thighs, shins and feet.

Leaving the best until last as always, I lightly sprayed my back to keep me toasty warm, then immediately sprayed down my soapy breasts. My nipples poked out, deep rosy pink as I ran the spray quickly down my abdomen. Then quick as a wink, I flipped over the nozzle and sprayed up my crotch! An erotic shiver raced through my lower body as hot water tingled my labia. After thirty seconds of this bliss, I reached down and split my lips widely apart with my other hand. I spread my legs apart, then sprayed up into my vulva. My knees began to tremble when the tiny jets tingled against my growing clitoris. I stopped after only a few seconds, for any more of that and I surely would have cum right there in the shower and that would have been a terrible waste of my building erotic notions.

I toweled roughly to set my skin aglow, then blew dry my hair and pubes. I dabbed a little perfume on my chest, behind my ears and on each side of my pussy, put on my robe and quietly left the bathroom. Doug, to my surprise was still sleeping. He looked so sweet and innocent sleeping peacefully on his back. As I crept closer, I noticed that he had kicked off some of his covers and saw his penis was peeking out of the fly of his pajamas. It looked so vulnerable lying there, sort of like a little bird that had ventured out of its nest. It certainly didn't look at all prepared for the dangers that say, a foraging cat could bring upon it.

Laura, the Lion, stealthily crept across the bedroom floor. Stopping at the edge of the bed, she slowly and cautiously leaned over and bent her head down over her prey. Mere inches away from her quarry, she opened her mouth, bared her fangs then, in a flash, leapt and devoured it whole! So skillful was her attack, the little bird never had a chance. It pulled back and tried to escape, but her powerful jaws and constricting tongue held it firm.

Realizing its predicament, it tried to escape by bloating up hugely, but it was no match for the drawing suction of its captor's mouth. It pulsed and throbbed steadily, but Laura, the Lion, continued her attack on the struggling bird. She relentlessly slid her wet lips up and down its neck, just under its purple head. This must have had a strangling effect on the bird, for it tried yet another avenue of escape, by stabbing its talons into Laura, the Lion's, vulva. The bird's feeble thrusts however, only spurred on Laura, the Lion, who not only continued her bobbing attack on the bird's neck, but also began to suck the life out of its head.

The bird tried once again to escape by crying out, "If you don't stop right now, you'll get a mouthful of cum!"

I quickly spat out his penis and headed for the Kleenex box, only to find it was empty. I frantically searched for a towel or something to catch his semen, but had to settle for my yesterday's panties. I swooped up my rumpled underpants and hurriedly wrapped them around his penis.

Then Doug announced, "I guess I've cooled down a bit now."

Perturbed by his escape, I tightly squeezed his penis and said, "The hell you have!" Loosely gripping his penis now, I pumped my hand up and down its shaft so that my silky panties would chafe against his tender skin. When he pushed more fingers into my pussy, I worked my hand back and forth with frenzied motion. After just a moment or two of this torture, I heard him grunt, felt his penis surge again and again, then watched his glistening semen seep through the soft nylon bunched around the tip of his penis. Squeezing tightly, I worked the last of his sperm up out of his urethra into the folds of my wet gooey panties.

Doug, as usual, gave my pussy a few more wimpy thrusts then dozed off into blissful sleep. I, as usual, was all primed up for more sexual delights, but realized he wouldn't be good for anything for hours. My Laura, the Lion, caper had been fun and of course I began to daydream of how I could pounce on Louise next. I though that Laura, the Lion, should be sleekly cloaked to be most effective, so I carefully rolled out of bed, opened my lingerie drawer and retrieved a lacy beige push-up bra, slip, panties and nylons. I tiptoed out of our bedroom with my costume into the family room.

Too anxious to wait a second longer, I called Louise to set my trap. The lazy thing was still in bed, complaining of a stiff neck from sleeping with the window open too far. I told her I'd bring over my electronic muscle stimulator, like chiropractors use for therapy. I told her it might take a while to get everything ready. Planning ahead for my sneak attack, I suggested she unlock her door now, so she wouldn't get tensed up any worse when I got there. Sleepily she agreed and I put my plan into motion.

I took my time putting on all my slinky skin tone lingerie, got the EMS out of the bathroom cupboard, then slipped on an overcoat and slippers to go next door. It had been about twenty minutes since I phoned and I was hoping she had gone back to sleep. Quietly locking her door behind me, I crept silently through Louise's apartment. I peeked into her room and was delighted to find she was fast asleep on her bed. Sunbeams bathed her in a soft glow as I watched her gentle breathing. Like Doug, she looked so sweet and vulnerable in sleep. She had kicked the covers off her legs and I caught a glimpse of her little brown bush peeking out of the folds of her judo robe.

Laura, the Lion, edged closer to her unsuspecting quarry. A pink pussy-mouse lay dozing in a dark bushy thicket. Laura, the Lion, hovered overhead, then pounced on her prize in a flash. Unlike my previous conquest, this victim didn't even show a startle reflex. She just moaned softly and laid there in complete submission, leading Laura, the Lion, to surmise that she wasn't sleeping at all, and this may indeed, be a trap! Cautiously, Laura, the Lion, began to play with her captive, lapping softly at her labia. The mouse relaxed herself, allowing the thrusts of my tongue to gain entry through the thicket, into the hot wet interior of her pussy.

"This certainly beats an alarm clock." Louise said breathlessly. "I've fantasized forever of having my lover wake me with her tongue, so don't hold back." she continued, giving me a most wanton smile.

Laura, the Lion, hunched back down, then proceeded to devour her helpless prey. Louise, the Mouse, arched her back and trust up her hips as I gorged myself in her quivering vulva. When I licked her slit from her vagina, right up to her clit, then flailed it erect with my darting tongue, she dug her heels and elbows into the mattress in ecstasy. At the height of her surge, she whimpered, obviously in pain. "

It's not you, it's my stupid stiff neck," she explained.

I then remembered that I was on a mission of mercy, not just one of lust fulfillment.

I got my EMS out of its box and proceeded to hook her up. She said her chiropractor gave her therapy with a larger console-type unit sometimes. I wet the three-inch diameter pad, placed it on her shoulder by her neck and cinched it snug with its Velcro-tipped elastic strap. When I asked her where she'd like the other pad, she said she ached in the one spot only. When I explained to her that the EMS needed two pads hooked up to work, she said to put it somewhere I thought it might feel good. Trembling with devious excitement, I plugged in the smaller one-inch pad and asked her if she was ready for the biggest thrill she'd ever feel. Somewhat unsure, she agreed to it, so I began to finger her pussy to get it wet and relaxed. A second finger inserted along with some serious clitoral licking and she was ready. I smeared the small pad's face with KY jelly then carefully inserted the small pad, placing it on the bumpily textured skin of her G-spot. She showed an apprehensive expression when she heard me click the EMS on, so I reassured her by telling her I'd tried this before and it felt incredible.

I turned the intensity up one increment at a time, pausing at least two pulses between increases to catch her reaction. It wasn't until the fourth increase that Louise began to feel the tingle in her neck and pussy. Not overly impressed at first, she had me continue increasing the voltage gradually. After three additional increases, I saw that with each pulse, her shoulder would lurch ahead slightly and her pussy would quiver ever so slightly. Her eyes were closed, her lips were provocatively open and she would emit a low moan with each pulse. After about five minutes of blissful therapy,

Louise opened her eyes and asked if there was a way for me to join in. I admitted it was a little boring, just watching over her so I hiked up my slip. Without hesitation, she thrust her hand down inside my panties and poked me with her finger. When she found it slipped easily into the moistness of my pussy, she flailed that finger about, making loud, rude, squishy noises. Louise pulled down the front of my sleek shiny beige panties, while I smeared KY jelly on the other larger pad then rolled it up into a cylinder. I inserted it into my pussy like a tampon, lubed up the other small pad then placed it directly over my clitoris. As soon as I was sure it was centered perfectly, I pulled my panties back up snugly to keep the EMS pads in place.

I clicked on my control and turned up the intensity switch slowly. I felt a faint, pleasing tingle in my clit and all through my vulva. I turned it up slowly and found that the surge went right through the tip of my clit, driving my crazy. I adjusted the pad a higher until the tingle was just perfect then cranked it up to my usual level. Louise, the Mouse, suddenly did something that I was not prepared for. She rolled over toward me, wrapped her arms around me and kissed me ever so passionately. She slid her wet little tongue into my mouth and wriggled it all about.

A faint tingle pulsed through our wet tongues with each pulse and Louise said, "Wow, that must be what's meant by sparks flying between two lovers!" She took on a very serious expression and continued, "We are in love, aren't we?"

When I told her I didn't love her in the same way as my husband, Louise's expression changed to sadness, then on to radiance when I told her our love was wonderfully full of spontaneity and romance, to say nothing of the most incredible sex I'd ever experienced with anyone. I heard myself admit we were indeed, in love.

We hugged and kissed so passionately I could hardly catch my breath. Louise nuzzled my neck, sucked on my earlobes, and then sucked my nipples up hard through my bra's sheer nylon cups. She unfastened the front clasp of my little push-up bra, spilled out my hot breasts and took turns sucking one teat, while squeezing the other. She slid her hand down, rubbed all over my belly, then pressed on down between my legs. Annoyed by the EMS pads in her way, she pulled away my panties and quickly removed the tangle of pads and wires from herself and me. That done, Louise returned to caressing my pubes through my panties just the way I liked, saturating their crotch gloriously with my sap. To return the favor, I spread the lips of her labia and deftly massaged her clit, while probing her vulva with my other fingers.

All of a sudden, Louise said, "I don't know about you, but right now my pussy feels like it could take on a horse." She shoved two fingers from each hand into her vulva and spread herself widely so I could see right up inside her, saying, "Just look what your machine has done to me." "Who'll want a sloppy old pussy like this?" she lamented.

I pushed down my panties to find that my pussy was equally relaxed. My vulva just hung open, ready for business. When I told her we both seemed to be in the same predicament, Louise suggested we might as well take advantage of our conditions. She disappeared into the kitchen, so I whiled away my time by hooking myself back up to my EMS pads. By the time she returned, I was just about delirious with lust.

"Look at this, you shameless slut." she joked when she finally returned with her goody bowl.

Beaming from ear to ear, she showed me what appeared to be a large, peeled English cucumber in a bowl of what smelled like cucumber salad dressing. The twinkle in her eyes immediately hinted at where this idea of hers was headed. She hopped back into bed and jammed the cucumber right into my vulva. When she pushed it harder, the slippery, marinated cucumber slid easily into me, but that pushed the EMS pad in deeply and pulled its wire off. Louise pulled out the cucumber and tried to fish out the pad with her fingers, but it had been pushed out of reach up into me.

A serious frown came to her face and she said, "This looks like a job for Gynecologist Louise."

As quick as a wink, she dipped her hand into the salad dressing then shoved it into me, right up to her wrist! I was nearly climbing the walls as I felt that little hand twist and those slim fingers search every nook and cranny of my vagina. Like a child finding a prize in a box of cereal, she pulled out the pad and said, "Oh, here it is."

Laura, the Lion, attempted to gain back her composure now that Louise, the tiny-fisted Mouse, had withdrawn her hand. Before I even caught my breath, she grabbed the cucumber, swished it around in the salad dressing and plunged it into my still-dilated pussy. It seemed Louise, the Mouse, had reverted back to Louise Lafitte and was about to run me through once more. Instead, she had me lie on my side with legs spread wide apart. She turned around and positioned herself at the bottom of the bed, lying flat on her back, then squirmed up. She entwined our legs while lining up her pussy with the long cucumber stub sticking out of me. Louise smeared salad dressing all over that end of the cucumber then pushed herself against its tip. Her vulva must have been tighter than mine, for her thrust just pushed it all the way into me. She pushed once more and since it couldn't go any further into me, the cucumber split her little pussy wide open, then disappeared almost completely into her vagina too!

Still determined to experience more of the EMS machine's addicting therapy, Louise pointed out that since we were now truly joined by the wet, conductive cucumber, the current should pass through one into the other. I licked both small pads with my tongue to wet them then carefully pressed each atop our clits. Louise clicked on the switch and oh my, it was heavenly! The pulses indeed, traveled right through the cucumber, in one of our clits and out the other's. After a few pulses, I reached down and turned it up an increment at a time. By the fourth increase, both of us were delirious with sexual bliss. I looked down at the beautiful little woman sharing this incredible thrill with me, saw her whole body racked with passion and my fireworks exploded violently after only a few more pulses!

Immediately after my orgasm, I switched off the machine for the pulses were way too much for my hypersensitive little clitoris to bear. Louise looked frantic, so I pulled off of the cucumber, moved down and began to lick her clit. I sucked it erect then twisted the cucumber back and forth as I flailed her little bump with my tongue. She was stubborn and made me lick until the muscles of my tongue were sore, but finally she started to breath heavily. I intensified my assault on her clitoris with one last licking frenzy and my beautiful little lover shook and writhed through a spectacular orgasm! Her knees and thighs shook uncontrollably and her gorgeous nipples stood out huge and erect. She quivered with tremors five or six times, ceasing finally when I pulled out the cucumber.

Her eyes shone clear and dark as opals as she said, "A person could get really addicted to that if they weren't careful." She pulled the soggy cucumber out of her pussy and handed it to me saying, "Cucumber salad for your husband tonight?"

As I put the gooey cucumber back on the tray, I sniffed it and realized it really reeked of pussy in spite of the cucumber dressing. I told her that Doug, for sure, would catch on this time, to which Louise pointed out that theoretically our little affair couldn't really be deemed as cheating as long as my husband enjoyed the somewhat abused fruit of our labors. She cut the cucumber into slices, arranged them nicely on a plate, added just a sprinkle of fresh salad dressing and assured me that Doug would love it even more if he knew where it had been.

"Before you go, would you answer me a very personal question, Laura?" she asked as we were getting dressed. "How did your sexual obsession with lingerie come about?"

I pondered that for a while then told her it must have evolved during a visit to my aunt and uncle's one time when I was fifteen or so. I told her that my cousins and I would hang out in their attic bedroom. It was full of sexy old pinup calendars showing women, dressed in frilly revealing 1950's underwear in humorous predicaments. One evening, as our parents were drinking and playing poker, we got really rowdy, so they separated us, banishing me to my aunt and uncle's bedroom to cool off. To lessen my boredom, I peeked through their night table drawers and was amazed to find lots of lingerie, similar to that depicted on the sexy calendars.

In my uncle's drawers, I found a nudist magazine, some risqué novels, a hand-held vibrator and a View Master with a reel inside entitled, "So you think you've got problems!" What I saw in full color 3D will be forever etched in my brain to the smallest detail. The first scene, called "Fallen Angel", showed a very shapely woman grasping for her big floppy hat, blown off by a gust of wind. Her other hand, clutching a dog's leash, was wrenched back behind her and she was trapped by her little Scotch terrier dog. He had dragged his leash tightly out between her legs, popping several buttons up the bottom of her white and black polka dot shirtdress, then circled around, trussing her nylon-stocking covered thigh tightly to a fence post!

In the second scene, entitled, "Bird on a wire!" the wind had blown the loose hem of her dress way up, snagging it on a barb on an upper wire of the fence. As she attempted to retrieve her hat, by climbing between the barbed wire strands, she had squatted too low and also snagged the crotch of her billowy white panties on a lower fence barb. To complicate matters, yet another barb had caught the bodice of her dress, ripped one side wide open, allowing one huge floppy breast to spill out onto the fence wire. At that exact moment, the dog leapt through the fence and tightly pulled his leash up over her dangling, pendulous breast, lashing it dangerously close to the barbs on that strand of the fence wire!

The third scene, entitled, "Up the stump!" posed her with her retrieved hat in one hand and her other yanked up over her head by the dog, straining against his leash. He was ferociously chewing away at the fence-snagged hem of her dress, now hiked up around her waist and temporarily holding her suspended, half way down a grassy stream embankment. Her big frilly panties had ridden up as she slid down on her bum and were tightly stretched across her pubes. Jutting up between her thighs was a twisted, knobby, water-logged old stump root, sure to puncture right through her flimsy, straining panties and bury itself in her poor pussy, the second the dog chewed her free to slide down on it!