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Click hereArriving at the car, I felt the familiar vibration of my cell phone, alerting me that I had received a new text message. Glancing at the screen, I saw that the text was from Kara. Finally, I thought. The long awaited confirmation that we were exclusive had been sent; the context of her text that would firmly establish us as a couple. Smiling for ear to ear, I selected the "read message" option. Instantly my entire world shattered. Her simple response just stated "NO."
Nice ending, I have to see how the ramifications will play out.
I like the story line and the irony that is about to begin. I'm waiting for the shocker, so I should read chapter three. Please do pay attention to the word spelling and seek out an editor if you don't have one. Pretty good job of telling a story.
RS
I cringe every time Derek thinks of the Kara fuck sessions as "love-making."
Lots of errors as mentioned above. I've noticed similar errors in many authors stories as well. Is there a spell checker issue on this site? Orgasm/organism is an error I've noticed in particular. Literotica needs to get this checked out (I've turned my auto check function in Word off years ago)
Looking forward to chapters 3 through 28 real soon!!!
Marvin
You are writing a very good story, but it is diminished by so many errors in grammar. I am sensitive to them as I'm an editor for many authors and would be willing to help you improve the readbility by editing it for you prior to posting. You can find me listed in the editors section.