Decisions Ch. 01

"We were looking over your employment records and noticed that you haven't taken your vacation time yet this year. It might be good for you to take this upcoming week, as we aren't that busy at the moment."

Relief filled Riley at the suggestion. Perhaps this was Hunter's way of getting the two of them off work. They would go off somewhere for a holiday together. It would be wonderful.

"If it's all right to take the time off, then I guess I can do that." He leaned forward expectantly.

"Good, that's very good. Listen, when you get back, it would be best if we don't see each other anymore. My fiancée is coming back from her internship in France and I won't need any, um, relief anymore."

Getting kicked in the stomach couldn't possibly hurt anymore than hearing those words. His heart felt as though it was being ripped from his chest while the rest of him was cold and numb. "Your fiancée? I don't...what do...you have a..." His voice trailed off as he found himself unable to complete a thought. He took a breath and tried again. "I don't understand."

Riley stared at the man he'd fancied himself in love with. The man who had touched him, and whom he'd touched, so intimately. The man in question looked at him with a slight smirk, nothing like the expressions Riley normally saw.

"Let's face it, you're a cute little guy, but I'm very happy with Veronica. Finding another woman while she was away was out of the question, but you filled that place nicely. Now she's coming back and we'll be married in just a few months."

"I'll take my week's vacation," Riley said slowly, his voice seeming to come from a great distance, as he got to his feet. "I won't return to work here afterwards. I was already planning on finding something else, so I'll just start right away. Excuse me while I go clear my desk."

"Human Resources will prepare your final pay check, and they'll include your vacation pay and two months' severance. Thank you for everything you've done for me and the company."

This can't be happening, he thought to himself, as he gathered his few belongings.

First Blue tried to offer him up to his brother to test if the man was bisexual or not, and now Hunter, who he thought was his lover, claimed to have only used him for sexual release. He tried to keep from thinking as he made his way out to the bus stop. Images of the times he spent on...no he couldn't think of them as dates, not anymore. Tears prickled in his eyes as he tried to push away the memory of having sex in the back seat of Hunter's car.

Soon enough, Riley was home. He took a deep breath and walked in, ignoring his roommates to lock himself in his room. The first thing he did was go to the mirror and look at his reflection. Cute. Both Jake and Hunter described him as cute. Actually, both of them used the exact same words and called him a cute little guy.

No matter how much he hated it, people wouldn't see him as anything more than a twink. Why fight it? Any man he met would automatically identify him in that way. It didn't matter that he didn't really understand it, that's just the way it was. Even worse, it seemed all he was good for was to be used.

"Accept it. Use it and make it work to your advantage. That's what the professors used to say, to find your strengths and play to them. So, stop your bellyaching and get to it. You can't change the past, but you can change the present to make the future yours."

By Sunday night, Riley knew what he wanted to do. He packed all his things and called his parents. They were somewhat surprised that he wanted them to store his things, but agreed and promised to drive over the next day to move everything over. Riley only told his roommates that he quit his job and needed to move somewhere closer to where he would work next. He made it sound as though there was already something waiting for him.

In the morning, he sat at his computer to do research and find a new place to live. He made some notes, sent out new inquiries and found himself growing calm and sure. This was the right thing to do. It wouldn't be easy but he could do it.

The knock at the door surprised him, since he didn't expect his parents for another two hours. It surprised him even more to find Blue standing there. Riley stared at the man who'd been his friend, neither smiling nor slamming the door closed. Blue had simply recognized the truth about him, even if he didn't appreciate it.

"Riley, please, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. I just don't think Hunter is right for you and I hoped spending time with Jake..."

"It doesn't matter. Apparently, Hunter agreed with you about everything and was simply taking advantage of the 'cute little guy' until his fiancée came home. So go ahead and give your brother my number. He can rent a room, I'll bend over for him, and we'll see if he's into guys as well as girls. In the meantime, however, I have things to do and I want to get them done as soon as I can. Goodbye."

Riley knew he was being a drama queen, a bitchy one at that, but he didn't particularly care. He closed the door against Blue's protests and went to put the finishing touches on his packing. He'd only been here a little over a year, but he'd managed to spread his things around quite a bit. Mostly because the guys liked his stuff and were always borrowing it. Seemed easier to have it out and accessible than put up with their knocking on his bedroom door all the time.

He fielded one phone call from Harley, who told him that they were very sorry and that he was being a bit unfair to Blue. Riley let him have his say then simply hung up. He didn't feel up to anything more than that. Why should he try to be fair, when it seemed no one was being fair to him?

His parents arrived and helped him load up his belongings, all except for the suitcase Riley planned to take with him while he took off for the week to work things out. He thought about Jacob then, wondering if the man was bisexual. What would he do if Blue's brother actually called him? Remembering the details of Jacob's appearance, Riley felt his heart sink when he realized that he probably would end up meeting the man. It couldn't be worse than that awkward fumbling in the BMW, after all, and might even be better.